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What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
- Jen
December 1, 2014;)
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Reader Comments (57)
You left out the weeping. The dead ducks made me weep...
Me- *chortling at post this am*
Husband- *coming up stairs* What is that??
Me- *scrolls to giant black phallus*
Husband- o.O
*long pause*
Husband- Oh, it's a butterfly
Me- *sigh*
Well it's no damn wonder Jen never wants to leave the house. I thought I had seen it all on here but dead stuffed ducks take the cake.
I'm going to need therapy after that last one. Please put it on the ducks' bill.
I can only imagine what you see
Wait. Waaaaiiiiit. Actual dead animals on an actual cake that actual people are going to actually eat? WHY IS THIS A THING.
The fifth cartoon made me laugh aloud. Thanks for the nice beginning to a Monday.
The stick man's response to the Giant Pink Baby was EXACTLY the same as mine, as was his reaction to the deceased ducks.
Well, that certainly elevates the term "dead duck" to a whole new level of horrific. As does the giant pink baby.
Dead animals on a cake. Just. . . . . no.
Is that an edible icing of a photo of the Clue game board with the real game pieces on the actual cake? Or were the murder weapons on the game board when the photo was taken? Because from this angle it's difficult to tell.
Not the first time we've seen dead creatures on a cake here:
http://www.cakewrecks.com/home/2014/5/19/please-tell-me-those-are-dead-squirrels.html
It is a rare treat when we get to see John(thoj)'s cartoons. Love them!
Now, while the dead sweet baby ducklings in fancy hats (and a pink-and-white candy cane?) are indeed horrifying, what I can't figure out is why anyone would create a cake of a retired lunch lady and shove a pacifier in her mouth. For goodness sake lady, put on some pants!
Not just dead ducks, dead BABY ducks. Somehow, that makes it much, much worse. Dead baby ducks on a cake....I'm going to make that a phrase. Whenever something seems horrifyingly ridiculous I'll say, "Oh, dead baby ducks on a cake." Feel free to use it yourself, too.
Nopenopenopenopenope
I thought the giant pink thing was Divine (the actor) until I saw the pacifier. Took me a second to figure out that was supposed to be a baby. Or maybe it IS Divine with a pacifier.
As for that last cake: you can dress dead ducks up in perky little hats with canes and flowers and froufrou, but you still have dead ducks on your dessert.
Of course this reminds me of the classic Marx Brothers' movie "The Cocoanuts"--why a duck, indeed.
http://www.marx-brothers.org/whyaduck/info/movies/scenes/whyaduck.htm
You've captured it perfectly...I've made all of those expressions..... And that baby! It took me a while to realize that that wasn't a ring through her front tooth....
And on a side note, when I was a kid, at Easter you could buy dead, stuffed, baby chicks for use as decorations. They were often put in Easter baskets along with the candy.
That last cake makes me think of The Bloggess. It would be right up her alley. XD
LOL I did not see a butterfly. I saw a "hot dog" in a "bun" with ketchup, mustard, and relish. Though, I was wondering why a hot dog would be shaped that way. I'm still wondering how a butterfly is shaped that way. Is this a psychology test?
Wow! Thanks for the laughs!
Real…dead… ?!?!?!?
Oh, the humanity.
Llama llama llama llama llama llama DUCK!
Well at least they didn't nail them to the perch...
@ Minda, You took the word right out of my mouth!!! Who in their right mind would taxidermize (it's a word, really) baby ducks in the first place? After that the decision to put them on a cake is all down hill from there.
"Oh dead baby ducks on a cake!"
Only a Oregon State University Beavers fan would love the dead duckling cake (Reminds them of their much hated cross state rivals the University of Oregon Ducks).
Taxidermists' convention? Wedding cake for hunters? Why would you??
Huzzah! CakeWrecks to start my Monday.
#1 *chuckle* okay
#2 "sigh" of course.
#3 "is that a powder puff? Or a small...." gives up
#4 ACK!!!!!!
#5 no,no,no,no,no (fetal position and rocks back and forth for several hours)
Dead baby ducks are the most appetizing of all dead baby water fowl...
The Clue cake isn't so bad, tho I don't know what the upper center object is. Only the label below was halfway wrecky.
Are you sure there's a cake under those ducks? It looks like a hat to me.
If the taxidermic cake is truly the work of a "professional" baker, a call to the local Department of Health would seem to be in order because the idea of eating anything that came out of that kitchen is horrific.
And john (the hubby of Jen), you captured my expression perfectly in the next to last cartoon.
OK, I first thought the baby had pink pants around her ankles. Which was beyond tasteless and utterly incredible. Now that I see that they're shoes-like things, she's still horrible. Horrible.
John (thoj), could you think about illustrating a tag-along book for Cake Wrecks? Maybe call it "Malapropisms, Minions, and Mayhem: Behind the Scenes at CakeWrecks." So. Funny!
Chuckling, snorting and laughing out loud until...that.Last. CAKE. Gaaahh! Who in their right mind? Okay, everyone has already said what ran through my mind. Now, where's that eye bleach?
@ mel: Yes... yes you could. I also remember "Dime stores" that sold live baby chicks that were kept under heat lamps. We had a neighbor who had one and kept it as a pet long after it grew into an actual hen! My brother, sister, and I each had a little taxidermied baby DUCK at Easter time one year when we were really young. (I think this was in the mid-50s.) The feet were wired onto a piece of cardboard. I don't remember being upset about them, but I was too young to see past the "cute-fuzzies". It seems such an odd thing, now.
I think if Yoda had singing baby ducks, I'd call them Yodalings.
Dead ducks, dead squirrels, headless baby butts...is it just me, or is it always Halloween in Wreckyland?
Minda, yes. "Oh, dear dead baby ducks on a cake." Much better than taking the Lord's name in vain, no matter how you slice it!
Are those dead ducks on top of an Easter cake or a wedding cake???
I laughed so hard at Stick Man's reaction to #4. XD Then I saw the dead baby ducks. I may never laugh again.
Oh Dead Baby Ducks on a Cake those were some terrible cakes ( I'm not sure I'll use this as much as "What the Frosting?" But it's a new classic :) well done. And thoJ I made that exact face at the standing pink baby, no good sir, no good, but a fantastic post:)
How nice. A Koozie for a real doozie. Well, it IS winter.
I wouldn't think twice about presenting my Mom with that Clue cake, so long as the unnecessary second line was left out. Sure, the lettering's not fantastic, but it's a cool idea. My Mom, FTR, loves that game and is a huge Mystery fan.
The Pink Plaster Baby would make a dynamite lawn ornament. Except I'd surround her with Pink Flamingos. Also, I'd ditch the pacifier in favor of a Duchamp mustache. Oh, and thanks to Bea for connecting me to the dead squirrel cake. That made my day, because as an avid gardener I hate squirrels with a passion.
1. I don't think the baker had a clue. (And @Classic Steve right... there is an extra choking hazard on that cake, beyond the six weapons. I see a wizard... any other guesses?)
2. Um. Yeah. A butterfly. *snort*
3, Is that a tribble snuggling up to a baked potato?
4. Eep!
5. Gaaaaaahhhh!!!
The stickman mirrored my expressions perfectly! =-)
I made the exact faces mister stick-man made. Well done!
Wait a minute. Is that TAXIDERMY?! WTF?!
Dead ducks? Are you freakin' kiddin' me? It's late, I'm gullible. Check back tomorrow.
I'm telling you, we need a like button on comments!
The stick man's expression matched mine exactly with the last cake!
Well this post sums up how I react to most of the wreckerators lovely creations. As for the dead ducks.. there are no emotes strong enough for how I reacted to that lol. Oh man.. gross.
The first time Cake Wrecks has made me feel deeply saddened. Disgusted, sometimes. Amused, often. But I never expected sadness here.
SWEETBABYJESUSDEADBABYDUCKSONACAKE
I also had one of those ducklings at Eastertide. No need to waste sympathy on them, they were probably destined to be killed anyway. If they had not been sent to the taxidermist, they might have ended up as raptor food. This happens with male chicks all the time - useless mouths are eliminated in the poultry business. So despite the cute bonnet, it was probably a male duckling in each case.
As for hygiene concerns, the ducklings are separated from the cake by stands and a layer of tulle - except I fail to see the cake. Is this someone's idea for an April wedding cake topper?
Monster toddler was the cake that got me.
I thought the little dead baby was the most disturbing. Seemed like instead of reposing, it was decomposing. Some people have a thing about dressing up taxidermied animals and selling them as "cute" knick knacks. I guess it was just a matter of time before they ended up on a (GACK) cake. I thought the silk flowers were also off-putting. They looked like ones that had been collecting dust (and other stuff) in an old lady's bathroom for years. Maybe the cake was not meant to be eaten? Like those repulsive doll-in-a-gown cakes that people would save for years? O Tackiness, your name is Legion.