Old Time Wreck 'n Roll
August 6, 2009 For decades now mankind has been left to wonder: Just where did the first Cake Wreck come from? We may never have the definitive answer (outside of "42", of course) but an historic find has recently been unearthed in the area of Gilbert, Arizona, that may shed some light on this weighty issue.
I give you, Magic in Frosting!
Breathtaking, isn't it? This artifact, discovered by Luz G. of Beautiful Impermanence, is believed to date back to the "free love" era of the 1960s, when the word "magic" was interchangeable with the names of many and varied forms of hallucinogenic drugs. Coincidence?
I think not.Regardless, this priceless find demonstrates some truly remarkable feats that our ancestors were able to achieve using nothing more than buttercream, a few simple tools, and the belief that any woman who plays tennis is a low-browed neanderthal with a thyroid problem.
Further evidence of the decade's inebriation includes this lovely (not to mention leggy) specimen:
The "Merry-Go-Round of Bisected Ballerinas" was a popular party motif during the summer of '67.
(Note the smoking gun and perfectly-piped pool of blood. Such accuracy! Such talent!)So, where do modern-day Wrecks come from? Well, in light of these examples I believe there can be only one conclusion: they're made by the people who got these cakes as children.
- Related Wreckage: LIFE Wrecks
Reader Comments (204)
I went on a "Merry-Go-Round of Bisected Ballerinas" once. Truly horrifying experience. I wouldn't recommend it.
myolderbrothers.blogspot.com
I love the pink elephants cake! Totally reminds me of the pink elephant scene from Dumbo!
mysleepinghusband.blogspot.com
I want that book now! It'd go great with my American Woman cookbook from 1944. Splendid recipes for calf brains and tongue sandwiches!
I seriously remember seeing drunky pink elephant cakes in the sample case at our local town bakery when I was a kid. Guess they bought the book!
I really need to remember to not be drinking my coffee when reading your blog. Off to find some paper towels...
Love the Hitchhiker's reference! That ballerina cake is most disturbing! How was that ever a good idea???
42!! :-)
I love these historic wrecks. Soooo tacky.
WOW -- those elephants, makes my teeth hurt to think of biting into one of those (assuming they are solid frosting)
It also looks like that last pirate cake was decorated with a beige telephone cord around the edge....
so people have paid for that book?
*shudder*
I personally think that last cake is hystercial.
Groom's cake?
I love this. Absolutely hilarious... and so shiny. So very shiny...
I absolutely love old recpie cards and books like this, they crack me up. I think I might use some Play Doh and try the instructions for the tennis player.
Pink elephants, you say? Ah yes, I see it now and I rather wish I hadn't.
By the way have you seen this wreck that was Obama's b-day cake?
http://www.nbcwashington.com/around-town/food-drink/Stylish-Prez-Hideous-Birthday-Cake-52458537.html
I had to look at the Pink Elephants on Parage cake FAAARR too long to figure out what it was.
I think you may be on to something here, Jen... kind of sad, though, to think that 40 years later things haven't gotten any better.
But then again, if things had improved we'd have one less source of entertainment. ;)
Amazing book-wreck! This should also go on http://awfullibrarybooks.wordpress.com/
O. M. G.
We all need all frosting all the time! I was doing pretty well until I got to Betty's Bisected Ballerinas. That made my palms start tingling and the fingers twitching toward the icing bag. (Well, I'm lying a little here for the sake of literature.) Actually, it made me avert my eyes and weep. I did many things during the 60's but I can truthfully say Assault by Frosting was not one of them.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! John McNamara and Roland Winbecklar were pioneers in the field. Back away slowly Jen!
I love the pirate cake - complete with all the cliches - eye patch, peg leg, treasure chest, skeleton. Wow! What an eye for detail.
I love those cakes, the poodle cake reminds me of those knitted poodle decorations my mom used to have. Smashed pink elephants, i want one! All that and a Douglas Adams reference too!
Jen, so nice to wake up early to such a wrecky wreckrospective. You made my day - thanks!
That poor pink elephant cake. Most of the elephants look like pigs. I don't drink, but even I know that that cake is a waste of a good bottle of champagne.
Kudos for the Hitchhiker's reference. ;-) I must forward this to my family who lives in Gilbert, AZ!
I'm going to have to find this one and add it to my collection of wacky cookbooks.
Overlooking the homicide, the water on the pirate cake is quite fabulous.
Memories from the past - Now that you've posted that picture, I remember seeing that book years ago.
I for one, would love a dead pirate cake. Or a live Johnny Depp to come popping out of one, not fussy.
it looks more early sixties/fifties to me.Note the frillyness and poodle, definatly pre-mini skirt.
AWESOME. it's like cakewreck archaeology!
I think that the blood is my favorite element, because you can see that he very carefully used a slightly different color than the other "red" that was used for the pirate's pants. And the treasure chest. And her belt. I mean, when one color has such versatility, it takes true dedication to use a different one just to get the blood "right."
The elephant cake is, I fear, easier to understand once you realize that he started out with 6 bottles.
Say what you will about these 1960's wrecks, but no effort was spared to make them look good. Call them odd, call them scary. But don 't call them lazy!!! That's the problem with decorators these days...no appreciation for time-consuming hard work. Just get it done quick, doesn't matter if it's right or even pretty. Those older cakes showed that if you just take it step by step, you too can learn to be a scary cake decorator!!!
So sad that it wasn't a leggy blonde...
I like the chest hair on the pirate. Tasty!
Yikes!
I have to say that I think the squashed elephants are pretty danged cute, tho.
But the rope piping on that cake is AMAZING!
Melody
And to think they did it the "ole" fashion way... no rice crispys, no fondant, no specialized add ons!!!
Loved the ballerina and pirate, would love to see a cake with the two of them...
Um, those are so wrong. On so many levels. Were people blind back in the day as well? *Shivers*
Scary.....
awesome post, jen! hilarious! that bisected ballerina cake cost someone a lot of money for future therapy sessions.
I think the object of the bisected ballerina-go-round is that, viewed from the side at the right height, the legs line up with the body that's in the center of the cake. I'm just relieved to know that my Friendly Neighborhood Public Library has had the sense to weed the offending instruction manual (if it ever had the poor taste to buy it in the first place).
Laugh!
I would have thought the pink elephants cake was inspired by Disney's "Dumbo" - there is a scene where Dumbo drinks a bottle just like the one on the cake, and sees visions of pink elephants everywhere...
I think little Miss Kournikova has a tad more to be concerned about then just her thyroid. Like, perhaps, her disjointed arm. Her misconstreued sexy-pouty face. Her disproportioned thigh-leg ratio and the general sheen of her complection.
Good thing her cheekbones make up for all her faults. Girl needs some blush!
I so want the pirate cake for my birthday!
I'm loving the vintage wrecks. Kind of reminds me of the hideous weight watchers recipe pictures from the 60's that I've seen floating around the internet.
Ha, I actually find the elephant cake cute, if confusing. It reminds me of Dumbo.
However, the rest is a stunning display of wreckage throughout the ages.
WV: frahypht
If you ask me, the pirate cake ought to be left on a deserted isle without a lifrahypht.
WOW.
That last cake would almost be kind of nice, without the murderer and dead victim on it!
Wow, those look like the examples in my old Wilton cake decorating practice book, you know, with the interchangeable pages and the milky clear cover flap that you actually were supposed to pipe your frosting on. My aunt gave it to me to use, she went to culinary school in the late 60's and specialized in pastry. I wish I still had it, I would scan and send them to you...lol@
This is a scary archaeological find!
Pink elephant cake=60's hipster hotness. I seriously love that one. The others, not so much.