9 Realistic New Year's Resolutions
January 12, 2015 Chances are you've all completely failed at all your New Year's resolutions by now.
Well, good! Who needs 'em? Round IS a shape! You know plenty of stuff already!
And really, if God didn't want you in debt, he wouldn't have given you so many credit cards!
So I say, let's try some realistic resolutions. Stuff that tells the world, "Hey, I'm BEING the change I want to see... in my spare time and when there's nothing better to do."
- Celebrate the little things.
;)
Preferably with cake.
- Stop Saying "That's What She Said,"
;)
0.o
... at least so often.
(The order was: "Happy Birthday Oliver, below that 24.")
- Drink more water.
;)
There's water in beer, right?
- Be more enthuseas... inthusiast... positive.
;)
Also work on spelling.
- Change all my passwords to something besides "password."
;)
Sure. That works.
- Pluck
;)
- Learn the names of my coworkers.
;)
Nicknames count.
- Win more staring contests.
;)
...
...
...
And finally, for a little fun:
- Find a new hobby!
;)
Thanks to RJ, Megan H., Diane C., Tonya, Alisa G., Julie B., Shelley M., John Paul, & Betty Ann, who thinks you look fabulous in that new blouse.
*****
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Reader Comments (45)
Okay, they can't spell Cholesterol, lager, the digit 10, and Happy was obviously written by a Spanish speaker who pronounces "J" like "H", but "Purdy at 30" rhymes.
My New Year's Resolution: Have a baby.
Considering I'm 7 months pregnant, I think I'll actually be able to keep this one! :)
I have a few bits of problems concerning the next-to-last cake (which is "credited" as "being" a "fox"). 1: It has either too many, or not enough, toenails/claws on its back foot, and 2: I was looking at the cake's eyes, and I began to feel sleepy...very, verrryy...sleeeee
=^u.u^=zzzzz
Jappy Birthday.
At least they spelled fu?kface correctly.
@sendingtheclowns-I was very happy to think the next-to-last cake was some sort of killer-zombie deer. In fact I was thrilled. Now all I can see is a poorly executed fox. Sigh...
O_o
I still have hope for myself concerning my New Year resolution (I saw how the wind was blowing & only made one this year).
But I'm glad that's the larger sized beer bottle; my bladder would hate a bigger one.
Are we sure Oliver's cake and the "Jappy Birthday F***face" cake aren't for the same person?
The fox cake needs to pluck as well. :P
"Blow that 24",
Because "underneat that" is so last decade!
Yes, Shirley Fowley, "purdy at 30" rhymes... but 'prudy at 30" doesn't! :)
@SuBee: Play the old "shoot the messenger" card, huh? I didn't write the credit (that shows up when you click on the photo, and reads, in part:"fox.jpg?". (See? Even they weren't sure!) But I'll take your "killer-zombie deer", and raise you a rock-strewn, glaze-eyed nightmare. Sleep well (lol)!
I didn't know I could get a cake for being a prude. Awesome!
Apparently no sports fans among the Cake Wrecks staff -- the Fear the Brow cake is a reference to Anthony Davis of Kentucky who was known for his unibrow (and very proud of it) and this was a slogan during his year at Kentucky. He's in the NBA now and still has the unibrow. The cake isn't very well executed, but a Kentucky fan would get it immediately.
maybe the 30 year old is a PRUDE - that takes care of the possibility of a misspelling, right? :P
I'm not sure what the fox says, but here's what I said when I saw that terrifying one: YIKES!!!! I'd be afraid to cut that cake for fear it would attack me.
So Oliver doesn't date any 10s, but at least he knows three 8s.
Deer don't have toenails. Or fangs. But foxes don't have fangs either. I'm going with zombie killer coyote.
@SuBee @sendingtheclowns My first impression was a rabid Corgi. You know what I mean? The dogs you always see with the Queen with those short lttle legs? I don't really see any legs - just claws. LOTS of claws.
Those pale eyes made me think of a husky, a rust-covered, killer zombie husky.
A comment on the "Fear The Brow" cookie - there was a marketing campaign from University of Kentucky Men's Basketball. One of their key players had a unibrow. He's now playing in the NBA, so even though it looks rather funky, it's probably not a cake wreck in the true sense of the word.
I like to think cake #4 was what my friend Prudy had on her 30th birthday. Heck, she's over 50 now and she's STILL Prudy!
You guys are trapped inside the box.
Clearly it's 9.01 not 10
What Debra said. The fear the brow is not a "cake wreck" it is exactly as it is supposed to be. #BBN
@Debra, I sent in that "fear the brow" cake with the explanation as to what it meant. Still pretty strange cake to look at... :)
That is the first chupacabra cake I've seen.
"And really, if God didn't want you in debt, he wouldn't have given you so many credit cards!" Yeah, Dave Ramsey, explain that one!
"Blow that 24." I thought, man they sure are aiming for a high blood alcohol level! Have to drink some larger lager for that. You will certainly be less prudy before it's all over with.
"Jappy"? Hey, why just put the F word on a cake when you can work in a racial slur, too!
I read it as "prady" at 30 which just makes so much more sense. [???]
Dang! Dyslexia strikes agian.
That animal cake is just creepy
I was not prudy 30. I'm pretty sure that's the night of the previously mentioned couch incident. o.O
Whatever that animal thing is will, I'm sure, be featured in my nightmares tonight. Thanks @sending, @SuBee and all the rest for adding to the fear factor! And @TLC, thanks a lot for that stupid earworm!
In other news...I ordered the baby shower cake this weekend. I'm slightly terrified.
It's not often you see a Muntjac in cake form, so I'll forgive the claws
Lol! That last one will give me nightmares for weeks now. Sheesh. And whoever got the Jappy birthday cake is probably slapping whoever bought it lol. Though the flowers were pretty.
Ths sabre-toothed deer has be worried.
@Jodee: I know what you mean. Did that a coupke of years ago for my niece. And now she's pregnant again and due in July, so we'll get to do it again!
They should have a special waiting area for Cake Wrecks fans waiting for cakes they've ordered. Stocked with lusciuos chocolate cake with buttercream frosting and NO decorations. Oh, and alcohol. Like cake vodka.
I'm stupidly grateful that the football in No. 3 actually resembles a football. :o
Oh, dear God, what is that THING?
I was hoping "blow that 24" was new Canadian slang for drinking a case of beer, or the inevitable outcome.
Who's betting that the animal cake is red velvet on the inside...maybe some jam thrown in for good measure....
That deer-fox-thing is distinctly reminiscent of the Gmork. I'm guessing this one handles the smaller, less populated parts of Fantasia.
If Oliver finds himself with a 24, he'll be lucky if she even lets him touch her.
What is a "Jappy" birthday?
Why does the deer have fangs? FANGS? Is there some vampire deer movie out there I missed?
The cakes made me cringe. The comments made me laugh so hard I cried. Thanks everybody! (Especially those of you who ALSO thought that was a killer zombie deer, so glad I'm not alone!)
Is that supposed to be the loup garou?