Wednesday
Nov172010
Turkey Terror
November 17, 2010 GUYS! Do you know what time it is?
"Uh...lemme guess."Is it...
"National Imitation Crab Month?"No.
"Whirlpool Awareness Week?"
No.
"Oh! Is it football season?"
Close, but no. Here, I'll give you my "breast" hint:
Soon, you may be feeling a bit...STUFFED.
[gasp] "No...it isn't! It's..."
"Turkey Cake Time! AAAAAAAA...
AAAAAAAAA...
*gasp, gasp, gasp*
AAAAAAAAAAAA...
...AAAAAEEEIII!!Thanks to Barbra G., Tamara O., Kati K., Carol G., Anna S., Jen, Amanda S., Meghann P., & Kristine C., who think these fowl cakes are really for the birds.
Reader Comments (149)
Whirlpool Awareness Week. Ahahahaha, that's awesomely bad!
Those are scary....
The "football" one isnt actually all that bad, though I dont really get the whole 'football lace' thing...
That last one cannot be labeled anything but a "turdkey". --Lila
I know that I wouldn't be able to do a better job making a turkey out of cake, but still, I don't call myself a professional or work at a bakery!
Oh, dear Lord, I don't even know where to start. Have these wrecorators even SEEN a turkey before? Do they know what one is supposed to look like? My new theory - Mr. Hankey is the new cake decorator and these are all self portraits in his attempt to be more than just a Christmas figure - "This year Thanksgiving, next year - ALL holidays!"
Tracy O
That last one is hilarious. It looks like Scooby Doo stuck in an inferno.
And the one before that, another good old fashioned electrified turkey cake!
Whoops, I meant the electric turkey was the 7th down. The next to last... I'm really not sure what to say there.
Good heavens, what IS that last cake? I'm going to assume it's a dog after an unfortunate incident with lighter fuel...
I hope this is not a warning of turkey meals to come. Last year's turkey got caught in the chemical/brine bath too many cycles, and that was truly a disgusting disaster. But these guys make me really nervous... Norine
As I was scrolling down to the last one, I first thought it looked like Scooby Doo. Then I decided it was actually the offspring of Scooby and Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo.
That last one reminded me of the guy in the late '70's and early '80's who used to show up at football games in the rainbow wig carrying the big "John 3:16" sign.
Either way, frightening.
The flaming turkey poo made me blow coffee out my nose. Ow...
I have to stop reading you at work! ROFLMAO!
To the list of rules for cake decorators (of which "Cannibalism is not cute" is Rule #1), can we add, "Don't try to make cake out of meat, and don't try to make meat out of cake"?
I only have one thing to say:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE!
The poor turkey in the last picture looks rather worried about being engulfed in flames. And the only things anyone thought to give him were pumpkins.
I thought the last one looked like a cross between Scooby Doo and a turkey. Scary!
At least one cake had nice writing on it, and everything was spelled correctly. (You gotta work with what you have!)
Number 6 would be perfect if you asked for a brown turtle swimming through a hoop of fire. A turkey? Not so much.
OK - So that last cake. . . kinda looks like Scooby Do on fire. . . no? Maybe it's just me. . .
#5 looks like Admiral Ackbar.
'Turkey Cake Time'
....no it's not, 'cos there is no way these are turkeys...I've seen turkeys and these are not them......
Football turkey? Looks more like a zipper and reminds me of a Frankenstein Turkey.
"Hey gang! If the turkey's not edible, we can always go outside and play football with our food!"
Sheesh!
I know turkeys are hard to pipe, that's why I avoid them, but these are horrible.
Sharon's Edible Art
The poo, the poo, the poo is on fi-ah!
That last one looks like Scooby Doo with his head on fire.
OMG! I thought the football with drumstix and little pilgrim flotsam was bad. But that last one is a flaming poo... Mr Hanky's on fire!
That last one looks like a flaming pile of poo...
Hooowdy-OOOOOOOOOWWWWW!!!
Just sayin'.
That last one looks like a hedgehog having a bad hair day!
Cake 1. Hot dogs, feathers, what's the difference, really?
Cake 2. Mmmm, bacon wedges! Really says "thanks for the birthday." Actually, does that say "Let's Crive Thanks?"
Cake 7. I'm diggin' the psychadelic afro, man! Right on!
DB
Did you plan on the cakes getting progressively worse as you scrolled down? Of course you did! How silly of me.
I'm amazed that after all of the turkey wrecks you've posted since this blog began that there are still more ways to mangle a cake version of that bird.
Pretty lettering on #2. But I'm puzzled - what is a Tharks, and who are we giving it to?
#4 looks like an alien from Dr. Who that needs to visit a dentist.
The last one, well, it just brings back memories of the first time my sister hosted T-day and we had to replace her oven the next day. Nuff said. :-)
Why? Why? Why? Of all the imagery of Thanksgiving, why try to make cakes look like turkey?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I always thought that cake was dessert. Why would one try to make dessert look like the main course? No one (in their right mind) decorates a turkey to make it look like cake, so why (try to)make a cake look like turkey?
The mind boogles.
Love your blog, Jen and John. Thanks for all the laughs,and the Princess Bride and Python references!
To be fair, those pumpkins on the last one are actually kindof cute.
Gah. That first one I thought someone had clipped bacon triangles for leaves.
Cake #4 = Giant red ant head. Ant? Really?
WV: glocc -- weapon of choice for putting some of these cakes out of their misery
My son came in the room as i was looking at these and said, "Look Mama, they are on fire!". LOL
Cake #5 looks like an obscure Star Wars character
Some of these are just as you hilarious and horrible, the thing that I am always amazed at is the amount of FROSTING some times it's looks like 1/2 of it is cake and the rest is pure sugar!
Um. How can they call that last cake a ?! No, that's not what I see...although, it is still seasonal. Kids still put flaming poo on people's porches at this time of year, right?
That last one looks to me like a kangaroo running away from a brush fire. I have no idea what that has to do with Thanksgiving.
Is that 5th one staring at me? And throwing up? Dang I don't look that bad this morning.....do I?
I know I always like to stuff my turkeys with bananas, bunches of grapes, and a pine cone! (picture #5) That is so wrong I don't even know what else to say. -Emily
Yes, let's all crive tharks!
One day, someone will succeed in making a turkey cake that doesn't look like a flaming poo.
The first one has nice petticoats (good ruffle-tip work there), and the last one is a Scooby "ruh-roh" moment, but by far my favorite is the Flying Four-Fingered Flaming Hand of Death. Definitely want that laying on the table for our holiday.
I stared at that second one for a while, trying to decipher "Let's Crive Tharks".
I also thought the last one looks like Scooby Do, with a rainbow afro wig on. If you tilt your head, and squint at it.
The 5th cake, the one with the "stuffing" and the "fruit" around the opening? It actually looks like it's giving birth to...something.
Wow!! Amazing!! Not one of them looks like ...
AHHHHHHIIIIIEEEEE!!
Sorry, I started typing before I got to the last one.
I must be getting blase' about cakes - most of the time the turkey cakes look like genitalia. This year's crop is looking up.
Inventive on the 'football' turkey, since stuck firmly in front of the tv watching "THE GAME" where most guys are when the bird is done.
Scary, though, scary.
There's a reason I roast the turkey and bake pies for Thanksgiving. After following CW for a while now, turkey cakes are banned from the house.
~~Di
WV - vermenge -- is this what vermin take when they are ticked off at their cake representation?
For the love of all that is right in this world, why?! Why such detail on the "stuffed" turkey? I'm not sure I'll recover from that.
Do I know what time it is? Sure -- it's a week and a day before Thanksgiving. That means it's time for the final Christmas-themed sales before all the 'holiday' stuff goes back in the warehouse (tomorrow) and the Valentine's day stuff comes out. Why don't we just do to the calendar what we do to the clock -- only in reverse -- and be done with it.
#6, 8, 9 look like a wreckerator conflation (conflagration?) of a turkey and a phoenix.
#9 is of course a still from Scooby Doo's ill-advised Pepsi commercial.