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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Jun072012

Reading Comprehension -101

"Yes, I'd like it to read, 'Congrats, Michelle! You're graduated!" with green leaves all over, to match the invitations."

  (Now make like a tree, and GET OUT OF HERE.)

 

"And write '2011' somewhere on the cake, too."

(Sometimes I choose to believe the baker was just being a smart ass. It makes it less sad, and more like something I would do. :D)

 

"Hi, I'd like this graduation cake design here, but could you move the plastic grad cap more to the middle? And then write '2011' where the hat would be?"

(I'm not sure what that thing below Connor's name is - maybe a stethoscope?)

 

And now, your final exam: what happens when you order a cake with silver and gold accents for a school's graduation luncheon?

 

Ding ding ding!

You get an A PLUS IN RED PEN!

 

Thanks to Emma, Michelle H., Mandy P., & Edward H. for sponsoring today's School of Wreck.

« Beachy Keen | Main | Grad Tidings of Great "Oy!" »

Reader Comments (48)

Well, it's 2011 somewhere...

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Thanks for these, my office is getting a kick out of the horribly misspelled graduation cakes! And by the way, thanks for working in another BttF quote. They make me smile. Every, Time.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterME

It hurts me.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJoan

What, no wrecks this year? Or has it taken a year for the shock to wear off before these cakes could be posted?

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEileen

Wow. I mean, really? Okay class, let's begin *whips out her red pen*
FIrst cake - A+ for enthusiasm, you worked in 3 exclamation marks but F for presentation-slime green icing is NOT appealing and an F- for spacing, poor spelling and not following directions properly.

Second cake - A+ for spelling "congratulations" correctly! B+ for piping work, very nice border and handwriting. However, D for lack of common sense.

Third cake - No credit for flotsam use and an F for not even attempting to use your brain. Also I have to deduct even more points for that unidentifiable object under Connor's name - What the FERN is that?

Fourth cake - A for beautiful flowers and piping but you fail miserably in the comprehension department. Another congrats for good spelling though!

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGrnEyes6

Oh no. Just when I think people couldn't get any dumber. It's the end of civilization as we know it.
Ever seen the film, "Idiocracy"?

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne Dargie

None of these people graduated, gladulated, or anything in between :/

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Sung to “Pinch Me” by the Barenaked Ladies (for you, @Ela)

Not the perfect cake, I fear
I can tell from over here
It should feed us all, I guess
It’s too bad that it’s such a mess
Grab some pictures and then tweet
“I don’t think it’s a Sunday Sweet”
I try hard not to deride
But you’ve committed cake-i-cide

It’s like a dream, then realization starts to dawn, and I
Start to scream, but all the wreckerators yawn, as I
See the stupid cake that I just paid for
Just in time I see the wreckerator smile, then I
Realize he just might have done it out of guile, just to
Show he doesn’t want to bake anymore

Please let me elucidate
The right way to spell “graduate”
It would help if you could read
And not just pipe the shapes you see
I guess I should be aware
I did say to write it “somewhere”
Did you think that it looked right?
Smart ass or just not too bright?

It’s like a dream, then realization starts to dawn, and I
Start to scream, but all the wreckerators yawn, as I
See the stupid cake that I just paid for
Just in time I see the wreckerator smile, then I
Realize he just might have done it out of guile, just to
Show he doesn’t want to bake anymore

Dear me
Dear me
I want to weep
Is he
Just dumb
Or is he a creep?

On a sheet cake such as this
I know sometimes you can’t resist
Just to write all the words down
Your brain cells have gone underground
What’s that symbol under there?
I just made you say “underwear”
Who cares what the gold words say?
The kids’ll eat it anyway

It’s like a dream, then realization starts to dawn, and I
Start to scream, but all the wreckerators yawn, as I
See the stupid cake that I just paid for
Just in time I see the wreckerator smile, then I
Realize he just might have done it out of guile, just to
Show he doesn’t want to bake anymore

Try to figure out what this cake is for
Can’t believe this cake is what I paid for
Maybe he just shouldn’t bake anymore

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I probably shouldn't have looked at these since I have to make two graduation cakes tonight.

*don't mess them up. don't mess them up. don't mess them up*

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterThe Witch's Kitchen

These are just so sad, but I think the saddest thing is the plastic "Congr2ts Grad!" flotsam on cake #3. We've seen that before on other cakes. Surely, whichever store uses that design would've noticed the mistake on it and sent out new designs to replace them. The stores would've been told to throw out the designs with the mistake, wouldn't they? Maybe?

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenternormajean

YAY michelle 'gradatated!'

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterPandaLove

That first cake should say, "Congrats, Michelle! You've been degraded!" because that's what happens to people appearing on such cakes. Poor thing!

(Did the theme have leaves to emphasizing the "leaving high school" thing?)

Possible interpretations of the TUC (Thing Under Connor):
1. The letter "P" - maybe his last initial?
2. The letters "VP" to indicate that he will one day become a Vice President? (Way to shoot for second best!)
3. If you look at it sideways, a duck quacking up at him
4. If you look at it sideways, Roz from Monsters, Inc. in profile.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDB

Sharyn, you are, yet again, my hero. I love BNL!!

It hurts my brain to think that there is even a possibility that the same person did the roses and the writing on the "lunch in " cake.
Those roses are beautifully done and then the cake got wrecked by someone else, right?

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDread Pirate Robyn

Oh muh gawsh Sharyn, I loooove the Barenaked Ladies. Not barenaked ladies in general, mind you, let's just get that straight. It's a habit of mine,also, to parody every song i hear. Also, thuper post today. funny stuff. I am building up a healthy callous on my forehead from all the *headdesk* moments.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda G.

My eye hurts. Perhaps I should stop sticking this pencil into it.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Wait... does the plastic flotsam on the one cake say "congr2ts" ?? The glare makes it a little hard to tell...

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelissa

Suzanne, I work with the public on a daily basis. I'm LIVING Idiocracy :|

Somedays I swear I've lost all shredded vestiges of faith I once had in humanity...

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Sharyn, bwahahaha XD XD

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

I cringed over the cakes, and was giggling over Sharyn's song when I came to Fluffy Cow's comment and I spit out my drink ... I'll be spending the rest of day cleaning my keyboard, thanks!

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterDegera

Oh my goodness, I think I herniated myself when I read, "Now make like a tree and get outta here!"

Your blog and most especially your comments never have once failed to make me laugh until I cried. At any point in time I can sit down and count on you to make a bad day good and a good day great. For that I thank you!

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCindy

Well, let me tell you, if your GRADA TED comes over and gets leaves everywhere, I'll be yelling, too.

Wreckerator is a big country music fan and couldn't resist.

*headdesk*

Someone forgot how to make an "I" in cursive.

I'm reminded of Marlin from Finding Nemo when Squirt gives him directions, "[to Dory] It's like he's trying to speak to me, I know it. [to Squirt] Look, you're really cute, but I can't understand what you're saying. Say the first thing again".

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

The cakes are just sad, but I love the Back to the Future reference!

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTrekkie Gal

@Sharyn: wundebar!

@DB: I thought it looked like a dragon in profile or seamonster.

@ Fluffy Cow: Hee!

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Ha ha! Love me some Biff quotes.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJenn

Awwww THANKS Sharyn!!! You ROCK!!! And thank you for thinking of me.
Can't believe this is what I paid for! I think that line applies to most of the cakes that end up on CW, with the exception of Sunday Sweets.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEla

If I chose, I could say something nice about each one of these: "Mmmm, free cake!"

If I chose...

#1 First line: No comma. Second line: No apostrophe, no 're', no u, no sense of proportion. Third line: No sense at all. Cake in general: No sale.

#2 '"2011" somewhere' was a late addition after the wreckorator spent 20 minutes being berated by the customer for not including it in the first place. Good thing the customer missed the random capitalization in the name.

#3 The banner looks like a ransom note. "We have your real cake. Instructions will follow."

#4 This graduating class decided to do something really subversive and occupy a building around noon, then begin to eat food they had either brought with them or purchased on the premises. Of course, the overall effect was diminished somewhat when someone realized the building they had chosen to occupy was the cafeteria. Their choice of 'silver and gold' as a slogan also needed work. A spokesman for the group said, "We didn't want to go too radical -- it might hurt our employment chances." The 10s just aren't the 60s, it seems.

CrAig (Not fictional. Except for the weird capitalization.)

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

@Sharyn: "But you've committed cake-I-cide."

Best. Line. Ever. I think they should set up a cake-I-cide hotline based on this post and that line alone. It would be swamped by the poor victims of these cakes.

As for Connor's cake: the flotsam may look like a 2 because of the light reflecting off the cover. Maybe. If we're lucky.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

Here's my benefit of the doubt on TTUC (The Thing Under Connor): I myself have for years used two Japanese characters in my signature. Only Japanese kindergarten stuff, not the much more complex kanji, but they spell out "Sara" and make my signature REALLY hard to fake. Maybe this is something like that...?

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

I've been lurking for a bit and I am posting to say that I, too, about fell over at Fluffy Cow's comment. Also, I threatened to send one of the wrecks from yesterday's installment to my BFF when she gradulates.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

@Fluffy Cow -- Could you please apologize to my cats? I woke them up when I snorted at your comment. (Inigo fell off the table. It wasn't pretty.)

You summed up the situation perfectly. Brava!

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

@doodlebug: Welcome! When you post your first comment, you get a quick tutorial from Craig on Room 101, a lesson in Pig Latin from Sharyn and a kevlar vest made at EPBOT. Don't worry, though. We've never had to use the kevlar vests, what with KarateLady around. You may not see her, but she's here. *whispering* - She's a ninja.

@ EDITOR(JthoJ): I expect you to repost this for each first-time commenter (because you CLEARLY don't have enough to do if you are getting to sleep as early as 3AM).

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

I like to think the first cake is trying to say "Congrats Michelle! You are grade A Ted!" not that I have any idea what grade A Ted is, but somehow it makes my brain feel better.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMom A

Even worse than typos in cakes, which are not permanent. Typos in diplomas:

http://usnews.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2012/06/07/12105406-maryland-high-schools-toss-8000-diplomas-over-spelling-error?lite

At least they caught it before the ceremonies1

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTLC

@FluffyCow freakin' awesome

@Andrea :D that was excellent!! let us know if Mr. ThoJ starts spamming you after 3am to prove he's still up.

@Sharyn can't decide what's better: "cake-i-cide" or you cat being named Inigo...

@CrAig I can't remember my funny comment as it took too long to type your name that way- my fingers just wouldn't do it! assume I was pithy.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

On the third cake, I don't really think it's a 2. I think it's a lowercase a with the bottom-right section obscured by the glare.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

@Barbara Anne: I was gonna say, "Don't give Mr. ThoJ any ideas", but I'm fairly certain he would have/has thought of that already. Also: for soooome reason, whenever someone says "pithy" I start craving oranges. ; )

@CrAig: Hee! My favorite line: "We have your real cake. Instructions will follow."

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAndrea

Having already grad-ated (mumble-mumble decades ago), I would rather receive one of these cakes just for the chuckles.

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterEm

I got eye strain trying to read all these cakes. You make me afraid to order a cake with writting on it in fear that they are going to write exactly what I say. lol

June 7, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTerrie

2011, where hat would be. Well, if it is otherwise when I find it, I shall be very... put out.

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLindarella

ChEESE-LA-WEEZ!!! you would think these people would READ before writing! fricken ridiculous people writing everything out. sorry, had to get that off my chest. and you know now one is fired over these ;) LOL

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterStephWI

I seriously hope those 2011 cakes were not made for this year lol. Maybe the wreckerators went back in time..which could explain quite a few things. But why on earth are they putting everything the customer said onto the cake? Do they really want them to cry..or die laughing? I can never tell especially when clowns are involved.

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

Sadly, someone I went to school with (and who works in the education field) referred to their afternoon school banquet as a 'lunch in'.

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAbigail

these wording mishaps have to be from people whom english is not their native language. If these errors are made by born and raised Americans, our school systems have failed HORRIBLY!

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterML

I love Cake Wrecks!
@ sharyn: I'm a fan!
What I want to know is do these baking cake wrecking people get fired? Just yelled at? Do the customers get their money back?

I do enjoy the comments. Sometimes I don't know which I laugh harder at, the cakes or the commentary.

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKMAAM

C'mon folks, the "thing" under Connor's name is CLEARLY a mortarboard! See the tassel coming off the side? And the button do-hickey in the middle?

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLooneyBinRN

They can't be this stupid, the bakers must be playin' us...

June 8, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKristen55

What? no one has mentioned the poo-palm trees? ok maybe it's just me and the brown icing fixation.

June 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLEn

What is up with the congratulations sign on the third cake from the top? Inquiring minds must know!

February 5, 2013 | Unregistered CommenterCourt J.

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