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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Nov162010

I'm Hunting Wreck-Its

Tracy in Washington wrote a while back to request Wrecks with, and I quote, "all manner of dead animals, people with shotguns or rifles, or dogs pointing at birds." Because apparently Fall is hunting season. And she seemed rather happy about it.

And, since I don't generally make it a practice to disappoint people with shotguns: Tracy, this one's for you.

- Shotgun shells?
Check.
- Edible photo of a deceased duck?
Check.
- For a groom's cake?
Check, please.

'Course, the dead duck in that picture IS a little subtle. I mean, he might just be sleeping. How are your guests supposed to know that the duck has, without question, joined the choir invisible?

Fortunately, there's always this option:

Now that's a dead duck.

Also, I've seen a lot of these cakes, and I have to ask: why shotgun shells and chocolate-coated strawberries? Why not shotgun shells and pineapple? Shotgun shells and kiwi? Or, heck, shotgun shells and sprinkles? I mean, so long as you have actual shotgun shells for the groomsmen to pluck off the cake and load their guns with, we're all good, right?

Aw, rats. These shells are edible:

If not recognizable.

Getting back to the deceased fowl, though, here we have a lovely SWEET MERCY WHAT IS HE DOING TO THAT TURKEY?!?

Not cool, man. Not cool.

'Course, when it comes to hunting cakes, most folks prefer a little more bang for their buck:



This is like one of those 20 questions games: there's a dead deer in the middle of a forest, with a Diving flag beside him. Now: How did he die?

Wow. I just realized: there's nothing like a dead deer cake to make you appreciate the ones without gunshot wounds:


Plus I kind of like this guy. He's all, "What? You want a piece of me? Huh, punk? YOU WANT A PIECE OF ME?!?"

Or, for a more subtle touch, try just jamming a set of antlers in your cake:

I tried this once with a set of chicken wings. In related news: some people just have no sense of humor.

Well, Tracy, Elmer Fudd, and the rest of you, in conclusion:

May all your Tinsel-Horned Snorkacks* be the stuff of legends.

Thanks, Paula L., Cory & Haley, Ramona S., Hollye S., Carly, Sandy C., Heather F., & Kristen S. I hope these were worth the doe!


*Note from john: If you got this reference, I'm slow clapping in your general direction.

**Note from Jen: If you got the reference *and* understood that we purposely changed "crumple" to "tinsel," then I'm awarding you virtual gold stars.

And there is no hidden meaning to "slow clapping." Honest.

« Turkey Terror | Main | Clean Out Your Fridge Day »

Reader Comments (192)

I think that the fact that the duck is not the most prominent part of that picture adds another element of wreckiness to the cake, as if it needed it. I didn't see the duck until John's commentary alerted me to its existence. I bet some of the wedding guests had to do a double-take to see the duck, too. Between the shotgun shells, dog, and dog droppings...um, I mean chocolate ducks... I was pretty convinced that someone had finally gotten that pesky Duck Hunt dog. But alas.

I think the second-to-last is my favorite, though, from the sheer inexplicableness of the the antlers rising from an otherwise lovely cake. The two seem completely unrelated. I don't really associate lightly cloudy skies and checker-print ribbon with dead deer.

I can has slow clapping?

wv: extendai

You're extendaing WHAT toward that turkey?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAngela

@Bigbadteddy-

Earlene's turkey feathers are actually made from wafer paper, not real feathers, FYI. She does an amazing job with them. She's a very talented lady.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Nope. Sorry. Strawberries dipped in chocolate do not make a convincing imitation of acorns.

But then, zombie fingers don't look like a buck's rack either.

Now all week I'll be humming "It's the second week of deer camp and all the boys are here. We eat and drink and shoot the bull, but never shoot no deer ..."

WV: arces -- guess we better better stop protracting and get off our arces to go see the latest HP

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermsyendor

apparently, dipped strawberries DO go with everything. : )

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ah, Luna. So glad she's in this one!

I am throughly disturbed by the shotgun shells on the cakes…and I have been known to hunt. Hmmm.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentermissoularedhead

Aside from laughing (and snorting), loudly, in public...I felt it was necessary to clarify that the first cake appears to be frosted with authentic hunt-field MUD.
Also, I loved the whimsical, and yet oddly formal deer top-hat. Why pastel colors and ribbons? It's an oddly feminine contrast with the antlers and wooden base.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFPGSPC Secretary

You know, that deer and diving flag cake is actually pretty well made. Perhaps it is a metaphor for the fate of James Potter? Not exactly sure how the flag would fit into the comparison....

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterThe Mocha Monster

You know what, I don't think there's anyone here who didn't get that reference. I know I did....:D

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterFire Witch

Yep, tis the season to bust out the Rudolph cake pans and the red gel. Wilton is missing a huge maerketing opportunity.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterRaquel

John...seriously how could we not get the reference with the movie being so close??? I would like my gold stars as well since I automatically changed 'tinsel' back into 'crumple'

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelsey

I cannot begin to count the number of times the words "Oh my dear God" run through my head each day when I look at the cakes. Today those words actually were spoken out loud. Many times! Oh my dear God, what were those people thinking?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelli

I like how the first 3 were made classier with the chocolate covered strawberries.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTwilightTwins2

cake #2: are the dead duck and the dog's head edible? are they made of cake?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Siriusly, you guys are the best!

Today of all days I needed some virtual gold stars, so thanks!

You can't really go wrong with anything HP related right now, though, can you?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJenericFN

Can I admit that I actually think the 2nd cake is pretty impressive? While creepy, the lab and duck are quite well done! Although I am not a big fan of the strawberries and shot gun shells....I would take the top part (if I was a hunter).

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJulia

I, like you, have no idea why chocolate dipped strawberries always seem to follow a camo- covered hunting groom's cake. It's certainly not something my husband packs on his lunches when he goes hunting. Sandwiches, sunflower seeds, and jerky make more sense than that.

I'm guessing that the bride has "allowed" him to have a hunting cake just as long as it can be "classed up a bit" by adding chocolate strawberries. ????

I didn't care for the chocolate ducks or the background either. From a distance, well, you know what it looks like....

I'd like to close on this note ♪...and I'm gonna get me a Thirty Point Buck!♫

Sharon's Edible Art

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSharon

Change the edible photo in the top one to a yellow lab, and I'm pretty sure that was my cousin's wedding cake!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAmy D

YAY! VIRTUAL GOLD STARS!!!!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Me, I'm kinda partial to all the little poo-ducks scattered amongst the shotgun shells on that first cake... O_o

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBADKarma!

"You can't really go wrong with anything HP related right now, though, can you?"

Lol, now that was a challenge if I ever heard one.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, the fact that there's a jelly shotgun wound on the deer with the diving flag (???!) doesn't bother me as much as the jelly around its mouth....

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Haha, purchased my tickets for the midnight showing on Thursday night TWO WEEKS ago! Yes, I got the reference!! Slow or fast clap away!!

The deer with the gunshot wound kind of makes me want to cry.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica White

Also, this is not the first time you've featured a cake with Chocolate covered strawberries and shotgun shells. Why? Whhyyyyy? Please someone, explain this phenomenon?!
http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/2009/08/buyers-remorse.html

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJessica White

I got the reference and felt all giddy about it. hahaha

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterJanett

Long ago and far away Groom's cakes used to be a fruit cake. (And if you were a single girl, you were supposed to take a piece home in a little box and slide it under your pillow so you would dream about who your husband would be.
But in my small Midwest town fifty years ago I only knew that because I read old etiquette books--we just had "The" wedding cake with nuts and mints on the table (or if you were of Scandanavian descent you got real food).
Now, obviously, Groom's cake is whatever monstrosity you can think of. And there's probably a doctorial thesis there for someone on the symbolism of Strawberries and Shotgun shells.

WV unglowl.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

@Sharon, do the edible shotgun shells have sprinkles in them?

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMMM

Yey virtual gold stars. I don't think I've ever been so excited for it.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMel

how could anyone *not* get that reference??
*especially* with what we're all going to be doing this thursday at midnight!?
..or is that just me....
oh, and tinsel-horned FTW

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterLily Marie :)

Well, I've earned an outstanding when it comes to references! GOLD STARS NOW! :D

EXPECTO PATRONERD!

What tickled me the most was I was thinking "why chocolate covered strawberries and shotgun shells?" then I kept reading and saw I wasn't alone. :)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth Douglas

I think that was a very accurately made snorkark-cake.kinda cute.tinsel and all.

+ i red "snow clapping" :D.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Eeek! Photo #6 bears a very disturbing resemblance to the face-hugger in ALIEN! This is one of the creepiest cakes I have ever seen on this blog.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBoy George

I got it! I'm so proud of myself!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHaunted Mansion Geek

I earned a virtual gold star... :-)

But, seriously... did you REALLY have to explain at the bottom with an edit to the blog re: switching words?

Never mind. Duh, obviously for the newbies to the blog.

Jen, I love you and John, your humour and off the cuff irreverence!

~~Di

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Well I guess I know where John & Jen will be Friday! Yay, I get a slow clap and virtual stars!!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterTami A.

Who doesn't get that reference? Shame on anyone who doesn't know what the Crumple-Horned Snorkack is! They exist, dammit!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterHannah

Hi Jen and fellow wreck lovers, saw this and thought of you. Don't know if you are familiar with this link but it has potential for Gold star wreckage, often well executed. Keep scrolling at least until you hit the the brain cake and you'll see what I mean :)
Also... dead animals really not doing it for me blech. Must be for MEN. You know big, burly, gottoprovethemselvesmencoztheycompensatingforsomething men lol
http://notsohumblepie.blogspot.com/search/label/Science

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterBrooke

Im confused... Isn't the pic on top of that first cake a dog? Then there's little chocolate duckies sitting around(:

Sorry, I hope you don't have another 'epcot' type breakdown if other people posted this.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMollie

The hunter with the turkey totally had me lizzing a little!
(And yes, there is one person in this world who did NOT get the HP reference (I only know it's Harry Potter because of the comments) and I'm just fine with that.)

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElisabeth

Thanks for the slow clap and gold stars! =D

I hope those horns jammed in the last cake aren't Erumpent horns! =O

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentergeeky Heather

I remember some mystery quiz about a dead diver in the woods. So I think the answer to the deer and diving flag is that there was a forest fire, and the deer had been diving in the lake. The plane scooped up the deer and the flag along with a load of water, and dumped them on the forest fire. The deer landed on a tree, which explains the wound in its side.

And I think those are acorns. Lousy ones, but acorns just the same.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Eeep! Did it again! I must remember to NOT read this blog when at work. I just started giggling hysterically at the 'bang for your buck' comment and had 3 sets of eyes turn and look at me like I'd walked in naked.

Oh Jen, thanks for being AWESOME! And might I say legen - waaaait for it - dary!

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterMissRon

It's Wabbit season.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterKelsey

Yay, Harry Potter reference! :D You made my day.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterkeep-imagining

I am furiously rereading all the HP books before Friday, otherwise I may have missed the reference.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterSheriboberi

Okay, so the deer was practicing his semaphore before leaving the forest to join the Merchant Marines. Unfortunately he forgot that hunting season had started. Sadly the bright red flag made him an easy target.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Wow, somebody didn't look close enough at the first cake's picture. Yes, there's a dog, but there's also the dead duck at it's feet. Seriously people, don't mess with the Jen. She actually does look at the cakes for more than 2 seconds.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In case anyone else reads down this far, I'd like to point out that there is a duck in the picture on top of the first cake. I saw it without clicking on the picture.

The little ducks do indeed look like something the dog contributed, and the frosting does look like dog food. Might this have been the 'groom's cake' at a pet wedding? Of course, that wouldn't explain the shells -- or maybe it would. "Easy, boy -- what the vet did wasn't my idea. Just put the rifle down, that's a good dog..."

I wonder how many people tried to eat the shells. Shells, by the way, contain sprinkles. The first sprinkles with the great taste of gunpowder!

#2 By the time you get rid of everything that isn't edible, what's left -- frosting and chocolate-covered strawberries? Tastes great, less filling.

#3 They should have used macaroni. Wait for it...

#4 With all the green, it looks like the guy is wearing scrubs. Does that reduce the wrongness or take it to a whole new level? "Turn your head and cough, Tom."

#5 The deer looks like it has also been strangled (check the neck), which puts this one over the top in the weirdness sweepstakes. The diving flag makes me think of that (I hope) urban legend about the body in diving gear that was found in the aftermath of a forest fire.

#6 "You want a piece of me?" Yes -- one without so much plant life on it.

#7 Meh.

#8 'Hoppy Hunting'? It's hard not to see 'Hoppy Hounting', which makes even less sense. What is the thing on the plaque supposed to be? I was thinking something from Who-ville.

Thanks for the 'Pet Shop Sketch' reference, @M.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterCraig

WOOHOO! HP 7.1 On Friday!

Although, aren't Crumple-Horned Snorkacks purple and hairy? And they have a singular horn like a unicorn. Duh.

{/nerd rant}

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered CommenterElizabethB

Everybody else saw shotgun shells & strawberries on those cakes; I saw shotgun shells & deer droppings... More in keeping with the hunting theme, I thought.

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commenterilze

Who wouldn't get the reference? Also do I get super special virtual platnium stars for getting the extra reference of the "in your general direction" comment? *angelic smile*

WV- unnand

"I would like a chocolate cake please."

"Unnand...?"

"Oh with raspberry filling."

"Unnand...?"

"Um, sprinkles?"

"Unnand...?"

"I just want a cake lady!" *runs away, looking back frightened*

"Unnand...?"

November 16, 2010 | Unregistered Commentererosennin_83

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