A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
October 9, 2012 It can cause an e-coli outbreak...
;)
...from across the room.
It calls each of its polyps...
;)
...by name.
It once made a dermatologist cry.
;)
It is...
;)
...the Least Appetizing Cake in the World.
"I don't always appear on blogs, Brooke B., but when I do, I prefer Cake Wrecks."
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Reader Comments (69)
Is it a post apocalyptic wolf trying to stop a volcano from blowing up an wiping out the last of the fish tank forest??
WTH is that supposed to be?!? Usually I can kinda guess what the baker was going for. Here, I got nothing. Is that a dog?? Coming up from a sewer?? I mean, seriously WHAT THE HECK!?
Boake. That may have been a dessert at the Big Bang Burger Bar which was lost, found, sat on, digested, buried in peat for about a billion years and finally recovered by a lazy Wreckorator who thought it'd make a fine addition to their display window.
I repeat. Boake.
Message ends.
the big question remains what was it SUPPOSED to be?
Ewwww!!! Altogether, the cake wasn't SOO bad, if they had just done a slightly better job with colors. At least, I don't think I could have done better!!
(To the tune of "Rubber Duckie")
Gross and Icky, you're the one
You think E. Coli's lots of fun!
Gross and Icky, I'm awfully sick of you!
woah, woah, eek, oooh!
Gross and Icky, even to boys!
When I squeeze you, do you make noise?
Gross and Icky, with polyps and disease
It's true!
Bloop-bloop-de-bloopity!
Every day when I
Make my way to the Cake Wrecks!
I find a nuther fella who's
blue or yella or MUDDY!
ugh-ug-ug, yucky!
Gross and Icky, I'm not fine!
Since I discovered that you're mine!
Gross and Icky, I'm awfully sick of you.
Every day when I
Make my way to the Cake Wrecks!
I find a nuther fella who's
blue or yella or MUDDY!
ugh-ug-ug, yucky!
Gross and Icky, I'm not fine!
Since I discovered that you're mine!
Gross and Icky, I'm awfully sick of...
Gross and Icky, jump into a pond, please...
Gross and Icky, I'm awfully sick of you!
bloop-bloop-de-bloop
Okay, here's what I *think* it was supposed to be: a wolf howling under the moon from a hilltop.
Unfortunately, it more closely resembles a miserable vomitous mass. Of something rescued from a fire in the bakery. A hundred years ago. In Greenland.
Eeewwww. The most unappetizing cake in the world, sitting next to a pitcher of neon green lemonade (if that's what it is). Ugh. I can't look at this any longer.
I was thinking it was a seal or an otter, but I can't figure out what it's supposed to be coming out of? I think it's giving the baker too much credit if we call it a wolf howling at the moon. I'm dying to know the story behind this cake!
That's a howling DOG on top??! I thought it was a brown bear, and I thought he was 'straining'....
*shudder*
Dear lord, you finally found a chocolate cake I would not eat D: Sharyn, thanks for trying to perk it up XD but still, overall DX
Oh my god, what is that thing?!
I think it might be a prarie dog.
PD
I don't ordinarily comment, but holy *badword* that is the grossest thing I've ever seen!!!!
Do you think someone actually ATE it??
*puke*
Anyone else keep seeing a mournful seal wearing an Elizabethan collar and a sombrero? Trying to extricate him/herself from a prairie dog hole? (After the apocalypse?)
I thought it was supposed to be a groundhog - for all the faboo groundhog day parties that everyone throws???
I really need there to be meaning here so my eyebrows can unknot.
It looks like a badger. A badger carrying a parasol.
"Blink"
"Blink"
"Blink"
Got nothin'
Prarie dog or meerkat?
I like it! ...I'll just go and sit over here on my own.....
Good job on the homage to Dos Equis! Today's parody is just so spot on! (Wish I were as clever as you...)
I think my favorite is to look at this blog with my 3 year old. His comments are priceless.
Mongoose: "I don't usually wear a sombrero, but when I do, I wear it while burrowing through a burnt marshmallow artfully decorated with the rejected Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans (flavours: raw kidney, bile, suspicious skin mole) and plastic agave plants."
Stay grossed out, my friends.
I kept trying to figure it out but it hurt too much to look at it.
What is most intriguing, though, is that it is clearly on a table, at some sort of event, and apparently ready to be served--as in, gulp, eaten. Really?
@Stephi, "Post Apocalyptic Wolf" is the name of my new rock band, thanks to you.
What on earth is that??? An ROUS in the Fire Swamp that's been partially digested?
Stephi, you had me at "fish tank forest." buwhahahahahahahaha
I thought it was supposed to be a cake for groundhog's day at first, but after looking at it further, I'm not sure.
Strangly enough, I am not absolutely repulsed by this. My only conclusion is that this cake (I'm assuming there's a cake in there) is so horrendously inedible that it actually managed to short-circuit the disgust cells in my brain. Well done, Cake Wrecks. Well done.
Sweet heavens, what is that THING? 0_o *runs away screaming*
I don't know, that jello/slime/cucumber/lime thing in the background it pretty freaky, too.
I *think* it's a Groundhog's day cake.
I just cried out a phrase the moment I saw the whole item, but I think Wesley says it so much better
"...every shriek of every child at seeing your hideousness will be yours to cherish, every babe that weeps at your approach, every woman who cries out:
'DEAR GOD, WHAT IS THAT THING?'
will echo in your perfect ears..."
Groundhog day cake? I don't know. That's my best guess. I can't look at it anymore.
It's an incontinent lion, sitting on a bird's nest, in a mudflat. Surrounded by...slugs.
@Andrea - Ha ha ha! Mongoose. :)
I don't know what this says about the way my brain works, but it looks to me like Splinter sneaking out of the sewers while the Turtles are busy eating pizza. He's had enough of those pubescent reptiles and is looking for a night on the town! Or, on the pile of dung-like cake. Whatever.
I've enlarged it...
And I *think* that, if the cake's picture was taken from a different angle you would clearly see what is supposed to be a Coyote or Wolf howling at the moon on top of a ridge of some sort.
That brownish thing I first thought was a mushroom, when the pic is made larger, looks like a wolf and the white thing behind it, I do believe is a cookie which is supposed to be the moon.
...Just my guess though. LOL
I wish I could see it from the other side just so I could stop trying to figure out what the heck that round white thing is. I just keep thinking, why on earth is there a kitchen timer glued onto the . . . creature???
BWA, HAHAhahAHahAHAhahahahAhahahaha.... (That was for the commentary, not the vomitous mass masquerading as a cake).
That's a honey badger! And clearly, the baker didn't give a *%#&
Well, it could be a dire wolf struggling free of the La Brea Tar Pits-surrounded by pulsating pustules of...DOOM.
@zoomom: Heh, I was thinking Rikitikitavi, but I can totally see the image of Splinter you described. : )
@Audax: Teehee!
@ Andrea: "Suspicious skin mole"... awesome! That actually seems like it would be a Bertie Bot's bean.
@ Rach: LOL!
I... I... Um... I don't understand. That's cake? *Tilts head* What is the thing on the top? And, really, that's...cake?
Nice post, Sharyn! Perfect parody (even if it isn't in song form). ;-)
And I'm going with volcanic wolf god. "Not THE god, just a god."
I thought it was a tree pooping out a chess piece.. at least I hope it's a tree.
@Andrea~ The sound that just came out of my mouth wasn't good. Neither was the feeling of my lunch trying to make a return trip. Your Bertie Botts beans just about did me in.
I can't even look at that cake again. I think I'm going to go lay down for a little bit and see if this icky feeling passes.
I was going to quote Wesley here but Slomo.seagull beat me to it. Instead, I'll just pour some bleach into my eyes and wish that it wasn't dinner time.
Great post, Sharyn!
Good God! It’s like they somehow frosted and stuck all the flotsam on BEFORE baking, and then WAY overcooked (i.e.: totally burnt) it!
Well, is there another, more plausible explanation?
I'm pretty sure I saw male genitalia and a sombrero in a pile of poop. That can't be right, but I'm not looking again.