TMI Celebrations
September 6, 2013 While I agree that no celebration is complete without cake, I also think some celebrations should maybe be a bit more private than others:
;)
Please tell me you invited the in-laws.
Ahhh, that sweet, sweet moment when your wife throws you a surprise Vasectomy Recovery party:
;)
I hear if you buy two they throw in the bag of frozen peas for free.
(OH YES I DID.)
;)
I looked it up. It really is a thing. So I have two questions: who are you getting this cake for, and how will that not end badly for you?
Of course, nothing will lead to a round of denials as much as this:
;)
C'mon. Does anyone ever admit to watching this show?
But for the ultimate "I-just-learned-something-I-never-wanted-to-know-about-you" dessert, we have this:
;)
So many puns, so few of them safe for work...
Let's all give a hand to Heather M., Alison K., Laura W., Helen J., & Nicole A. for today's wrecks.
****
Funny story about that last cake: it was commissioned by none other than Mr. Bill Murray during the filming of Moonrise Kingdom as a joke for one of the guys working on set. (Cameron was turning 21.) Nicole worked craft services for the movie, and was responsible for fetching the cake from a local bakery. She tells me Murray also insisted on taking Cameron out for his first drink, and was fantastic to the whole crew, and I am insanely jealous of all of them. :)
Reader Comments (50)
Oh, that last one is hilarious~ AND "to the point." "COMER ON"?! (I know, it says "Cameron." But my way is better and you know it.) =^-.-^=
Sung to "Getting to Know You"
Getting to know you
Getting to know all about you
Getting to like that
There were no drugs in your pee.
Getting to know you
Saying you got snipped
Precisely
To put it nicely
Vas-ec-to-my
Getting to know you
Getting to know that you're easy
Getting to find out
You've got a side chick or three
I hadn't noticed
Just how much you liked ol' Snooki
I'm learning WAY too much stuff about you
No. I won't shake hands with you.
Go. Away.
You made me have to look up 'side chick' - I may never forgive you!
The vasectomy cake does not surprise me. Some of the most private men I've known suddenly become very open about their personal issues when preparing for this surgery. My normally very conservative brother in law got chatty about it over Thanksgiving dinner. When I was teaching preschool one of the kid's dads created a very uncomfortable elevator ride for me. Maybe they want credit for doing this great thing for their family or perhaps it's how they deal with the nervousness or maybe they were just hinting for a cake...
HAH! My ex had so many side chicks it's a wonder he didn't turn into a rooster. ("Cockadoodledoo! Good riddance to you!) =^~.~^=
Thanks, Jen, now I know *just* what to order for my brother-in-law! LOL
Don't you think the "Congrats on the Vasectomy" cake may have been for the wife?
Better to have a surprise vasectomy-recovery PARTY than a surprise vasectomy. I would think, anyway. (Guys? Want to weigh in on that? No? )
=^-.-^= heh heh
@Caroline B;
So, what did you find out? Did you get the info you were looking for, or did you end up at KFC? (They have some yummy "sides".) =^~.-^=
Are those scissors in the second cake...or something more, um, graphic?
TMI indeed!
Sharyn, does Jen tip you off the night before so you can work on these songs? Another great melodic contribution, and always early in the day!
Well, so much for reading this blog before I'm fully awake! My brain quite happily told me that first cookie-cake said: Congratulations on passing your driving test....and was mildly confused because Jen had just said some things should remain private - I just assumed that cake was still to come...
I got really confused when I read Sharyn's amazing song....I had no clue why she was she was talking about passing a drug test. I went back and read the cakes again, and it all became clear.
Thank goodness it's Friday. I don't think my brain can handle another day in the work week.
I realize the thing on the "Vasectomy" wreck is supposed to be scissors.
It still looks to me like a couple of "little swimmers" in full mourning...
@bassgirl: Nope, I see the posts when they go up -- 7:00 here -- and have about a half hour to throw something together before I have to get ready to drive my son to school. I'm just really good at Googling keywords. There are some mornings when I look at the cakes and my first thought is, "Jen is trying to kill me." Generally, though, something just clicks.
AAAAaaaannnnnnd now I'll have @Sharyn's song stuck in my head all day. Thanks for that lady!
The last one made me snort. Luckily I'm not at the front desk this morning. O.O The back story makes it even more awesome!
In other news ~ Prayers/good thoughts are needed for my girl again. She's 400 miles from home and had to go to the hospital again yesterday for kidney problems. The doctors were less than helpful and sent her home because they couldn't find anything "wrong". So frustrated right now I want to scream!
The mental picture of Jen laughing maniacally while she puts a post together, thinking of the screwball she's throwing at Sharyn.
And this is what happens when you try to create a "waving" flag out of cupcakes. *ptooie* A cake in the shape of Connecticut with the words "Jersey Shore".
I had to look up "side chick" because I am not culturally relevant. :)
Irony, thy name is vasectomy cake decorated with li'l swimmers.
@bassgirl: I first saw something more graphic...and presumably uncomfortable. I've heard of a forked tongue, but...
RE: the last cake: Ahhh, finally a strange cake complete with back story. The fact that Mr. Bill Murray ordered it would have been all the back story needed, but the rest is quite nice, too.
@sendingtheclowns. I learnt it has nothing to do with KFC and everything to do with why I have an ex husband, although at the time I had a few choicer words to describe her! Happy days...
I watched about 10 minutes of Jersey Shore once. I turned it off after about 10 minutes when I actually started hearing my brain cells committing suicide.
@ bassgirl, and Just Andrea:
I'm pretty sure that the black thing is *representative* of "scissors"- even though it really looks more like something a 2-year-old might make out of something it found in his/her potty chair, and might actually be.
((ghaahhack)) =^>.<^=
The story on the last cake makes it that much more awesome. And I also had to look up side chick and wishing I hadn't. :\
@Jodee - fingers crossed for your daughter! So frustrating when doctors aren't seeing the same things you are.
@Sharyn - I wouldn't put it past Jen to rub her hands with glee just before she posts, but you do a fantastic job!
Have a great weekend everyone!
It's mildly amusing how there aren't any comments from the guys (so far, anyway) who sometimes stop by...not even a snippet! (heh heh) It's like I've always thought: the human race would be extinct if men had to have the babies. NO OFFENSE, guys! You do provide a wonderful ...er...service!
Maybe some topics are a little too close for comfort? =^~.~^=
This must be the day for double-takes. When I saw the first cookie, I thought it said "pissing", not "passing". Still applies to the situation, but maybe not needing congratulations.
And yes, I had to look up "side chick" too. Since I am single, Now when I go to buy half-price candy and stuff after Valentines Day, I'm going to tell everyone it's for my side dude. More for me!
"She tells me Murray also insisted on taking Cameron out for his first drink"
Are you saying Murray is the one who gave him his first HJ?! No wonder he was so popular with the crew!!
These cakes had me laughing hysterically. I love cakes and love the creativity. Having a nice cake with some words that crack you up is never a bad thing.
@ "Minda": "..maybe they were just hinting for a cake..." Any surgical thing is scary-I don't care who or what it is. I sometimes joke that "men are such babies" but that's all it is--a silly joke. They know that.
But, hey! Cake rocks! =^~.~^=
Just wanted to say I love it when you have the story behind the cakes - the Bill Murray story is still making me giggle and smile. That's a story he'll tell for the rest of his life :).
@Jodee: Prayers for you and your daughter. Sometimes going to the doctor is like banging your head against the wall for all the good it does. Tell your daughter to keep at it, go to a different doctor, whatever it takes until she is heard and helped. Maybe try alternative/non-Western medicine...Hang in there, hon. *hugs*
Wait, Cameron, was he by chance a "Grip" on the set?
Jodee - your poor daughter! Keep us in the loop if you can. Mr. Haiku and I both are rooting for you and your girl.
@sendingtheclowns: a surprise vasectomy would only be nice if it were in the form of a refundable gift card.....
@Jodee: have reactivated the prayers/good thoughts for your daughter and for you, and am sending virtual hugs your way....may you all be well....
Just have to wonder -- was Cameron the giver or the receiver?
Poor Cameron. Or lucky Cameron. Because, you know, things.
To quote the end of a related joke,
"The bartender said, 'hey, I'll give you a fourth shot for free!'
"The man said, 'no, thank you-- if the first three don't get the taste out of my mouth, the fourth one won't help.' "
~ Prayers/good thoughts are needed for my girl again. She's 400 miles from home and had to go to the hospital again yesterday for kidney problems. The doctors were less than helpful and sent her home because they couldn't find anything "wrong". So frustrated right now I want to scream!
==============
@Jodee: Oh. no! I JUST saw this! (I'm in & out & in again) Prayers & positive energy heading wherever they need to head to!! (ZING!) And you go right ahead an scream--as loud as you want! Believe it or not, it can actually help make you feel a tiny bit better..unless the neighbors come running to see who's having all the fun!
=^-.-^=
Though I've not had one and very likely won't ever, I can imagine talking about a vasectomy as a way of dealing with anxiety.
The "first hand job" cake; though, that's quite something.
Thanks everyone, y'all are the bestest!
Can I just say that I really love my boss? She's giving me advice on how to send the nastiest letter I can to the hospital for their poor treatment of my girl. The fact that my boss also happens to be an attorney is totally working in my favor!
I was also wondering whether Cameron was the giver or receiver and whether this had to do with his choice of career. Not that I'm judging. Gotta make a living somehow.
Speaking of which, the drug test one was probably job (not that kind!) related, too. I wonder if that person will get a giant cookie for each step of the hiring process. "Congratulations on completing the HR paperwork." "Congratulations on not looking too drunk in your employee ID badge photo." Because every little non-event in life has to be marked with a party and a pastry these days.
I didn't say it was a bad thing.
When there's cake involved I guess anything goes. I'm thinking about myself a cake celebrating my chronic insomnia. At least the side chick gets a cake. I wonder what the front chick gets.
@StevenHB: Wow--for a second there, I wasn't sure what it was you'd "not had one" OF--the way all of these freaks have their minds in the gutter! Look, you stick with me--I'm as pure as the driven snow, and I would never lead you down the path to such wanton debauchery....trust me! *snicker*
=^u.u^=
As an Italian-American I'm offended by that horrible representation of the Italian flag on the "Jersey Shore" cake.....also by the show "Jersey Shore" & it's "stars"....>>
I'm finding it hard to express my utter shock at what bakers will pipe onto a cake. Is there anything that is strictly taboo? Looking at these cakes, I can only imagine that there's not a lot of places that dedicated (read: healthy sense of humor) bakers aren't willing to go. And this is not, of course, a complaint! On the contrary, I love these cakes with every fibre of my being. Because, tee hee, hand jobs!
@Patty: ("... watched about 10 minutes of Jersey Shore once. I turned it off after about 10 minutes when I actually started hearing my brain cells committing suicide.")
Ay caramba!! THAT good, huh? I''ve never seen it, but -w0w--with a recommendation like that...sounds like something I should put on my "**** ** List"! =^-.-^= (Yah?)
I can't believe my vasectomy cake inspired another one! So proud!
@mel ("...a surprise vasectomy would only be nice if it were in the form of a refundable gift card...")
So what would it be refunded FOR, a non-vasectomy? You'd be right back at square one, and pointless. That would never work...Actually, it WOULD work, and that was the problem in the first place. Better just cut- I mean CALL- the whole thing off...
=^-.-^= *snicker*
Had to look up Side Chick Day too ... and it's MY FREAKING BIRTHDAY. No wonder I would get sympathetic looks from the waitresses when I was out to dinner with my friends.
Now I would REALLY love to get one of these cakewrecks instead of the obligatory b-day cake, so I can laugh my head off at an otherwise crappy day.
Side Chick! HA! The irony,
Is anyone else disturbed by the fact that the jersey shore cake is in the shape of some state that is most definitely NOT New Jersey? Maybe it's Pennsylvania? Not to mention the fact that it's a CCC(p'tooie!)
Awwwww....Auntie Nettie! That really does sound like a crappy b-day! I hope you friends cheered you up...
Tell you what: you go get good and snookered, then get some revenge! OFF with his good-for-nothing head! He's not even that good-looking (I bet.). I know you can do better!! Don't worry about a thing. I'll bake a wreck with a file in it to bust you out after the arrest, and you can head to Fargo, N.D., or somewhere in Minnesota, or Alaska--you know, so the trail can get cold? Now, scoot--grab some snowshoes and a parka and your murderous motivation and GO! =^~.~^=
Bill Murray is a nut -- a very nice nut, but definitely a nut! I can totally see him doing that. We grew up in the same town (he's 20+ years older than me.), and he used to come into the restaurant where I worked when he was in town. (All 9 Murray siblings worked there at one point or another.) I was waiting on him this one time he came in with one of his brothers, and he pointed out a grain of rice on my boob. "Um... you have something on your... um" (gesturing at chest area). I just said,"oops, and swiped it off onto the floor" as casually as a 17-year-old kid could, but I was totally embarrassed! I told my mom about it when I got home, and she proceeded to call every person she had ever met in her life and tell them the story. She still laughs about it to this day.
I saw "side chick" and I thought it was a play on "sidekick". I was wondering why that would be upsetting, so I looked it up.
I hate everything now.