Rear View Wreckage
June 10, 2010 Loyal henchpersons, I won't lie to you: today's post scares the bejeepers out of me.
You see, if ever a Wreck was cursed on this blog, it is the Baby Butt Cake:
I first posted one waaaay back in the infant days of Wrecks, but I soon had to pull the photo when I learned the baker was not a pro. So, I replaced it with a different butt cake. This time the baker was a pro, but was also none too pleased at having her creation be the butt of my butt jokes. So, I pulled THAT photo. (To date, I've only had about 8 or 9 bakers ever ask me to remove a photo. Not a bad record, for all that.)
At that point I decided the post was cursed, and left it.
However, today, dear readers, I face my fears. You see, the butt cake phenomenon has been growing unchecked, and is now threatening to overrun the world's baby showers. My friends, we cannot let this happen. Even if the cakes are well-executed,* I ask you: where is the sense? Where is the "cute?"
[*Heh. "Well-executed." Heh.]
Other bakers unashamedly go with the Bisected Baby approach, figuring that a little fondant draping over that waist jutting off the side somehow makes the whole thing "work."
And since we're obviously not letting a trifling thing like anatomy get in the way, why NOT have Gumby knees?
Ouch.This one almost looks like a head and hands popping up:
While this one makes me really....uncomfortable.
[looking left and right] Um...Ok. Yeah. I'm just going to go ahead and say it:
The "Barely There Censor Bear" is really earning his money today.
And finally, let's end with something so hilarious that I have no choice but(t) to believe the baker is mocking the entire Baby Butt genre:
Yes!!If you must have a butt cake, then this is the one to have.
(Always go for comedy over cute with body part cakes. It's safer that way.)
Reader Comments (114)
The last one looks like a breakdancing baby that was partially honored in a cake.
(Get it? Partially?)
I can't believe you didn't make some kind of crack about the bottom on the "baby boy" cake! Look at that split! IT goes WAAAYY up, in a very unnatural way.
And the last cake? That has some issues too. Look at the way the right leg is attached (Or isn't, as the case is) to the cake!
that first cake---that diaper is too full. I'd be afraid they used chocolate cake underneath. yikes. What are the bakers thinking? Who wants to cut into a baby's behind? Not me.
The one with the ducks? Would have been cute but for the butt.
Except that "baby boy" in quotes leaves me a little concerned. Are they not SURE it's a baby boy?
All I can think of is how even more horiffic these wrecks would look once you start cutting in to them.
Wow. If I showed up at a baby shower and saw one of these cakes (minus #'s 5 and 6) I would be delighted and gush about how cute they are.
That said, it looks like the baker on #5 is really good a making a spotted cake, but had NO IDEA what to do with the poor baby's legs and feet. They look worse than Aunt Mary's cellulite-covered thighs in a bikini bottom.
Can't believe you missed the "Bearly There Censor Bear"!
GET IT!? BEARLY, BECAUSE IT'S A BEAR, and it's even a wreck in its own.
Can i have a bit of leg? Loved the commentary, as usual. You made me have a happy Thursday.
Where is taste in all these?
The bits that tell whether it is a boy/girl, where are they?
In the cuts?
yowza.
May the fad be over quickly.
mocking
Trevor and Rose,
Jen doesn't "miss" things. She's never late to the party, so to speaks. She arrives exactly when she means to!
That is all.
john
Oh boy...or girl...or we just want to be suprised...*Shakes Head*
Annnyyywaaay, I had to text my sis and send her over here, and have her promise that nothing like today's examples would happen at her baby shower. I am still waiting on the promise.
All of them . . . are horrible!
There's something really wrong about the last one, really because of the message "Get Out of there Nathanial!" If a baby is "getting out of there" feet first and already diapered there are too many levels of wrong to address.
There's something really wrong about the last one, really because of the message "Get Out of there Nathanial!" If a baby is "getting out of there" feet first and already diapered there are too many levels of wrong to address.
Blargh, I do not want to eat butts! XP
They all look like crime scenes to me. Really, really bad crime scenes with polka-dotted sheets to cover the gruesome bits.
I wanna know how those legs are held up. By something very hard and crunchy, I would guess.
LOL I actually like *some* baby butt cakes, and have made one myself for a coworker, but you didn't eat the actual baby butt. That would be too weird. :-p It was rice krispy treats on a cake board, and we pulled that off, then ate the cake underneath. BUT, some of these freak me out. LOL
Ashley
I absolutely HATE these types of cakes, and am a little frightened that they are gaining in popularity. These are right up there with the pregger belly cake. C-section anyone??
Who can honestly go to a shower and enjoy a slice of an infant???
These are so canaballistic in nature they just scream, "I have no class and no taste, where's my shower gift?"
I just shake my head in disbelief that these even exist.
Oh, wow...
I just cannot understand this trend. There are SOOOOO many things that are baby-related. Why would you want to eat the BABY, much less its BUTT!
OH, THE HUMANITY!
LOL! John, I was trying to get my own pun in (in honor of Jen!). SOrry, humor writing has never been my specialty (Probably one of the reasons I don't have a blog of my own!)
At first glance I thought #1 was an egg over-easy covered with moldy cheese. As if that wasn't terrifying enough, I then realized that the egg had sprouted legs!
"Barely There Censor Bear"
I just choked on my cheerios.
Funny story about your previous baby cake posts: At a recent baby shower I attended some friends and I were discussing the "look just like a real baby" cakes, when one of them said "I don't know, I don't think it would bother me too much to eat a baby" *just* as the room went dead silent. The mom-to-be (who was not part of the conversation, and was sitting on the other side of the room), looked over with the most horrified look on her face. We quickly explained that we were talking about *cake*, but it was quiet the red-faced moment for my friend!
Trevor,
Don't worry. You rock absolutely.
Thanks and Wreck On!
john
That first one has jaundice. Check out that orane skin (awfully gloss, too!) quite a load in that diaper, too. I wonder if it's filled with chocolate mousse.
#2 just emphasizes how creepy this whole trend is!
#3 If I were at that shower I would be soooo tempted to put a tootsie roll or hershey's kiss between the feet. or a smudge of chocolate on the crack. just to remind them of what a BAD idea this is.
#4: i like the colors and the ruffles and the banner. chunky baby legs, not so much.
#5: lumpy feet, cauliflower skin, no butt crack. that one is wrong on SO many levels. what's in the bowl behind it???
*shakes head at number 6*
#7: "This one almost looks like a head and hands popping up" (agreed. totally see it)
#8: has the best legs and skin tone (yay fondant!) and doesn't look like it's buried in the cake, but that the baby is leaning over the side. but still chopped in half. some wiseass someday is going to drip red jam down the side of one of these.
"The "Barely There Censor Bear" is really earning his money today." ROFL that's a money quote!
I think Nathaniel is related to Pinocchio. Those little wooden feet, and the hinged knees....but at least it's funny.
Good grief these are horrifying!! Butt they crack me up...
"Barely there censor bear" nearly killed me. I laughed so hard I choked on my hummus and cracker.
I love this site. Just way too much.
The Breakdancing Nathaniel cake is the only one remotely anatomically correct. It has some difficulty with the joints, but at least the legs seem to be attached to hips, instead of just floating on the top of the cake.
Not for the first time, I ask: What's cute about chopping up babies and eating them? And are these cakes expressing a wish for a breech birth?
Why...oh why would anyone ever order a cake that looked like that!
OK, I don't really like these cakes - I find them disturbing, but I shudder to think about what would happen if the bakers decided to try to create the heads/faces of babies...maybe we are safer with just the butts...
Jenn
Is it bad that my first reaction to the "Baby Boy" cake was that they missed an opportunity to reinforce that message?
Perhaps not since someone else had the same idea down the page. I wonder if the "censor bear" was not originally there, until someone put his or her foot down.
Would it be better if one of these came as part of a matched set, with the front half of the baby coming out of a second cake?
I HAVE to comment on the last two. The second to last looks okay in terms of the baby part (he's hanging over the SIDE; he's not inside the cake), but the cake itself is badly done. (And again, who would want to cut into a baby?)
Breakdancing Nathaniel is just awesome. I know what they're trying to get at, but it's like they're asking him to get out of the cake.
But yeah, all the other cakes stink.
WV: brani - If these bakers were brani, they would've never made this type of cake.
Geez, I haven't been to a baby shower recently...and thank goodness for that!
I really want a snarky comment that would "split" you all up, "butt" I have none.
Shall we take a poll?
What's worse, the pregnant belly torso cakes, the realistic baby cakes, or the baby butt cakes?
eww, Joel, what an idea!
You've heard of babies raised by wolves? Well, I believe these are all babies raised by ostriches. They're only doing what they've been taught, and cake is a much better thing to bury your head in then sand.
um, "orange" and "glossy." what's happening to my typing skills today?
Yeah, I've always been anti-eating a baby, I and make cakes a little bit myself but with no interest in making baby butt cakes ever!
Baby Got Back came on the radio right as I clicked on your blog.
Is that perfect or what?!?
My own baby shower is coming up in a couple weeks, and these scare the bejeebers out of me too. Pleeeeeease don't let anything like this show up! (I specifically showed the hostess the Darth Vader cake on here in hopes of heading off the pseudo-cute stuff like these!)
OMG that bear! That bear! Hahaha! Wow, I don't understand the baby-butt cakes at all.
The first baby's butt looks like a giant golf ball. Honestly, look closely (if you dare) and you will see golf ball dimples on that unnaturally spherical behind!
I still don't understand eating animal or human cakes. (I'm not a vegetarian...just don't get slicing up Fido)
These baby cakes (and all the realistic people cakes) just make me think about the slogan "Babies, the Other White Meat"
or, even worse,
"I like babies, but I can't eat a whole one by myself."
If I had been at a shower with one of these cakes when I was pregnant, it would have be time for nightmares and would have put me off cake for ages.
WV granumsh=the sound made when piting into a tasty cake.
While all the other ones terrify and nauseate me, the last one cracks me up! It also looks really well made, I love the detail on the front of the diaper, and the Cabbage Patch knees :p Granted I still wouldn't want to cut into anything resembling a body part, so thankfully it looks as though there is still plenty of yummy cake once you remove the butt and legs!
That naked-butt duck cake doesn't look like a little boy to me. Clearly the wreckerator needs an anatomy lesson ;)
Then again, nearly all of them have oddly shaped behinds & legs. At least #5 lays no claim to realism (nice lettering, though!).
Love the "bearly there" comment-- and that cake is the best of the serious ones, and the Nathaniel one is hilarious (clearly, this will when he's a toddler!)-- clever baker. Although the egg-like polka dots (yolka-dots??) are a bit disconcerting.
If these cakes were mocking toddlers "diving in" to a cake, they'd be cute. But infants would suffocate-- and if they're of sleeping babies, clearly these bakers haven't gotten the "back to sleep" message (reduces risk of SIDS). So I can't see anything cute about that at all...
Joel Polowin said...
"Would it be better if one of these came as part of a matched set, with the front half of the baby coming out of a second cake?"
********
Well, let's think about that for a bit.
Even if the halves "matched," their being in two separate cakes would hint at the severing of the halves, so unpleasantness reigns.
The other scenario is that it might look like two, unrelated half-babies, each with its other half missing. Double indemnity...(as in, "demned if you do/demned if you don't"). A lose/lose proposition, any way you slice it, I say.
Let's just forget the whole/half thing, shall we?
=^e.e^=
OM OM OM.... I am lmbo (pun intended) on that last one legs akimbo!!!
Thank you so much for injecting some outrageous hilarity into my day!!!
Though, I find I must admit, these cakes are much better 'executed' than most you post.
As to a baker taking offence at being posted here -- get a grip - YOU DECORATED IT! I would think the free publicity would be worth it, so people can come in to laugh and then find that most of the creations at said place are not of the Wrecky variety.
We can hope.
~~Di
wv - neson -- that last baby cake was for neson. Ne loves his new son.
my 2 year old saw these and now is running around saying "BUM" "BUM" "BUM"!!!!