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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Monday
Apr042011

Blowing in the Wind

How many times must a baker be told,
"Don't pipe 'flowers' where flowers belong?"


And how many colors are spelled correctly,
While still managing to be wrong?


How many directions are misunderstood,
Like the first Wreck that received such renown?


And how many ways can you try to explain,
That "nothing"'s still something written down?

The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind.

The answer is "italicized" like it's blowing in the wind!

Thanks to Anna B., Alexis, Erica, David H., & Rosej, with the thanks "fuzzy" like a warm hug. (Only not in a creepy way.)

« Move Over, Hallmark | Main | Sunday Sweets: Cake or Fake? »

Reader Comments (75)

That worm cake says it all. Read in the voice of a downtrodden housewife who has lost all hope. Under that read, "I can't believe this still happens." Accentuate "still."

wv: flitank: A tank in which to store your flit.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

One of the things that gets me with these pipe-the-directions cakes is how much EXTRA work they're putting in to do that piping, when a wee bit of comprehension at the start would save time and lead to happier customers.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKimberly Chapman

its sad, the "underneath that" cake is so cool looking, yet still full of fail.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterrachel

Shame about that last one... it would have been a really nice cake if somebody hadn't totally failed their Common Sense class, which should be a required class for all cake decorating schools.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLibby

That last one is such a fail.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCustty

I saw the title and started giggling even before I saw the cakes. I just LOVE IT when it's gonna be the occasional sing-a-long. 'zactly what I needed this a.m. Thanks

wv: birtioni-- that special pasta for once a year.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNiteNurse

Congrats on Rachael Ray!!!!!! Just watched it :-D I've been following CWs for over a year now.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJosh and Ashley

Rachael Ray showed off some of the cake wrecks on her show today =) Congrats!!

Jenny

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Hooray, a sing-along!

Thank goodness that last cake was a large sheet cake and the wreckerator had somewhat legible piping. Can you imagine the same message squeezed onto an 8" round?

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

the lack of critical thinking skills is staggering.

meanwhile, I can't help but wonder if Ben and Flowers are a fraternal twin strip act with repttiles?

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Order the "Nothing" cake. For when you feel like dirt.

and worms.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

haha i absolutely love these. You would think they would say hey what color did they want "happy Birthday Alexis in pink" in?. and then realize what they just said

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

That last cake would have been so darn pretty if the baker had used some common sense.

"Oh! They want the font to LOOK like it's blowing in the wind!!! That makes sense!"

Why must bakers constantly jack things up due to thier lack of common sense???

-B

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Those folks who made those cake 'errors' are something else. I guess when the Lord was giving out brains, they thought He said 'trains' and asked for a slow one? LOL

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSabrina

Oh my. That last one is the best. cake. ever.

I really don't know how these people get through the day. And it's sooo long! You would imagine that about halfway through they might actually realize it...

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I swear I'm starting to think that the decorators are being dense on purpose just to end up in your blog. That's the only explanation I can come up with because such a high level of not-thinking makes me want to weep.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Brilliant post. Again.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCathy

Ah, and the apostrophe in "flower's" is just (you should pardon the expression) the icing on the cake.

You guys make me "LOL please draw the smiley or use the abbreviation not the words Laugh Out Loud in all caps . . . "

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

Literal LOLs!!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMaureen

I just had a huge AHA moment.

The cake decorators all speak English as a second language!!!!

Don't correct me if I'm wrong. I NEED to believe this.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMary Connealy

Hey! We're officially famous! We were on the Rachael Ray show!!!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Wrecksistant

BWAHAHAH these give me the biggest laughs

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I think it's so sweet that Ben and Flowers have the same birthday. What a lovely cake!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJustine

At least it's all spelled correctly, leaving aside the apostrophe on the first one....

I do love literal people. Thanks for the Monday laughs!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermin

That frog on the first cake was also pretty nifty.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Forgot to say -- good song parody! Now do "Puff the Magic Dragon!"

wv - bloesq

It's not really windy out -- just sort of bloesq

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterEllen

This blog restores my faith in humanity...well, not really, but it does make me laugh, and that's just as valuable.

wv - fieseco: What a Cake Wreck becomes.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered Commentermel

The last one is hilarious!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJen

The last cake is just so pretty! Then you read it, bang your head repeatedly into the keyboard, and cry a little. Its not that they don't read, its that they have a filter between the reading and comprehending parts of the brain.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterStacie

Best use of a Civil War-era protest song, EVAR!!!!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

I like that the frog has his tongue stuck out, like he knows what kind of cake he's on. "Bleah," says Mr. Frog. "Bleah."

Also, the last cake has such pretty letters! A shame they went to so much extra work when it looks like what was requested was actually within their capacity (unlike, possibly, the frog baker).

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterShalen

I'm convinced that these decorators are new to this country and don't speak English. That has to be the only way there are this many mistakes out there.

That doesn't mean that I'll stop giggling uncontrollably when I see cakes like these!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

As a huge cakewrecks and Bob Dylan fan, I find this post particularly amazing! I sang the whole thing!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGood.Weird.Life.

I think people assume too much these days when they expect people to have "common sense"-- surely an oxymoron. It's not just cake decorators either; it's a pandemic. Just come and meet my coworkers. Libby's idea is excellent. "common sense" classes should be mandatory-- but not just for bakers!
However, kudos to the decorator of the last cake on their penmanship. At least you passed something in school.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPuppygirl

This post takes the cake. Now if you guys could only take those cake decorators and shake some sense into them. :-)

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

That last cake was the icing on the, well, cake. This post was brilliant! Such a great set up for that last disaster. Awesome.

wv: revour = what a dog does to its own vomit. Yeah, I grossed myself out with that one.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSara

That last cake is so gorgeous...it's too bad they screwed up the inscription.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKatie

why oh why don't they just change the cake order forms to have an inscription section and a directions section????why why why for the love of dessert why!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Wouldn't it be a great story if the song "Pretty in Pink" was inspired by a wreck?

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSharyn in Superior

I really don't understand the first one! I mean clearly the directions were to put on it "happy birthday ben and flowers and a steam-rolled frog" and yet they got the frog part right! :D

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLaurenH

I am always amazed at the limitless cake wrecks.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

The fourth cake is an epic fail XD

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLeia Skywalker Organa

#1 is wishing a HAPPY BiRTHDAY to Ben and Flower's what -- frog?

#2 Finally, balloon strings that look like strings. Too bad the balloons look like a piping bag malfunction. The color fiasco is easily explained: "We didn't have pink, so we used green." Who says wreckerators have no common sense.

#3 If the cake had been just a little bigger, they could have included the last line: "In All Different Colors, With Sprinkles."

#4 Is there a better message for a dirt & worms cake than 'Nothing'?

#5 "Best of luck in WindyCity."
(I never knew 'italicized' meant 'run together' -- guess ya learn something new everyday.) If only the decorator who did most of the work could have stayed to write the inscription.

How did Dylan write a Civil War-era protest song? Time machine, maybe? [Ducks and runs...]

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

I think the "nothing" on the next to the last cake was actually put there to draw your eye away from the randomly strewn gummy worms and crumbs.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterOldish Lady

Couldn't resist WV: firoses - "dat spot where you put dat frog was s'posed to be firoses"

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMomcat

Honestly, I think the cake decorators do it on purpose.

I'm terribly passive aggressive, with a wide range of work-related pet peeves. I'm sure there must be some cake decorators like me.

If a rude or condescending customer wrote detailed descriptions all over the line that specified "WHATEVER IS WRITTEN HERE WILL BE WRITTEN ON THE CAKE!!" I would definitely pipe it a cake just like the 'Windy City' and hand it to them, feigning innocence. "Why, I piped exactly what you wrote on the form. I cannot offer a refund for your mistake."

This might make me a bad person, but I honestly think that's where these cakes come from.

It could also be a 'corporate policy' thing at chain stores that the decorators are not allowed to 'interpret' what they think the customer wants written on the cake; they must write exactly what the customer has written, even if their common sense tells them otherwise. Should they have called the customer and checked before piping? Probably. But if the customer was rude to them? They might skip it. I certainly would.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCourtney

Another great post. You nailed it!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMicalah

For the first cake: the baker was asked for flowers.
So he put an iguana.
Yeah OKAY.

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChocolatier

Everything about that last cake is gorgeous! Too bad it was ruined by yet another miscommunication...

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMellie

I love the Windy City one!!

April 4, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCatstina

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