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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Jun142011

Dad's Birthday Presents

Father's Day is this weekend, so today I thought we'd celebrate the most important thing our dads ever gave us:

Balloons.

Yep, nothing livened up our childhoods quite like Dad's special birthday balloons, am I right?

And, sure, they weren't always perfect. Sometimes they were a bit small:


Or a bit big:


Or even shaped a bit wonky:


Sometimes they'd get lost on their way to the party:


Or they weren't durable enough to last once they got there:

Sometimes dad's balloons didn't seem to know if they were coming or going!


But the important thing to remember is that, in the end, dads' balloons always got the job done.

Score three for Dad!

Thanks to Kathleen, Jess, Jamie, Pontmarie, Pat S., Denise C., Kevin C., & Julie C. for the beautiful "balloons."

« Father's Day Pictionary | Main | Wreck-A-Bye Baby »

Reader Comments (62)

Uh... Wow.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngie

I read the first line before the pictures loaded and starting hoping that you would go there...
You did.
Thank you.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFluffy Cow

Triplets!!!

WV: Unoniz- I fear that when the decorators "unoniz" it may be difficult to fire those responsible for these wrecks.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

Looks like that last embryo is going to be tetraploid.

(If you understand that comment, you must be a science nerd like me.)

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

So funny

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCanterbury Cakes

Balloons. Dad's balloons are responsible for lots of things. Even deadbeat dads seem to have given balloons at some point in time.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermimi

Haha. This is an...interesting...if not highly applicable/appropriate tribute for Father's Day! ;D LOL Wreck on!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBP

Such a funny post!
Thanks Jen!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

Any man can be a balloon donor, but it takes someone special to be a dad.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

please tell me that last one was a baby shower cake for a woman having triplets, that would make my day

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

OK, I'll admit it... I was halfway through the post before the lightbulb went on. The last one had my co-workers looking at me funny because I was laughing so hard. Well done, as always.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCate

At age 75, Paul's little swimmers look like they are doing really well!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbassgirl

Good for Paul, who still gets to celebrate his birthday with balloons. And at his age, too. ;)

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That runny egg white one made me want to throw up! And I get what that last one looks like, but what was is *supposed* to be?

What the... in what alternate world are those balloons O_o

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Funny post! Not to criticize, but isn't it Flag Day? Or are you showing patriotism by not posting any more wrecked flags?

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ewwww. Now I know why food service workers wear those cellophane gloves.

Always practice safe cake.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn

I read on an infertility support board that if we eat that last cake, it increases your chance of getting pregnant, especially if it is pineapple flavoured including mashed-up core*.

* Of course if you read any infertility support group for any length of time you will see tons of anecdotal "evidence" that [fill in this blank] really truly helps you get pregnant regardless of scientific accuracy. http://www.ivfplus40.com/2008/09/pineapple-and-grape-juice.html" rel="nofollow">It's mostly bunk. But I bet you I could successfully spread a rumour that eating that cake would work if I was so inclined!

@Gary See, this blog is read by many science nerds. No worries. :)

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

I want to thank my dad for giving my mom balloons in May (anticipatory Mother's Day gift???). Re: coming or going...I think his were coming, since I arrived after the traditional waiting period.

wv - woote: celebratory exclamation...woote, woote...sometimes accompanies the delivery of balloons....

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

This would have only been more perfect if you'd waited to post it until tomorrow...mostly because that's actually my dad's birthday! *giggle*

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAuntie J

Momma always said the one thing all father's had in common wasn't something they put on cake. Can't wait to show her this! (Well as I got older she admited they did put them on cakes but somehow never for father's day.)

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

Ugh, #6! Is that what happens to icing left out for an eternity? That would make an interesting science project.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Howard

Ha-ha-ha-ha! @Sharyn - applause on your safe cake comment.

WV: throsub Throsub scary-looking balloons on dose cakes.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBeverly Diehl

Excellent.

I'm pretty sure balloons should be considered an advanced technique, since I've seen it take *cough* someone a year or more to be able to not make them spermy.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenny

OMGoodness... you went there. You totally went there. It was brilliant.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

I really don't know what to say about the brown "balloons."

I'm pretty sure something further could be said, but I really don't know what. I'm thinking that's a good thing.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMuria

thanks for featuring my son Aidan's cake - he thought they were cockroaches :D

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterclaudia b

My work gives away "balloons".

Seriously, http://lalisrccc.blogspot.com/2009/04/way-too-much-sperm-y-fun.html (We're not a novelty shop, we do paternity testing/forensic casework)

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLalis

I think the "balloons" in cake #6 are actually pool balls. Well, if there were more of them and they were different colors and... nevermind. It's "hopeless".

wv: douted. I never douted those were balloons! Well, okay, maybe... the whole time. :-)

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermouse

There are no words... O_O

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

"Coming and going" LOLOLOLOL You slay me!

What's the "WV" thing all about?

Gwyndall

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hilarious! Great job!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterlisadh

Oh my, truly LOL! Or, as Dad would say, "Har har har!! *koff koff koff*"

Seriously, in a very odd way I'm thrilled that you found such a great use for all these...balloon decorations. Great job today!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterFlartus

As a geneticist, I might look at that last cake as the excuse for the wreckerator - "I have too many chromosomes to decorate correctly - see!?!"
TracyO (,PhD <== science geek)

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTracy O

Cake # 3. Costco. I can almost guaran-dam-tee it. They make yummy cakes but their icing balloons are .. not quite.. balloony!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMay

ACK! poo and sperm, poo and sperm. Honestly, when will the madness end?!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMandy

Just REALLY thankful there were no white umm...BALLOONS. yeah.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterDana

Spot on , Gary!

Jen, John, you guys are too too too hysterically funny.

wv: reard- these balloons help a father have well-reard children

Had to post my wv- "chrom", short for chromosome. I wonder if these cakes contain x chrom's or y chom's...

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commentererinmself

Great wrecks!

wv: wordi.

Not now.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

Sunday is also my birthday! I just love it when Father's Day and my birthday co- incicide-it's always a special day for my dad and me. I was also born on Father's Day-since I'm the eldest child, I imagine it as "Happy Father's Day! You're a father!" (I'll let you know if my cake is a wreck...)

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Congratulations, you have us all trained.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSam Gamgee

Gwyndall, the wv is the Word Verification you are required to type in that blank down there in order to be allowed to comment. Sometimes they are just hilariously apropos.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMarytoo

BLAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! "coming or going!" literally laughed so hard the kids thought i was insane!!! of course, i couldn't show them the post... because i'd rather leave them out of the joke than to traumatize them with sperm poo! ROFL

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterHeather

WV: foras. "Foras much as I like cake, I don't think I could bring myself to eat one of THOSE cakes..."

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSaraCVT

Looks like sperm whales on that 75th birthday cake!

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

So many questions...when did poo-shaped piles of icing become decoration? Brown balloons? Really? And cupcake cakes...why? Just...why?

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJanellionaire

Great post! I'm falling out of my chair laughing over here.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarefootCajun

I refuse to believe that the wreckorator who made the blue "balloons" had no idea what they looked like. In fact, I imagine that he or she was giggling madly the entire time.

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

[insert huge grin here]

nothing I say can will do justice to this post

-Barbara Anne

June 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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