Multiple Choices for Mom
May 8, 2009 Ok, guys, decision time. How are you going to make Mom feel special on Sunday?
With a simple misspelling?
A grandiose promotion?
Or do you want to give her a little pep talk?
Granted, I'm not sure what Mom will be fighting per se... perhaps her disbelief over receiving such a Wreck?Maybe your Mom is a fan of reeeeally long sweat socks. Or albino snakes. Or long, free-floating bear arms. Or whatever the heck these are:
Isn't it nice how bakeries are abandoning even a semblance of reason with CCCs these days? They're all, meh, screw it: it's a coupla scarves. Blowing in the wind. Around some roses. Yeah. Totally.Or maybe your mother's always wanted one of those cool purse cakes:
And, you know, you hate her.
(Whoah, is that the super deluxe pipe-cleaner handle I see? Score!!)
If you really can't decide, though, "patently bizarre" is always a sure-fire crowd pleaser:
Although this would probably get you one of those patronizing cheek pats and a "Aw, you always did have such imagination, dear."
Or maybe you want to get something for both your grandmother and your spouse's grandmother, like Michelle P.'s friend Jim did. He asked for it to say "Love to two grandmothers."
Instead, they got something both "hilarious and mortifying":
Well, I'm sure it was memorable.
Robyn O., Chris K., Tracy C., Katrina M., Lisa F., & Iny, you have some tough choices ahead of you. Now go out there and make me proud! (Oh, and be sure to send pics.)
Reader Comments (109)
Where's the nose? Don't we need a nose on that muppet cake?
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Quick, call A. Jolie!
Her brazenly stolen lips
are on a Muppet!
If you're going to put carrots on the cake then you should go ahead and shoot the works. What are carrots without mohawk baby jockeys? Sheesh!
Despite the airbrushing, I think the Mother of the Universe cake looks pretty awesome. Rainbows!
My 3-year-old son was looking at this post with me and asked why there was a birdie cake--yes, the yellow haired monstrosity looks like a bird to a 3-year-old....I have to agree with him!
Ashley
Silly wreckerator! Why make carrots out of icing on the two old mothers cake when you can naked carrot jockeys?!?!
Butterfly wishes
his beloved bug mama
"anther" holiday.
wv: dersa
I dersa I'll be chuckling at these all morning.
Happy Malker Sotherhood!
(The Mother's Day version of Falker Satherhood, of course.)
"Robyn O., Chris K., Tracy C., Katrina M., Lisa F., & Iny, you have some touch choices ahead of you."
Apparently even the best make spelling mistakes. But we still love you!
The bizarre face cake and the cupcake sweatsocks are AMAZINGLY bad! Who would put that out there? More importantly, WHO WOULD BUY THOSE?!
Love them all; love the blog!
Wait, a commercial bakery put a PIPE CLEANER into FOOD!?! Don't they know you can't do that?! The purse, however, looks rather Van Gogh to me. It has a nice impressionist feel to it.
Poor Grandmothers, but, um, what exactly are those things on the cake?
OMG!!!!!! All I can say is these are horribly hilarious!!!!
Okay you finally made me laugh out loud. The "two old mothers" did it. I'm sure that party was filled with laughter after bringing out the cake.
WV- Ratoni - Mafioso's nickname for Tony after he ratted on Frankie.
I suspect the "Go! Fight! Win" cookie cake is some small homage to a scene in "The Incredibles", where Edna Mode is standing on the table and tells Helen (aka Elastigirl), "Well, you know where he is. Go! Fight! Win! [with her arms up in a feisty way] And call me when you get back, darling, I enjoy our visits."
At least that's what popped into my head when I saw that cake. Possibly because I have three small boys and we watch "The Incredibles" waaaayyyy too much.
Oh man, the sprinkle-crazed handbag with the pipe cleaner handle has me cringing. I can just IMAGINE how eating that thing must be.
*CRUNCH*
*CRUNCH*
*CRUNCH*
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew...
"Touch choices"?!
Oh, Jen!!
Hahaha! Oops!
Alex
Haiku and Krystine,
Yeah yeah...good catches.
In Jen's defense, she wrote this at 4 am today after a full day of wedding cake construction.
And I proof read it...
bwoops
john
why does the mom on the cookie have lolly pops for hands?
Don't mind my tears, I just can't stop laughing...
I just quit my Cake Decorating instructing job. I am a decorator with over 30 years experience.
I was stunned to find out that they are replacing me with a girl that has no baking or cake decorating experience and has only recently taken a beginners course herself. So..... the future of cake decorators is sufficiently secure ( ....heavy sigh!...)
Wreakerators fasten your seatbelts because HERE THEY COME!!!!
Mom ate the purse cake.
Died of sprinkle poisoning.
You fail pastry school.
The yellow-haired monstrosity instantly made me think of the girl sloth in Ice Age...
Far be it from me to correct Jen! Not only is it unnecessary (so many others will volunteer, doncha know) but as much delight and humor as she gives my life, it would also be ungracious. Additionally, the (usually) self-imposed restriction of writing my comments in haiku here have created quite a bit of mirth in my family. The phrase, "But hey, nice balloons" is well on its way to becoming a catchphrase. I couldn't ask for a better venue in which to romp creative, albeit in a minute way.
Jen, as evident by your talent on sweet baby James' cake and on the Spaceship Earth, I have no doubt that the wedding cake you've been laboring over will be the bride's dream.
Thank you for this blog. Thank you one million times.
I was about to buy the freaky-looking-mom's-cake just for the sake of it! I was about to start laughing out loud when I was taking the picture but the attendant was looking at me...
I just found the perfect cake for my mother AND mother-in-law!!!
WV:PUPSANT...
Mom:Would you like any cake dear?
Me:Oh, just a wee pupsant of a piece sil vous plait.
Mom:I knew I shouldn't have paid for those French lessons.
The first one was looking so good and perfect until that dreaded misspelling.
~Amy B
I'm glad you gave me a hint as to what the first cake said. Even with that hint "another" took me almost a minute to figure out.
The "two old mother's" definitely made my day! A misunderstanding and a misplaced apostrophe - can it get any wreckier than that? Oh yeah, with crooked, ill-space lettering and indecipherable images (are those reverse Christmas trees?).
I like the gnomes on the "two old mother's" cakes... that's what they are, yeah?
I collect odd purses and I totally want a purse version of the purse cake. I'd love toting that around. It would be up there with my Monopoly board purse and my red glitter house-shaped purse.
Possibly the worst Cupcake Cake ever...and that's really saying something.
WV: ludlybox
For Mother's Day, I'm getting mum a ludlybox of chocolates.
Well, clearly I'm not the first and only one to see this, but after seeing what my husband and I are now calling "The Muppet Cake," he bursts into singing "Mana-mana (na na, na na na)."
Of course, then he realized perhaps it looked more like Domo-kun in drag.... hrmmmmm. You decide.
you know that "old mother's cake" seems to be a cry for an entry to cake Wrecks? do you think that maybe just maybe bakers are now striving to be submitted? you know that any publicity is good publicity?
I think the Mother of the Universe cake just gave me a seizure.
And does anyone else think the F in the Go! Fight! Win! cookie looks a little too close to an L? Honestly, at first look I thought it said Go! Light! Win! and I couldn't decide if mom needed to turn on a lamp or have a cigarette. I'm betting the latter.
I just want to say right now my mom will not be getting anything with pipe cleaners on it for Mother's Day. WE LOVE YOU MAMA!
Oh my god! If you want sprinkles, we've got sprinkles! That purse cake reminds me of the tv commercial where the couple dumps a whole container of sprinkles on the ice cream counter. (can't remember what it's a commercial for, just remember the sprinkles).
WV: cless--short for clueless
"Love to two old mattress"? WTF!!!
Is it "Go! Fight" or "Go! Light!"? I thought it was intended for a dieting mom, in which case I guess a giant cookie isn't really in keeping with the "light" theme.
I'll bet that scarf/snake/tube sock monstrosity came from my neck of the woods--it's practically a legal requirement here in Gainesville that cakes be decorated in the University of Florida's unfortunate choice of school colors, garish bright orange and fluorescent sky blue. (Visit any supermarket bakery here during football season and your eyeballs will explode.)
There really can't be any other logical explanation for that choice of colors!
You got me with the old mother's cake. Explosive laughter that made my mom say "you're looking at cake wrecks, aren't you?"
wv: greste
The wreckorator greste and floured the cake pan so she would have an unblemished surface to wreckorate.
Aww it wasn't Haiku who pointed out the error, but anon who wrote in a similar three-line fashion and signed the post Alex :).
I love the haikus and look for them after I read through the blog entry each day :D. Hilarious post today, especially the commentary on the CCC!
I third that the "F" in Fight looked more like an "L". I was thinking that was a bit insulting -Hey! Happy Mother's Day now go lose some weight...which means no cookie for you! Muwahahahah. That's just mean.
OMG!!! SPRINKLES! YEAHHH.. ok now, I've regained my composure.
Wishing all you old mothers a happy Malker Sotherhood!
MWAH HA HA HA HA...(peeing in pants slightly)
ah-hahaha!
That crazy hairy muppet cake has upside down lips! I almost shot diet coke out my nose when I saw that cake.
Nicely done. I sure a mother would love this. But there is nothing more rewarding to be giving to your mother on this day is the love and giving back the thanks to what she had done to us since birth. Happy Mothers day to all moms out there. Specially my mother.:)
That cupcake cake looks like some weird praying mantis sort of concoction. The flowers look like giant bug eyes to me. Yuck.
I think most moms would be reminded of your childhood when you made crooked and mispelled cards out of construction paper and macaroni if you bought one of these for her. Maybe that was the feel wreckerators were going for.
WV: ractin--Personally, I would be ractin with retching if presented with one of these.
Something about the yellow haired creation with the big lips reminds me of the "Face of Bo" from Doctor Who. Even the box is like his tank!
Or is it just me?
Are those red christmas trees on that last cake? Mistletoe?
that made my day! had to post my excitement!
http://lisafarry.wordpress.com/2009/05/08/im-so-excited/
sadly, those 2 cakes are still there!
i was excited to see that crazy crunchy purse cake featured amongst such wreckiness today! had to blog about it:
http://lisafarry.wordpress.com/2009/05/08/im-so-excited/
and i enjoy the haiku commentary!