You Gonna Eat That?
November 15, 2013 It's Clean Out Your Fridge Day, my friends, and I, the Queen of Unidentifiable Food Objects, am here to guide you through it.
STEP ONE: Purchase celebratory "Clean Out Your Fridge Day" cake.
Fortunately, wreckerators have provided us with LOTS of options. For example:
;)
I think it used to be a hot dog.
;)
No worries; just scrape that into a bowl and get me a straw. [eyebrow waggle]
;)
Welp, looks like the ants are about done with it. Your turn.
;)
So which is worse: corn chips in chocolate icing or refried beans on a cake?
Inquiring minds want to know.
;)
Please don't let those be tongues.
;)
I demand to see Life's manager.
[ahem]
STEP TWO: Now that you've acquired your "Clean Out Your Fridge Day" cake, it's time to open the door to your refrigerator. Don't be afraid, now. Go on!
(By the terrifyingly talented Debbie Does Cakes)
o.0
STEP THREE: Slam the door and just eat out for the rest of your life.
Thanks to Amy S., Ashley A., Kelly S., Charisse O., Melissa T., Sarah B., & Modee, who would like to remind everyone that it is ALSO National Recycling Day, but, no. Just... NO.
Reader Comments (65)
Love all living things
no matter how gross: maggots,
ants, wreckerators . . .
Sung to the Hokey Pokey
You put the hot dog in
You take the ice cream out
You give the ants a spin
And you swirl poo beans about
You pray those aren't tongue carrots
And your lemonade's in doubt
They went the maggot route.
What the heck is that last thing? Is it cake? Are those maggots supposed to be part of the decoration? Who would order candy maggots on a chicken leg cake? (My brain refuses to consider options for what else it might be)
Oh...hrrk! Oh goodness! Something told me to hold off on breakfast this morning. I'm certainly glad I did!!
OMG what ever you do. Do not google image search maggot cake. Just don't.
#1 That does look like a real hotdog. Ew!
#2 What a mess, but you've featured worse.
#3 and #4 *Gag*
#5 I love frosting as much as the next frosting-o-phile, but did they really need to pipe an extra inch of it under the writing on this cake instead of just writing on the cake itself? Don't get me wrong- I still want a piece from that side.
#6 "If I keep smiling, maybe no one will notice the tears."
#7 WTH?! Is that a cake or a screen shot from Poltergeist? Who would want something like that?! *Hurl*
This site has conditioned me to expect The Worst. So when I saw Cake #2 I thought at first it was a weird pregnant belly cake. That expectation made the actuality much less repellent.
That last cake. I'm having an EC comics ("good lord!" "*choke*") moment.
Some people should not be allowed to go near food items, nor to express their "creative" impulses.
Could someone enlighten me as to why on God's green earth there is a football in there with the corn chips?
Sharyn and Haiku joy lolol :D as for those cakes-AAAUUUGGHHH D:
I'd rather have tortilla chips on my cake, I think, as salty and sweet go together a bit better than refried beans and sweet. >.>
Fondant maggots, FTW!!!!!
So, the weird "tongue" cake disturbs me much more than the maggots. I truly do not understand the tongue cake. What?? Why? There seems to be carrots piped along the middle of the cake too.
I think this site has tainted me as well. Like drgns4vr, I didn't think #2 was too bad at first. Then, I saw the brown goo under the cake. Oh.
Yay! You finally got the website working! Welcome back!
OK, I've learned the hard way that you shouldn't eat or drink while reading GpCake Wrecks, because it's hazardous to your keyboard and computer screen. And your nostrils/throat when you choke. So I waited til after breakfast today. Ugh. Should have read it before.
colleenoz: I didn't even notice the football. They mystery of this cake deepens.
That last thing: Please, Jen, tell me you whipped out your phone and photographed this thing on the way from the fridge to the garbage. Please. Because this can't be a cake. . . . . . (Whimpering)
I love the lemon cake, even if it is a CCC. At least it made me smile!
Still internally snickering over the "carrot" cake.
Is that last one seriously a.... cake?? That someone is supposed to EAT??!! Hrk
@Sharyn -- LOVE that one - thank you!
i think two of those "ants" are actually spiders... ick.
My Least Favorite Things
Hot dog with black spots and white moldy patches,
Melted old ice cream that nobody snatches,
Melon infested with ants and something with wings
These are a few of my least favorite things.
Corn chips in brown stuff that reminds me of poop,
Along with some green glop and yellow to scoop,
A football (touch-brown!) and some orange looking string,
These are a few of my least favorite things.
Bright yellow linguis are licking some nuts
A sad yellow lemon with an eye leaking pus,
Maggots on drumstick (they’ve finished the wings)
These are a few of my least favorite things.
When the mold grows
When the bugs come
When it all turns bad
I simply just toss my least favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad
What I find fascinating about the last one is not that someone ordered a half-eaten-fried-chicken-leg-with-maggots-on-it cake, but that someone was skilled enough in cakeistry to pull it off rather well.
I would say refried beans would be worse. At least if it's corn chips in chocolate, there might be some localized alteration of flavor, but the rest should be fine. Whereas, if it's refried beans, that whole section is unsuitable for cake and should be relocated to the dips or taco fillings section of the table.
That last cake.....WHYYYYYYYYY?! Who in their right mind ordered this!?
OMG I could have happily lived forever without seeing that maggot... cake.
Those two words are completely wrong in the same sentence let alone together in some nightmare excuse for a baked product.
That one so needs a NSFL warning tag... =/
Colleenoz: it seems it's theoretically supposed to be a Superbowl cake, depicting Superbowl snacks. A very bad idea, executed even worse.
I thought that last cake was rice. Then I looked closer. WHY did I look closer? Ew.
Have you ever tried corn chips and buttercream? Don't knock it, it taste like kettle corn.
Maggot cakes... for those who don't want to share.
Today is also National Philanthropy Day, so I'm giving everything in my fridge to a deserving individual.
Haiku Joy, Sharyn, and Sir Laffsalot FTW!!! BAHAHAHA!
Clearly the "tongue" cake is being misunderstood. Based on the polite blessing scripted onto that ginormous mound of frosting up top there, I think we can safely assume the cake was meant to wish Kathy a quick recovery from her cold/flu/plague... Or whatever illness is causing her to sneeze up those giant, orangey phlegm wads.
See? Now, aren't you glad they don't look like tongues anymore? You're welcome.
I just want to cry.
I see I'm not alone in automatically thinking Poltergeist with that last one. Very well done despite it's grossness.
Did anyone else notice that the watermelon cake only had one ant. The other 2 are spiders!
Kill it.
Kill it with fire.
I saw that last cake and immediately thought of "Poltergeist".
See mom?? I told you watching all those horror movies would pay off someday!
ok- that last cake. Is that a Poltergeist movie themed cake? It reminds me of the scene in the 1st movie where the camera crew is trying to catch the ghost and the guy on the crew is eating a chicken leg....
That is the only reason I could think of making a 1/2 eaten chicken leg cake w/ maggots on it.
Flaming Lemons! I love you Cave Johnson!
@ Sir Laffalot & Sharyn: LMBO!!! Those songs made my day!
You have to admit, if the customer actually ordered a chicken leg cake with fondant maggots, the baker did a good job because I cannot tell it that is a cake or not. *bleh*
Considering the annoying “salty and sweet go together” Food Network dittoheads, I’m surprised we don’t have chocolate covered corn chips by now. With bacon. [rolls eyes]
That last cake, if it is a cake... um, I may never eat again!
Looking at this after viewing the @cookingforbae Instagram = best diet ever.
I'd be willing to bet that last one was made for someone who's a fan of Poltergeist. Doesn't make it any more right, but that's what I thought of right away. *hurk*
I gotta say, I'm not convinced that last one was cake...the grain in the meat is .... I dunno. All I know is I once had a roomate who stashed old rotting food in a filing cabinet.
It was like the pit of despair.
Oh Sir Laffsalot -- well done! Well done!!
That last cake is well done, i must say. Kudos.
Hasnt anyone ever had red bean paste?? Lol. Its just sweetened mooshed up beans, really. Sweet with refried beans doesnt seem all that weird to me. So corn chips in chocolate frosting doesnt phase me either haha. Dunkeroos with corn chips instead of biscuits. Thats it.
I love the maggoty chicken leg! That is some amazing talent right there!!
Debbie Goard for the win. That last cake was lovingly done by Debbie Does Cakes
I've been half sick to my stomach all week. That last umm.. thing... totally did me in.
Thanks for reminding me I need to clean my fridge this weekend. O.O
@Sharyn ~ I just spun around in my chair :-)
@Sir Laffsalot ~ Now I'm spinning around in my chair AND singing! Good thing it's quite in the office today! Well done, sir!
@Craig or @KarateLady or whoever has the unsee machine. Please send it my way STAT!
The answer to which is worse, chips in frosting or refried beans on cake is actually option number 3.) Chips in poo on cake.
hiding in the back
in the corner dark and cold
leftovers morphing
forgotten food spawns new life
refrigerator food fail
If your fridge is smiling at you, I believe it is just grounds for leaving your house and fleeing as far as you can get. Maybe seek out a blue police box or UNIT. Because next it'll be wanting the vote.
On that last cake, I find it interesting not that somebody ordered the cake (well, actually that's warped, too, but not my point) but that the baker knew accurately how it should LOOK. As to how I know it's accurate, I refuse to answer on the grounds that the voices don't want me to. So there.
Bwah! Now I feel dumb -- I honestly did not realize the yellow ccc was supposed to be a lemon! I truly thought it was a misshapen banana!
Oh my, did I see a Portal 2 reference?