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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct312014

More Halloween Madness

I think the sugar-high is really starting to kick in, you guys.

You can almost hear the insane giggling from behind the counter, am I right?

 

John thinks these are supposed to be maggots:

I think it's time to scroll down quickly and skip lunch.

 

Then there's this:

 

And this:

I've stared at that cookie for ages. Still have no idea what the baker was thinking.

 

Here's a fun party game:

CAPTION THIS:

I would, but there are children present.

 

Look, I'm not saying "Ouija" is the easiest word to spell, but you'd think they'd at least get it right on the second try:

And for those wondering what possessed [snerk] a bakery to make a Ouija Board display cookie in the first place: I'm not sure, but the fact that they added a "HELP" on the front is less than reassuring.
o.0 Someone wanna go check on them?

("Bring me an old priest, a young priest, a half gallon of milk, and some paper plates!")

 

And finally, why it must suck to have a Halloween birthday:

Remember, Kailey, you've got your whoooole life ahead of you.
Now, who wants a slice of grave stone?!

 

Thanks to Patty A., Holly N., Melissa H., Victoria F., Jennifer W., Hollie K., & Nicole P. for reminding us to wReck It Properly.

*****

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Reader Comments (54)

Trick or Treat Jen and John (I think I know which you guys will pick and I'm with you!)...
The Party Game "Caption This" okay how about:
"oh brother! Some days you're the Bird and others you're the newly washed car". (That giant blob of poo on his head, sure looks like this Halloween, he's the newly washed car.)

There are other ways to put, it and I don't want to be a party pooper, or drop it on any other versions other Wreckaholics may come up with but I can't wait to see 'em!
Happy Pooooo day, Uh, eh, I mean BOOOO day everyone!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCookiemama

That cookie is clearly an off-center cyclops with one tooth. Duh.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterlizzie

"Son, you got a poopy on your head." (An oldie, but one of my favorites.)

Look how very close they came to spelling ouija correctly backwards. Surely that deserves at least partial credit.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAngelaS

Now I know what that dog was doing rummaging in my pumpkin patch...

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

Party caption: There was a little girl who had a little curl right in the middle of her....oops!

Rectangular mystery cookie is obviously a coffin with a bat flying over it. Not difficult at all!

And you can reuse cake #1 for the Christmas holiday board, since it looks vaguely Santaesque (that really is a word!)

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

A Halloween treat…I read about this book last night: “As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of ‘The Princess Bride,’” written by Cary Elwes. And, you can click on the Amazon link on this site and order it now!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

5th cake down:
"Awww dang it! They gave me a poo head again!"

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen S

Why basketball cakes hate Halloween.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I suppose you could refer to it as a "dumpkin."

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLian

My little brother had a Halloween birthday, and his cakes were always great - not only cool scary images on the top, but the cake contained little charms wrapped in waxed paper, baked into the cake. This was back in the 1950s. I was very envious of his special cakes.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGarance

Really bakers??? You can't even make mutants look right???

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

oooh,Caption This game! Ok:
Gerald was sad he didn't win - until he realized he hadn't been bobbing for apples.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGingerSnap

So, *mart is employing 5-year-olds in the bakery now? Maybe unions are a good thing.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterR3Test

Probably the AjiouOuija board was because of the horror film that's out right now. Doesn't make the cake any better. Or the movie, for that matter.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Maybe the Ouija board was to celebrate the movie? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_T1Jj1inE8M
But yeah- spelling it backwards is either a lame way to avoid copyrighting fines, or proof that what works in bakeries is inhuman.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPamtha

Second wreck....They are under the ground, Bert.....they are under.....the....ground!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHeloise

You SO know that there are cupcake liners hiding underneath all that frosting on the maggots one.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commentercatlaugh

mel -This video is from Cary Elwes' book tour and the little girl is my niece! She's a big Princess Bride fan, too!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hDhVH6RBJjk

As for the "cakes." Who doesn't love the Haunted Mansion at Disney World/Land/Place:

When the baker shrieks
At the maggot horde
Spooks like to read the AJIOU board
Mummy corns materialize
Poop covered pumpkins love to socialize

Now don’t close your eyes
That would be screwy
You’ll still see ccc (patooie!)
Dressed in an eight legg’d disguise
Half baked cookies terrorize
Poop covered pumpkins love to socialize

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

What a shame on the last cake! As a cupcake cake, it's definitely above average quality. The shiny blak tree, the tomestone with clean-cut edge, even the writing is not bad! Everything would have been perfect, if only it's not a birthday cake...

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTAO

Re: #4, the tray of cookies: I don't know about the bottom one, but the cookie on the left looks more like Barney Rubble than a sideways bat.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDelibird

On a serious note...never mind! I'll slink away quietly.

About the cookies... I'm pretty sure the wreckerator brought her 2-year-old to work that day, and said "Here's a nice job for you, sweetie!" What could go wrong?

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJo

Actually my birthday in on the 30th and I looooooove Halloween cakes for my birthday!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterValerie

The Ouija board is obviously taken from the online version. And I guess "Contact Us" would be redundant.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLinda

5th cake caption:

Some days, it just doesn't pay to be a basketball in a pumpkin patch.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

Clearly that cake is a sh--head cake.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterstagemom

My birthday is on Christmas. I'd much rather have a Halloween birthday!! So much more fun and unpredictable!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

My grandson turned nine today and I'm making an M&M cake for him. I dislike putting other holidays on birthday cakes. Then you are celebrating the holiday, not the birthday.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterallegra

Celebrating my 35th Halloween birthday today. Absolutely no better day to be born. I'd love that birthday cake! As a kid, I had costume parties and witch cakes. I bet Kailey loves it, too. Happy birthday, Kailey. Halloween birthdays rock!

And the pumpkin is worried about the poo on his head. Poor pumpkin. :)

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHalloween baby

<I>Ouija</I> is the title of a 2014 horror film. The poster for the film shows an ouija board with a lump of glass on it instead of the usual inverted tumbler:
http://goo.gl/74BPum

The image of the word 'OUIJA' is reversed by the glass, so it appears backwards. That is what the decorator was feebly trying to convey.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTachybaptus

Am I the only one who saw Mr. Yuk on that third cake? lol

Also, I tried to read that Ouija cake outloud, then laughed and said gesundheit. lol ("Ajiou!")

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKatie J.

I've got a caption for the poo-headed pumpkin!

Turn that frown upside down and you've still got... well... A frown! Happy Halloween!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

Okay, the caption one...I don't have a caption per se, but, the SF Giants just won the World Series (kermit flail) YAAAAYYY...sorry, my Northern Cali girl comes out at times like that...and it looks to me like a Giants Baseball...ie -it's orange and black...so maybe a KC fan decided to put poo on the Giants ball because...well, they are p'ooed (snort) about losing the World Series. I know, it's a reach, but that's what it looks like to me.

Okay, now for No. 4...the bakers had an OUTLINE to follow...if they would have followed the outline of the bat cookies...why couldn't they...how did...what were they thi...(face palm & sigh)...and I have NO clue why there is a heart and a suitcase/ briefcase on a big orange cookie...

They DID get the number of legs right on the thing that's supposed to be a creepy green spider...unless it was supposed to be a creepy green bug, then...another FAIL...

As for all the rest...<heavy sigh>

Happy Hauntings all!!!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

I didn't even have to change a thing from Pink's song (except for censoring) for the caption:

"Just when I think it can't get worse, I've had a [poop] day (Yeah!)."

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Celebrating my 39th birthday today and my baby girl's 8th birthday we love Halloween cakes we get pumpkins or bats this year a spider. My kids wanted to get black "over the hill" candles I said no they are Halloween candles!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

​The "WHITE CUPCAKES FOR 2 WITH ICING" (the maggots) must have been in the box for quite some time, it seems to me. Look! They had a BABY! I don't blame them for trying to hide it underneath the label sticker; this is their "bonding" time. [Of course, once Management hears about this, they'll raise the rent on their container. Kids can make an awful mess.] I wonder what the happy parents named the little bundle of ...er...
=^-.-^=

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

If that's the cake Kailey wanted, I think she and Wednesday Addams could be good friends if it weren't for the fact that they aren't the type to have friends.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

There is a children's book title "What is on My Head?". That about sums it up.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterkmoon

Speaking of children's books, the pumpkin would make a fabulous addition to that great classic, "Everyone Poops."

Some poop here or there--
Others do it on top of pumpkins.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLian

Caption: I am a PUMPKIN, not a baseball. Or basketball.

I wouLd take this cake to DeAngelo Hall, the running back for the Washington Redskins. He re-tore hos Achilles tendon when he . . . (Wait for it) . . . went into the kitchen to get some pizza. Pooh, indeed.

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@SuBee: too cute! Thanks for the link!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Another 5th cake caption - "OH MY GOSH... I'M A SQUASH!"

This post, like yesterday's - and well, pretty much all days at Cakewrecks - is a real treat. Happy Halloween, all!

October 31, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

#1: Someone TPed a giant candy corn?

#2: "KEPtain! He put CREAtures in our EARS!"

November 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Whew made it the whole day without seeing Pennywise the clown lol. And then came here and saw the Ouija board cookie and then laughed hysterically. Sheesh. Poor poopkinhead. Always happens on Halloween.

November 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

Those cakes in the second picture are mummies.

November 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterQue Sara Lee

CAPTION THIS: "Due to budget cuts, the Drama Department can only afford one mask on their logo.
Behold the new "Tragedy/Tragedy" mask! (The "beard" side is for when they attempt Shakespeare!)

November 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterEd

At first I thought the big green thing was The Count from Sesame St. Then I saw the legs sprouting out of his head and was like "OH! its a spider..?"

November 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKat

Heloise, I thought of "Tremors" also! Just hope they don't smell bad too.

November 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShawn

1. Never mix candy corn and Silly String.

2. Mummy worms?

3. Vampire blob!

4. One bat is carrying off a pumpkin; the other dropped his (why the face is messed up)

5. Eww. Just . . . eww.

6. "Goodbye help . . . we don't need you! We can finish this Ajiou board on our own!"

7. Could have been worse. My grandfather's birthday was on Halloween. Imagine getting this cake for an 87th birthday. "Happy Birthday, die soon!"

November 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterRoxy Random

The .... urm.... baby flies were too much. Yuck.

And I remember how easy it was to make spermy looking things when trying to pipe something different. I practiced a lot not to do that ever.

November 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterPaula Helm Murray

2. baker took them out too soon . Obviously they were meant to be butterflies when finished but now they will be sad maggots forever .

November 1, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

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