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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Sep152014

ABBA-Tastic!

"Introducing our new 'Take a Chance' Cake Reclamation Program!"

("Cue music!")

 

If they change their MINDS!

Pipe on thick white lines.

 

Wait, that's not 3?

Cross it out! Who'll see?

 

Don't want your mistakes to show?

Slap some frosting down!

 

Go on fix it, THEY won't know!

Everyone likes brown!

 

If you're all a-LONE!
'cause the bak'ry staff has gone.
Get a piping plea?

Try a black Sharpie!

 

Wanna do your VERY best?
Scrape it off, bye-bye!

Transform that MINNIE mess!
Now it's a bow tie.

 

Take a chance, you'll see...

(That's all I ask of you... Buddy?)

 

All this cake ain't free!

[music screeches to a halt]

 

Er, that'll be $37.50, please.

 

Thanks to Christina B., Limmuel B., Katie T., Stephanie P., Chay H., Kristin A., Kris, & Wendy B for the Money Money Money.

*****

Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.

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Reader Comments (33)

With your little mousy face shalt thou eat cheese, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return. Rest in Peace, Minnie.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Hilarious! Thanks Sharyn!
"Harpy Birthday???" LOL -- my new favorite

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

One of my favorites on the old Abba 8 tracks. Thanks for the memories!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSusan

That last one intrigues me, it's the first time I've seen cake with menaces
Do Da Boyz hand it over before breaking your legs or just politely leave it on the doorstep? Do they add the cost of cake to what you owe, or is it thrown in? Are you allowed to eat it, or is it pushed into your face? Is it real cake or an iced brick that comes through your window? Or is it some new directive issued by the banks to sweeten the deal on your overdraft? These are questions I need to have answered!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

30+ years ago when I worked in a grocery store bakery, none of us was a cake decorator. We'd write whatever thte customer wanted on a pre-made sheet cake. If we made a mistake, we popped it into the walk-in freezer for 20 minutes until the frosting froze. Then we would lift the mistake off and re-pipe it. How hard is that?

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRhonda in WNC

This one made me grin from ear-to-ear. :D <- (See?)

One of my "goals" in life is to record all of the Cake Wreck parodies...posts and/or comments, and upload them to YouTube.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

That bow tie is NOT cool.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

A cake wreck update with ABBA...The Winner Takes it All!!!!
These cakes need to send out an SOS. But the bakers that keep Taking a Chance are really Super Troupers. After all, they have to make Money Money Money if they want to take a chance for a nice vacation, maybe to visit the Waterloo battle site, along with their Mamma Mias.
But, Knowing You, Knowing Me, this is the best they can be. The wreckers may Voulez Vous making great cakes, but perhaps they should change their profession...maybe they'd make good Dancing Queens.
And, Thank You For the Music! Brought back some memories!!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterFernando

No just... NO!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Yay Fernando!

Okay, I'm very tired today, which must bring out the perv in me, because cake #3 looks like 3 penises in a row to me.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

Interesting angle on that first shot...unless the cake had been displayed on the wall.
#2>Huh.11 bloballoons,13/14 years old, and $16.99 for a 1/4 sheet cake. I smell a math equation in there, somewhere...and I am so glad that I'm not in school anymore.
#3> let's just call it a "work glove", because the banana split.
#4> That cake's been sitting there for three years, nameless. Open the darn diploma and see who's it is, already!!
#5>Too bad about the sand storm on little Gabby's big day.
#6>That's a cake that only a mother could love. Not necessarily PAY for, though...These ARE supposedly "professional", right? (I have to keep reminding myself.)
#7>Wait-don't tell me! I've got it: If the birthday person doesn't pay up, the NEXT cake will be made of wet cement? =^~.-^=

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Fixing Cakes Again (with apologies to The Weather Girls)

Hi! Hi! We’re you’re bakery girls and have we got news for you
(You better listen)
Get ready all you cake lovin’ folk
And leave those concerns at home


Tempers are risin’, patience getting low
According to all sources, our bakery’s the place to go
Tonight is the next time, just about half past ten
We’ll take our place in history, we’re fixing cakes again
We’re fixing cakes, Hallelujah, we’re fixing cakes, Amen
We’re going all out, we’re gonna fix your cake, on this you can absolutely bet
We’re fixing cakes, Hallelujah, we’re fixing cakes, every specimen
Weddding, birthday, congrats and more and the one’s for your young rug rats


God bless wide white stripes
No end to what they can do
Just slap a bunch together
That’s all you have to do
We can rearrange a Minnie, not that big a try
And each and every time end up with a bow tie!


We’re fixing cakes, Hallelujah, we’re fixing cakes, Amen
We’re fixing cakes, Hallelujah, we’re fixing cakes, Amen


So, the kid’s not 13? Cross it out.
No need to begin again, no, no need
The congrats cake – don’t you lose your head
Scratch off and cover up instead


God bless wide white stripes
No end to what they can do
Just slap a bunch together
That’s all you have to do
We can rearrange a Minnie, not that big a try
And each and every time end up with a bow tie!


Tempers are risin’, patience getting low
According to all sources, our bakery’s the placed to go
Tonight is the next time, just about half past ten
We’ll take our place in history, we’re fixing cakes again


We’re fixing cakes, Hallelujah, we’re fixing cakes, again
We’re fixing cakes, Hallelujah, we’re fixing cakes, again
We’re fixing cakes, Hallelujah, we’re fixing cakes, Amen

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

That last cake must be from the IRS.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterBigg3469

@Caroline B:

I don't know, I kinda think most of the cakes we see on here are menacing. What about the baby baby shower cakes that make you vomit to look at them? Buzz Lightyear going to insanity and beyond? The chocolate-covered insects/pig heads? The various dinosaurs/Godzillas who look like THEY want to have the birthday child for a party? Misshapen and grotesque animated characters? The REALLY dirty cakes on display? The zombie and Halloween cakes? The memorable-in-a-bad-way wedding cake with two dead stuffed squirrels on it? (I could go on...)

Now, most of them don't SAY "Warning: Dystentery Ahead", I'll grant you.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

On that last one you can still see where they tried to clean up the blood stain. Evidently the first guy didn't pay up.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSandy

I did not realize that Minnie Mouse was a bearded lady.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

mel - One of the best one-hit wonders of all time. Thanks for that smile!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersue

Cake: Makes everything (including debt repayment) better!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterErica

@SaraCVT You just had to remind me didn't you - I'd tried to block them from my memory, nearly done it but now all I can see are the monkeys, the meat Justin Bieber, the Easter sheep....ARGH.....

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Yay, Mel! And it's even better when you hear the thunder in the background.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterzeldabird

I swear that was Cousin It's baby (What) with a ribbon on it's head.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

@Jodi ~ You're not the only one! O.O

@mel ~ Glad to see you're well rested again! Nicely done, my friend.

@Fernando ~ Suddenly I have the urge to pull out the copy of Mamma Mia. Ehh... could be worse!

@Sharyn ~ I just love when you write posts. It reminds me of The Hitchhikers Guide post and how much I needed to laugh that day.

@Caroline B. and @SaraCVT ~ That was really mean, ladies. Now all I can think of is the meat baby!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@Caroline B:

AAAUUGGH! You're even! I had totally forgotten the meat Justin Bieber and now it's all I can see...

Oh, yeah? I see you and raise you one cake with a plushie embedded in the frosting!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

@SaraCVT I'll see your fluffy plushie frosting and raise you one blood-dripping, pubic hair embellished birth cake - top that! (Yerk, made myself gag there!)
Now as I'm British, I have throw my cards in and go to bed or I'll be fit for nothing tomorrow. If I dream of giant fondant monkeys coming to get me, I'm holding you entirely responsible!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Omg. I can't believe you keep finding this stuff. The worst part is that these fluff brained wreckerators keep doing it without shame. The butchered minnie bow... oh my.... just wow

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRobin

How is Minnie Mouse worse than Minnie Mouse buried in cement???

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJessica T

Caroline B:

This is getting entirely too competitive! (As well as disgusting...) But I can't back down now...so I see your birth cake and raise you one infected foot cake minus two toes! HURK! That's the best (worst?) I've got.

Good thing I already ate dinner. Or maybe not...I need to go lie down.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

To have and to hold,
forsaking all others, cause
I paved them over.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHaiku Joy

@sue: you are welcome! It is a great song, isn't it….thanks for commenting!
@zeldabird: thank you, and, coincidentally, it was raining when I wrote this today (but neither men nor cakes…though for a while it rained cats and dogs…when I went outside to get the paper, I stepped in a poodle….)
@Jodee: thanks...it’s been rather cool here, so that helps…like an autumn preview – sweatshirt and woolen blanket season –yes!

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

The employee responsible for the sharpie/Hello Kitty cake was probably fired for giving future customers an idea: don't bother buying wrecks, just buy the pre-decorated cakes and write the message on the plastic container yourself! Brilliant. I'd seriously write on one myself before buying any of the hand-me-down cakes in this post.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTifa

Harry Birthday?

I treasure my ignorance of this song as well. I'll just assume it's from a Disney movie and count myself lucky.

September 15, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkhereva

@SaraCVT I fold, you win! So glad I didn't read that before I went to bed! Well played, well played; you take the prize, which is the toe section of that cake with a nice cup of tea.

September 16, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Harry birthday?

September 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNobodee Home

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