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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jul122012

At Least It's Not A Land War In Asia

 

My favorite part is how it's written BELOW the picture.

   

I almost want this baker to be color blind, just so s/he has *some* excuse.

 

Fortunately the baker of this wedding cake followed instructions literally:

See? She *did* write it!

 

Thanks to Robert B., Tenae Z. & Kate L. for falling victim to one the classic blunders. Just remember, guys: never go against a Simpleton when CAKE is on the line! HAHA HA HAHAH AHAH HA... [thud]

Oops.

 

 

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Reader Comments (57)

*Incredulous* "This whole time it was your cupcake that was poisoned?"

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

As you wish....

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Witch's Kitchen

it is so hard to believe that people in a bakery can be so stupid...

always a good laugh here...

warmest regards from Germany

Andrea

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMussipitz

...really?? Faith in Humanity = negative digits at this point. And I'm not even sure how that's possible!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

The title alone caused a spit take.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Sung to the Beatles’ “Hello Goodbye”

I said high, you wrote low
I said “Why?” You said “You said so.”
Oh no.
I said up high, and you wrote below, below, below
I don’t know why when I said high you wrote it low

I said green goes below
You said “Sure”, then you used yellow
Oh no.
I said use green and you used yellow, yellow, yellow
I don’t know why when I said green you used yellow.

Next one was hard to blow
“Literally, write ‘Wedding Cake’ just so.”
Oh no.
You wrote all the words I said just so. I have to go.
I can’t explain but I just really have to go.


Thanks, Jen! Princess Bride references are always the best way to start the day.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I always love Princess Bride days!!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDread Pirate Robyn

Why would someone want a cake that says "wedding cake" on it? What kind of situation would call for that?

Also, Sharyn, you just totally made my morning. That was awesome. :D

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSydney

Comment (in white).

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentergmarie

Goodbye. My name is insert name. You killed my cake. Prepare to dye.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Sharyn and gmarie bwahahaha :D I wonder how thoese people live-do they have to be reminded to breathe?? D:

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

The only way to make these any more a confluence of everything would have been to have one of the cake be a dreaded CCC!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterIsolder74

@Sharyn and @DB -- excellent. Thank you
These cakes are...... Inconceivable!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

Put the word headdesk in asterisks three times

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraV

As a long-time visitor I'm more than beginning to wonder how many of these "literal" cakes are intentional jokes on the part of the person buying them.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEmerson

It's posts like these that makes me want to
do something like this just to see the reaction
on people's faces, but then I remember that I
need and like my job so I don't.
Oh thinkgeek.com has iocane powder pint glasses
for all the princess bride fans

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna

Clearly, they're messing with us now.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterErica

These, along with crazy spellings, are my favorite kinds of wrecks. I could understand if a non-English-speaking decorator put the written directions on the cake, but these were obviously taken verbally. So the person who took the directions wrote down exactly what was said and the decorator piped what was on the paper? Shouldn't English be required for the job? Or intelligence? Sorry--forgot where I was.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

You guys are cracking me up! SaraV, gmarie, Maria, all y'all!

1) I don't think that is edible photo paper. I think they put the actual photo on the cake. If you just put paretheses around "above Picture", it still works!

2) Ok, fine they got the colors wrong and added extraneous words, but look what they did to Joe's name. Kned(yellowribbon)a Joe? What is that?

3) I'm with Sydney on this one. Unless it's some kind of inside joke, why would you write Wedding Cake on a cake?

Hi Craig! Glad to see you were not hurt in the Un-See Machine mishap. Also, I believe the word you were searching for yesterday (the MIB memory adjuster) is Flashy-Thing. As in, "Did you just Flashy-Thing me?!". It's a technical term. You're welcome. Also, hee! "This was a Sunday Sweets"! Very good.

Hey, look at me! I used less coffee grounds today and I'm not all wired and crazy. Go figure!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

What was that first one supposed to be? Is the team called "the Rays," and they wanted the name above the picture? Did they want rays of light radiating from the top of the picture? Or were they asking the decorator to "raise" the above picture so there would be more room below? I don't get it.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBob

These posts are why I come here just about everyday! Princess bride and the opportunity to mock the stupidity of others! Also, some of the best comments of any blog that i read. I always read them because I know they will just continue the hilarity of the post. Thanks for all the laughs.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSheri

- What IS that yellow "word" before Joe's name? Anyone?

- If the wreckerator hadn't written "Literally just write," would s/he have had enough blue frosting to finish the flower border?

- Have you noticed how many people misuse the word "literally?" Often, I do not think it means what they think it means. (I recently heard someone describing a loss in a recreational sports competition. Of the opposing team, she said "they literally killed us." She appeared to be alive at the time she said this, so maybe she had been only mostly dead.)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

Maria - BOTH cupcakes were poisoned. I spent five years building up a tolerance to Iocane CCCs.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBadKarma

Isolder74, it's is worse - the first "cake" is a CCC!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

I'd like to think if this happened to me, I'd ask to see the person who wrote it and then point and laugh at them for at least a full minute, then catch my breath and walk out. (Did the unfortunate people who ordered these still pay for them??)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeth

W.O.U.S.s? (Wreckerators of Unusual Skill)? I don't think they exist.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTricia

Wow, I literally LOL at the middle one and that rarely happens. Maybe a smile or chuckle, but almost dropped the laptop laughing this time. Even woke up the sleeping dog who glared at me and laid his head back down! What is wrong with people!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather J.

"Bye by boys, have fun decorating the cake."
"Think they'll get it right?"
"Not a chance."
"Buh bye"

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBeesMom

This is the "Literally just write 'Wedding Cake' on it" cake and this the 'Literally just write 'Birthday Cake' on it" cake. We're still working on the "Literally just write 'Just for the Cake of it' cake".

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMimiheart

#1 Maybe the wreckerator was confused because the customer didn't specify what kind of rays to put: manta, sting, cosmic, gamma, x, mind control, etc.

#2 Xappy Birthday, Knella Joe. Can't buy the color blind theory, since the daisies are almost competently done.

Did you ever check the spelling, Knella Joe, Knella Joe
Did you ever check the spelling, Knella Joe
Did you ever check the spelling, Knella Joe, Knella Joe
Don't mind the colors, so the cake will blow.

Hop up, my wreckies, three in a row
Hop up, my wreckies, three in a row.
Hop up, my wreckies, three in a row
Don't mind the instructions, so the cake will blow.

#3 Customer a tad on edge? I can't imagine why.
Wreckorator: "What would you like written on it?"
Customer: "Wedding Cake."
W: "Yes, it's a wedding cake -- what would you like written on it?"
C (getting testy): "Wedding Cake."
W: "Wedding Cake?"
C (exploding): "LITERALLY JUST WRITE, "WEDDING CAKE"!!!!!" <click>
W (to self): "I can tell this is gonna be a freebie anyway, so might as well have some fun with it..."

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

Those decorators should find themselves unemployed -- in GREENLAND!!!!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrudy

Hi, Andrea. Un-See Machine mishap? I have no recollection of that. There was some kind of problem with the power, then...?

Maybe I'll comment on today's cakes later -- right now, I'm craving chocolate milk for some reason.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

They keep using those words. I do not think they mean what they think they mean.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

How do you know the order didn't say,

Literally just write "Literally just write "Wedding Cake"

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterileafevan

In defense of the bakers, although this is just barely a defense... My very first job was in a bakery. I remember that at first we wrote whatever people told us to write. Then there was a complaint about spelling (it wasn't me!). As a result we were told to have people write down what they wanted on the cake. A few days later we were told to make sure people knew to write down exactly what they wanted on the cake and only what they wanted on the cake.
Many years later, I have discovered that many local bakeries still follow this policy. I was recently told very clearly that whatever I wrote on the paper would be written on the cake exactly as I wrote it. Any further directions had to be written on a seperate sheet of paper. I have also been to bakeries that have a form that has a special place for directions.
Seriously, if a person cannot figure out which part of "write Happy Birthday in yellow icing" should be written on the cake, then I am not so sure I want to eat anything they cooked!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEm

So here's my guess on the "Wedding Cake" one. The couple in question was having a small wedding. In order to save on the expense of the wedding cake, they decided to just get a sheet cake. Knowing that at least one of their mothers would be horrified that they didn't have a "Wedding Cake" they decided to label a simple sheet cake as a wedding cake so they could say, "See, we did have a wedding cake. It even says it is a wedding cake."
Now, toss all of these cakes into the fire swamp.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRikki

I honestly can't decide whether the fact that you continue to receive material like this is funny or just sad. I'm leaning towards hilariously sad. How can there be that many idiots working in bakeries?! Or do they all come from the same one?

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Oh the flowery yellow and green one...................OH OH OH I am crying from laughing!!! Thanks!!!!!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMichelle

They fell for some of the classic blunders!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristina

Anyone around here been building up a resistance to cupcake cakes? ...Anyone???

[crickets]

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterObey

"Cakewrecks? I don't believe they exist..."

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRAVENSGAL

Dagnabit, Thinkgeeks is out of the iocane powder pints. I didn't know it until Ana mentioned them, but now I NEED them.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKay

Please say you've found out that these were all done on purpose in hopes of cakewrecks.com stardom.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisa

Aside from being horrified by the mind-boggling errors, I'm also sickened by that black piping border thing on the first cake. I'd be terrified to even cut it, let alone EAT it.

Isolder74, if you look at the edges, I think this tragedy is also a CCC. Aren't those cupcake paper cups? The trilogy is complete.

Witch's Kitchen: Thank you for starting Princess Bride quotes!

gmarie and DB: Wonderful! Perfect for the post!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

I started doing the list of "@so-and-so -- that was so funny" posts, and realized I was pretty much in awe of every comment that got posted today, so instead of calling everyone out individually, I'm just going to say I LOVE CW commenters! They're the frosting on this Sunday Sweet of blogs. (I'm SO excited I finally get to hang out with the cool kids...)

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I just love the whole in green/in yellow bit. At least they got the colours right instead of picking random ones!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternikki

Something about the first cake seemed wrong, but the second one was just write.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLawlady

@Andrea You are so brave!! Maybe Craig doesn't have all the kinks worked out yet.

I want to go with Rikki's explanation about the "wedding cake" cake.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

Inconceivable....how people can wreck such cakes!!! Love Princess Bride references. Keep 'em coming...wrecks & PB references!!!

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTiner

Clearly this is a case of some decorators who stopped to think... and forgot to start again.

July 12, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

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