Rising to the Occasion
December 17, 2013 [WARNING: Those blessed/cursed with a dirty mind are going to find this post hee-LARIOUS - but should probably clear the room of innocents first. Remember, Santa is watching, kids.]
There's just something about this time of year, am I right? Crackling fires in every fireplace, romantic twinkly lights in all the trees, and of course, skin-tight Santa suits. Yep. This, my friends, is the season... OF LURRRVE.
And a good thing, too. After all, it makes us more giving:
;)
(Step 1: Cut a hole in the box.)
More attentive:
;)
"Yes, deer."
And even when we're feeling a bit knotty:
;)
[insert 'morning wood' joke here]
... we know this is the time when its better to bury the hatchet, not leave.
Yes, it's the season for dropping the underpants of our emotional reticence, and letting the ding-a-ling of our love shine out.
;)
(Oh, it's happy, all right.)
I guess what I'm trying to say here, my friends, is that Rudolph has a giant wang on his face:
;)
And you've just gotta love that.
Thanks to Sarah L., Nick, Bridget F., Luke, & C for taking a firm upper hand with these rascally wrecks.
Reader Comments (41)
I'm so embarrassed . . .
I'm not sure how to say this:
There's wang on your face.
Do they really not see what they do??? lol@haiku joy
Holy poo wangs!
Rudolph the poo-wanged reindeer
Had a very shiny "nose."
And when he saw the girl deer
You could even watch it grow.
My only question is if Rudolph's nose is reserved for a Naughty Elf? I'm not sure I wanna see how that gets eaten!
Let's see, a song, a song...
"If you're happy and you know it, buy a box." Nope
"Stand tall..." Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope
"Feelings...." Whoa, whoa, whoa
"Rudolph, the red-tipped..." Y'know, I think I'd better stop now...
Hee-LARIOUS, Jen! (Not that I "got" the jokes. Nosirree... Not me.)
What disturbed me the most is that, in the first cake, the red frosting goes from the elf's body to his shoe. It looks like he has a devil's tail. Or diahrhea.
If you were to turn the 2nd photo 180 degrees, he wouldn't look all that happy or "attentive".
As for "Rudy"...I wouldn't touch that with a 10-inch butcher knife...("Yo! Lorena? Dessert's here!")
=^e.e^=
Re Rudolph, now we know why all the (female) reindeer loved him and shouted out with glee.
@Sharyn ~ I just snorted hot coffee out my nose. Thanks for that!
Totally NOT poo wang nose related... Baby Matthew was born at 3:30 yesterday morning. 7lbs 9oz 20 inches long. Sweetest little face you've ever seen!!! Daddy is my step-son so I get to be NeeNee!!!
Not a cake, but in keeping with the theme:
http://www.tarborotimes.com/2013/12/12/weird-news-disturbing-chocolate-santa-will-give-you-nightmares/
ROTFL!!!!
Oh, thank you, one and all, for the hearty belly laughs. I really needed that.
Re cake 4:
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Congrats Jodee!
@Jodee: Congratulations, to you and all! May the joy he brings be with you always!
What. Is. Up. (pun intended) bakers?
Also, why the pretzel antlers? WHY!?!
Is that a SYRINGE NEEDLE on that Yule log?!?
Happy birthday, baby Matthew!
@NeeNeeJodee:
Congratulations are in order! Happy NeeNee Day! Maybe new-mommy will get a celebratory wreck!
Congratulations, Jodee!
It took me a few minutes to get the first cake. I really need to get out more.
This post gives a whole new meaning to the song, "Do You See What I See?"
Your post cracks me up as usual, thanks! Just wanted to say that Cake Wrecks was mentioned on the Graham Norton Show on Sunday!!!!! Of course, they didn't mention your hilarious writing, but still. Is this the 2nd time he's mentioned Cake Wrecks?
@Jodee- congratulations NeeNee!!! or should I say congrolaions or something like that??? LOL and- I have learned (justifiably so) to NEVER be drinking a beverage when reading the daily CW blog, it does bad things to computers...very BAD things...(da-dum duuummm)
@sendingtheclowns- I LOST it on the Lorena butter-knife mention!!! Oh man, if my brother-in-law was not on a speaker phone conference call right now, I would be dying with laughter, as it is, my stomach hurts from holding it in. Gotta LOVE a good John/Lorena Bobbitt joke!!!
Happy Holidays to all and sundry at the best blog on the inner-webz :+))
I'm sensing a phallic poo theme. Nothing says Merry Christmas like a creepy elf with a heart in a box.
@Little Boy Blue ~ So very wrong on so many levels... I LIKE IT!
Thanks everyone! He is such a sweet thing! I am having the worst day and when I look at the picture on my phone of his sweet little face I can't help but smile.
Congralutions, Jodee!
Just think, in 18 years you can show the little guy all of these welcoming messages.
I wouldn't take a chance on letting him see them sooner...
@J. pretty sure I read somewhere that it's only the female reindeer that have antlers during the winter (the males shed their antlers in the fall) so, ya know, you can draw your own conclusions about good ol' Rudy....
Poo + Penis = Poonis
Poo-Wangs: Not just for Thanksgiving any more...
@Pam ~ In my defense, I'd already been here before @Sharyn's post. I was alerted of the up rising (hehe) situation Jen had thrown at us bright and early this morning.
**note to self** Don't drink coffee until AFTER Sharyn has posted. Or Little Boy Blue. Or mel. Or SuBee. Or... Hey, waitaminute... Where's @KarateLady??? And @Barbara Ann? Craaaaaaaaaaaaaig????
I agree with Karen: what is with the pretzel antlers? I'I keep seeing them on "reindeer" cupcakes. It doesn't matter how carefully you bite off the loops to open them, they still look like pretzels, not salt-studded deer antlers.
Karen and magicdomino: Maybe they're mutated Sika Deer from Japan.
Haha wow fantastic
hahaha...thanks, Jodee...and remember...do not read CW while holding baby Matthew, either....
Well I always knew that Elf on the Shelf was evil and now we have the wreck to prove it lmao. As for the turd wangs.. I say wreckerators are doing this on purpose just to see what hysterical laughter they can get from the customers refusing to buy the things lol.
Rudolph the wang-nosed reindeer had a very longish nose
and if you ever saw it, you would even say it grows
All of the other reindeer used to laugh and call him names - Duh! He has a wang on his face what did you expect?!
I considered finishing the song but it quickly digressed to a very bad place and I just couldn't go there (not publicly anyway!) Jen opens the door and I fall right in the gutter.
Something is very very wong
@Little Boy Blue:
I don't have any young children left at home, but I want to order a Ru-Wang™ anyway. I could use one for the times when...uh...well, whenever I could use an extra hand, so to speak. Er, wait--I want it for when the grandchildren visit! Yeah, that's it.
=^~.~^=
Congrats to Jodee. And heed mel's advice... no reading CW while holding a sleeping baby. Or really not even in the same room with a sleeping baby. I learned the hard way!
I just don't see how the decorator could look at the last cake and NOT see a giant wang on Rudolph's face. Maybe this was their last cake of the day, and they'd done a lot that day, and by that time it was just like whatever, I don't even care. My shift's over.
Does anyone else thing Pic 4 looks like penis acupuncture?
Rudolph the poo-nosed rein-dick,
Had a very strange colored wang.
And if you ever saw it,
You would dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee........................................
'Tis my tribute to the last cake.