Purging the Evil Within
May 28, 2009 There was a time when I was accused of excessive harping on the evil that is the Cupcake Cake (CCC, for short). So, I piped down (pun intended). However, since more of you newbie Wrecktators are asking me what a CCC is, I believe the time has come for a refresher course. I can't have you lackeys out there fighting Wreckage you don't fully understand, now, can I?
Now gather 'round, and prepare to have your innocence shattered.
Behold!
Just look at this hulking terror, poised to pounce on common decency and smother it with its blue-smeared putrescence. Back away slowly, now, and no one will get hurt.
Remember ol' Stay-Puft? Well, he's got nothing on Blueberry Sherry here:
She looks ready to stomp her way downtown and gobble up some taxi cabs, doesn't she? I particularly like the concave face, though: it lends a little "Le Neanderthal Chic".
Since most large chain bakeries require their bakers to make CCCs, decorators have learned to cope with these horrors in a variety of ways.
Some have a blinding sense of ambition...
"I will make a football out of cupcakes. I WILL!!!"Others try to hide their shameful creations any way they can:
"Cupcake Cake? Where? I don't know what you mean; this here is just a simple layer cake. With candles. Yep, no cupcakes here! La Tee Da..."
A few remain in classic stages of denial:
"It is a sheet cake. It IS! Now hand me that bucket of 'Happy Birthday' picks; I think I missed a spot."
And finally, some decorators have clearly been pushed beyond the bounds of sanity, but at least they're having a ripping-good time:
[maniacal giggling]
Reader Comments (128)
I must admit that I quite like the watermelon one (if that's what it is...)
CCC - PATOOEY!
Is it bad that as soon as I read "putrescence" I started envisioning the Princess Bride....
What is that CCC at the bottom? Is that supposed to be a slice of watermelon?
If you had to make a choice, the birthday cake with candles wouldn't be so bad for a children's party. Maybe oh never mind.
Damn looks like I got scooped all the way back in April. I sent in the same blueberry CCC just about as soon as it made the bakery.
http://intbride.blogspot.com/2009/04/picture-day-day-145.html
Kinda scary to think there's someone else out there hanging out at the same grocery store.
I really did have a good snorgle at the last one! The kind of laugh that provoked the high pitched squeaks and snorts. It was so, so good.
My word these people have out done themselves this time. The white...areas...behind the lovely lillies are quite ingenious. I took a while to realise that it was, in fact, a CCC and when I saw the tactics used to make those stems look slender and elegant, I nearly doubled over laughing.
May be Blueberry Sherry is supposed to be Violet Beauregarde (Charlie and the Chocolate Factory) in a reallly bad mood.
WV: Prophy -- I prophy that one day we shall exorcise the demons of stupity!
Oh my. What IS that last one? Is it supposed to be a slice of watermelon? With a fork stuck in it?!
Is that a tooth pick on the mauled and mutated watermellon?
What is that bottom green and red CCC supposed to be??
What the heck is the last one??!! An attempt of a slice of watermelon? ahahah!
i FREAKIN' LOVE your blog, i read it every day!!!
Ciao from Italy!
Barbara
The plastic utensil in the watermelon brings a whole new level of improperly used flotsam to the game.
Oh. MY. GOSH!
That diseased caterpillar larvae on the end made me a little sick to my stomach...
(first post, but I adore this site! Thanks Jen!)
Melon ameobas!
Cytoplasmic cupcakes
Are a new species!
Blueberry Sherry
Splayed with pomp and circumstance.
Poor cupcake ankles!
So many questions.
Irises? Monster's vomit?
Unveiled WMDs?
Ptooi! Vile, creepy wanna-bes! I'm not quite sure what that last one is supposed to be - half-eaten watermelon slice? - but I don't think the decorator knew either, so at least we're even!
Do I want to know what that last one is? Cuz I've tipped my laptop every which way and can't figure it out.
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
is that last one supposed to be a watermelon?? I actually sorta like the yellow "layer" cake with candles.(god help me...)
I will never understand the appeal of CCC's or why people claim them to be less mess.
Nothing says "Congratulations Graduate!" like a lumpy, sunburned, sausage-fingered angry giant with awesome bowling shoes!
wow. Thanks to these CCCs I suddenly have an aversion to watermelon. And flowers. And everything beautiful in nature.
It is incredibly sad that I like the watermelon one.
sob.
I despise these things!! Stupidest waste of icing resources!
That half eaten watermelon made me laugh out loud, after I realized it wasn't a fetus taking a nap in a green hammock. Stabbed with a plastic fork.
Wow.
Even if that was recognizable, who wants a representation of other food types, that have already been EATEN. Its one step from poo cake. And disgusting.
Alex
The CCC works twofold on me: I am both confused and disgusted. (Furrowing my brow and cocking my head) I just don't understand. Especially the last one. Is it a cactus flower? Is it a Christmas CCC? Is it an abstract?
The only good thing about CCCs is that they make great material for Cake Wrecks! Wreck on!
I am a cake decorator and I REFUSE to make these CCC's no matter what my manager says. Our sister store makes them so I send the customers to them if I cant talk them out of it.
Love the commentary as usual!!
is it just me or does that football look like labia?
Ouch. I'm hurting for the graduate who received that CCC. "Really. You think I look like that..."
Yikes.
Can't.
Stop.
Laughing...
and uh... what's with the sad little green cupcake next to the football??? WITH A PLASTIC PICK!!!
WF- comallyc. This is the most comallyc blog I know.
Why would you get that last CCC when you could so easily get a perfectly good watermelon that did not look mangled plus a perfectly good proper cake that did not look mangled? Why, oh why?
Oh dear, I've lost it and need to take my zatencen (today's word verification that inspired thoughts of copyrighting and selling it to a drug company).
I must confess that I don't mind the one with the candles and, if the icing wasn't scraped off of one of the irises, I would like that one too.
there, I said it.
What in thee heck is that last one supposed to be???
I don't think that is a watermelon. I really think it is an alien fetus...but I could be mistaken.
The watermelon one wouldn't have been half as bad except for the one missing (or was that supposed to represent a bite out of the watermelon?).
And the birthday cake with candles was probably the best attempt at CCC that I've seen - it would be cute for a kids's party, as someone mentioned.
I once made the Very Hungry Caterpillar out of cupcakes, but they were individually frosted - it wasn't a CCC.
Long time reader, very infrequent poster :)
I was at a 9-year-old's birthday party this weekend, and they got a CCC. I kept giggling to myself at the Wreckage...it kept me entertained all day long. Today's post could not have come at a better time. I'm a relatively new reader, but am totally addicted.
At first I thought the last one was suppose to be a man lounging in a hammock - do you see it? Then I realized it had to be a piece of watermelon because the "artist" had not put a face on the lounging man. ;)
Is that last pic a watermelon???? What a terrible attempt at a CCC! What was that decorator thinking? A four year old could piece together a better shaped watermelon slice!
I can picture some innocent child looking at the first one and screaming in terror.
That last one looks like a mutant amoeba.
CCCs for some reason are popular at the store where I work. They even have a special section in the cake case. I have had a couple decent ones (I've already submitted pictures, but they haven't been used yet), but I have seen some pretty horrid ones too, especially when the "home team" is in the finals (Go Blackhawks! Hockey stick/puck CCC anybody? lol)
I wonder what a square cupcake pan would do to solve this problem?
Hah, Passion Fruit beat me to it; the first thing I thought about the grad, uh, "cake" was "Violet, you're turning Violet!"
I like the watermelon one. Of course, I have a watermelon pedicure right now, so I'm biased.
The first one, though--are those supposed to be golf bags?
"maniacal giggling" had me laughing so hard!!! and the FORK! holy cow, brought tears to my eyes from laughter! love it, love it, love it :)
I think the coloring on the rotten watermelon slice is off. That is supposed to be rotten, right?
my 4 year old said blueberry sherry was very scary. I think she may be scared for life.
that last one is definitely a fetus, except that it's porous like a sponge. hmmm
That watermelon has a vaguely fetal look to it. Enough to be truly, deeply disturbing. And yet I keep going back to look at it.
Ok even the ccc´s looks better then the swedish cakes! :/ Its my birthday and all, and all I get is a stinky Swedish one. I want an American cake now! (One of the Sunday sweets, Stargate edition.)
My 4 year old's comment on the first picture "The snowmen are melting mommy, can they be fixed?!"
Sorry, honey, nothing can fix a cupcake cake.
~Amy
Quoth the watermelon, "Stick a fork in me I'm done! Well except for the odd shape, and the umm big hole that looks nothing like someone took a bite out of me."
That is unless the wreckator was going for something a little bit Salvador Dali on a bad day.
Too all you newbies out there - This site is addictive. When I found it I went through every single post in a matter of two days, I just couldn't believe the wrecks. Consider yourself warned.
WV: funkiti - I'll admit I'm at a loss, but I like saying it, funkiti!
The evil graduate is just plain scary.
~Amy B