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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Thursday
Oct132011

No Butts!

You know bakeries are cracking down pretty hard when they feel the need to remove the "ass" from "Associate."

"Oh, thank goodness! Now our children are safe!"

 

 

 

Thanks to Stephen H. & Julie W., who I assume will be assuaged by my assurance that this situation will be assessed by my asstute associates.  

 

Fun Fact: If you add an extra "s" to "astute," it sounds like "ass toot."

You're welcome.

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Reader Comments (33)

The expression on that little girls face is priceless.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commentergoog

It's a beginning, but we must not rest until we remove the "tit" from titanium, the "butt" from butter and
don't get me started on cockamamy. Only then, will that little girl be able to have a normal expression.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuBee

But (haha) seriously, they couldn't bother to learn (ASS)Ociate's name before making the oh-so-personal gift of a personalized cake? People make no sense.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterkendall

hehe ass toot

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterKaren

When did wreckerators develop scruples? That would be a cakeworthy event in its own right.

More likely, the recipient's name really is Ociate (oh-see-ah-tay) and he or she is being wished 'good luck' on the name change because s/he has been dealing with the jokes since approximately age 1 and s/he's about to go postal. Of course, the process will simply have to be repeated, since the new name chosen was a toss-up between 'Ortment' and 'Embly'.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

OMG D:

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterMINDY1

Similar to the Japanese golden poo, the Northern Minnesotan ocelot is a good luck charm little understood by people outside the culture that invented it. Thus when a customer in Western Oklahoma asked for a Good Luck Ocelot cake, they got a lumpen text banner with the obligatory spelling error.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterNaomi

There's an "ass" hole joke in there somewhere... ;-)

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJ.

Okay, the ass toot was just too much for me!! I can never go back to just regular, old astute any longer.

From your old pal, imilate.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterTor2ga

Yup, that poor little girl is embarrassed. I'm sure she wasn't harassed at all about getting a cake like that...

The person that got it for her must have been a real boob!

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLoo-E Loo-I

What really stands out on that cake is the complete and utter lack of any sort of decoration, save the sparkly pompom thing in the corner :\ That's just...odd. And sorely lacking the good luck spirit.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda H

I like to think that second photo shows little Jen on her birthday.

Probably not really the case, but close enough.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterGary

Is putting the inscription on separate ribbons of frosting / fondant a new trend? Though I could see where that would simplify correction and/or allow the cake to be more easily re-sold in the event of refusal, it looks inine.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

This reminds me of an essay I did in 7th grade history. I don't remember the topic, but it had something to do with historical figures and assassination. Only, in my 7th grade writing haste, "assassination" was spelled "assination". My teacher announced it to the class when he handed the essays back. I was mortified. True story.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJenna

I'm disturbed by the girl with the boob cake...Why did she get a size double-D boob cake for her birthday? Was she starting puberty? Were her folks hoping her boobages would grow to that size?

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterThe Girl from New York

The little girl is me! (a looong time ago, just turned 30 - eeesh). It's actually my dads 'birthday cake' made for him by some of the bakery ladies at one of the many Slatters Bakeries in S.E London he drove for. I pulled that face when he lumbered through the door with it which made everyone giggle, obviously i was born to notice cake wreckage! Mum and i re-created it for a photo... whiiiich has been passed around all of my big birthdays/events ever since. Yeah. But woohoo for getting on Cake Wrecks, lifetime achievement accomplished! Thanks! x

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJulie W

Ass toot. Heh. That will have me laughing all afternoon.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterChristie

I have GOT to know the story behind that photo!!

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJessica

I was thinking maybe the recipient was an exotic cat, and the wreckerator missed a letter. But then, I like cats. And eggs. And ass-toots.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma

Reminds me of my favorite 'edgy' joke when I was about 8. -Parents got a phone call on the first day of school. "Your daughter claims her name is Happy Butt." When the child was questioned she said, "Gladys ... Happy Butt, what's the difference?"- ...Okay. I was 8!

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterCarol

@Kendall, I think the cake was not meant to say "Good luck, Danny" or "Good luck, Sarah". It meant to say "Good luck, associate" as in "You became an associate in our law firm, Good Luck!"

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSkeptic

I'm more concerned about the tinsel ball on the side... Mmmm, tinsel?

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterasec

Where the heck are the sprinkles?

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterSuzanne

Wait. "Astute" ISN'T a noun?

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterPhilip

Thanks, Julie, for relieving my mind. I'm so happy to know no one decided a giant boob-cake was something every little girl needed on her birthday. :)
Oh, and Congradsulashuns on your lifetime acheivement award! I'm so jealous!

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterLis

along those lines: I'll consider myself grown up when I can write the first 8 letters of extravaganza without giggling.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterdiddy

lol that reminds me of the filters on my mom's school comp. I was confused about what an 'osciate was'

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterali

I have to wonder what was written underneath the thick banners of icing.

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterRanchMommy

wow, that cake is iced as smooth as a baby's ociate! and then the quilted banners!

(didn't we do a lot of poo-pooing of a cake just recently?)

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterBarbara Anne

Diddy. I hate you now.

*giggling*

October 13, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterJeepchic

Barbara Anne! Smooth as a baby's ociate ---- that'll have me laughing even more than ass toot! Brilliant

October 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterG.M.S.

Lol that poor kid.. Now I am wondering who exactly that cake was for?

October 14, 2011 | Unregistered CommenterArlene

I read the cake out loud to my daughter and then realized it sounds very close to "oh, sh*t". Oops! :)

October 14, 2011 | Unregistered Commenterbabs

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