Monday
Dec222014
These Santa Cakes Are Holiday Nightmare Fuel
December 22, 2014 You better watch out
;)
You better not cry
;)
Better not pout
;)
I'm telling you why!
;)
Ahem.
He sees you when you're sleeping!
;)
He knows when you're awake
;)
He knows if you've been bad or good
;)
So be good
or he might just murder you!
;)
Oh!
You better watch out
You better not cry!
;)
(He'll hear you)
You better not pout
I'm telling you why
;)
;)
Thanks to Mark, Carissa B., Michelle H., Leah S., Eloise C., Vicki L., Christine K., Moe L., & Kristin B. for inspiring us to board up the fireplace come Christmas Eve.
*****
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Reader Comments (39)
WHICH town??? I'm just curious! That's all! I'm NOT afraid, of course. No, NOooo.... Not ME. =^O.O^=
Psycho-Claus is comin' to town!! Happy Hole Days, everyone!
FIRST!
I'm first AND this is my first comment ever!
I love cake wrecks, thanks so much jen and john (thoj)!
That song has creeped me out since I was a little kid. We call it Santa Stalker.
I'm thinking that the second cake is an albino Wookie!
My brother's nephew is apparently so afraid of Santa coming into his house while he's asleep that last Christmas he lay awake in bed, terrified, until 4:00 am or so. I don't think we should show him these cakes . . .
#4 is not a wreck at all, it is a truly excellent rendering of john(thoJ)'s comic stick-figure in frosted-cookie form. With a Santa hat.
AaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhAaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh *deep breath* AaaaaaaaAAaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh And so forth.
Wow, it's pretty bad when a ccc (ptooey!) (cake #6) is the best-crafted of the lot!
What the HELL is going on in that third-to-last cake? It looks like violently dominant Santa has the other two chained up to something in the core of the cake!!
Auuuuggghhhh D:
o_0
We Jewish kids didn't realize just how good we had it, back in the day...
Yesterday I was cruising the Fred Meyer bakery section to see if I could find any festive wrecks for you. But nothing terrible caught my eye. Even the CCCs were few in number and had relatively normal levels of icing. The mini-sheet cake "wrapped packages" were downright cute. (And the fruitcakes were hidden in a remote corner where they couldn't jump out and scare anyone.) Oh, well. Perhaps in 2015...
A female Santa! Or is that Mrs Claus?
You know when it is sooooo cold outside, but you have to be outside, and the wind is blowing, and darn it your nose starts running (don't you hate that?) and you can't stop and search for a tissue because that would mean taking your hand out of your pocket, taking your glove off, searching in pockets and/or purse for a tissue.... and your hand would freeze and fall off before you found one? So you just let it run, hoping no one will notice? And then, because it's so cold, the snot freezes?
Yeah. Now we've seen that in frosting. Yech.
My youngest has always been terrified of Santa. I'm not showing her this post. Dude, I'M a little afraid now! O.O
Our office Christmas party is this afternoon. That means this day will end with booze! WOOHOO!!!
oh. my. goodness. It's all in the EYES!!!
Too much Star Wars on the brain! The first one had C3POeyes, the second one looked like an albino Wookiee, the next an albino Ewok, from there it was Wookiees and Ewoks all the way down to the Jedis.
#2 has eyes that remind me of the "evil Frosty"If in the movie "Christmas with the Kranks". Free Santa! Free Santa!
My husband just screamed: that's not Santa, that's a bloody grumpy cat!!
LOL
Deck the halls with Santa cake wrecks
falalalala lala lala
looks like Santa's been in a sleigh wreck
falalala lala lala
Now we all are really freaked out
falala lalala la la la
Cue the comments and the shout outs
falalalala lala la la!
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
I think #4 the big cookie cake is cute. I'm not saying it looks like Santa. I'm just saying it is cute.
I think all of these Santas will be watching the movie Big Eyes this weekend. At least, I'm hopeful! These really are all very "interesting."
Jolly old elf, or CIA spook.
Cake #1 has the eyes of Geoff Petersen from The Late Late Show w/Craig Ferguson (R.I.P.)
Cake #8 isn't Santa...it's Papa Smurf.
Did the baker of the seventh cake mix up Christmas and Good Friday?! Those Santas along the sides of the cake look like they've been crucified.
I actually like the piping on the second one, how the beard and eyebrows are in long strokes but the hair and sideburns are in dots. If it wasn't for his cold, dead eyes...
#3 looks like Christmas Grumpy Cat!
Sooooo creepy 😳
seriously have these guys ever seen Santa?
Wait a minute... Facebook (thanks to all those fitbit-type things) sees you when you're sleeping, knows when you're awake and (thanks to abundant over-sharing) knows if you've been bad or good...
Ergo, Facebook is Santa.
Ergo, Facebook is coming to get us...?
Can't sleep Santa will get me,
Can't sleep Santa will get me,
Can't sleep Santa will get ........
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
@SaraV: Oh, no! I hadn't even known that about Geoff Petersen from Craig Ferguson!!! I was watching it every night for almost forever, but had been missing it off and on, lately (falling asleep). I loved those two---also, no more Secretariat?!? What next! :-(
Pouty Santa is all whatevs.
Lol wow. If I were a kid I would definitely hide from these santas. Or just block the chimney and hope he can't get in and eat me. Either way these cakes are perfect for horror movies lol.
No. 2 is a Bigfoot Santa.
Say what you like, number three is kind of cute.
Santa sounds like a deranged stalker
Nice ordering of the photos here, Jen. The first one is just weird enough to hint at what we're in store for, as the pictures progress from bizarre to creepy, then to out-right disturbing. By the end of the post, we find we've come full-circle, as our facial expressions match that of the first Santa cake. An expertly crafted journey of holiday-cake-wreck hilarity/horror!
Ha! My 12 year old son came up to me a couple weeks ago; "Mom, that Christmas song is disturbing."
"Which one?"
"The one about Santa coming to town. Listen to it. Santa's a stalker!"
These wrecks would suggest he's right.
Here come Santa wrecks, here come Santa wrecks
Right down the bakery lane
He's got a bag that's filled with fear
For girls and boys again
Hear those registers jingle-jangle
Oh what a piteous sight
So jump in bed and cover your head
'Cause Santa wrecks come tonight!
Anyone else noticed the first one is a heart shaped pan upside down?