Monday
Oct062014
8 Bakers Failing At Ridiculously Simple Tasks
October 6, 2014 You had one job, bakers:
;)
ONE JOB.
;)
::sigh::
;)
[head in hands]
;)
My eyes!
I'm always hearing how cakes should come with spell check. Um, guys?
;)
This one did.
Q: How easy is it when all you have to do is pipe a little path for Strawberry Shortcake to stand on?
A: Apparently not easy enough.
;)
o.0
I don't know why, but this one made me laugh like an unhinged maniac:
;)
"Almost... there... almoooost... AW SCREW IT."
Then I found this one:
;)
"JUST SCREW IT."
My life, it is now complete.
Thanks to a Melissa H., Rae, Raynn, Julia K, Rebecca H., Christi O., Mary A., & Reginia B. for the borderline insanity.
*****
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Reader Comments (51)
Do you think it's easy to pipe "Happy Birthday Kelly" upside down??
In script no less?
And spelled correctly?
Apology accepted..................
Sung to "Beat It"
They told her, "Don't forget to flip the one, dear."
Don't want to put Hulk flotsam and Woody too near.
You flipped the minion, guys, and the skull ring eyes are weird
So screw it, just screw it.
Spelled Webelo right, but screwed congrats up, man
Before you pipe a poo path better have a plan
I know borders are tough, screw it, do what you can
Just screw it, 'cause your work is so bad
Just screw it, screw it, screw it, screw it
No one looks at cake, they eat it
Sure it looks funky, you're not too bright
It doesn't matter if it's a fright
Just Screw It, Screw It
Just Screw It, Screw It
Just Screw It, Screw It
Just Screw It, Screw It
But it's hard to hold a piping bag steady when you're on the fourth vodka of the morning...
Congtarulations, Woody! You are now an Avenger!!!
"There's a snake in my boot! AAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!" [rips boot off, throws it through a concrete wall, followed by a tanker truck filled with gasoline with explodes upon impact] "Snakes make me angry!!!"
Congtarulations to the Boy Scout wreckerator for finding a whole new way to spell congratulations incorrectly. That was quite a feat.
And on the Strawberry Shortcake art, I'm going back to, "You know they see that, right? Surely they see that!"
I've been rolling "congtarulations" around in my mouth for the way it sounds. There's something about it I like. It's like... King King got stuck in roofing tar.
In all fairness, Eldest would LOVE that fourth one. She's totally into Monster High (the bow-betopped skull is its symbol; she has barrettes just like that) and Halloween is her favorite holiday. In fact, I am crocheting her a black-and-orange blanket right now, and she is the only person I know who has a jack-o-lantern on her Christmas tree ornament.
Sometimes it's not the insanity of the decorator, but of the decorat-ee (hey! I made a word today; I feel so important!)
Cake 1: Nervous, novice numbers in the military: “Number One: About-face!”
Cake 2: Woody’s Dream….
Cake 3: Oh, Kelly! You topsy-turvy lass!
Cake 4: Lost lines from the Bard:
O, dear Juliet. I peer into thine eyes
To seek the solace of your love,
Yet all I see is the visage of dead kitty cats,
Their skulls mocking my quest.
Doest thou love me not?
Then fie upon you!
No, yet better, pie upon you!
Cake 5: Special cake given to the Webelos on the occasion of their blacktopping the pack’s camp driveway.
Cake 6: Strawberry Shortcake begins journaling: Dear Diarrhea….
Cake 7: : Turn this cake a quarter turn to the right, so that little dangling part is at the top, and you’ll see this cake celebrates the oft overlooked holiday, National Duodenum Day. An unsung hero of the digestive system, this unacknowledged organ welcomes partially digested food along with “chemical secretions from the pancreas, liver and gallbladder” before sending all that glop into the small intestines! Thanks, duodenum, for helping out when I don’t chew 32 times!
Cake 8: And, from the other end of the digestive system, comes this! (The massive amount of sprinkles indicates, as you know from our earlier review of birthday cakes, that this is from a very young child….)
The next-to-last cookie thingy reminds me of biology class. We had to make diagrams of gross stuff! One was, for instance, the loops, twists and turns that could represent a "Digestive System", see? Only, it doesn't appear to be a very well-organized one. ("ORGANized"...?Get it?) Although... it could be part of an English/punctuation/Biology lesson; therein (or out) demonstrating the vas deferens between a colon and a semicolon. Moving along-- that last one is our "visual" to go along with the lecture. Because *every*thing's better with sprinkles.
=^-.-^=
Um, I think the second to last one is supposed to be a 'G'. It's just been photographed upside down. I suspect this mostly because it is UGA red.
Congtarulations is my new favourite.
My name... is Oedipus Tex... you may have heard of my brother Rex... etc, etc, until the part of the "opera" that goes, "My EYES! My EYES! What am I gonna do for EYES!" Couldn't help thinking of that and laughing at the "eyes" post.
Lulz@sharyn XD the cakes are making me do a major headdesk about now....
Strawberry Shortcake leaving a trail of blood? I hope that's blood.
@SaraCVT- I have a jack-o-lantern on my Christmas tree! Maybe we're related!!
@mel; While other people instruct us in the importance of the confusion of string theory-I think it has something to do with kittens- You give us an education on Sprinkles: Practical Application and Impracticable Theory. I never knew I would get an education about Sprinkles....but can I USE it in the REAL world? OF COURSE, who doesn't use cake in the real world? Who? Strawberry Shortcake journalling....I lost it.
@ Sharyn: how you do it I will never know, but keep doing it...because it's AWESOME!
Congtarulations is way more fun....you can add an accent- try Southern -funny; how about British-it sounds like a socialite being flippant; Jamaican- sounds like the name of a new song....carry on
@FM: I'll be laughing about that all day at work. Love it!
*is at work and trying to look like she's doing something important, so just holds up a sign that says "BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHA *slides off chair laughing*"*
Anyone else read "Congtarulations" in Yosemite Sam's voice? Just me? Ok, then. :)
Oh dear @windward, you had to come up with a logical explanation there :( You may be correct.
Poor Strawberry needs some Pepto for that diarrhea trail that she is leaving behind.
You know, after you look at all of them, the first one doesn't look so bad.
This just in: New Boy Scout motto "Bee Perpaired"
Too many strawberries , Shortcake .
Strawberry Shortcake ate too much shortcake!
Strawberry Sh*tcake
Not to burst your maniacal laughter bubble, but the "Oh screwit" cookie second to last had its icing slide all over the place and off the "cookie". You can see a sad dislocated frosting swirl peeping from next to the cookie, and (assumingly digestible) sparkles where it had been.
It is an ugly cookie either way.
I think the one with the red frosting drizzled on the cookie is intentional. It looks like it could be a G.
The Peculiar Purple Pieman has finally exacted his revenge on Strawberry Shortcake, stuffing Custard the Calico Cat into the sewer system, causing foul effluent to spill out into the pristine landscape of Strawberryland.
Strawberry Shartcake?
Very entertaining; I had no idea this technology was possible! I love ALL the Cake Wrecks postings, and love the weekly Sunday Sweets, too. Thanks for keeping this up.
Have to admit I am mildly dyslexic. I stared at that first cake for 30 maybe 45 seconds before I finally snapped to what was wrong. It's a cake, it's decorated, it has an unreadable word on it, so what's up? Oh, SIDEWAYS!
We're # ENO! We're # ENO!
Shame on you, laughing a the almost finished red squiggly line decorated cookie! Perhaps the decowrecker had a seizure or a heart attack or was stung by a bee whilst decowrecking, and was unable to complete the 'pattern'? Or maybe it was just quittin' time?
@Sharyn
You are my new favorite person. ROFL
Two words.....ÜBER FACEPALM
@ Kathy - I love the term decowrecking! I shall endeavour to use it at least once in conversation this week :)
@VaBeach alemap; well, sure, CW is all about fun, but that doesn't mean we can't learn something now and then...and this is the perfect place to use my imaginary knowledge...and yes, I believe string theory is closely related to and may involve kittens, but it is not the cat's meow...that would be string cheese theory....and I am glad your rotor cuff allowed you a little typing time...
Is there really a bare foot next to the red squiggly cookie/cake?
Which is worse -- the cake is on the floor, or the foot is on the table?
Just Gross!!
Windward, you are the ultimate optimist
@Kim, not until you said that. But now I can't get it out of my head!
Congtarulations=the opposite of tarnation.
Well now I won't look at Strawberry Shortcake the same way ever again. Another childhood cartoon ruined by wreckerators lmao. Wow hand that poor girl some Pepto before she kills the neighbors. Ick and I still can't stop laughing.
so the second to last wreck looks like they held it under the meat grinder while it was running...
Cake eno is decorated somewhat nicely. Too bad the decowrecker so intent on the decorating and wasn't paying attention to directions. Also, is that a tiny foot at 7 o'clock on the upended G cake?
I like the way the air bubble enhances the minion's hat on Kelly's cake: it's a feature, not a bug. Oh, wait, it's a minion, not a bug. :p
Congtarulations on Falker Satherhood?
I don't know much about string theory, but when someone tells me Up, Down, Sideways and Widdershins are "flavours", the theory is definitely the province of a taste-centric animal, albeit one with some odd concepts of 'taste'. Kitten seems much more likely than wreckerator, at any rate. I assume String Theory was invented by Schroedinger's cat, during its long wait inside the box, surrounded by quantums and uncertainty. Terry Pratchett suggested that Schroedinger's cat has used its ability to negotiate space/time to become its own (and everyone else's) grandfather, leading to the I-swear-I-put-that-cat-out-how-did-it-get-in-THERE phenomenon. (See The Unadulterated Cat.)
That second-to-last one reminds me of that scene near the end of Braveheart. You know the one. You're welcome!
@mel ~snickering~ Loved the Bard, and Dear Diarrhea! LOL!
Ok........ Geez. These people should be fired! Wait, no they shouldn't. Otherwise, we wouldn't be able to see these "wonderfully" "Well made" cakes.
Five... just WHY!!!!!!