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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
May282013

Spit Take

"You know what? On second thought, I'm really not all that hungry."

 

Thanks for the offer, Lynda O., but I've really gotta split.

« These Cakes Need A DOCTOR | Main | Memorial Pride »

Reader Comments (50)

Yes, I'll have no bananas.
I'll have no bananas today!

My other option was: I scream, you scream, we all scream at ice cream. (Or at least its cupcake equivalent...)

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I weep for our country's IQ D:

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

At least the icing is "mellow".

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterShirley Fowley

It took me three reads to realize that "cremy" was actually "cherry". I figured it was just another misspelled word!

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

See the fella in the background? I'm pretty sure he is the spitter.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterzoomom

The guy in the back is concerned too

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMandooPandoo

Y'know...once properly translated into English, these sound pretty tasty!

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H.

The marshmellow is what happened when the DEA dumped two tons of MJ into the Fire Swamp for disposal, right? (blinkblink).... RIGHT!??!!!

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

banana cake... swallow or spit....?

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Boy Blue

Gee, and the recipe for Banana Split Cake was just published in the Indianapolis Star.
When did pineapple become part of a banana split? When I was growing up it was a whole banana, vanilla ice cream (two or three scoops, depending on the size of the banana and the generosity of the maker), whipped cream, chocolate syrup (maybe some chopped nuts) and a cherry on top. No pinapple or other extraneous fruit.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAlison in Indiana

Ok, I'm slighlty confused what is "with cherry*pineapple with marshmellow icing"? Is it the cupcake with cherry and pineapples, the fruit? or cherry and pineapple flavoring added to the banana cake? They do look cute, without the sign that is.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I wonder how many times they have to clean the glass on the front of the bakery case because of all of the spit takes as readers comprehend the sign.

I read your site every day and have done so for years. Thanks for a great 5 years and here's hoping for many more.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterDonnasaurus

At a glance, I read the "icing" as "long".

Hey, maybe they cooked the banana by running a stick through it, supporting it over a fire, and continuously rotating the stick until a desired level of cooking was reached... no? ;)

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

Bwaaaahahahahaha! *deep breath*. Bwwaaaahahahaha! And that wreckerator will spend the rest of the day wondering why her wonderful creations never sold.

I think we may be seeing telltale signs of a covert & extremely secret club here....the Illiterate Bakers Guild, who's motto is, naturally, "Bad spellers of the world untie!". I am sure mel can someday fill us in on the illustrious history of the great IBG, but for now we can only guess at the actual number of IBG members running amuck at bakerys across our great nation & even abroad. However, I would be willing to bet that these covert operatives identify one another through the universal IBG identifier - "congratulations" - misspelled, of course. ;-)

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterMovieMom

BADkarma- LOL!

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterms anthrope

What does a banana look like when it spits? How does it pucker up? And how long does it take to collect enough banana spit to make a cake? Is this spit sold in specialty stores?

None of this sounds very ap-peeling. (Sorry, I couldn't resist!)

@Alison: Here in Nebraska, banana splits come with chocolate, pineapple and strawberry toppings. That's how we've done it here. I like the all-chocolate idea better.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I didn't know bananas COULD spit.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I've always seen pineapple, strawberry and chocolate syrup on banana splits. But I'm sure they're different depending on where you go.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Banana_split

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea K.

@Allison in Indiana, Dairy Queen Banana splits have always had pineapple as one of the toppings. Or at least as long as I can remember.

A whole banana, three soft ice cream "swirls", and three toppings: chocolate, pineapple, strawberry. Also some whipped cream.

Now I want a Banana Split! Or even better, a Banana Split Blizzard! Much easier to walk around with.

But I'll pass on spit cupcakes. Not my style at all!

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbelphebe

I'm assuming those are banana chips on the top and not fresh slices turning brown.

I agree that once you get past the spelling they do sound tasty.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterEric Stott

Ehhh... I'd eat it if it was made paleo-fied. They look yummy! ;)

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterGroovy Girl

Around here, you can get any kinds of toppings on your split. Caramel, marshmallow, fudge...but the most common are chocolate, pineapple and strawberry. It's been that way since I was a little girl, and I'm well into middle age now, so it's not a new thing.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterLeah

Is that a banana chip on the top?

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterAnnne

LOL! I think this is hilarious too! But, we know it has happened to all of us (at least the spit part) writing or typing in a hurry, I mean. What makes me laugh more is when someone like @MovieMom goes as far as seriously making fun of someone for typos or misspellings as to mention a “Illiterate Bakers Guild” and then goes on to misspell the word “unite” herself as in “bad spellers of the world UNITE”. Then writes bakerys instead of bakeries. Well, that’s what is funny to me. When you’re going to go at someone for misspelling, you better check and double check your own. Indeed, bad karma :)

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterblancs

Ted? Ted Bundy, is that you?

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersharon

Growing up in Erie, PA, a banana split was composed of:

An entire banana, split lengthwise and cradling
1 scoop chocolate ice cream
1 scoop strawberry ice cream
1 scoop vanilla ice cream

Which in turn were topped with:

crushed pineapple topping (like pie filling)
strawberry topping
hot fudge

and adorned with:
three swirls of whipped cream and chopped walnuts and
one-to-three cherries (or none, in my case)

Once in a while, on extremely special occasions, that's what we had for supper!

Wondering where in Indiana you get your banana splits? I've been in Fort Wayne my entire life, and a true banana split has pineapple. I say "true" because soft serve does not cut it. A True Banana Split is a halved banana with three scoops of ice cream, three toppings, and whipped cream from a can over all with nuts and a cherry on top. The ice creams are chocolate, vanilla and strawberry. Chocolate goes on the chocolate, strawberries on the strawberry and pineapple on the vanilla.
I've seen marshmallow topping on the chocolate, but that is subversively radical.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterStar

Spitter Bomb!!!!!

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterSusie

in my old waitressing days, this is what we called a, "Sneezer." It could also be called a, "Stomach Turner.'
Hilarious.
xo,
Meredith

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermeredith

@Blancs..moviemom was * joking* and misspelling words on purpose, so as to illustrate the point that wreckerators can't spell....sarcasm...it's your friend

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commenterbrenda

Blancs sweetiepoopers, would you be capable of recognizing sarcasm if it jumped up and latched onto your butt, perhaps?

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

I also read it as "cremy pineapple" and was preparing to be doubly concerned. These wreckerators have us trained to assume the worst, I guess.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Leave the banana split.
Take the cannoli.

=^-.-^=

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@blancs ~ I'm pretty sure the UNTIE was on purpose. That's part of the joke.

Here in WA we have pineapple on our banana splits too, although the Indiana version sounds tasty! I really don't want to encounter a spitting banana however. o.O

I missed all the fun over the long weekend. (for the record, I saw the Eagle right away o.O)

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

@BADKarma, you made me snort...TWICE!!! Well done my friend.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterJodee

Well, I just think those are the pits!
(I don't even LIKE banana splits!)
What do they have to do with CAKE?
A split you don't even have to bake!

Somebody didn't get much sleep last night.((yawn!))
=^@.@^=

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@MovieMom – Funny you should mention IBG, as I was looking into this over the week-end (plans rained out) and you are indeed correct: it is a covert and extremely secret club, and information on it is difficult to come by. I have uncovered this much, however. While it is true that, as you say, countless numbers are “running amuck at bakerys across our great nation,” you have underestimated the number of female members when you suggested there was only one when you added “& even abroad.” Apparently, there may be as many as a dozen (which in the case of bakers is 13…) or maybe even more. Estimates have gone all the way to 144, but that’s a gross guess. While further inquiry is needed into this organization, I did find out one more thing: there is a little discord in the ranks. Herbert Glokken, a decorator of no noteworthy talent (when asked to make a cake for the winner of a local spelling bee, he couldn’t figure out how to spell any of it, and was heard mumbling “Two B, or not two B; that is the question.”) has been promoting himself as an outstanding candidate for the position of Chairman, much to the annoyance of his fellow members. He is relentless in this pursuit, and apparently not only regularly makes this pitch at the organization’s annual meeting, but also at the local monthly meetings as well. Naturally, this has not endeared him to his colleagues, and when they see him coming they just roll their eyes and sigh, “Here comes the Glokken spiel.”

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

@zoomom: Hey, you know-that guy DOES look a little suspect.
Okay-here's how we'll handle this: I'll distract the subject by approaching him and asking him if he'd been in Kabul on a Wednesday night back in February of 2011.Meanwhile,YOU stand behind me and wait for my signal, which will be when I ask him if he's ever heard the joke about a guy who spit on cakes.As soon as I give that signal, YOU jump out from behind me, swab the inside of his cheek and perform an immediate DNA check on the tissue sample.
You ready? Let's DO this!
=^-.-^=

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered Commentersendingtheclowns

@blancs: badkarma was being sarcastic. "Unite" and "bakeries" were meant to be spelled "untie" and "bakeries".
I shloud know, Im the quen of speling. ;)

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterWreckophile #1

Hi, Jodee! Glad you're back! Yeah, I was gonna nail Blancs too, but I think you & BADKarma & brenda got it covered. (I like BADKarma's the best.) There's actually a shirt (or was) that says (in white on a black background) just that: BAD Spellers of the World...UNTIE!
BWAHHAHAHAHHA...never got around to buying it though...or the BASSackwards shirt with backwards bass all over it... :-)
And just one more...Great shirt for someone hitting a milestone birthday..."[Name] is [##] years old but s/he's still Tarp as a Shack!" :-) (I can't wait to give that one to somebody I know! :-) Guess I'm tacky that way...

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

And for the banana split survey, hubby (who was born in Lake Charles, LA but grew up in Odessa, TX) sez:
one banana, split lengthwise, with 3 scoops vanilla ice cream One scoop is topped with chocolate syrup/sauce, one with caramel, & one with cherry; then top with whipped creme on all, and a cherry on top of the creme on the center scoop.

Me: If @ home or @ Farrell's Ice Cream Parlor (oh, how i miss them!!!) -(I believe this is how they did it):
one banana, split lengthwise, with 1 scoop vanilla ice cream, 1 scoop chocolate & 1 scoop strawberry. Choc sauce on choc ice cream, strawberry on 'berry, and pineapple sauce on the vanilla; then top with whipped creme on all, and a cherry on top of the creme on the center scoop. (Houston, Tx area)

Or, @ Abel's Drugstore or Dairy Queen : Same as for Me above, *but* all scoops were vanilla ice cream. :-( (I should know - Abel's was close enough to get to on my bike & 1 week's allowance was just enough to cover a banana split. :-) (Pasadena, Tx - just east of Houston)

Now I want to go back to my childhood & have my birthday party @ Farrell's all over again - before I had food allergies. <sigh> Where's that d*mn TARDIS?! Hey, Doc, can ya give me a lift? Just this once... ;-)

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I totally missed "spit" due to "marshmellow." I worked in an ice cream store and it's marshmallow; my boss made me write it 100 times when I first started and questioned him. (It's also sherbet not sherbert. Huh.)
Although the store was in Orlando, the owner was from Connecticut and banana splits were 3 scoops of ice cream (chocolate, vanilla, strawberry) topped with (chocolate syrup, crushed pineapple and strawberries in syrup). You could change the flavors but that was the standard. I'm not knocking anyone else's idea of what it is- I've been to places where it was only hot fudge on all 3 and I was completely fine with that!! :D

(waves cheerily) Hi, mel! Still adore you!!

@sendingtheclowns You rock. big LOL over here!

@KarateLady we had a Farrell's and I would jump up and down in my chair when they'd bang the drum and the guys would run up & down the aisles with that freakin' huge trough of a sundae in a stretcher up on their shoulders!! Never got to join in on one of those and I still feel gypped.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

If chocolate ice cream has chocolate and strawberry has strawberry, shouldn't vanilla have vanilla sauce?

Golly, it seems as though there are as many legit ways to make a banana split as there are ways to make a King's Cake: ONE. Kinda glad I haven't mentioned that local delicacy: deep-fried banana split.

Welcome back, Jodee.

May 28, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

And mel strikes again! SCORE!!! :-) (Seriously, well done, mel!!) "...Here comes the Glokken spiel.” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! Love it!!! (I wonder just how many wreckies know what a glockenspiel is?! <grin>)

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

Oh sheesh lol. I too saw that cherry as cremy. I wondered what exactly had happened to the pineapple before someone spit on the cake. Guess now I will never know. Honestly how do they not proof read the signs lol.

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Mmm, sounds mouthwatering...

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCaroline B

@Barbara Anne - I forgot about the drum & the stretcher! One time, they auctioned off a chocolate sundae in a glass...started the bidding @ 5 cents...it sold for $1.20 (reg price was $1.25). It was lunchtime @ the Galleria mall in Houston, 2nd or 3rd level. We'd stopped after a doc appt for me (checkup - not sick!). Everyone had fun bidding on it! Good times <sigh>...There's still a couple in CA & HI. I hope to visit one if I go back to CA to see my sis. Will have to be satisfied with sippin' on an iced tea or something...

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterKarateLady

I once saw a sign in my University cafeteria for "Spit Pea Soup." I told the Dining Services supervisor about it. That sign was gone in 30 seconds.

I have two other favorite menu goofs. One (at a pretty high-class restaurant) was "mescaline greens." I don't THINK the chef intended to get everyone high from his mesclun greens. The other, from a Chinese restaurant: "Mixed Ass Vegetables." Took me a few minutes to realize "assorted."

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermartinet

@Barbara Anne -- (hands head, hands in pockets, fidgets, blushes) Hi, Barbara Anne.....

@KarateLady -- well...I was wondering that same thing, too...glad you enjoyed it!

May 29, 2013 | Unregistered Commentermel

Always bring a banana to a party...

March 27, 2014 | Unregistered CommenterTheCreepyTribble

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