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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Oct162012

What The H?

You guys, Halloween is coming!

Aw, don't be like that. Halloween is supposed to make you happy!

 

Not that happy.

 

I mean the kind of happy with spiders, specters, and spooks!

 Plus crying yellow earthworms!

 (How's that for a bait & switch?)

 

 Hang on; I think this is a spider:

The extra little legs drawn on the side were the give-away.

 

Oh! And mummies! Can't forget the mummies!

No matter how hard we try. 

 (You will never look at a foam clown nose the same.)

 

Not to mention a Halloween theme is PERFECT for first birthdays:

Because nothing celebrates the first year of life better than a bunch of tiny gravestones. Rest in peace, baby. 

 

And finally, zombies are the breakout stars this year, so you can expect to see lots of these:

Zombie Football Helmets.

"All the fun of vomiting Cookie Monster with none of the creativity!"

 

(The sad thing is it still looks more like a football helmet than the cakes that are supposed to.)

 

Thanks to Christy M., Emily & Gary, Casey F., Amy H., Bettina G., Miranda L., & Anna E.

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Reader Comments (47)

That last one looks like a dead dolphin!

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentercutelikeabunny

Sung to “Thriller”

It’s close to meal time.
Don’t want to eat those cupcakes anymore.
The flotsam skeleton
Does pelvic thrusts at someone I adore.
Gold earthworms scream,
The spider counts his legs before you eat them.
Hear mummy wheeze,
“I think I have pink eye in both my eyes.”
You’re paralyzed.

‘Cause it’s a chiller.
What a sight.
Who gives an RIP cake
To a one year old at night?
It’s such a thriller!
Helmet fright!
The zombies ate replacement refs
For dinner,
Dinner, tonight!

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

If the zombie cake was trying for Dr. Finklestein, they would have nailed it!

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAlison

That spider cake looks like Hello Kitty got all dressed up as a spider, went trick or treating, and got flattened by a steam roller.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChelsea

That mummy cake looks the way a real mummy should look.
Sad, lonely, confused, a bit disheveled,
and exhausted, really exhausted. It looks like it had a really bad day.
Just imagine the "life" of a mummy: One minute you're a highly esteemed member of society, then suddenly you're dead. Just when you get used to being deceased, someone disturbs what was promised to be an eternal rest and starts messing with your stuff. You wouldn't look so cute either, if it were you.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

I think the 'spider' is my favorite. I thought "why is it wearing a sideways bow tie?" and then I realized it's probably meant to be a black widow.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMelanie

The RIP-loins skeleton reminds me of the guy in the elevator in the Gangnam Style video...

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterheather

Ah, the rare, but no less deadly, faded-blue-green widow.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterNyperold

I actually think the finger cupcakes are cute. I'd buy them. But the last one--yeah, it does look like a helmet, while the other ones I've seen can only be described as "helmets."

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterdoodlebug

*applauds Sharyn* I very nearly broke into the dance steps while reading your post today.

Also...who knew we had 3 bones in the lower leg? Evolution at work! ;)

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

The saddest thing about that spider cake is that it could have made a decent (at least, only semi-Wreckerated) sea turtle. It actually took me a second to figure out why a sea turtle was wearing a sideways bow tie.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterFiona

Scary. You're doin' it right. But not the way you think.

@Sharyn- Once again, I bow to your wit and intellect. :D

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim in ID

What's WRONG with me? I kind of like the nasty skeleton one.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSuzette

the spider? cake..for some reason reminds me of the monster that holds his eyes in his hands from "Real Monsters".

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLori

Oh my goodness these pictures would be so much less funny without your commentary. Bless you for keeping the laughter going! My boyfriend and I look at your site together and we bust a gut every time. My mom looks at this and cries from laughing so hard. I let my boss borrow your first book to show her mom and she says that her ma almost wet her pants from laughter. I love this blog!

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKrissy

RIP skeleton's womb.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

Sharyn you are awesome!! (As usual, of course!) Your song was ULTRA-appropriate, you might even say, Dead On! =)

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterGroovy Girl

@Sharyn - Oh, I think that was my all-time favorite parody of yours!! I was jammin' while singin' along. "Does pelvic thrusts at someone I adore." LMAO!!!

@heather - LOL! I see it too!

And, Jen. Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen, Jen. I love you. Forever and always. Please don't ever go away.

Thank you. That is all.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Well, I think we finally found the appropriate use for a CCC--it truly does make a very effective rock wall! Although I have to admit that when I first started scrolling down to that 2nd cake (if you can call it that), I thought it was a gorilla, and not a plastic skeleton chained to a stone. Maybe the RIP is supposed to be the loin cloth--after all, modesty may be important here, as his smile is a somewhat embarrassed one. Oh, and whose eyes are those supposed to be??? Looks like he's got some extra bones on his forearms and shins too... So I guess that brings us back to the beginning--cupcakes slathered with thick frosting can make a very nice stone wall, since the plastic flotsam is more of a mess than the CCC this time.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterTwinMom

Mummy nipples?

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterSusanna K.

@Heather - I was just coming to post that...

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterK`shandra

The Black Widow seems to have a horseshoe on the left side. I think it's for good luck. As in: "Good Luck figuring out what this is".

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLaxmom

The spider cake looks like a "creatively" re-purposed pregnant belly cake. . . except with odd chest placement and malformed limbs.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterelecblueis

I wonder if that really is foam on the mummy....or are they sugared gummies? I was thinking gummy, but it is a wreck, so I probably shouldn't get my hopes up.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAddy

Whatever the eyes are made of on the mummy cake looks slimy and gross. **shudder**
@Nyperold ~ hilarious!!!
@Sharyn~ **clapping** you are amazing!

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJodee in WA

These were bad--er,good?--enough. But I followed the links back to the Avatar cake, and you now what? I am seriously creeped out!! (And that 's one of my favorite movies....*whimper*).

Which, when you think about it, is what Halloween is all about.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterCtheWiccanthiswaycome

i thought the last cake was a zombie dolphin LOL

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterashley

"Ah, the rare, but no less deadly, faded-blue-green widow" Grin. hee-hee

(and here I was thinking squashed toad)

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterspel chek

Cheers, very much, Jen and John... That "Hentai Spider Thing" will now haunt my dreams... O.O

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBadKarma

The helmet zombie looks kind of like The
Gentlemen from Buffy the vampire slayer
episode Hush. Only scary in a bad way

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAna

The finger cupcakes are funny, and I think perfect for a halloween party-my sister made witch finger cookies :D Sharyn, once again you make me giggle XDXD The rest of them scare me, but for the wrong reasons D:

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commentermindy1

Please tell me the last cake is not a finger. I have no idea what it could possibly be. Definatly not sleeping well tonight....

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterJo

That skeleton reminds me of the 'Angel Skeleton' that they found in The Simpsons!

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Lovables

The "ghosts" look very much like the evil cheese curls from the Veggie Tales movie "The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything". It makes it much more fun if you imagine that's what they are. Now, that "spider" is clearly a very, very sick sea turtle.

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterbuffy

Oh, believe me, most parents honestly wish their one-year-olds would rest in peace, if only a few nights a week!

October 16, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChug

I was thinking what the fern for most of these cakes but especially the mummy that looks like it got drunk then lost its limbs in some sort of thrasher accident lol. That skeleton makes me shudder especially the color of brown it happens to be laying on..poor thing.

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I thought that the first cupcakes looked VERY...happy. As happy as the fellow in the next pic, who is so very happy that there are warnings posted. (Beware! Turn back!). That skeleton has a full-on bone...er, I'd rather not say.
'Crying yellow earthworms' had me in tears...I can't imagine them as anything else.

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered Commentershand

I really hope Mark was born on Halloween, although I don't think graves are appropriate decorations for a birthday cake (especially for a baby!)

I third (fourth?) the "dead dolphin" thing. What the heck is that supposed to be?

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

I just realized the first birthday cake says "Maria," not "Mark." Still doesn't make it less creepy.

On second glance, I THINK the dead dolphin/football helmet is supposed to be the side view of a human skull. My guess is that they repurposed a football helmet design and gave it the cartoony "X" for dead eyes rather than an eye socket.

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

My husband's comment for the "spider" cake: "Oh, it's a spider? I thought it was two cats."

October 17, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShalmeno

My birthday is Oct 19. I got Halloween-themed cakes at least a dozen times before I turned 18.

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKC

My first thought when I saw the zombie football helmet (or at least, the words "zombie football helmet") was the song for Plants vs Zombies, when the one zombie says "I used to play football."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0N1_0SUGlDQ

You're welcome.

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterAurora

What male skeleton wants you-know-what to Rest In Peace???

As for the spider, are you SURE it isn't a tennis shoe that was microwaved to enhance the odor?

October 19, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterShannon

I'm all too familiar with halloween themed birthday cakes :(

October 22, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterRicardo

Well, that second to last one might be appropriate if this was the 1700s or something...

October 25, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMiss Pinkie Pie

Took me a moment on the spider cake, thought it was a road-kill kitty cake. LOVED THE FINGER CUPCAKES!!! There's nothing like a dessert with attitude!

October 30, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkay

"What male skeleton wants you-know-what to Rest In Peace???"

How about one who just doesn't care any more 'cause he hasn't been "getting any" for a few decades-- not the least reason for which being that his bed looks like something I'd want scrape off the sole of my shoe in a tearing hurry.

Cui bone-o? Nobody!

November 2, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterrocketride

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