MASS HYSTERIA
September 20, 2012 Based on the wrecks I see each day, I'm starting to think most decorators are completely incapable of making a cake that looks like an animal. Any animal. In fact, I'm not entirely sure any of them have ever actually seen an animal. So as a public service, let's do a little review:
This... is a duck.
;)
This... is not a duck.
;)
[tilting head]
Nope. Not a duck.
This is a baby porcupine:
;)
I'm terrified, yet I would very much like to nuzzle him.
This is a baby Darth Maul:
;)
I'm terrified, yet I would very much like to eat his face.
This is a dog:
;)
You can tell because it looks a lot like a dog.
This... is a lemon... poodle...
;)
OF DOOM!!!
(It's a new breed.)
These are swans:
;)
They're totally necking.
(Hey, Jen! I made a pun!)
These are the fabled Golden Anteaters of Madagascar:
;)
I like to think they just finished slurping a spaghetti noodle.
;)
And this is the crumple-horned snorkack:
;)
"Fabulous, Harry, I love the crumples."
Thanks to Sarah A., Vanessa D., Carissa, Terri C., and Jared S., who know it's not easy making an Aladdin/Harry Potter mashup joke, but that's just the kind of dedication we have here at CW.
Reader Comments (76)
I think the swan cake looks like it was made with, you know, longing. Made by a person that really longed to see some swans.
Perhaps because they'd only heard of them by rough description.
OMG!!! The "elephant"....... it's anorexic. I'm so glad you told us what it was because I don't think I would have guessed otherwise. I now have to wipe my tea off my keyboard and monitor. I'm still laughing!
LOL Trista! Major props for the Firefly reference :D
That "porcupine" cake....eesh. Looks like someone was munching on some almonds and tripped near the display case. And obviously, rather than waste a perfectly good (good-ish) cake, management said "let's go with it!"
*eyes wide with wonder * ....You actually found a photograph of the Crumple Horned Snorkac! I have to tell Daddy! *runs off with her wand behind her ear as usual *
Excellent mashup. Loved it!
Sung to “Old MacDonald”
Wreckerators made a cake, ee-i-ee-i-o
And for that cake they made a …duck?
Ee-i-ee-i
No
With a pink beak here, that was cracked just so
Staring eyes, mesmerize, and it never blinks, those
Wreckerators wrecked a duck
Ee-i-ee-i-OH
Wreckerators tried again, ee-i-ee-i-o
This time they made a …porcupine?
Ee-i-ee-i -NO
Bumpy head is bad, cayenne sprinkles worse
He’ll kill you, with the Force, and you’ll need a hearse, those
Wreckerators mauled Darth Maul
Ee-i-ee-i-OH
Wreckerators baked once more, ee-i-ee-i-o
How hard is it to make a …dog?
Ee-i-ee-i-NO
Yellow ectogoo, eyes straight from a tomb
Presenting, to the world, “Lemon poodle of DOOM”
Wreckerators wrecked a dog
Ee-i-ee-i-OH
Wreckerators on a roll, ee-i-ee-i-o
This time it was a pair of …swans?
Ee-i-ee-i-NO
Golden Anteaters, making love not war
So very far from their native Madagascar
Wreckerators phoned it in
Ee-i-ee-i-OH
Wreckerators just gave up, ee-i-ee-i-o
You think that that’s an …elephant?
Ee-i-ee-i-NO
Pachyderm gene pool is under attack
It’s really not bad for a crumple-horned snorkack
Wreckerators must be stopped
Ee-i-ee-i-GO
It's a duck! Burn it!
That last one kinda looks like a purple Alf.
Great job, John (thoJ)!
Last night, I went through the CW archives with my boys (9 & 12). We had quite the giggle fest.
The U of K logo was the biggest hit. My youngest felt especially sorry for the "Inspiration vs. Persperation" wedding cake. "Oh, that's just sad!" I believe was his direct quote. I can't wait to show them these.
Cake Wrecks: Bringing families closer together, one wreck at a time! ;-)
I'm really struggling to understand this elephant. I first thought the long part was his body so the nostril thing was actually his booty (um, EW) but finally have settled on that the long part is his trunk with bitty feet underneath. I....just.....people.....no.
LOVE the Harry/Aladdin combo. :)
Great "Firefly"reference Trista! I agree.
Elephant, eh? And where is your evidence for that? I was thinking maybe ALF:
http://bandverde.files.wordpress.com/2012/09/espaciais.jpg
And once again Sharyn's choice of words leave me gasping for breath: "Pachyderm gene pool is under attack" is just sheer brilliance. (Didn't make me laugh as hard as "I demand the top bunk" but close enough.)
Sharyn, you are the master XD The decorators are visually impared, mentally impared, and emotionally impared-how else to explain these? O_o
*snort*!!
"Lemon Poodle..... of DOOM!"
Well now we know what happened with that now-famous Spanish fresco - the 80 year old woman was obviously a cake wreckerator in a former life.
Back in the Stone Age (to wit: The Early '90's), there might, conceivably, have been some excuse for a wreckerator unfamiliar with an animal to create some of these abominations. Now that we live in the P-G/W (Post-Google/Wiki) Era, there is NO EXCUSE AT ALL. NONE. N-O-N-E, NONE!!!!
... Well, except, of course, for a complete and total lack of anything even vaguely resembling artistic talent... I guess that would qualify...
Oh Sharyn that was your best song ever!! Thanks to you and John I will never get the words "Lemon Poodle of DOOM" out of my head today...or that song...
I scrolled quickly past the "elephant" after the first glance and decided there aren't enough hours in the day to decipher it.
I'm on the web looking for a "Lemon Poodle of Doom" breeder. I have to have one of those dogs!!! It will make a nice fashion accessory and scare that UPS delivery guy!
I think that first cake is supposed to be a replica of a tugboat decorated as a duck . . . that's, uh, been buried under mud and silt for decades. (Head tilt). No, never mind. I have no idea what it's supposed to be.
That elephant must be lonely... 'cause he ain't got no body!
If you told me the "swan" cake featured obscure Seussian creatures, I'd actually rather like it.
lol dog bone elephant...... wow........
There's no such thing as crumple-horned snorkacks! That's an erumpent horn! It's gonna blow!!!
Sorry but I think you meant "hedgehog" not porcupine. I mean, it looks like neither but hedgehog is most likely what they were going for!
I thought the elephant sort of resembled something else... a few parts of the male anatomy comes to mind. But, I would have never guessed it was an elephant!! Ewww!!!! My three year old asked me what the elephant was. I told her that it was supposed to be an elephant and she said "That lelephant scares me!!"
Sharyn, that was hilarious!!!! I love your songs!
You just won brownie points with me for the HP reference.
Love the Aladdin reference! You guys are the best!
Another great band name - The Lemon Poodles of Doom. Keep 'em coming.
The Harry Potter/Aladdin combination just broke my brain in the BEST way possible as I COMPLETELY heard the Genie!!
Just when I'm convinced you can't top yourself, you do! *bows*
If the swans had been gray they could have passed for a really good Loch Ness Monster :D
How sweet! A wedding cake for the Loch Ness Monster and I did not know she was even dating.
They called her a water beastie,
To locals she was known as Nessie.
They called her the Loch Ness monster,
But she was really just a spinster.
All alone she just swam and swam,
No happy ever after written by Grimm.
Until one day, much to her shock,
The monster of her dreams swam into her loch.
#1: not what he's quacked up to be, and can't be a duck -- he doesn't fill the bill...
#2: what a mess...but as the French say..."what quill be, quill be...."
#3: it must have been raining cat and dogs cakes and someone stepped in this poodle....
#4: hopefully this is the swan song for this baker....
#5: no wonder he's shapeless -- too much junk in the trunk....
That last cake looks more like ALF from 1980s TV. And now I feel ... very ... old.
Anything on Cake Wrecks that is "...of DOOM!" is always a winner for me. Add-in the Harry Potter/Sladdin mash-up, plus Sharyn's song? Major winner!
I almost spat cake all over my keyboard with the very first wreck. That's when you know it's a really good post.
(Yes, the irony of eating a slice of birthday cake WHILE cackling at CW is very sweet.)
@Sharyn - Being with a 2 yr old all day, your song especially hit home. A masterpiece!
Thanks Sharyn, I'm sitting here at my desk humming Ee-i-ee-i-NO. :)
That is SO not an elephant. I keep scrolling up thinking maybe I'm just missing something but...no. The wreckerator is missing something...like their eye glasses! If they were going for Snorkack however, I think they're pretty spot on...for a CCC.
No way that's supposed to be an elephant. You guys are always hilarious.
I read "Fabulous, Harry, I love the crumples." in the genies voice before I knew it was an Aladdin/Harry mashup joke! I had a good laugh.... In fact, I always have a good laugh when reading when reading this blog!
OMG! the "elephant" looks like a gray malformed penis!
My six year old son came over as I was looking at today's first wreck, tilted his head, and asked, "What is THAT?"
Really, what better qualifications do you to be a wreck?
Can we elect SHARON president instead of those other guys?
With Jen as chief of protocol & John (thoJ) as chief of whatever-he-wants?
Wreckies, flood the ballot boxes ! !
Peggy, RN
I think the porcupine cake looks more like a hedgehog. It's kind of cute. I hope they used cocoa powder or cinnamon instead of cayenne though I have heard it goes well with chocolate. I just wouldn't want to steal a fingerful of frosting then find out it is cayenne.
That duck cake terrified me though. Who made that and thought, "What a nice cake. Let's put it on display." ???
crumple-horned snorkack.... snicker!! love it! bet no one (except the Lovegoods) knew what one looked like!
It's not a Lemon Poodle - it's a Venezuelan Poodle Moth:
http://cosmiclog.nbcnews.com/_news/2012/08/27/13510167-bizarre-poodle-moth-fascinates-and-frightens-the-masses-online?lite
Your Harry Potter reference made my day!!! Thx.
You fooled me with your video link. Here is where I thought you were going:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmULz03wdQ0
Fun fact; Dog is one of the more difficult words for toddlers to learn. Because dashounds don't look anything like whippets, or St. Bernards. There's too much variety in one species. Which is why they usually go through a stage of referring to all quadrepeds as "doggie!". Lemon Poodle of Doom just fits right in.
I especially like the anteaters in love, wierd and sweet all at once.
Thanks John!
These are...ummm....mesmerizing... :/
Trista wins the comments. There's no need for me to say anything else. Kthxbai.