An Out of This World Valentine's Day
February 13, 2014 Cakes, the final frontier...
;)
Star Fleet Recreation Department -- Matchmaker's Log:
Attempts to celebrate Valentine's Day on the Starship Wrecksurprise have not gone entirely as planned.
The Horta took the pink dye beautifully, but got overexcited when someone fed him too many cookies and burned through 19 decks and the outer hull.
;)
It took over an hour to fix the breach, and three crewmen are still unaccounted for.
(There goes my promotion.)
The Andorian lovebugs we imported are super friendly:
;)
...but it turns out they're poisonous, and Dr. McCoy is out of antivenom.
On the plus side, I finally convinced Mr. Spock to give Nurse Chapel a Valentine!
;)
She threw a bowl of plomeek soup at him.
;)
Which he claimed was delicious.
Personally, I was thrilled when the Tellarite agreed to dress up as Cupid,
;)
...but shaving him clogged the sonic showers, and now I'm confined to quarters.
Oh, and the tribbles got into the Valentine's candy and have overrun decks 23-25.
Turns out, chocolate is bad for tribbles.
;)
So now I've got three decks of wired, farting tribbles to contend with.
(I guess I'm kinda glad I'm confined to quarters...)
Not to mention the food replicators are on the fritz...
;)
...and I'm the butt of everyone's jokes.
On top of everything, Captain Kirk's choice of Valentine for the bridge crew was -- well -- unfortunate.
;)
McCoy's out of antidote for that, too.
So all in all, I think we'll just skip Valentine's Day next year.
High commendations to our cake cadets Michelle L., Nic B., Rachel H., MJ S., Maria M., Jen F., Emily N., Veronica R., and Chrispy. May you all Live Long and Prosper -- perhaps by sticking to flowers and candy this Valentine's Day.
*****
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Reader Comments (54)
Bwahahahahaha :D stuck in NY due to snow, need the laugh
I just LOVE how you let your nerd flag fly freely!! I especially enjoyed the cake from Mr. Spock for Nurse Chapel. :)
I’ll add this to the dozen or so Star Trek theme songs that are sure to appear here today:
Here is your Valentine’s cake
It took me some minutes to make
My frosting skills may not be as strong as my love
But I swear upon the stars above
I’ll always tolerate you
And put up with your hiney, too.
So please enjoy your VD now
I gave it to you…
It brings me great satisfaction the Tellarite is "without picks and rings". Important information prior to purchase.... FAIL!!!
Holidays - in Spaaaaace!
(Everything's better in space.)
The Love Boat - in Spaaaaace!
I always love coming to Cakewrecks in the morning for my daily brightener- but I just lost it at the mental image of farting tribbles hopped up on sugar. BWAAHAAHAA!
I guess that's the reason Horta's don't eat too many cookies...perhaps we need to spend more time studying Horta culture....
@SuBee: Oh, you romantic...love, hiney tolerance and cake: the trifecta of Valentine's Day...your song brought tears to my eyes...
Bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Sharyn and Subee are on FIRE today!!
The "I tolerate you" is my fave too.
Having grown up watching the original, not to mention seeing all the movies as I got...er...more mature shall we say, this hit a special place in my hiney, oops, heart. I laughed so hard I was in tears. This is truly an EPIC post. Thank you once again for making me laugh uproariously and making everyone wonder what the heck is going on at my desk! I didn't JUST laugh, I GUFFAWED until tears were streaming down my face.
Love you all.
Live long and prosper, Sharyn, Jen, John (THoJ) and all the Wrecky crew! Thank you for a perfect Trekker Valentine card!
@mindy1-Come on over, I'll make cocoa!
BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Excellent, Sharyn. Thank you so much for making it so.
(Yes, that's NextGen but hey - its all trekky goodness, right?)
Absolutely classic post. What could possibly be better than Star Trek and Cake Wrecks "deliciously" joined together? You really had no choice after seeing that first cake, did you?
Also, embarrassed to admit I had to google what VD was an abbreviation for (though I already had a pretty good idea based on the commentary).
Brilliant. :)
Cake Wreckin' across the internet!
On the website Jen hosts, cakes are at their worst.
Cake Wreckin' across the internet!
Always laughing heartily the more they are perverse.
Those Tribbles look like they're gonna blow
gonna blow
gonna blow
Those Tribbles look like they're gonna blow
Chunks
It's Cupid, Jen but not as we know it
not as we know it
not as we know it
It's Cupid, Jen but not as we know it.
*hurk*
With apologies... to everyone (I couldn't get this out of my head)
Happy VD!
And those Orion slave girls *really* get around...thus the good Captain's choice of confectionery. But I did love Spock's the best. Fascinating.
I bet Sheldon would like it, too. (Hey, did anyone else see the last episode of THBBT? With the train and his new goofy friend? And the you-know? [Trying not to spoil it if you didn't.])
I've been watching the original Star Trek series with my mom for a while now, so this post is extra hilarious for me because now I understand the references, like Spock's cake. So funny! Thanks for the daily laughs, CW Team!!
Favoritest. Post. Ever.
Brilliant Sharon, simply brilliant. I kept hearing it in Shatner's voice until I got to the Captain Kirk line but even then it was still fitting. Even though it was Star Trek I couldn't help hearing Sheldon's computer voice when I saw the "hiney" cake, "And some hiney would be nice"
@SaraCVT - I saw it and it was great. The perfect way to have that happen. I won't say anymore to keep from giving it away.
@Haiku Joy - Wonderful. And I read the first line in Muppet Show voice: Piiiigs iiiiin Spaaaaaace!
Awesome as always! But... the lips on the Horta, the lips. I just don't get the lips, lots of lips. And then the Tellurite's lips, and the tribbles looking like just-fed zombie tribbles; bloody lips. Yikes.
Cake #6 reminds me of the dwarfs dressed as cupids for Valentine's Day in Harry Potter. I love those dwarfs.
And your nerdiness brings a song to my heart and a smile to my face.
I'm definitely using I Tolerate You for Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure that plomeek soup wreck is what New Jersey looked like after the big game a few weeks ago. Much love Ms. Sharyn! ;-)
@mel ~ Horta culture! **snort**
"HINEY"???? What on earth were they going for with that?? Also, I would totally be a crewmember on the Starship Wrecksurprise. Sounds like a blast. Or a tribble fart, I get them confused.
Stellar
These cakes make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Yes I'll enjoy my VD just as soon as I get my test results and who doesn't want someone to give them a cake that says I tolerate you?
Epic! Jumped-up farting tribbles FTW!
I love Mr. Spock's cake. It could also be an appropriate sentiment from Sherlock Holmes (Benedict Cumberbatch or Jonny Lee Miller - either one!)
@mel - Horta culture. <smirk> extra sprinkles for YOU!
The "tolerate" cake looks like it was written in mayo. YUK! On firemanred icing, Blech!
In honor of Valentine's Day, the entire Enterprise crew wore red. Never before had Starfleet suffered such horrendous casualties in such a short amount of time! RIP, previously unseen crewmembers.
Thank you, thank you, thank you....I just laughed, and I really needed that today!
This one is so funny! Love it!
Trekkies FTW!
Does anyone else think that Tellarite bears a strike resemblance to Sloth from The Goonies? No? Just me? Okay then.
@Swampgirl Inez- That. was. AMAZING!
Oh, good grief...I confess to extreme thick-headedness or perhaps just being very distracted (I do have a sickie at home today): it took me until this long (2:30 pm) to get "Horta-culture" and Significant Other Unit has a degree in it!
I always said he could fix my roses and I l'd fix the things that ate them...or pissed in them.
Totally unrelated but I just saw this on the NBC News site:
"Snow, it turns out, is on the ground somewhere in 49 of the 50 states. You win, Florida."
Made me think of Jen and john (thoJ) :-)
“You can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think.”
-Dorothy Parker
(I'm actually surprised; I could have sworn it was a Groucho Marx thing.)
@SaraCVT~ I love that show! Sheldon is...well...Sheldon!
=^~.~^=
@pikkewyntjie-Excellent!
@Carol: I think they were going for "Honey." At least I hope that's what it was supposed to be.
@mel: Horta culture. . . . . .thank you!
I could have sent the "I tolerate you" cake to a client earlier this week. That was after he made a request that would have required a HUGE warp in the space-time continuum to accomplish. Sheesh.
@Jodee and @krunchifrog: a snort and a smirk... life is good....thank you, thank you...and I'll take the sprinkles, thanks....
@TLC: you're welcome...!
@sending: Actually, Sheldon is NOT just "well...Sheldon". Sheldon is the best performance of an adult high-functioning autistic (what is usually called "Asperger's") I have ever seen, producers' protests to the contrary. Even Jim Parsons himself says Sheldon could not show more signs of it if he tried, and in the show they dance with his mental condition, having his mother say things like, "He's not crazy, I had him tested...but I wish I had taken him to that specialist in Houston."
Sheldon is my daughter, Olivia, who IS diagnosed with HFA (formerly Asperger's), and even said, "This is my spot," before he did. Like him, she HAAATTTEES change, discourages touch, doesn't really get the empathy thing, can be stultifyingly obnoxious in social situations because she doesn't remember right off the bat that other people are PEOPLE and have feelings, needs a sarcasm sign (she loves that idea). Like him, she is hugely bright, reads WAY above her age, is incredibly logical, and likes Doctor Who, Star Trek, and most sci fi. She could use her powers for evil if you could convince why she should get up off the couch and stop listening to Katy Perry. She is still a tween girl. Just an odd one, like her mother.
And every other one out there. And if anybody else knows a HFA (formerly Asperger's) kid or adult, they know Sheldon. He's not someone they made up. He's someone they knew.
I am afraid to even picture a deck over run with farting tribbles lol. And now I bet I have nightmares starring that creepy cupid CCC blech! Ah well the laughs were worth it!
Point of order: I think the Tellarite actually looks more like a Pakled.
Yes I am a complete nerd, why do you ask?
I find it hilarious that I read this not long after watching a couple of episodes of TNG. :P
I really laughed out loud! the bit about farting tribbles?? LOL
Ah, Star Trek, my all-time favourite as a teenager! So glad it's the original. Really took my mind off the rising flood waters here in Winchester, UK. Wish I was in space!
"Icing without picks or rings." I'm not sure how that makes me feel.
@SaraCVT: glad you found Horta culture, but more importantly, thank you for your information/personal story about HFA. I'm not real familiar with this, so I appreciate the insight. I don't know if you're familiar with the TV show "Boston Legal," now off the air, but one of the cast (actor Christian Clemenson) portrayed a man with HFA, Jerry "Hands" Espenson. The world is funny -- sometimes I think we're all different, and yet all the same. Thank you again for shedding light.
Fascinating.
Hahaha ohhh myyyy