Columbus Day!
October 10, 2011 Many years ago, some guy somewhere decided that Columbus Day and Canadian Thanksgiving should be on the same day. Did this guy take into account that this might be terribly inconvenient for future cake blogs? Of course not. However, since we did Canadian Thanksgiving cakes last year, I figured we'd do Columbus Day cakes this year. After all, we don't want to offend our Colombian readers.
Right then.
Bring on the Columbus Day cakes!
[furiously flipping through 17,000 cakes]
[pursing lips]
[steepling fingers]
[sighing resignedly]
Right then.
Bring on the Canadian Thanksgiving cakes!
;)
Okay, that's weird. This one looks a lot like poo.
;)
Huh. So does this one.
;)
I'm definitely seeing a trend here.
In fact, if I didn't know better...
;)
And so, in conclusion: all turkey cakes look like poo.
Happy Thanksgiving, Canada.
Also, in the words of the famous Canadian actor, Jeff Goldblum*:
;)
"Heeeelp meeeee!" [bzzzt bzzzt]
*Citation needed.
Thanks to Melissa R., Courtney B., Monica P., Aaron, Elaine M., Katey S., Kelli E., Marcy P., Paula W., and Vicky J. for letting us see a turkey fly.
Reader Comments (86)
Oh. Yuck. They DO look like poo. I have 4 dogs and have to clean up the yard, I know what poo looks like --- exactly like these cakes. This just might be the post that turns me off of eating cake FOREVER. Thanks, Jen... (And to think I used to LOVE cake...)
poo turkeys, mmmmm and I think JG is from Pittsburgh.
Even though the actual turkey looks like poo, I think the second to the last one was gorgeous.
Actually, they look like flaming poo. I'm happy to see all these bakers are following the food guidelines for cooking poultry thoroughly. With Halloween approaching, I can just picture someone putting a flaming poo turkey on a doorstep, ringing the bell, and running away.
The third one from the, um, bottom also resembles intestines. Which I guess is appropriate.
eeew and gross! Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
A few of these look like Mr Hankey in Halloween costumes.
Thank goodness I didn't make cake for dessert for Thanksgiving. I don't think I'd be able to eat it now.
Totally scatological. I only just realized turkeys are "Fall-colored" peacocks with dangles down from their head instead of up.
bzzt bzzt
Oh dear. On the second to last one, the turkey "neck" also has two circular swirls at its, um, base... O.o
Phew...! What is that fowl smell......? Gotta love a good poo cake! And for the purists...it was David Hedison in the original movie (1958) -- not a very high-tech film, but scared the crap (in keeping with today's theme) out of a young boy......
Reminds me of the Human Centipede movies, and no, you definitely do not want to know.
Oh my...I love chocolate, but these cakes look nasty D:
Nasty, crappy, piles of doo-doo cakes. Ug.
Anyone got a fork?? ;-)
Obviously, they are turdkeys.
Jeff Goldblum is from Pittsburgh!
[Editor's note- Actually, I'm pretty sure he's from Canada. I definitely read it somewhere on the internet. -john]
Even my 10 year old son said they were all gross. That says volumes.
Wow, making all those cakes must have been a big job.....
Um I think I'll stick with real turkeys lol
If you look at the third one carefully, he appears to be giving a campaign speech. His right hand (wing) is pointing and his left is giving a thumbs up. When you think about it, a turkey running for office is way too common,.
Heh, John, I totally thought you were going to say, "...on a steeek" after that first one!
(In case you don't know what I'm talking about, Google Jeff Dunham)
Ever since I began reading Cake Wrecks, I don't think I have looked at a cake picture on here that the chocolate frosting does NOT look like dog crap. :(
"Well, HOWDY HO!!"
I knew there was a reason I was in the mood to listen to Rush today! (Canada, not poo!)
I always know Fall is here when these start showing up!
Nice post, John (hubby of Jen)!
So over the weekend I thought I'd make some chocolate cupcakes with chocolate frosting. I love to make my cupcakes look pretty so I used my decorating kit and the first few looked really cute. As I went on....I had a flashback to some of your previous poo cake posts and realized I was committing the same mistake. So yeah.....I totally make my cupcakes look as non-poo like as possible.
That first "if I didn't know better" poo pile appears to be a poo pile wearing a lei and a grass skirt. Anyone? No? Just me?
It's a conspiracy. You see, the Turkeys want us to associate eating turkey with eating poo. Then we'll stop buying turkey. Don't give in. Don't stop buying turkey. Don't... *takes another look at the cakes* Rats. They got to me. This Thanksgiving we'll eat hamburgers. At least those can't be made to look like poo. Right? Right?!!!!
I'm CAN'T be the only one who saw the second to last turkey and saw something... well... cocky I think is word I'm looking for.
Hahahaha, as a Colombian reader, I thank you for being considerate enough to not want to offend us. And I am SO GLAD that you spelled "Colombian" correctly!
They DO look like Mr Hankey! Um I also think that many of them also look a heck of a lot like something R-rated. Maybe I'm just a dirty, dirty Canadian. *hangs head in shame*
On top of Columbus Day and Canada's thanksgiving, today also happens to be national cake decorating day! jen, you should try to create national cake wreckorating day, it would be a big hit.
Well, Pittsburgh has hockey so I guess that's close enough to Canada, and apparently Mr. Goldblum is a particularly relevant choice:
http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/x-is-watching-you-y
i think that second to last one looks like a penis shaped out of poo. i just ruined my lunch.
I'm suspecting that Columbus Day cakes in general don't exist because it's such a politically incorrect holiday these days.
Also, it's extremely sad that these adults can't make a turkey beyond the level of what you'd expect from a kindergarten class, made with a tracing of a hand and all.
I think these might be Mr. Hanky's family, his uncle, Mr. Dick Hanky, the Thanksgiving poo, and the cousins, from the Poo side of the family(and may also be related to, but all have denied a kinship with Mr. Nutty Dump)...but these cakes seem to scream..."Howdy-ho",
Have you ever seen a turkey? They are not pretty.
The second cake? Psychedelic pooh. Flaming psychedelic pooh
Actually, my friend and I decided that Columbus wasn't much of a hero, so we renamed the holiday. It's now George Lucas Day. 'Cuz he's way cooler.
Happy George Lucas Day everyone!
I also thought if turkeys evolved to look like poo, we'd stop eating them. But if they did look like poo, I think people would probably still go out of their way to kill them, so there's no way the turkeys could win this one. I mean, aren't you offended enough by the looks of these cakes to want to destroy (though not necessarily eat) them all?
It is not widely known, but turkeys and poo are key characters in a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle short story. Though seldom anthologized, the story, “The Case of the Irritable Fowl Syndrome,” centers on an evil turkey farmer who feeds his flock laxatives in order to keep them thin, thus thwarting the local town’s plan for a Thanksgiving feast. No one can understand what’s happening and the mayor calls in Sherlock Holmes to get to the bottom, so to speak, of this. With the help of Dr. Watson, he does, and, of course, it all ends well. Pleased that the turkeys were cured, Dr. Watson proudly proclaimed, in a phrase tht later became somewhat pejorative, “No sh*t, Sherlock.”
It was in this story that Holmes first uttered his famous catchphrase, which, unfortunately, has been misquoted ever since: “Why, it’s alimentary, my dear Watson.”
[Editor's note- Man, I take a nap for a little while and I come back to find this. Genius. Pure genius. -john]
I have two replies to that. First, are we sure it wasn't George Lucas himself who went back and changed the holiday? Thanks to the magic of digital editing, Columbus' journey took them by some really fantastic looking sea-creatures. Including one that looks suspiciously like Jar-Jar Binks.
My second reply is... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
I really liked the cake that was in pink tones. It still has the Thanksgiving feeling, but with a feminine flare, which is great for a girl with a Thanksgiving birthday!
Denise
The turkey faces look like Mr Hankie "The Christmas Poo" from South Park! LOL
My 10 year old has some words of wisdom:: "Bakers should stay away from making anything that requires brown frosting."
Can we just outlaw brown frosting? Cause no matter what you do with it, it LOOKS LIKE POO.
@mel makes an excellent case for pun control. [grin]
Jeff Goldblum is from Pittsburgh, according to the seconds I spent scanning Dogpile (my favorite search engine, the name of which just happens to tie into today's theme). Although I have seen him in a Canadian-produced TV series: 'Ray Bradbury Theater'. Are we trying to start an EPCOT here, John (thoJ)?
#1 The 'eat ham not turkey' sign is pretty much redundant.
#3 looks like a TV network logo. Just sayin'. One may read into that anything one likes.
#4... Make it stop.
#5 I'm pretty sure the wattles on a turkey don't look like that. (I had to pick something, ok?) I researched 'wattles' on Wikipedia and found out about ten times more than I ever wanted to know.
I think Jeff Goldblum said it best when he said, "[unintelligible] chaos theory." That's a direct quote from 'Jurassic Park'.
I LOVE the Sherlock Holmes story - clears up so many misconceptions......alimentary indeed!
Well, I don't know, that second to last one looked kinda like a snail covered by an ugly doily....
That first one made me think of the eye of sauron when i saw the thumbnail on facebook.
My excellent turkey cakes are all huddled in a corner and are crying inside after seeing those cakes.
How come making a turkey is so hard?