Wreck Reaction
February 23, 2011 Guys, I think the Wreckerators are on to us.
Yep, while we've been focusing on all the actual *cake* wrecks, bakers have been industriously wrecking just about every other item in the bakery, and then some.
How else can you explain "The Brownie Ball?"
It's a giant ball of icing with brownies stuck in it.I kid thee not.
Now, do I want to eat this?
Of course I do.
Does that make it excusable?
No, it does not.
Hey, just because *I* don't have any self-respect doesn't mean bakers shouldn't.
Or, if you prefer your giant ball of icing rolled in sprinkles and served on a cookie platter:
Perfect for the children of someone you hate.It's not all sugar and sprinkles, though. Hoooo no. See, unfortunately, the deli guys decided to get in on the "decorating" action, too.
Billy Bear Bologna:
And you thought nothing could make chicken mcnuggets look healthy.The world's cheesiest gingerbread man:
"Oh noooo!"Yes, that's really a cheese "ball." Decorated with icing.
Because cheddar & buttercream = Gouda upchuckin' fun!
Pineapple upside down shrimp "cake:"
SWEET MERCY I THINK ONE JUST MOVED.
[Update: the final "cake" has sparked a lively debate in the comments, so perhaps this video instructional on making a "Smörgåscake" (submitted by Marcus B.) will help.
Just kidding; it won't. But if you want to see a guy yelling instructions in "Swenglish" and violently throwing ingredients around, then it's pretty funny.]
Reader Comments (192)
I am now nauseous!!!! Wow!!!
C.M.W. beat me to it. Can you please put a pregnant-lady warning on some of these posts? I need more Zofran...
WV: sessesse - Some bakers should be issued a sessesse and dessississt order.
The brownie ball made me want to sneak out and eat one in secret - so delicious but so bad, on so many different levels... But then I saw that shrimp "cake", and I may never eat again...
Oh yum; positively revolting!
DAY-O! DaaaAAAaaaay-O! Daylight come and I wanna go home...
..Just sayin'...
WV - sperud: 'Tis a sad, sad day when even meat and dairy products are no longer sperud from the Wreckerators' "ingenuity".
Just want to prove that a cheese ball with cream cheese "icing" can be done well. This link shows a cheese ball made by a lady at my church. We love it!
http://agirlinherkitchen.blogspot.com/2010/10/they-are-to-teach-what-is-good.html
Most of these just seemed made of scary.
But the first one... well it seemed made of scary too. Delicious scary. Of course it looked like a hot brownie mess, but I kind of wanted one ;)
Here's the bread to go with that bologna -- Panda Bread. http://www.ohdeedoh.com/ohdeedoh/look/look-panda-bread-091127
wv: thsari. One thesaurus plus one thesaurus equals two thsari. Alternatley, did you see thsari-looking cakes posted on this site?
Bluurgh.
I think I'll check back in with Cake Wrecks when I'm NOT experiencing morning (all day) sickness anymore!
"I cant believe anyone thought the last was was really a "cake" with shrimp on it. It only looks like a cake so she included it as a joke."
Oh, I've seen this weird, knee-jerk hate towards sandwich cakes (and any cake-looking object made of cheese) here before. I love the site, but a lot of people here seem to be totally unable to accept that something that looks vaguely like a cake does not have to be a sweet dessert.
As people have mentioned above, sandwich cakes are perfectly normal in the Nordic countries. They are basically huge and a bit elaborate sandwiches that you cut with a cake knife and eat with knife and fork. It's usually very tasty and an easy dish to prepare for large gatherings.
Nothing strange about it, in my book, but as soon as something savory is even close to the word "cake" or the shape of a cake, people here start up with the "gaah, that picture makes me vomit in my mouth" comments :) I dare you to look at the comments for posts with cheesecakes that are actual wheels of cheese. The outrage is quite funny.
That "brownie ball" just made my blood sugar go through the roof! lol
Is that a pineapple upside down cake with shrimp on top? Then I think I might just join the rest of the commenters who find this less than appetizing. Or is is some sort of shrimp/seafood thing that's just decorated with a pineapple ring and cherry? If it's the latter, I could probably take off the fruit.
Now where can I get one of those brownie balls?
That deli is clearly managed by one guy: the Swedish chef. Boylununburrrnun de sushen.
http://www.youtube.com/user/MuppetsStudio#p/u/15/B7UmUX68KtE
Honestly, I think the cheeseball gingerbread guy is the worst. The only way to make is worse is using pickles for his gumdrop buttons.
Jen---thank you, bless you for the gift of laughter this a.m. Some day CW is a pleasant diversion and somedays it's a lifesaver. I REALLY, REALLY needed the laugh today and the link to Beetlejuice---yes,I'm gonna say it--was just icing on the cake. Thanks,
Terrell
The cookies looked like powdered donuts on top! I don't know which is worse, a ball of icing or a powdered donut with sprinkles on top of a chocolate chip cookie!
And that shrimp cake? Horrifying! I think the picture alone may have caused my allergic reaction to kick in.
That shrimp cake is just gross!
SMORGASTARTA? THIS. IS. SMORGA-SPARTA!
can you please put an update on the smörgåstårta? it's a very traditional food in sweden.
seeing as how i live in sweden i'm gonna have to go with all the other swedes (and finns etc) on this one. SMÖRGÅSTÅRTA is not an actual "cake", it's just a large sandwich in the shape of a cake. people take slices of it, so don't even think that someone eats the whole "sandwich" by themselves.
-maria
I'm sorry but those "shrimp" look more like garden grubs. So disgusting! And what the heck is up with that bear sausage? I mean, how do they DO that? Strategically-placed food coloring? Excuse me while I go gag for a while now.
wv: staep (pronounced stop)- these wreckerators need to STAEP!!
Had to look up smorgastarta...you need to dedicate a whole post to these Swedish Birthday Cakes!
I could totally use the ball of icing on a cookie right now. It's been one of those days...
I just know someone looked at that shrimp cake and thought "This is a GREAT idea, I'm glad I thought of it." The question is, what were they thinking??
I think that brownie cake would be great at a toddler party (outside). Just let them have at it and take lots of pictures ;)
Oh geez, now I picture the Swedish Chef making smörgåstårta - Börk! Börk! Börk!
X-D
I am deeply, deeply disturbed by some of those. Most notably the bear faced balogna. *Shiver* I don't even want to know how they get the color differences. And the shrimp cake, is that more meat under the shrimp?
I love your blog every day, but today's is especially fabulous!
Thank you.
I'm with Trevor; call me a blasphemer, but I prefer my brownies unfrosted, so brownies jammed in a giant ball of frosting does not look very good to me. But ice cream. Yes.
I also never though I would see the Stinky Cheese Man reimagined in the real world. Even the original Stinky Cheese Man didn't have frosting...
Is it weird that the Smörgåstårta actually looks like it might be tasty, given the description that some commenters have kindly provided?
"Perfect for the children of someone you hate" made me almost fall out of my chair laughing. ^__^ Thank you.
This post is really working for me. I started a diet today and I now have no desire to eat.
Ever!
Okay, I'm pregnant... I thought maybe it was just pregnancy that made me ACTUALLY throw up on the shrimp cake. Apparently, no I'm in good company. Glad to know its not just me. BUt a shrimp cake is... horrible.
WV - Slyso - giving those kids of your frenemy a slice of the brownie/icing cake just to make them hyper.
I want sprinkles. This was probably not the intended effect of this post. Nevertheless...
Ok, the non-sugar stuff looks nasty (although the bologna was beautifully executed)! But I would give anything for one of those cookies right now!
Seriously...ANYTHING!
Oh nooooo! *gasp* was that a Mr. Bill reference? (*double gasp* and nobody else noticed it yet?)
Oh Jen. Oh John. You were already my favorite bloggers in the universe. I don't know how to even define how cool you are to me right at this moment.
SMORGASTARTA!
I was doing ok until I saw the shrimp cake. Bye bye dinner.....
sick! shrimp cake: quite possibly the nastiest thing i have ever seen presented as food.
A friend of mine posted a picture of sock monkey bologna on her FB page. I'm guessing it's popular in the UK (the prices in the photo were in pounds and the writing was English.) Not sure I want my meat to smile back at me.
That Baby really wants me to go get a brownie ball. Really, really bad. :) He does not, however, want me to get a shrimp cake.
The brownie cake reminds me of The Simpsons, when Homer tried to put his own "sprinkles" on a donut and Apu goes "a Jolly Ranger is NOT a sprinkle. A Twizzler is NOT a sprinkle. Maybe in Shangri-la they are, but not here."
I think the bologna looks cute. And it's probably (hopefully?) plain cream cheese or mayo on the cheeserbread man.
#1 Where's the wreck? Looks yummy. Ok, maybe 'looks' is the wrong word; the presentation does need lots of remedial help. But still... brownies & frosting: what's not to like?
#2 For a second, I thought those might be donuts. Extreme, but ok. Then I realized there wasn't really a hole, and the caption was proved... Yes, these are ideal for *those* children. Serve with espresso, just before a puppy raffle. Mwahahahaha!
#3 "If you like sausage (or lunch meat), don't watch it being made." I'm sure I don't want to know how the shading is achieved, but I can't help being (morbidly) curious.
#4 Ah, the gingercheese man. You don't even have to wonder how it will look when you see it again -- how thoughtful! Please tell me those aren't chocolate chips.
#5 I see the EPCOT is well under way, so here goes:
Smorga-starting to feel seasick, now... Unlike a lot of readers, I'm ok with the basic concept -- it sounds rather good, actually. But pineapple and a cherry? Seriously?
"Shrimp -- it's what's for dessert." You know, when you're tired of having all those pesky 'guests' hanging around and want to be alone.
I threw up a little in my mouth after seeing that shrimp cake. Oh my gosh. Worst cake cake!!! And there's been some pretty gross ones on here.... Btw I would totally buy the browine ball and give it to my nieces and nephews. :D
Word Verification:stirt: the gag reflex after seeing that shrimp cake
I love the shrimp cake - it's straight from Parappa the Rapper which might be my favorite video game. Crack crack crack the egg into the bowl... Here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTANGXBaRjg
Billy Bear Bologna has been HUGE in Ireland since I was a kid at least. I remember my mum buying it for us 25 years ago. You can also get dinosaur ones
Smörgåstårta is DELICIOUS. It's not a wreck at all!
I am so glad you said you wanted to try the brownie ball as well. My first thought looking at it was 'that's disgusting!' then, 'I think I want it in my mouth.' lol!
For the record, I'd eat the sandwich "cake". No problem. That Billy Bear stuff reminds me way too much of head cheese though. No way. I don't want my sandwich meat looking at me. ;-)
ok - the shrimp cakes sitting side-by-side like that look like zombie boobs. (not that I've actually seen them, but actual zombie boobs can't be any worse, can they?)
A cheeseball with icing... uhm.. sure? Maybe they were thinking.. cheesecake?
Ohmygod. OHMYGOD! Is that raw bacon hanging down the side of the pineapple shrimp cake? IS IT?!
*gag*
wv: ouzess. Ouzess it's gotta be a *cake* to crap it up with icing?
Near-vomit on the shrimp cake and the rubber, blubber, bear bolongna!!
PS - Finally bought your book yesterday - and got to introduce my husband to your wacky world of cakewrecks!!
:) Mags
I don't really understand what is so awful about the shrimp cake? Is it just the fact that it looks like a normal cake and people are bothered by the juxtaposition between the sweet cake-like appearance and the savory/seafoodness of the shrimp? Other than that, this is really not much different than a shrimp cocktail platter or something.
I'm not a big shrimp person by any means, but this image didn't really turn my stomach. I have to admit that the pineapples are a bit bothersome..but whatever.
Also, everyone does realize that there isn't an actual *cake* under the shrimp, right? I took the liberty of looking up "smorgastorta" and turns out there is what's similar to a multilayered sandwich underneath. Layers of bread and filling. Meh.