Wreckily Ever After
July 18, 2013 Parents beware! Some of today's wrecks are not appropriate for kids.
Oh, and to my knowledge only two of these were NOT served at actual weddings. Let's see if you can guess which ones. [evil grin]
Someday my prince will come
;)
Someday I'll find my love
;)
And how thrilling that moment will be!
;)
When the prince of my dreams comes to me!
;)
He'll whisper, "I love you,"
;)
And steal a kiss or chew:
;)
Though he may be far away
;)
I will find my love someday
;)
(The porcelain throne?)
Someday when my dreams ...
;)
... come true!
;)
Thanks to Lynn G, Anony M., K.J., Serena M., Carol M., Alan R., Katie L., Solli S., Marisa F., & Stephanie L. for the royal treatment.
Oh, and for a sweet little palate cleanser, here's the version of Someday I listened to while writing this post. You should watch it. It's pretty. And Felicia Day is, like, too adorable. :)
Reader Comments (77)
Yikes! I hope you'll tell us which ones were NOT served at weddings. My guesses would be:
1. Semen in your eye; and
2. Dog hit by car
I'm going to guess the semen and vagina ones are the ones that weren't actually served at actual weddings. I hope. :)
I'm going with 5 and nine for no particular reason, I just thought you would like us to play along. And that video was FABULOUS!
I'm hoping beyond hope that the "Be my vagina" cake WAS served at a wedding. Because that would just make my life.
Thank you so much for the much needed laughs everyday!
My guess is the dog and the semen weren't served at weddings.
I really do hope the....ummmm...medical terminology cakes weren't at a wedding.
I believe the dog was....some people who really don't like the University of Georgia.
And nothing says red-neck wedding like Bud Light and Copenhagen.
I'm guessing that #2 was an engagement cake, and #3 was for a bachelor party. I was desperately hoping #1 wouldn't be at a wedding (talk about nightmares on the wedding night!) but when I look in the background I see what looks to be a candle and a flower. So....it probably was. I have seen some of these other wrecks before, and judging from the fancy backgrounds on others, they were at weddings, too. I'm not sure about #5, but if it was at a wedding, that takes trashy to a whole different level when you announce to all your new in-laws your lack of bedroom etiquette!
That video was adorable. Love the creative use of household objects. Now I'm subscribed to luieland!
When will we know for sure which cakes are the 2 non-wedding? In a perfect world, none would have been served period. Alas, the world is not perfect but it's funny!
I'm going along with hoping that the semen and dog ones were not served at weddings. And I actually liked the "Left 4 Wed" one! Although it might have been nicer with a different color border... And that video is super adorable!
"Some of today's wrecks are not appropriate for kids."???
Some of these wrecks aren't appropriate for HUMANS!
Bloody Hell--what is wrong with--Oh, forget it. But nice variety...there's your Generally Tacky and Tasteless (for the guys, of course) with a little Gross and Vulgar tossed in just for fun! PAR-TAY!!!
=^~.~^=
p.s.: Oh, and that 5th one down? I don't believe it for a minute. Probably laughed his ass off!! (It had to have been hilarious, if you think about it.)
(I can't believe these are *supposed* to be "professional" cakes...!) =^~.-^=
Numbers 2 & 5 were not served. I recognize the rest of them. :P
Boy, Evan's comment would be even funnier taken out of the Cakewrecks context. If someone just passing by heard it… what? wha?!!
On Wreck #2, are those the words they meant to order? Or were they going for "Virginia" or "Regina" or something?
I KNOW the dog WAS served at a wedding, but sure hoping "semen" & "vagina" weren't! Please, PLEASE do tell us the 2 not srvd.!
Maybe I'm weird or I just appreciate good video game humor, but I love the "Left 4 Wed" cake!
The others? Not so much...
I suppose the guy responsible for the "Be My Vagina Forever" cake received his own cake that said,
"Be A Dick Forever..."
I think that ALL of the cakes are ugly!!! Especially the dead-deer, red-necky one.
(Actually, the fondant-y one isn't horrible, but it looks like it has a stain on its side, unless it's a shadow from the toasting glasses.) ?
But WOW--I would love to have that Goofy tee shirt!
=^-.-^=
I almost forgot!
I believe neither the "Fat Bald Head Salad" nor the "Eye Semen" were actually served at actual weddings.
We've seen the sand castle/phallic cake before. Wasn't it for a birthday? And I'm pretty sure the dog was a groom's cake in another post. So that leaves a wide range of horror for what was actually served at a wedding. Like Kim, I hope the vagina cake was indeed served. That had to have been a great reception!
I'm going to guess that the dog cake WAS at a wedding if the bride and groom attended whatever university was the arch rival of UG.
I also would like to think that Vagina was a wrecked order form.
Semen in the Eye, however, totally not a wedding cake.
My calculated guesses are the vagina and the semen cakes. Ironic actually....
I'm guessing the dog WAS served at a wedding, as a grooms cake for a guy who really hates the Georgia Bulldogs--hence the little Uga name tag.
I, for one, am hoping that #3 wasn't served at a wedding, since it's sitting on the FLOOR! Ewww gross! :-P
I find it hard to believe any of these cakes were served at a wedding! No matter how I try, I just can't seriously type this next sentence...I don't think the semen cake was served at a wedding. (IS there an appropriate occasion for semen cake?)
The jury is still out on the rest of them, although I am praying that the freshly-balded Hagrid cake wasn't wedding material, that is truly ghastly.
I wonder what it says that I can imagine all of these being served at weddings. I'm hoping the head and the semen cakes were not, but I'd not be shocked to be wrong.
Trcik question, I'm betting all of these cakes were served at weddings.
@rocketmannate:
Re: cake-on-floor:
As Jed Clampett would say: "Well, if that don't beat all"!
It DOES look like a floor, doesn't it? Ah, what the heck--it's a bachelor party, they're all getting snookered and stupid--who cares?! They'll eat it anyway; they're GUYS.
=^-.-^=
I'm thinking the vagina cake is more of a proposal between two people with an awesome sense of humor and an inside understanding of the cake or from a person with absolutey no tact. The other non wedding/ grooms cake would have to be the semen one. My favorite part of that is the fact that the cake is black, like it's mourning the death of the relationship.
Sendingtheclowns - I believe the mark on the fondant wedding cake is a shadow, as I have seen pics of these cakes without the mark. I think the subject (and maybe the size) of the grooms cake is the issue not the workmanship
Wow. Um. That dog one was disturbing. I wish I hadn't seen it.
And this is from someone who's seen all of those baby-birth cakes.
I'm with Auntie Em--I actually kind of like the Left 4 Wed cake. It'd be for some pretty quirky people, I'd imagine, but it's a fun take, imo. The rest? The stuff of nightares!
I'm hoping the ones not served were:
Semen in your eye
Be my vagina forever
Although sadly I think I may be wrong about the second one...
I'm guessing (make that hoping) that #3 isn't sitting on the floor, but rather is on a tile countertop. That would make it a bit more sanitary. I'm having a hard time picturing anyone, even a group of guys, putting it on the floor, not due to sanitary concerns, but simply because that would make it harder to eat. Lord knows they wouldn't be caught dead having to bend all the way down to the floor to slice and eat it.
I want the "Left 4 Wed" cake. Do I have to get married, or can I just order one?
I love the video at the end. She really is adorable!!!
Also, that dog run over cake...so sad....so horrible...so awesome!!!!
@mel:
(" I think the subject (and maybe the size) of the grooms cake is the issue not the workmanship")
----
Silly me! How could I forget? A grooms cake is for guys, so of COURSE it's about the size! (And, of course, swapping recipes.)
=^~.~^=
The dog one is horrible!!!
I love how someone placed a delicate orchid behind the horrifying bald head salad cake, as if that would make it all come together beautifully, somehow.
Thanks for saring the Felicia Day video...I didn't know she sang. I just love her mashup videos....It's good of you to share the love. :)
Need backstory on all of them ppplleeaasse
@Kate ("I love how someone placed a delicate orchid behind the horrifying bald head...")
-------
I hadn't even noticed the orchid! It'd take more than just a pretty posie to "save" that monstrosity, but at least it's a nice touch.
I also think that it's not so much a "horrifying bald head" as it is just plain horrifying. Because even WITH hair, it would still have, you know, that FACE.
=^o.0^=
"Be my vagina forever" is an excellent example of why some people just shouldn't write their own vows.
The dog cake was amazingly made, it actually looks like a run over dog in all of it's grossness. I would not appreciate seeing that one at the store. Or any place else.
# 8 is pretty and the porcelin throne is nicely made-but why?
#9 is an interesting shaped towers? sand castles?
All of them could have been served at a wedding, and proobably shouldn't have. Unless everyone had a great and the same sense of humor.
OH MY!!! When I saw cake three I thought "That would have been perfect for Johnny and Kendra (sister&bro-in-law) and when I saw cake four I thought "That would be perfect for Tim and Mike and Johnny's birthdays!!!" The rest are just really SICK!!!(and ot in a good way!) and the dog cake......I need the eye bleach after that....that's almost as bad as the dead baby cake a couple of weeks ago.....
I do have to say that the last one, the Left for Wed cake... should not be a wreck... it's from a video game, and if it's a Groom's cake, it's actually quite awesome!!!
Does the addition of "Version 1.0" on the Left4Wed cake implies that there may be future versions/marriages?
Just so you know, the dog is UGA (pronounced "Ugga"), the mascot for the University of Georgia. My guess is that the groom went to another school in the SEC -- most likely Florida, Alabama, or South Carolina -- or possibly Georgia Tech. Some of them boys take their football purty dern serious down there.
I KNEW that baldy-head guy reminded me of something, and just realized what! There was a Clint Eastwood movie where a guy was buried up to his neck in the desert (instead of the dessert); it really creeped me out. anyone else remember that? I can't remember which movie it was, darn it. I don't generally like westerns, but I LOVE Clint Eastwood's spaghetti westerns, and the Ennio Morricone soundtracks!
=^-.-^=
Oh Heavens! which one do I talk about first???? the dog w guts hanging out? be my vagina forever? semen in your eye...oh my? i am actually speechless. I think this tops them all!
Thanks for the wonderful video. Splendidly sung, great sound effects, pretty singers. Sigh, that really helped clean the bits of dog entrail from my visual cortex. The other cakes are just tacky, but the dog is disgusting. Can you imagine eating that?
Last night I got a burning ember from the fire in my eye. I think I prefer that to the alternative...
Sandcastle turrets shouldn't be attempted, pretty much EVER given how many of them turn up here.
My guess is the apology cake (covered in nasty black frosting no less!) and the poor unfortunate dog weren't served at weddings. The rest probably shouldn't have been.
1) Decapitated Homer needs a shave, this head on lettuce is somewhat depraved.
2) Romance is dead? Well I’m here to tell ya, it’s alive and well in this ode to genitalia.
3) He hunted high and low for the woman of his dreams and found the deer girl in front of plastic trees.
4) After the hunt a man wants a beer to cap off his night and end with some cheer.
5) Unfortunately alcohol sometimes gets things all loose, and the bride ends up with an eye full of man-juice.
6) A big chaw of dip can sharpen your skills so you can play horseshoes in strawberry fields.
7) Big loss of words for the eviscerated dog, but send me the baker and I’ll give him a flog.
8) Back at the wedding the bride and groom were betrothed but hubby was MIA, out using the commode.
9) While a trio of badly frosted penis gazed out to the sea, the sound of the ocean whooshed in the shells at their feet.
10) While all of these mishaps should have been Left for Dead, a horrific redemption was bestowed at the end……Thanks Jen.