Friday Favs 1/16/15
January 16, 2015 Some of my favorite new submissions this week.
Remember, kids, it's wrong to laugh at someone's name.
Unless it's spelled like this:
;)
I hear he's a real gas!
(No, that's not really his name. Sorry, Dr. Goldfarb.)
(Bee tee dubs, did you know the Brits sometimes call a fart a "trouser cough?" I just felt that needed to be shared. You're welcome.)
Just another reminder that gender reveal cakes are a terrible idea:
;)
I wonder how much awkward back-pedaling these mistakes have caused over the years. Like, that second celebratory back-flip better seem JUST AS HAPPY, mister. [glare]
Speaking of happy, a pro baker sent me this screen cap of a conversation with one of his customers, and it is, in a word, perfection:
;)
Phew! Thank goodness she caught that.
You know how Mario Kart has Rainbow Road? Turns out Monster Jam has something similar:
;)
Fecal Freeway!
(There's a "skid mark" joke in there SOMEWHERE, I just know it.)
This cookie cake was bare in the middle, so they asked the baker to fill in the big space with something decorative.
They got this:
;)
Picasso, eat your heart out.
And finally, look, sometimes a baker gets really high, tries to eat a pillow, and then realizes she needs to hide the secret beer stash from the boss, ok? This could literally happen to anyone.
;)
Really, the only mystery left is how that bottle is still full, amirite? Haha! You know, because drunks? In the bakery? Like, who are drunk while decorating? Am I being too subtle? No? OH GOOD.
Thanks to Carol B., Charmaine F., Craig B., Jill K., Stacey M., & Shari I. for helping me put the B in "subtle."
*****
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Reader Comments (36)
I wonder about the human race.....
Sung to "Goldfinger"
Goldfarter (mwawawaaaa...)
He's the man, the man who just farts too much
His sulfurous touch
Blue's a nonstarter (mwawaaawaaa)
Reckon you should probably spell "write" for him
Poor old Maxim
Fecal roads will make kids run in fear
And white blobs are artistic, I hear
And a golden brew can't be wrong, sister
Though it might ferment in Mister... Goldfarter
Really, girls, beware! He's just uncontrolled.
Now you've been told!
The second one is fine… it's a trans-gender reveal cake.
There once was a gifted playright
Who wanted to sit down and wright
But he had cake instead
Wishes now he were dead
As he's feeling somehow not quite write
I hope this is rite.
You know what's terrible? They took a corner piece, which is the best piece by the way, and they left all that icing on the board! Tragic.
They got the basic concept of gender reveal cake right, but got the actual gender wrong.
*Wipe eyes and breathes* Oh thank-you, Sharyn. I so want to hear Shirley Bassey belt that one out. (Would a belt rein in the trouser coughs? Probably not.)
is dr goldfart the next bond villain?
Dr Goldfart? SNERK!
On the forth cake nice void area and I heard of black holes!
Why does the monster truck cake look like a Christmas cake that they add decoration to? Just asking.
Ghost horse-head cookie: what I would do with that thing would be to put it at the foot of the bed (under the covers) of the Cakefather, to-you know-show him that he can't mess with the baker...OR, uh......the next time, he could be sleeping with the cupcakes. =^-.-^=
A Bakery Accident
or
How a Gender Reveal Cake can go Horribly Wrong
It's just another ordinary day at the bakery. Baker Emma Frost has two orders for chocolate gender reveal cakes, one for a girl and one for a boy. She places the ultrasound pictures to the side so they won;t get covered in frosting. She makes the cakes side by side, filling one with pink and one with blue, then carefully assembling the layers, and frosting both in white. Just as Emma puts the finishing touch on the border of the second one, in rushes her assistant S.P. Rinkle who exclaims, "Come Quick! Desie Aster just got his arm stuck in the mixer! Again!" Emma Frost and S.P. Rinkle run off to saye Desie Aster. Again. A call to 911, 2 EMTs, a TV news crew, and several hours later, Emma comes back to the gender reveal cakes she left behind, but one of them is gone. The customer had come in to pick it up while she was dealing with Desie. Shrugging she boxed up the remaining cake, with the remaining ultrasound. "It's a 50/50 chance it's right" she thought to herself, "surely my luck today can't be that bad."
I heard the term was Trouser Geese
Man, you are so funny! Just LOVE it. Thanks for making my Friday.
The giant cookie cake is an excellent representation of the continent of Antarctica. Well done, wreckerator. Well done.
I don't know what's wrong with that last cake. What goes better with chocolate frosting than warm Corona?
Why are there dirty cotton balls cradling that beer bottle? *cringes*
Well, assigning colors to genders is stupid anyway. The baker was making a statement. A statement I probably would agree with. All colors are for everyone!!!
I do think the cut face of the cake with crumbs and mooshy frosting matches that ultrasound picture pretty closely, though. Excellent work, baker. Gave them JUST what they asked for.
Love that cookie... it's a polar bear in a blizzard, right?;-)
No one in the uk uses the phrase 'trouser cough' sorry 😩😩 we should tho
Completely random historical side note: Blue was for girls up until the Edwardian age (early 20th Century). Blue was associated with the Virgin Mary (notice she still is almost always depicted wearing blue and white?). Pink, on the other hand, was seen as a faded red. Red, being the color of Mars (the Roman god, not the planet), was associated with warfare and blood - and therefore with boys.
....So maybe the baker is just a traditionalist?
I used to entertain my professor and my classmates in our Editing and Proofreading class with stuff from your site. They would have loved that email. Thanks for being such a source of education! Trouser cough, indeed!
I think that was Picasso's heart! O.o
my cousin used to call farts "fanny burps" when he was wee
I thought the Monster Jam ran Ken facedown in the road.
Well, this is the day for learning new things! In addition to finding out about "trouser coughs," I also learned that the German word arschkalt, meaning "ass cold." I could have used that one in the past few weeks!
What I haven't learned yet, though, is why you would lay a bottle of beer sideways on top of a cake. SMH, and drinking more wine to recover.
Is that last one even a cake? Kinda looks scorched around the edges, with a slightly barrel say motif and scratched leather top.
Lol! The gender reveal cake.. maybe the wreckerator saw something the ultrasound didn't catch. Psychic or they are psycho either way lol. Dr. Goldfart gets my vote as new Bond villan lol.
I'm a Brit and I have NEVER heard anyone say "Trouser Cough"... seriously ever.
I knew Sharyn wouldn't let me down! Mwa! Or should I say mwawawaaaa...? As for jane lewis' question, I'm pretty sure Dr. Goldfart would be more of an Austin Powers thing.
If Abracd is right about "trouser cough" not really being a thing, perhaps a Brit was pulling your leg? So tell him to pull your finger!
I think you should ask pro bakers to send in more of those gems and devote a day to that. I have a feeling a lot of the messes we see are because of customer illiteracy!
While the misuse of he word "write" is pretty bad, the real tragedy is that someone named their child "Maxim."
Historical wreck? Birthday cake for FDR from the Library of Congress Flickr stream: https://www.flickr.com/photos/library_of_congress/16109159527.
Trouser cough is generally used in a faux-posh way for comedic effect, fellow Brits who ain't never heard of the term.
You're welcome!
The best part of the gender reveal cake photo is the irony of the chipped blue nail polish on the thumb holding the ultrasound scan printout. Does it belong to the baby's mother or father, aunty or uncle, grandmother or grandfather, or even brother or sister?
Ella Mc
Ann, your cousin definitely wouldn't want to be calling them "fanny burps" in the UK, Aus or NZ (and probably other Commonwealth countries) - fanny refers to female genitalia here (and not in a polite way you'd be able to use in front of your dear old grandmother, though less harsh than certain other words).
t's also why we always giggle hysterically or blush furiously (depending on which generation you're from) whenever US tourists innocently refer to their fanny packs :-D
I've lived in England my entire life and never heard a single person utter the words 'trouser cough'. Even for comedic effect.