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What's a Wreck?
A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.
Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)
- Jen
May 14, 2010
Reader Comments (146)
Oh man. I'm pretty sure I've frosted cakes better than the groom's cake!
And those are considered *professional* cakes. YIKES.
However, the tuxedo strawberries look nice.
On the bright side - it seems like their tuxedo chocolate covered strawberries turned out well!
Does the 2nd one actually say "Crousty" & Jim? Good Grief! I also noticed a new car manufacturer on the groom cake, I guess a "Toyot" is a smaller version of a Toyota?
vs - hospholi, as in where the cake decorator would be after the bride was finished with her
Oh wow! There has to be more of a story to these cakes! A probably sad to the bride, but funny to everyone else story.
Oh no!
I agree; the strawberries look yummy :)
Folks, you're overreaching. Those strawberries are a mess. They only look good when you put them next to those cakes.
You know, the second cake isn't nearly as wreck-tastic as the first one. *shudder*
Not that the second one isn't as bad, but I actually don't think I'd guess they were done by the same person (maybe they weren't?)
So, what do you do when you've got two really ugly cakes? Chuck random rose petals all over the place and hope they'll distract people.
Is that a beaver or a woodchuck on top of that police badge?
Look, I'm just a mom who bakes cakes at home for family and church functions, and I wouldn't send one that is frosted that badly! Talk about embarrassing...
I really hope that bride got back at least some of her money! Those are awful!
wOw, I'm not sure the wedding cake should be considered a wreck... nor should it cost $600 or well anything really (maybe a nice gesture from your friendly bakery), but still not a wreck... the grooms cake on the other hand, is a wreck, in fact I would say it has enough wreck in it for both of the cakes...
They paid $1000 for those?!?! Who are these people, and why can't I find customers who will settle for crap like that?!?!
I would love to see a pic of the bride and groom....camo wedding gown??
Wow...just wow. I think I may forgo putting out the cake at the wedding and call myself a rebel.
OMG... I like pink; but between the walls the table coverings and the cake there is just too much pink.
And the ghastly red faux flowers hanging from the wall behind the cake table don't help a bit.
Holy toledo!! Is that supposed to be a car on the groom's cake?? I seriously thought it was a cassette tape!
That stuff had better of tasted good... because otherwise there's zero redeeming quality!
A THOUSAND DOLLARS? Surely you jest.
I'm from Texas. It is great here, no doubt, but man, we sure can wreck hard! Yikes! Double wow, I'm from Fort Worth (born and raised) where wreck #1 is from.... facepalm*
*tap,tap,tap*
Is this thing on?
Are you guys kidding me with the whole "The squished pink $600 wedding cake that a right handed five year old decorated with his left hand blindfolded is NOT a wreck?!?!"
Really?!
Well, apparently, today must be National Sunshine Happy Joy day and nobody told me.
Wreck On!
john
This is the SAME WEDDING???! AHH! Oh, I can tell it is by the tuxedo-sportin' strawberries on the table. Oh, the horror...
I was hoping that $1000 was a joke....but from John's post there, I'm thinking it's not! Holy. Crap. I've done about 20-25 cakes now, and the kick the A$$ of either of those cakes (but hello, especially the Groom's cake-did they even ATTEMPT to smooth it out????) The most I've made on a cake so far? $50. Heck, with my skills, I could have charged these morons $5000. :)
Yikes! If these are the cakes served at a wedding, that's grounds for divorce before the reception is even over.
Tamara Mitchell
Please tell me they sued, or didn't pay, one of the two....
WV: chper. I could have made better cakes for chper than those two.
:O
That is right shameful.
I'm no Martha Stewart, but even *I* could slap frosting on smoother than that first globulosity (groom's cake). And wtf with the the barbells and gadgets? ("Look! The groom has HOBBIES! He's still HIMSELF, even as he gives up his freedom.")
Yay for him.
I like the top and bottom layers of the wedding cake, in the way that I like Dr. Seuss illustrations. Funky-quirky. The middle layer is "eh." Or "unh"...like a punch in the stomach.
Is it Sunday yet?
=^e.e^=
Now, I've not had a wedding myself...but I'd like to think if the baker showed up with that groom's cake, somebody who loves me would toss the cake in their face, demand the money back, and run down to WalMart for a plain ol' sheet cake with flowers already on it.
Those cakes show lots of bad judgement, from the bride, to the baker, to whoever accepted the delivery.
wv: addon "If we just put more of these addons, no one will notice the frosting crevices!"
@Jasry- LOL! My sentiments exactly! :0D
And that second cake is most definitely a wreck! Especially if they charged SIX HUNDRED DOLLARS for it!!!
I really want to know: what are the contracts brides/grooms make with bakers? Because I'm assuming these people pay up front, and to pay up front and have something like that delivered seems like some kind of breach of contract. Can you get your money back?
These didn't look so bad until I enlarged the photos to see the details. Looks like a case of overwarm-overhumidified fondant... but I think the decorator's heart was in the right place. The worst part is the maiming of the bride's name... "Gloriosity"???
I have a taller version of the pink cake topper in my garden.
The cats like to play with it.
OMG. That cake decorator? I would kill her with fire. After I got my money back.
Back story: I'm a liberal arts major with no hopes of a high paying career. Whenever I read about someone raking in major dough for something that doesn't seem that hard, I've been known to say, "Boy, I picked the wrong career."
So let me just say, "Boy, I picked the wrong career." Do you know how hard it is to beg and plead for $1000 worth of fellowships? Do you know how long those applications take? Yet this wreckerator got $1000 for maybe a day's worth of sloppy work.
I totally picked the wrong career... *pout*
Is this a joke? I made a wedding cake for a friend and I kid you not, it looked a hundred times better than this crap. Her mom gave me $150 and I was thrilled to get it--paid for my expenses. Those cakes are butt-ugly and not worth $100, much less $1,000. Damn!
I'm with you Anne, I'm definitely in the wrong job...I charge less than that for a painting that's taken me weeks.
Hee hee--Hey, John...How does one go about blindfolding a hand?
But I know what you mean! Really!
And it's NOT "National Sunshine Happy Joy day" either! Far from it!
Grrrrr! Roar. (There. I feel better.)
=^~.-^=
well, y'know, there's no accounting for taste. sigh.
Hey John (the hubby of Jen), did that kid really have his left hand blindfolded? No wonder he had problems!
I thought the barbells on the groom's cake were ice cream cones at first, though why they'd have 100 written on ice cream baffled me. And I think the animal on the badge is a woodchuck, because a beaver would have a bigger tail, right?
wow...I'm guessing, hoping, that the heat had something to do with the bloated brides cake, but being from Texas myself, fort worth in fact, like our unfortunate groom! I'm thinking that surely Texas wreckerators could learn to account for the heat. no?
Sendingtheclowns,
Sure, maybe I'm not "smart" and I don't use "correct grammar" or know how to "type" without looking at the "key" "board" but that don't mean that I don't not speak good English good.
;P
john
Keeley,
A good rant ignores sentence structure. Oh, and I'm a little French so my subject placement is tainted. I remember, as a child, I shouted to my English professor Mom, "Throw it down the stairs the pillow would you?"
Then she was all, "What?!"
And I was all, "You heard me!"
And then I distinctly remember a boot to the head.
YAH YAH!
john
Well maybe an older, inexperienced friend voluntee... well no... There was payment. Toyota was missing a letter, the frosting looked as if someone applied it with a toilet brush... So, therefore, it has earned the title of "One Hot MESS!" (actually two).
Burning questions: Are the "shots" on the quilted layer made of chocolate chips? (organ chord!)
Are there gummy Skeletons hanging from the Pink topper? (DOUBLE organ Chord!!!) aaaaaaaand...
[x-fade to ECU of pink 'cake'. SHOCK ZOOM on a THREE COUNT]
Will Christy EVER be able to read her own name in icing again without moderate seizures and explosive diarrhea???
(TRIPLE organ chord!!!!!!)
The answers to all these questions and more, when "Cake Wrecks" returns after a word from our sponsors.
just. wow.
WTF? $1000?????
Well, I could tell you what the...um...decorator?....did wrong, but it's truly pointless because at some point they stood back, dusted off their hands and said, "Yep, that'll do pig, that'll do." I have a seriously difficult time believing a)someone actually charged $1000 for those; and b) someone actually paid $1000 for those. It's a tragedy.
@ John,
LOL!!!
Don't feel too bad! Everybody has something they do good--
Like, I wish *I* could do that thing YOU do with quotation marks.
That's really fancy...I'll never be THAT good.
=^~.~^=
If you can charge $400 for that grooms cake then I am going into buisness. My 11 yr old can frost a cake better than that, and we'll be rich LOL
ok id be yelling for a refund and make my own bloody cake or have a 12 year old try at it im sure they could do better
Ha! That "woodchuck" on the badge is supposed to be a panther (I googled it)! And I had no idea those things on the right were barbells. Can anyone tell is a specific song is listed on the iPod? I hope this cake tastes like chocolate heaven because it looks like poop.
Are you kidding me?! Where to start? Did you see the quilting pattern on the wedding cake? And my four-year-old could do better piping. $600? Seriously??
A friend and I just did our first wedding cake last week. We got $130 for it! And it looks much, much better than that!! Check it out:
http://cakesbybrandyandkim.blogspot.com/2010/05/pearls-and-bow.html
Definitely wrecks. But the biggest wrecks in Texas? I doubt it. Surely there's one of those bride-dragging-groom, antler-and-shotgun-shell bedecked, frosted-in-camo cakes down there somewhere.