Keen for Quinoa
November 18, 2011 Bakers, I think you need to see this.
;)
This, my friends, is a turkey.
Now, I know this comes as a shock. After all, you've been lied to all these years! But then, how could you possibly have known that turkeys actually DON'T all come in cans?
;)
Now that's what we call a "can-doo" attitude!
In fact, when you think about it, it's really only natural to assume a turkey with a head injury bleeds rainbows:
;)
Or that baby turkeys are cute enough to turn even hardened carnivores into raw vegans:
;)
"Please, sir, might you consider the tofurkey this year? I hear it's lovely with a bit of quinoa."
Of course, some of you chose to model your turkeys on other things.
Like flamingos...
;)
Or your least favorite cousin...
;)
Or, from the looks of things, your last colonoscopy:
;)
"Personally, I've taken a shine to the 'frizzy fecal' style."
Still, the good news is you bakers have always known exactly what a turkey sounds like:
;)
Honestly, it's uncanny.
Thanks to Scott A., Kathryn S., Beth P., D.W., Dion H., Karen, & Mike B. for inspiring me to shout "gooble gooble!" at every lawn flamingo I see. That's right, neighbors, who's the "antisocial recluse" now? Huh? HUH?!
Reader Comments (63)
Oh no! my last colonoscopy result was better, FAR better than this cupcake.
PS. I have Crohns disease, my life involves ALOT of discussions about poop, Watching poop on cake makes me think there is hope for us, at least those who have crohns dont EAT the poop.
That last "turkey" is made from soooo much icing. Sooooo much disgusting icing. ugh.
"Gooble Gooble" !!!
I laughed so hard I think I may have hurt something! Plus I snorted.
I was stewing in mild frustration and displeasure until-
"Gooble Gooble"
Yep. Cakewrecks has made my day again!!!!
would have been so easy to change that "O" to a "B" !!!!! turkey cakes never look right!!!
BWahahahaha
The question mark on the fourth cake really sums it up.
Wow. I know that turkeys with their own entrails on their heads make ME hungry.
Gooble? Isn't that what most people DO at Thanksgiving? GOOBLE GOOBLE! Oh wow, that's fun to say, new word for the day! Okay seriously, these turkeys are the perfect appetite suppressant for Thanksgiving...think that was the idea?
The last cake is advertising for one of those new age animal sounds, cause 'gobble gobble' is so 1600's. We're redefining what we hear from animals more and more each day. For instance:
turkey - gooble gooble
cow - mou mou
dog - raff raff
cat - mrew mrew
owl - hoop hoop
I'm sure you could list a few more.
Cal me crazy (seriously... everyone else does) but the second cake looks like Lady Gaga to me. Maybe Lady Gooble?
I think the individual cupcake things were aiming for "Flying Spaghetti Monster".
Anybody seen the movie Freaks? "Gooble gobble one of us!"
Gooble, gooble, dear Jen!!
Man, that uproarously huge, snorting laugh was definitely needed. Plus, I had to share with my coworkers the reason behind my noise...you should have some new followers now!!
My turkey cakes are all crying inside.
Tooooooooooooo funny! BUT -- truth in advertising! These are all turkeys.......!
I am sooo glad you ended with the "Gooble Gooble" cake. (and the anti-social recluse comment!)
I don't think I would have been able to keep breakfast down if you had finished with the frizzy, poop-dripped turkey. I *hurk* think *hack* I'll *hurk* skip *hack* lunch....*runs to bathroom*
A "can-doo" attitude. Snork.
do you folks in Florida eat flamingos instead of turkeys because you don't really have cold weather? Maybe in 70 degree heat a flamingo just goes better with candied sweet potatoes.
I've never seen a flamingo who looked like THAT. And if we had a cousin who ever showed up looking remotely like one of those cupcakes, odds are he or she wouldn't be invited to Thanksgiving.
There is something about that third wreck that I kind of love. It's got a sort of a cthulhu/peacock/bush baby thing going on. I think it wants a hug!
Wide-eyed chickie, or
canned host of brain parasites?
Wattle it be, hm?
~~~
And from our favorite PBS show starring LeVar Burton:
Take a look!
I think the cook
is Bleeding Rainbows (Bleeding Rainbows!) . . .
So, since the flamingo head looks uncannily like a pinkish question mark, I vote that we take that idea and run with it.
To wit: put giant question marks in the place of the " heads" of ALL the other whatever-they-ares...basically saying, "Your guess is as good as mine!"
And why do these idiots always go for the rainbow-y display of garish colors on the tail? Look at that magnificent creature in the first photo; I see brown, black, and a creamy off-white. Very dignified, that.
Something to wonder about: IF the original pilgrims had arrived in Florida, would the flamingo have been the guest of honor that first Thanksgiving? I wouldn't have wanted to be the one to take it down--I heard that they can kick like a SOB.
Anybody know what they taste like?
LOVE the Broad Breasted Bronze turkey picture! He looks JUST like our two - Thanksgiving and Christmas. Actually, he looks just like Christmas who's getting a "Thanksgiving pardon" this year. Thanksgiving has a crooked toe, not as long of a waddle, and well, there's no pardon for him, well, except for "pardon me, can you pass more turkey."
I just about barfed on my keyboard when I saw the colonoscopy cake!
Had a good giggle at the "cousin" cupcakes, though.
Your comment at the end "That's right, neighbors, who's the 'antisocial recluse' now?" cracks me up, mainly because it makes me think that's what they probably call me, too. Happily, though, I haven't communicated enough to find out.
;-)
Those all actually look like reasonable approximations of what a turkey would look like, well when rendered in cake and buttercream icing. Don't be so negative people, we can't all be fondant sculptors.
Ok, as if ccc's didn't have enough frosting and weren't messy enough to eat, is that last turkey cake really a double-decker ccc? With the second layer sitting directly on top of the very thickly-frosted first layer? Talk about a mess!! What was that baker thinking?
I was thinking of roasting a flamingo for Thanksgiving this year. Now that I've seen the cake, I know it's an acceptable turkey substitue. I'll let you know how it turns out.
I would eat that baby turkey. And it would be a big mess and I'd be on a sugar high for the whole day. But it would be good and I wouldn't feel about bout it at all. Yup, I would eat that baby turkey.
Seriously, the baby turkey cake makes me think Far Side comic:
Goobles only thought that looking at the baker with dewy-eyed adoration would save her from the Icing of Doom. <Splat!>
If I ever have a pet turkey I am sooooo naming it Goobles!
I thought those cupcakes were mutant crabs and were to be served as an appetizer--(Crab cakes?)
that first one reminds of the little chickenhawk that would torment Foghorn Leghorn.
#2 is psychedelic and wearing a blue wig.
shocked and bugeyed #3 looks like he's wearing an Indian headdress. did they dress him up befoer they kill him?
the flamingo is eiither in front of an exploding volcano or is in some sort of Showgirls type number complete with feather fan on his butt. or maybe that's the set.
gooble gooble everyone!
Oooh, I want that Bronze fellow in image #1. For my yard. He looks like he'd instill some respect around here by shouting "Goebbel! Goebbel!" and threatening to turn the disobedient into cupcake cakes ( patooie! patooie!)
@ Alice the Camel
I admire your charitable attitude!
But, Gawsh a mighty!! If you were aware of what some of these bakeries have the stones to CHARGE for what are (theoretically) PROFESSIONALLY-baked cakes, you might be a tad inclined to be a *negative people* yourself.
What you say is a "reasonable approximation of what a turkey would look like, well when rendered in cake and buttercream icing", I call a *reasonable approximation of what a turkey would look like when rendered in a cement mixer.*
But , to each his own!
(po TAY toe / po TAH toe)
We certainly "can't all be fondant sculptors." We aren't claiming to be--we're just laughing about these clowns who think they are!
This is funny/sad/disturbing stuff here...and we make fun of it all! I see it as an equal-opportunity bakery-bash.
We aren't laughing AT them; we're laughing WITH them.
Okay--that's definitely going too far--scratch that last line.
@ another recluse:
Me three! Count me among the antisocial recli (recluses?). My neighbors would only be able to sight me if they wore camo and went out with military-issue nightvision goggles.
Because I go out to get the mail in the dark. Some of them stand in their picture windows and watch ALL the comings and goings like they're getting paid to do it. (Sigh)...haven't they got any (other) hobbies???
That's not a flamingo..thats a pea-mingo. looks like a terrible Dr. Moreau creation. Quick, get it to the secret island!
For the record: Tofurkey goes best with golden curry and root vegetables.
I sent you an amazing cookie cake last year with a hideous turkey that said "GOOBLE TIL YOU WOBBLE". I can't tell you how saddened I was to see that pitiful "gooble gooble" cake. Wobbling makes everything funnier.
I laughed until Gooble Gooble....Then I snorted....That's the funniest thing I've seen all day!
My three-and-a-half-year old daughter identified them as follows:
1) owl
2) rainbow
3) splicky (when asked what that was, she said it was a germ)
4) no answer
5) no answer
6) mud cake
7) gobble
I was pretty impressed by #7 since she can't read, but I guess that's okay because the decorator can't spell. :)
Ah yes, nothing says Thanksgiving quite like a pile of poop turkey cake!
I also thought of "Gooble gobble gooble gobble, We accept her. We accept her." from the movie Freaks, which is much more appetizing experience than looking at these cakes.
Laughed til I cried and pulled something in my neck. Then had a coughing fit. Hooo!!! Good stuff! LMBO
After years of reading Cake Wrecks, I am extremely concerned. I had two friends ask if I could make them turkey cakes for next week. How do I tell them that turkey cakes almost always come out looking like poop cakes? Maybe I should forward them the link to this post and make them something else "thanksgiving-y" (gooble, gooble, perhaps?). Here's to poop-free turkeys!
http://www.gigglesandscreams.blogspot.com
You'd go hoarse at my house yelling "gooble gooble" at all the flamingos.
Gooble Gooble? Sounds like it's been changed to "Poople Poople", didn't you get the memo?
Yesterday when I was at the grocery store, I saw a cake that said, "Happy Lurkey Day." I was doing a little dance on the inside but then I was too scared to snap a picture. Gooble.
Ok people. I really think there should be a moratorium on what characters can be put onto cupcakes: Cookie Monster? Yes! He's just basically a spiky blob of blue frosting with a cookie stuck in his mouth. Most other things I've seen?? an emphatic NO. Are you with me???
Anyhow, Jen is hilarious, and you commenters just add to the hilarity!!!
I honestly think one of them was an owlurkey...
@Reepicheep-chan:
"For the record: Tofurkey goes best with golden curry and root vegetables."
~~~~~~~~
I know that tofurkey is made out of tofu (I recall my daughter having that one year with some vegetarian roommates), but what I can't remember is: was it shaped into something resembling an actual turkey? Or what.
And what is it flavored with?
Gooble Gooble y'all ! may be my new Thanksgiving greeting!