Wednesday
Apr172013
So Easy, A Wreckerator Couldn't Do It
April 17, 2013 Don't worry, bakers; today's decorating challenge is SUPER easy. I'll even walk you through it!
Now, are you ready?
Annnnd... [starting timer]... go!
Ok, just throw the ball towards the basket:
;)
And count to three:
;)
Now put the candle on this kid's birthday cake:
;)
And stack these two plastic pieces together to form a turkey:
;)
And for the grand finale...
Just remember which way is up!
;)
[[DING!]]
Congratulations!! You have officially earned the title of Wreckerator! Here's your apron, bag of plastic flotsam, and list of "50 Wrong Ways To Spell 'Congratulations.'" Now, get out there, you, and make us laugh!
Thanks to Elise H., Betsy G., Anna K., Nicole H., & Vanessa W. for lowering the bar that much further.
Reader Comments (39)
Some people are too dumb to breathe :O
Sung to "It's So Easy to Fall in Love"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1tBeqxKKseA
It's so easy to pipe a ball
It's so easy to count 'n' all
People tell me Ronald's cool
Well, here I go, breaking candle rules
It seems so easy
(It's not easy, it's not easy, it's not easy)
Yeah, flotsam seems easy
(It's not easy, it's not easy, it's not easy)
That turkey's queasy
(He's so queasy, he's so queasy, he's so queasy)
Yeah, when will I learn, my flotsam's turned?
Oh, oh, oh
It's so easy to wreck a cake
It's so easy to sell mistakes
To be fair, my family would have 100% put the candle in Ronald's crotch, then taken two million pictures of the kid blowing it out.
This picture would also be trotted out at said kid's first date, prom, engagement party, wedding, every significant birthday, and hizzer's funeral. And yes, I've seen The Embarrassing Photo on funeral displays, because my family is weird.
What, no rim-shot joke?
Maybe it's the basket that running away from the ball...
I'm just kind of boggled that there are TWO turkey heads. Was it a Cerberus-style turkey?
I do wonder who placed the candle. Was it the decorator? The party planning staff (provided it's at a venue, and the purple table hints that it could be)? The small child in the picture?
Cake 1: Friends, is your basketball team having trouble scoring? Are they missing the "easy" ones? If so, they need the new Mag-NET-ic basketball net, Yes, using a series of proprietary developments, this net actually attracts the ball (see illustration) resulting in point after point! Why, your team will have more buckets than a KFC store! For further information.....
Cake 2: Happy Birthday to our New Math teacher....
Cake 3: Ronald McDonald and his "Big Mac"......
Cake 4:Lined up for the annual Turkey Trot -- first one to the body wins!
Cake 5:Looking at the cake upside down, it says HayM...and that's a pig...above an eagle...which means that the Eagles will win the SuperBowl when pigs fly.
@SuBee - Bwaaaaahhahahaha! :-) (And yesterday's Dora comment was just as good! :-)
@Sharyn - I can *totally* hear Linda Ronstadt belting out this parody in my head:"It's so easy to wrrreeeeck a cake..." Gotta show the hubby. He was gaga over her waaay back when... :-)
"132?" REALLY? You'd think basic literacy would be a requirement of being hired in a bakery (like, REALLY basic), but I guess you'd be wrong.
For a moment - just a moment - I was tempted to think the candle placement had to be down to the family. Then I remembered where I was. There is, it would seem, no limit to the capacity of the average wreckerator for sheer, unadulterated stoopid.
The turkey cake was actually a mob thing. No, really.
Well, of course the candle has to be in the EXACT MIDDLE of the cake, no matter what picture is on it. After all, we want the cake to be correctly decorated, right?
We have that beautiful photo of Ronald juggling flying saucers and getting SO excited about it! Blow it out, honey!
Maybe the ball is bouncing off the rim. That's happened to me a few times...
Is Ronald perhaps singing "Light My Fire" by The Doors?
That one cake is a turkey, but it won't matter if they gobble it down...
What's wrong with having an Eagles cake for Wyatt's 6th birthday? ;)
After examining the Ronald cake more closely, it seems someone tried to place the candle elsewhere.
Several times. See the holes? It seems the candle could not be kept up in those places.
Ronald's crotch was the only place that could hold the candle erect.
Happy 132nd birthday to the recipient of cake number 2. Glad to see you finally learnt your ABCs, we were starting to get a little worried there.
Sharyn bwahaha
I'm not 100% sure but I think in the decorating book with the Sesame Street cake it's actually 132 as part of how it's decorated. I'm not a cake decorator but I do work in a bakery and I think we actually were wondering why it was like that.
I, for one, am highly offended, Jen! You got my mouth watering for a Sharyn song parody of 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover and all I got was your regular, run-of-the-mill post and comments, which are always fabulous, but stop trying to change the subject! I DEMAND someone give me a 50 Wrong Ways To Spell Congratulations song! I'll wait...
Ha! Is that a birthday candle in your pocket, Ronnie? Or are you just happy to see me?
These are hilarious!! Though, I think Wyatt had it coming being an Eagles fan.
Here you go, Andrea...
"The problem is all inside your head", she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to wreck “Congratulations”
She said it's really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning won't be lost or misconstrued
But I'll repeat myself, at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to wreck “Congratulations”
Fifty ways to wreck “Congratulations”…
You just slip in an “act”, Jack
Add a new “N”, Stan
You don't need to use “Co”, Roy
Just wreck up that word.
Throw in an “us”, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just stick in a “D”, Lee
And wreck up that word.
Oooo just slip in an “act”, Jack
Add a new “N”, Stan
You don't need to use “Co”, Roy
Just wreck up that word.
Throw in an “us”, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just stick in a “D”, Lee
And wreck up that word.
She said it grieves me so to see you at such loose ends
I wish there was something I could do to make you wreck again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways
She said why don't you just practice tonight
And I believe in the morning you'll begin to see the light
And then she kissed me and I realized she probably was right
There must be fifty ways to wreck “Congratulations”
Fifty ways to wreck “Congratulations”…
You just slip in an “act”, Jack
Add a new “N”, Stan
You don't need to use “Co”, Roy
Just wreck up that word.
Throw in an “us”, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just stick in a “D”, Lee
And wreck up that word.
Just slip in an “act”, Jack
Add a new “N”, Stan
You don't need to use “Co”, Roy
Just wreck up that word.
Throw in an “us”, Gus
You don't need to discuss much
Just stick in a “D”, Lee
And wreck up that word...
@Just Andrea -- Actually, I wrote the following "50 Ways" song for the June 6, 2012 post
Sung to “50 Ways to Leave Your Lover”
It’s hard to spell that word correctly every day
No matter how I write it I think it’s OK
I’m tired of having to give half my cakes away
There must be 50 ways to spell that word wrong
You see, it’s not my job to check a dictionary
It seems so simple when you spell phonetically
I can’t remember “I before E after C”
There must be 50 ways to spell that word wrong
50 ways to spell that word wrong
You just slip D in back, smack
Add in an N, then
Insert one extra U, ooh
It’s simple to me
Now there’s room for an O, go
Fit it in just so
Then add some more Cs, see
“Yes, Ma’am, this one’s free.”
Sometimes it grieves me not to get paid every day
I wish there was something I could do to spell that word OK
I just can’t seem to sound it out the way you say
Without the 50 ways
I think that I’ll go home and sleep on it tonight
Maybe by morning I’ll begin to spell it right
I don’t believe it when they say I’m not too bright
Still, I have 50 ways to spell that word wrong
50 ways to spell that word wrong
You just slip D in back, smack
Add in an N, then
Insert one extra U, ooh
It’s simple to me
Now there’s room for an O, go
Fit it in just so
Then add some more Cs, see
“Yes, Ma’am, this one’s free.”
Maybe "5379√3" is Wyatt's favorite number.
#1 Some
cube-dweller with WAY too much time on their handsclever office geek finally invented a waste basket that tosses the Nerf basketball back to you. Who needs all that getting up and fetching? That's too much like exercise.#2 Nice try, @Lauren. I kid. Maybe the cake in the catalog was made that way as a joke: "There's going to be hundreds of these things, and the decorator will get the blame! Moohoohahahahaha!"
#3 Boss: "Don't put the candle in the corner; the candle has to be in the center! I'm not letting a cake go out of here with an off-center candle, got it?"
Poor, Innocent Wreckerator*: "But, but..."
Boss: "Do it!"
*Yeah, right.
#4 Perhaps this was ordered for a staff party at a particular TV network, and the person who commissioned it decided to throw in some subtle commentary.
#5 Incredibly Patient Boss: "Couldn't you have at least walked around to the other side of the cake before writing the message?"
Wreckorator Whose Hair Color is Not Germane: "I tried that, but the cake was too far away for me to reach it."
I.P. Boss: **Facepalm**
@BADKarma: Woot! Well done! Bravo! I'll sleep in tomorrow and let you write the song, OK?
Maybe the Eagles are in distress....
Anonynon - very funny!
BADKarma and Sharyn:
Double genius all the way!!
@BADKarma and @Sharyn You guys are simply amazing!
As for that second wreck... c'mon! Even Michael Jackson got it right for Pete's sake!
Woot! I guess whoever said the squeeky wheel gets the grease was right!
Awesome job BADKarma and Sharyn!
So, I am completely offended that no one has sent me $1,000 dollars! I DEMAND someone send me $1,000USD! Anyone? Well, it was worth a shot!
@craig I agree actually.. I'm always talking about this website at work... I've thought about taking some pictures to send in but since they are my coworkers I don't.. I've seen some rough cakes
@Just Andrea - how about a cake with ten edible images of a $100 bill?! :-)
@BADKarma & Sharyn - nicely done! That was my favorite song when I was a kid, probably because the rhymes were easy to follow - Stan/plan, etc. Though, I definitely had no idea what a lover was & why he wanted to leave it (her) - I was only 5 or so at the time! :-)
And here I thought Ronald McDonald was a CHILDREN'S character! Poor baby's order got confused with some perverted 21-year-old's...
Lmao poor Ronald McDonald. Sheesh. I would make sure to burn that picture and the negatives when I got older if I was that kid. As for the others my brain cannot fathom how they got jobs in a bakery if they can't even tell something is upside down lol.
So does that Ronald cake add to or subtract from your fear of clowns??
@KarateLady: I'll take it! : D
@BADKarma and Sharyn- I totally love you both in a non-stalky way!!
(sorry it's so late- maybe you'll see it one day)
What cracks me up about the Ronald cake is that the picture was taken at a McDonald's.
I actually spat all over my monitor when I got to the Ronald MacDonald cake!