What's Our Name? And What Are We Celebrating?
July 5, 2010 Yesterday we came together as a nation to celebrate. What we were celebrating depends on which bakery you visited.
This one is really fond of "Ame:"
The good news is that this is a "display only" cake. So your cake probably won't look like this.It'll be much, much worse.
Here's a bakery that appreciates blue bananas and dive-bombing banana spiders:
Yellow Spider: "Cowabungaaa!!!"
See, when you put the blue bit in the middle, it's more balanced.Another option:
Because stripes are so last century.Then there was the slightly less popular but still wildly successful "Redesign America" contest:
All these years, and I had no idea I was living in a giant uvula.
Today doesn't need yesterday OR tomorrow. Yeah. So there.
Either that plastic flag is upside down, or this is a really patriotic volcano/mushroom cloud. Or - OR - the American version of the eye of Sauron: the eye of Sam, maybe? Eh? Eh? Bwahahahaaa!
Hm? No, actually, I didn't get much sleep last night. Why do you ask?
Free dome enjoys ringing. Free dome wants to ring.So let the dome ring, man. Let it ring.
Thank goodness wreckporter Gina asked this bakery what "4ID" stood for.Sally B., Ariel L., Elizabeth J., Leslie J., Rebekah W., Laura T., Beth H., Jaela N., Dawnan H., & Gina P., gr8 w!
Reader Comments (88)
I really didn't think it could get worse. Really.
*faceplant*
Reaffirming my promise to never BUY cakes and to continue to make them myself.
*sigh*
If we all rose up and never bought them, would they get better? Or would the staff continue to make such monstrosities so they got to eat the leftovers?
~~Di
wv -- nysti -- those are some really nysti cakes.
Mrs. Nerd thought the Freedome cake was for bald folks.
What has America (or is it Amerika) come to? Are our school systems failing our children? Do they spend too much time teaching what's going to be on the state standardized test that they don't teach basics like what the flag looks like, how to spell, how to draw a simple mushroom cloud? Why, why, why!!!!
*shakes head, sighs*
(Note: Enlarge the mushroom cloud CCC and look to left. Is that a plastic fireworks thingy or an arsenal of nuclear warheads? Might explain the mushroom cloud.)
I love the light reflection on the "stars as stripes" cake. It almost looks like the ghost of Betsy Ross is about to give that monstrosity a big ol' forehead flick.
I think the "mushroom cloud" cake is possibly supposed to be the Liberty Bell. And the only reason I think that is because I don't have a creative bone in my body, so if I tried to make a cake look like the Liberty Bell, it would probably look just like that.
You may be living in a giant uvula, but Michigan was taken right off the map!
So where the hell am I?!!! How am I here!? Do I exist!!?
Wow. Never thought baked goods would make me question my mortality.
That last one could be a tribute to the Fourth Infantry Division. We usually call it 4ID. :)
You know, to give the baker plausible deniability...
"No, that's not a wreck. That's a tribute to the Ivy Division! You know, with no ivy."
Oh good god, what is with people
Wow. A circular flag... interesting! And uh... SIX stripes? And what about the fifty stars??? What happened to them huh? HUH??? I guess some of them were slacking off so they lost their job or something.
Dive-bombing banana spiders... brilliant. :D
Horrible wreckage...awesome Harry Potter reference!
The second to last one looks like Bing and therefore Microsoft is now infiltrating our bakeries to advertise there crappy search engine.
A bit less than nine years ago, somebody out on Snows Road wrote "God Bless America" on their plastic sectional fencing. It looked like a heartfelt (if somewhat sloppily-written) tribute for a few months, until the "rica" section fell over and nobody bothered to replace it. I think of the first cake as a tribute to the seven-year reign of the "God Bless Ame" fence.
I'm not sure, but I think that mushroom cloud/volcano thingy cake was intended to be a representation of an Uncle Sam hat.
Maybe.
Flying an American flag upside-down is a well-known distress signal. Coincidence? I think not. These cakes all need HELLLP!
Tipping my hat to the "Spiders, it's always spiders" line, because that's what I always thought it shoulda been.
Those cakes are sad but serious points for making both a Harry Potter AND Lord of the Rings reference when the cakes were about the 4th of July.
Turn the mushroom cloud 90 degrees to the left. I think it was supposed to be Uncle Sam's hat. (Note I still say "supposed to be.")
.and here I thought Florida was America's wang (too much TV for me).
These hurt me inside.
"free dome" was probably some teenage guy trying to get some haha
Dad humens have to fight for freedome!
Also, I think the last one was meant to be http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_%28film%29" rel="nofollow">ID4?
Wow... 4ID, huh? It actually combines my loathing of nonsensical abbreviation with cake wrecking! LOL
The Freedome cake was probably decorated by Dan "Potatoe" Quayle.
Long-time lurker and fan saying Howdy from Texas! That's the other dangly bit on that quasi-USA cake... ;-)
Don't look now, but I think that USA cake is a dreaded CCC, too! And am I the only one that thinks Florida needs a little blue pill...? ;-)
I'm seeing either a Liberty Bell if you view it from the right-side-up flotsam flag, or Uncle Sam's hat if you view it the other way. So it's a trick cake like the pretty girl/ugly old hag picture. Except this cake is just ugly/ugly.
As far as the spider cake, I see cattails or even worse rising up to the sky. When I first saw the quote, "Why does it always have to be spiders?" I thought of Indiana Jones, but he was talking about snakes instead.
Sharon's Edible Art
Maybe the "Freedome" cake was a tribute to a new En Vogue song about discrimination of bald people:
"Free your dome, and the rest will follow. Be hair blind, don't be so shallow."
My daughter and I always check the cake display in our grocery store for wrecks, but haven't really found any. Even when the design is borderline wrecky, the execution is done well. I am amazed that the places selling these wrecks count on someone to actually pay for them.
wv: destr -- the "oy" was used up when viewing these wrecks.
Back when the movie Independence Day came out, it was given a short title of "ID 4". Maybe the baker remembered that bit of stupid advertising but got it wrong?
Blue *banana*. Of course. Sure.
Hey, I've seen "Ame" used as a nickname for "Amy." I don't know why a two-syllable name needs a nickname, but (shrug) I've seen it.
I'm going with Uncle Sam's hat on that one with the upside down plastic flag.
And isn't an upside down flag a distress signal.....which fits.
you know, I actually think that little "eye of Sam" bugger could be an american jellyfish. You never know, it could happen. ish.
I think the last cake is supposed to be a tribute to the movie Independence Day, only that was ID 4, not 4ID...just a thought
The saddest thing is that your "uvula" comment made me cringe for a second before I remembered what an uvula actually is. I'm just smart like that. ^^;;;
I thought it was a jellyfish as well. A very patriotic jellyfish.
I agree that last cake was probably supposed to be ID4, but it made me think that maybe they were asking for ID... Do you have to be over 21 to purchase that cake?
Or, on the last cake - you are a 9 year old who comes up with the answer...... no, she doesn't text. It must be just how their minds work.....
Ohhhh I thought 4ID was for 4th ID and I got all excited my old unit got featured on a cake. I mean, yeah it's a crappy cake but I was still excited...
I think the mushroom cloud thingy is really Uncle Sam's top hat - rotate it to the left, one quarter turn. Am I right?
I want the "Independent Day" for my Divorce cake! Whee~ lol
I wish we had cakes like this in England but it's such a delight seeing your collected disasters and crying with laughter at all the comments. It does just keep on getting worse - magic!
Let freedome bing indeed.
4ID = Fourth Infantry Division.
Crap...I really *do* text too much!
I'm just wondering what those people who commented on the comparitively minor imperfections on yesterday's cakes must think of today's monstrosities! We should always remember- it can always get worse.
-Sarah
One of my summer class professors, who is Chinese, wished us all a "happy Independent day!" in an email on Friday. Seeing that phrase here made me laugh and laugh. Good times!
I didn't think things could get any funnier but it just got worse and worse, LOL!!! Priceless!!
Just what are those bananas *supposed* to be? A July-themed advertisement for an anti-STI clinic?! (Although I liked the TMNT reference!!)
Given that the "map" is a CCC, how hard would it have been to have moved "Texas" over so it wasn't on top of poor Louisiana???? Seriously, haven't the Gulf states suffered enough -- and now they're eliminated?
The mushroom cloud could be a very weird old-fashioned telephone (the white banana is the handset, the red stripes is where the dial should be....). It's either that or a Rorschach test!
The 4ID... a texting psychology major?
The mushroom cloud cake is obviously Uncle Sam's hat.
If you turn it just a scootch, the image on the giant cookie with a *flag* is actually a windsock.
I also thought 4th Infantry Division when I saw the cake, but only because that's what unit I'm currently in. I said, "That's not a wreck!" - then I read the comment underneath. Just when you think you can help the bakery out...
For the the eye of Sam, my 7 year old is sitting next to me and say "What is that?... a boat" I said, "No it's not a boat"... she said then "it's a hat with streamers on it".
Kids know these things!