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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Friday
Oct172014

Friday Favs 10/17/14

Some of my favorite new submissions this week.

 

Guys, if you ever want a 3D sculpted cake like this:

 

...and your baker claims she can make a cupcake cake (patooie!) look just like it, DO NOT BELIEVE HER.

On the plus side, I hear hippo skin rugs are all the rage now in child therapy sessions.

 ***

 

They asked for a book cake of The Great Gatsby:

NAILED IT.

 ***

 

You know, when *I* was a kid they didn't have all these new-fangled flavored fillings:

 

***

 

"Ok, ma'am, your cake has room for three lines of text."

"Great! I'd like 'Mazel Tov' on the first line, and 'Sara Rose' on the second."

"And for the third line?"

"Oh, just leave that blank."

***

 

Apparently Jennifer K's husband never gets her anything for their anniversary, so for the big 10 she got him a cake. That said this:

I really shouldn't be finding this so funny, should I?

 ***

 

"Hey, guys, is 'give up' all one word?

Is there a dash?

How do you spell it, again?

Is this right?

How about now?

OH FORGET IT."

Mmmm, sweet irony.

 

Thanks to Disireah, Tonianne, Allie P., Deena M., & Anony M. for reminding us to never give up, NEVER SURRENDER.

*****

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Reader Comments (50)

When I see the name Sara Rose all I can think of is the movie "Drop Dead Gorgeous" with Kirsten Dunst and Mindy Sterling.

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSarcastic Curmudgeon

Do those "flowers" on the last cake look like Seymore from the Little Shop Of Horrors to you?

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Sung to "I Want a New Drug"

I want a new rug
That one makes my kid sick
One that looks like a water horse
Not a big splat of purple ick

I wanna just shrug
'Cause that cake hurts my head
And it just made Jonianne cry
Guess the baker is not well read.


Bag of cream makes me nervous
Wondering, "Wait. That's WHO?"
Sara Rose, why don't I draw a blank with you?
Don't be an A-hole, too.

I want to giv-up
Maybe I will
Guess the E cost too much
Or the baker's ill....

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

Hmmmmmm… Is the Little Shop Of Horrors the true identity of the Miscellaneous Bakery?

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

By Grapthar's hammer, the hippo needs to be revenged...

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

Those hippo comments are melting my heart! Love. And to think all my 4-year-old can think about for her Birthday is a Frozen cake. Guess I'll have to make two cakes. Although i doubt mine will actually come out looking like a hippo, Knowing me, it'll look more like a, um, rock? oh well.

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLaura

Shirley I think those are chocolate covered berries. The spouse cake is mean but soo funny XD. The CCC makes me wanna go patooie

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

That poor, poor hippo looks like it got run over by a steam roller. :(

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermiss_paper

Shirley, I think those flowers on the last one are actually chocolate dipped strawberries. Not that knowing what they are makes the cake look any better.

I'm off to watch Galaxy Quest.

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Friday Ramblings….

Poor sculpted hippo,
Thy grandeur mocked!
What is that flattened, hideous thing
That shocks my vision?
If only I could unCCC….


Some books, said Francis Bacon
Are to be tasted,
While others chewed or digested.
Let us now add
Regurgitated.


Conan, your misc bakery is ready.


Mazel tov
Sarah Rose
This is her special day.
And I know
I’ve one more line
For something else to say.
But there’s not much room,
And if I may be frank,
I’d like you really just to leave
The third line simply blank.


Censored Anniversary cake: Ah, the irony – is that a piece of toilet paper covering up an a$$hole….?


Baker: Giv-Up

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Oh, that is just not right...

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Okay, I laughed at the flattened hippo and I laughed really loud at the "Happy Anniversary" cake...It is official. I am a sick puppy.

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterNancy

I'm a little worried that the barbarian flavored cream filling is white. Just me?

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterKim

The Anniversary cake reminded me of the Bloggess post about getting Beyonce the giant metal chicken.
http://thebloggess.com/2011/06/and-thats-why-you-should-learn-to-pick-your-battles/

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterAnnette

Oy. Too excited about posting this am.

Ahem.


By Grabthar's hammer, Purple Hippo will be avenged.

Do I have to surrender my geek card? Because I never give up, and never surrender!

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterScaperMama

I laughed so hard at the barbarian flavored filling as well! Sharyn, I too thought the hippo looked like a rug, albeit a sad lioness skin rug. @Mel, I also laughed at "unCCC" and the Francis Bacon reimagining!! Love all of you guys!

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

It looks like Hungry Hungry hippo has been flattened by a severe case of anorexia.

On the last cake: maybe the Wreckerator got dostracted before they could finish piping the "c" part of the "e" in Give. Or maybe they're just clueless. I give up.

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Well, they had me at "BarBarian". It's just SO like something that my Dad would have said. He was always goofing around, saying things wrong on porpoise! ;-) As for all of the other specimens: Give them the benefit of the doubt, or a decent burial.
I'd pick the first, because you can always bury them AFTER you sample them. =^~.~^=

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

When I log on to this site, I like to play "Guess what Jen is thinking." I scroll down slowly, trying to guess what the wreck is going to be. So now I see a grainy image of a 3-D hippo, and I'm thinking, "Edible image! On a diagonal cut half sheet cake! With visible cardboard partially cover with frosting! What could be worse than that?" Sadly, THAT is worse than that.

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjackwire

Awww, @sendingtheclowns, my father would do the same thing! Here's to our dads!

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJodi

I would have had to buy the barbarian filling just to taste it.

That anniversary cake is gorgeous. Everything is spelled right and the flowers don't look questionable. Even A$$hole is spelled correctly, at least what we see of it. LOL

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterGinger

In our house we call them "Archie Bunker-isms" - and we use them a lot. If you're old (like me) and enjoyed All in the Family, you'll remember how Archie used to call the gynecologist the "groinecologist" - you know - logical stuff like that! Archie would have ordered BarBarian Cream in his cake, I'm sure! I'm just wondering about the significance of the spelling...it warranted TWO capital B's!? Now, I just gotta pick some of that up!

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLisaMH

@ Kim- OMG!!! Now THAT was so funny, I guffawed...quite LOUDLY!

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterVaBeach alemaP

the purple hippo cake made me think of lucy stomping the grapes - this time she got a hippo.

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterjane lewis

@Jodi: If this were "Cakebook", I'd give you a floury "thumbs up"! =^~.~^=

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

Because graduating owls was such a major theme in "The Great Gastsby."

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterpikkewyntjie

That hippo cake looks like it ate too many marbles. I guess it was hungry. :)

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSalina

We were once on safari in Kenya and we passed a hippo that had been dead for quite a while. It looked a lot like this one. I wonder if this one smells as bad...

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterElsalgal

*looks at flattened hippo CCC(patooie!)* "My father went the same way."

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJust Andrea

Oh! unCCC it is perfect. It joins What the Frosting? in my submissions to Webster, or at least the Urban Dictionary. I tell everybody that my cake wrecks friends are genius, and now I have examples, rather than the bark laugh and clapping that usually begins my rave about you guys.

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterCBushLite

Yeah, the cakes are bad, but I am laughing at the quotes from two of my favorite movies: Drop Dead Gorgeous, and Galaxy Quest. It is always nice to find others on the same wave length as me!

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJen

When I was in Sunday School (in high school) we always referred to them as Barbarian Cream donuts, even though we knew they were Bavarian Cream. We can blame the pastor's kids for that. :-P

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Gale

MMMMMMM Barbarian Cream! Sounds wild to me. LOL *shakes head*

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterLiz

ScaperMama, thanks for the Galaxy Quest reference. Made my day, and my favorite movie.

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterZeldabird

@Jodi: thanks for laughing...
@CBushLite: we're just a motley crew who love to laugh....

October 17, 2014 | Unregistered Commentermel

Oh man lol. That poor hippo. Mr. Bill got his revenge and flattened him. Ah wreckerators how I love you hehe.

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterArlene Marie

the 10th anniversary cake seems like it would be the lead-in to a divorce. of course that would lead to a divorce cake.

http://cakewrecks.squarespace.com/home/2009/8/29/ok-you-win-ill-post-the-divorce-cakes.html

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterarchersangel

Mmm... BarBarian Cream? For my BarBarian Torte-tured Hippo CCC? Why thank you!

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheExtraJen

Well, I finally watched Galaxy Quest, so at least I caught the reference. :)

What really gets me about Sara Rose's cake is it looks like the inscription was written twice: once in white and then on top of that in pink. So it's not like whoever was doing the cake had time to think about what she was writing or anything...

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterhyphen8

Yes, I knew the "flowers" were chocolate dipped strawberries, but it did not stop them from looking like Seymore.
And, I got the Galaxy Quest reference too. I just like thinking a little further outside the cake box.
I wonder what the barbarians from the Miscellaneous Bakery will come up with next week.

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

Not exactly sure why the "Mazel Tov Sara Rose Blank" is a Cake Wreck? Why is it hard to believe her last name is Blank...mine is.

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSteve Blank

I just have this irresistible image of a phone call:

"And that's how I want the cake to look."
"I'm not sure I can do that. Perhaps if you formed some sort of rudimentary lathe and brought it in..."
"A LATHE?!? IS THERE SOMEBODY ELSE THERE I CAN TALK TO?"

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

On the plus side, can you imagine how much frosting would be needed to make a cupcake cake look just like the 3D hippo?

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterJoel Polowin

Sadly, I had to read the comments on Facebook to find out what Barbarian Cream is. My little brain could not comprehend it.

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTricia L

Well, Blank is an actual last name. I went to school with several people with that name. So that cake may be legit.

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterG.G.B.

What worries me is that on the last cake it looks like the cake has been fixed, so giv-up is actually the correction.

October 18, 2014 | Unregistered Commenterseamonkeyz01

That first one is nicely well done, but what a hideous color icing.

October 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterDarlene

I had to look at that first sculpted hippo three times before I realized the front paw wasn't a beheaded grey teddy bear. =-P

I'm still laughing at all of these! =-)

October 19, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterSeabird

I know I'm super late in this post, my maiden name was Blank. No joke. Cake inscriptions were always a pleasure! lol

October 25, 2014 | Unregistered Commentersadiecate

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