Bakin' Memories
October 18, 2012 So, you're getting married! Good work.
Now, the first thing you have to ask yourselves is this: "How do we make our cake memorable?"
And not just the "oh-that-was-such-a-pretty-cake" kind of memorable, either; I'm talking the "CALL-EVERYONE-WE-KNOW-AND-ALERT-THE-MEDIA" kind of memorable.
Allow me to offer a couple suggestions.
- You could dance on the head of Cousin Itt:
Or possibly a large hay stack.
- You could plaster a plaster cast of yourselves tongue-kissing on top of a badly-glued-together pair of sheet cakes:
(Hey, baker, that seam in the middle? SmoooOOooooth.)
Oh, and just to nip an impending Epcot in the bud, here's the uncropped version of Cousin It:
How much you wanna bet the guests were asking what a haystack had to do with all those pictures of mountains? :D
Thanks to Kate V. & Sten W. for the memories.
Note from john: I had to take down one of the cakes. It was horrible but not professional. Bummer.
Reader Comments (57)
Huh. I figured that in the Cousin It cake they were aiming for tree stump...never woulda guessed mountains.
Waaiit... is that?... Noo...
Close Encounters, you've been badly betrayed!
That's Devil's Tower in Wyoming. To give them the benefit of the doubt, I'm going to assume the bride & groom are huge "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" fans.
It's the mountain from Close Encounters!
So is that towering stack of hideosity olive drab, or blue grey? Is it actually The Hulk (who was blue grey in his first appearance)? Is the icing made of pureed Mood Rings? We gots ta know!
Sung to “(They’re Writing songs of Love) But not for Me”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnfUN6bBAg4
They’re wrecking cakes of love, as you can see
Haystack is flat on top – flat as can be
With tongues to lead the way
“Seams” it should be OK
The wreckerators say “No guarantee”
It was a foot too tall – now watch it sway
The grimace of the bride – what does it say?
We never will forgit
The memory of her snit…
… And Cousin It’s OK
At first I thought cake #3 and cake #4 were different cakes with the same large smudge on the bottom tier. I thought it was part of the "design." It was kind of disappointing to realize they were the same cake.
As for the Cousin Haystack cake: Perhaps all couples should place a photo montage next to the cake depicting what the cake is supposed to represent. There have been so many times that I've looked at a wreck and asked, "what the hell were they going for?" A photo might have provided an answer.
I'm sorry, but what the h… is that in front of the wedding "cake" being sliced (probably just before it toppled) by the grimacing bride? It looks like a 3 day-old loaf of raisin bread on the table. I'd love to know what the wedding theme was; "Bakery left-overs-we-have-known-and-loved" including mixing all the old colours of unused icing together to get that unusual shade of ble-echk?
So the Cousin It Cake Means Something, eh?
Do all the guests gets heaping piles of mashed potatoes?
I smell an Epcot approaching because you didn't seem to notice that is Devil's Tower that the cake was suppose to be. I cry for that baker as the potatoes in the movie did a better job.
The Devil's Tower cake? The Devil DEFINITELY won that battle. You can tell by the cake topper -- that bride and groom look like they're possessed!
And the other cake that looks green from one angle and purple from the other? Eeeeewwww. No wonder the bride is clenching her teeth. She's trying not to throw up on it. I'm just glad I didn't have to color balance those photos after the wedding!
I'm also dying to know what the swirly obelisk thing is in front of the seasick cake. A groom's cake?
Okay, look; I am a very dedicated fan of this blog. I (try) bake myself and come here for both comic relief and inspiration (Sunday Sweets.) I have never posted a comment however, because the writing is so funny that I figure I couldn't possible have anything to add.
Yesterday I had a really bad day. Nothing permenantly dramatic, but just one of those days that makes you feel as though there is just something WRONG in the world. I am trying to have a better day today but keep dwelling on yesterday.
The clenched jaw comment is what slammed the last nail in for me. I am giggling like an idiot. Screwed up my make up pretty badly. I have that whole Alice Cooper thing happening now. MAN, did I need a good Cake Wrecks giggle.
Thank you!
Maybe the "Close Encounters" cake was made for an aliens' wedding. Not too sure about that topper - can't tell if those two are even human. But what ever the species, one constant remains the same: the male obviously checking out the boobage on his bride.
Just so you know, it isn't It. It is Itt. If that makes any sense. Cousin Itt. I know because my Addams Family pinball machine tells me so.
What on earth is...I can't even think about where these people get their baking education from O_o
Sharyn teehee
The second one looks like two men.
[Editor's note- It is. -john]
Remember when you were a kid and you mixed all the water colors together and got that nasty color? Yeah, never thought it would be the inspiration of the color of a wedding cake!
Only 3 of 16 comments so far are Epcots. Less than 20%. WITH an explanatory photo. People amaze me.
a whole 'nother meaning to Devil's Tower - wow...
You know, that second cake looks like the same face on both halves. It's like he's kissing himself. Creepy!
Epcot away!
At first I thought the "Itt" cake was an homage to "Oklahoma," the musical. A wedding cake wreck featuring a wedding night wreck? That's weird.
The scene in question starts at approximately 2:00: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SBEaihjtu_A
And because that scene is kind of a downer, enjoy this clip (stay tuned for the end): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cQ9g62YE1N4
About the removed cake....why did it matter that the baker was not a professional?
[Editor's note- We actually try very hard to make sure the cakes we feature on the site are made by professionals. It wouldn't be fair or even funny to poke fun at a cake made by your sister or friend when she or he is not a professional baker. Hope that explains it. Have a great day! -john]
The plaster-cast wedding cake topper...because your wedding is too special for a photo-paper cake.
It looked like a giant petrified tree stump to me.
@bmbagain803: LOL! I totally thought that too! Way to ogle, there, Groom!
@Jen: Glad you are having a better day today! It is Cake Wrecks, not Love, that makes the world go round.
@Ela(from yesterday): I'll go have a look-see in room 101 and see what Theardare is up to....he's been awfully quiet lately...
@Sharyn: Brilliant, as always. : )
I missed the removed cake :(
Sharyn~ I had to look up that song, I like your version better :)
The Cousin Haystack cake? Ummm... I ... huh. I'm glad they did the photo thing because I would never have guessed it was supposed to be a mountain! The wedding wreck is just disturbing on so many levels.
Thanks Jen and John and the crew for doing what you do!
I did for real think that first cake was Devil's Tower - just not well executed
Perhaps they are avid rock climbers? It is an amazing geological site.
I also CAN'T believe ANYONE is that huge of a fan of Close Encounters
to actually get a cake made of it for their wedding!
I don't think the middle cake is two guys kissing. It looks more like an illustration from a health class textbook on how to properly inflate the lungs of the resuscitation dummy.
Oh! I get it! Covering up the seam between two sheet cakes with piles of icing will make the seam LESS noticeable! I clearly misunderstood. And the front edge doesn't have to be even, no one will even notice that.
Though I'm not crazy about the execution (the silver icing makes them look dead), I love the idea behind the second cake. Two groom's cakes being joined by a kiss for a gay wedding is a beautiful idea.
Oh joy! Is this the first gay wreck?
But -- there are no rainbows. How'd that happen?
If the guy in Close Encounters could sculpt that out of mashed potatoes, dirt from his yard, and his son's modeling clay....that couple clearly chose the wrong baker to re-create it.
I actually guessed Devil's Tower before scrolling down to the last photo (the flat top was a big clue), but this is the WORST depiction of columnar basalt I have ever seen. Any Geology 101 student could do better even after a post-finals drinking binge.
I totally knew that was Devil's Tower! A bad Devil's Tower, but DT nonetheless....
@Andrea: Wear flats...
So everyone's been so amazed at the first gay cake wreck, no one noticed the smushed roses on the left cake?! That seamless "seam" was bad enough, but to then be careless when packing the cake for transport, geesh, that's a wreck job all the way around! Cake Wrecks are truly non-denominational and fully inclusive, that's now been proven for sure! :-)
@Andrea - Thank you for volunteering to check on Theadare! There have been waaay too many "It's not a wreck" comments lately for Theadare not to do something! Did Craig send Theadare to a kennel for a vacation?! What gives?! And *good* Cake Wrecks lawyer-ing the other day, too! :-)
PS I have nothing to do with Theadare's possible disappearance. After my last encounter, I want as little to do with Theadare & Room 101 as possible! No more Barry Manilow/ Copacobana/ Pina Coloda songs for me!!
It's pretty bad when you have to put a photo near a cake so you know what it is. In 1000 years i would have never guessed it was Devils Tower and I just went there this summer!
I'm impressed that even having been provided with multiple views of Devil's Tower, the Wreckerator STILL managed to completely (expletive deleted) it up... That, folks, is TRUE dedication!
Long time lurker, 1st time posting... I hate to tell you guys, but I wouldn't consider the cake with the plaster kissers a professional cake. The two origional chocolate cakes are professionally made - I can tell you without a doubt they are Costco cakes (I work for Costco myself) - but it looks like someone bought 2 separate cakes of the same design, shoved them together, added the plaster kiss, & "frosted" together the seam; & I use the term frosted loosely! Costco only makes specific designs &, believe me, this is not one of them! Sorry guys, professional cakes in creation but not in design, which is where this wreck truely shines!
Yes I am getting married, and thanks to cakewrecks I am so scared for our cake! Maybe I should just read the sunday sweets for the next 11 months
hey i was going to guess devil's tower! i live about 30 miles from it lol
I'm so sad! I discovered Cake Wrecks a couple months ago and have been trying to get caught up ever since, starting at day one. Today I caught up. Now what am I going to do when I'm trying to waste time, since I hate Pinterest?
@Sharyn: Bwahahahaha!
Good thinking, Sharyn! I'll go barefoot instead! I just hope I'm ready for the inevitable "twist" at the end where the villain isn't quite dead yet. I'll make sure to pack a ball of yarn for that. Oh, KarateLady, thanks for reminding me! I'll wear my ear plugs!
OK! I'm all set. Be back soon.
Help me out -- what is an Epcot? (besides Disney, duh)
I'm also from Wyoming, so my first thought when seeing Cake #1 was that it was an attempt at Devil's Tower. I was pleased to see that I was right! I'll give the baker some credit, since a few of us did actually recognize it. However, the scaling is so off (only 3x taller than a human??) that it just looks wrong!
Tagging onto Mellybrown - who is Theadare & why is he in Room 101?
@CatTrampoline - post-finals drinking binge for the win!
"Takin' pictures is...makin' memories..."
Now that's stuck in my head!
You guys! Theardare is even more diabolical than I thought a fluffy, gun-toting kitty could be! He was down in Room 101 developing a device....*panting*....it's so horrible! When it's finished....THIS http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kYW9wnUqRk&feature=youtu.be&hd=1 will play directly in your brain, burning itself onto your eyelids and creating an eternal earworm! Oh, the humanity! Oy, that "shirt"! Luckily, I MacGyvered an explosive devise, using mainly spoons, and blew it up! I think he will be busy for a while with that ball of yarn, but I'll have to think of something a little more permanent.
@Mellybrown and bmbagain803: It would probably be easiest if you type in Epcot or Theardare in the search box at the top right of the page.
Theardare is a gun-toting kitty who doesn't like it when people on the board disagree that a cake is a wreck.
Epcot is what we refer to when the boards blow up, usually with different commenters saying the same thing over and over. A good example? Type King Cake into the search box. You may want to stand back before hitting enter. ; - )
Stephanie, have you discovered Epbot.com yet?
NO WAY !!!! That cake topper. Is the groom wearing a Richard Nixon mask, and is he dancing with Vera from the TV show "Alice"?
The comments are all over the place today! Speaking of the Epcots, where is Craig hiding?
Sharyn, Andrea, Mel, brilliant as always
Gil, you made me laugh til I snorted