Professionally Administrated Wrecks
April 25, 2009 I usually try to feature holiday Wrecks on the holiday in question, but when I was out of town recently I missed a couple. So, for all you administrative professionals out there who had to order your own cakes last Wednesday, this post is for you.
Ok, so it's not horrible, but I do have two issues with it:
First, as submitter Danielle C. points out, the girl is green. "I'm not sure why," she writes, "but I've narrowed it down to either motion sickness or a subtle witch insult."
(Ah, but there is one more possibility, Danielle: She could be an Orion slave girl! Granted, that might be construed as an even bigger insult than the witch thing, but any Trek reference is a good one in my book.)
And secondly, this cake doesn't actually say anything. No "Thanks" or "We appreciate you" or "Today, skip the collating!" - nada. So in essence really all this cake says is "You work here, and we wanted cake." How...touching. I'm sure all the admins working there were inspired to new heights of administrative professionalism. Really.
'Course, considering these next examples I can see the logic behind a writing-less cake:
And Mary Pat, since I know all the glass-half-full people are going to point it out anyway: Those flowers ARE quite pretty, don't you think?
This Wreck, however, has only one redeeming factor:
And that is it's made of chocolate.
Yep, that plastic butterfly makes a heroic effort, but in the end still can't save this squiggly monochromatic mass from the Wreck heap. I can't actually say it's misspelled, though, because every time I try to decipher the squiggles the eyestrain gives me a headache. (And if that's a decorator tactic, it's brilliant. Brilliant, I say!)
Reader Comments (86)
I can't believe how bad the spelling is on that second cake. I can understand the double-f, but no s?
Wonderful post, as usual!
Don't forget, Enterprise established that the Orion Slave Girls are actually the ones in charge...just like Administrative Professionals!
WVW: trout. Yes, trout.
well.. they did put two f's in "professional..." hahah
That definitely says proffesionals. I'm going to go ahead and declare that word misspelled. It's 9:50 am EST.
nope, the chocolate cake definitely has two f's in "professional," so the squished font technique did not work. It is chocolate, however.
Holy crap.
Holy, HOLY C-R-A-P CRAP!!!!
That admin being (I remember when they were called "secretaries") is --no question about it--VERY, VERY good at what she does. She is able to conduct business without a single key on her keyboard! Without blinking a pastel eye! She also must be left-handed (or magic) because I don't see a mouse. Her headset is growing straight out of her head. I'm guessing Borg.
Well maybe she was a very bad administrator and so cake was the only way to make up for it? Anyhoo... the chocolate one is um.... very.... brown. Yes... that's not too incriminating. Brown.
I do think that last one is misspelled. I believe I can see the loops of two consecutive f's.
So can I recommend a new national holiday? "Give A Dictionary To A Bakery Day!"
"So, for all you administrative professionals out there who had to order your own cakes last Wednesday, this post is for you."
LMAO!!
And that chocolate one doesn't even look that appetizing for being chocolate.
I also maintain that anyone who IS one, EMPLOYS one, or is making a cake DEDICATED to one, should at the very least be able to SPELL the damn word "professional" correctly. Crap like this makes my *crabby* cells riot violently in my brain.
Good thing these are funny!
=^><^=
I'm baffled. Maybe it's because I am on the other side of the pond. But are you saying that there is a specific day in America where cake is given to secretaries??? Sorry - administrative professionals? An *actual day* like Mothering Sunday or Valentines? I mean, do bosses give their employees cards as well as cake? Or the day off? Wow!
We Brits don't have this. I guess our cynicism is a successful shield against the marketing ploy of greetings card companies . . . or maybe we don't appreciate our 'administrative professionals' enough . . . or maybe we appreciate them *every* day, not just one prescribed to us by Hallmark. . .
And do you celebrate *everyones* jobs? I mean, there are more than 365 professions out there so the cake and card companies must be doing orders every single day of the year and doubling up too, no doubt, at busy times like Christmas . . . Do you have a list of days like this? "Happy Waitressing Day" "Every Best Wish to my local Fishmonger" "Felicitations to you on Bricklayer's Day" . .. that sort of thing.
Wow - no wonder there are so many cake wrecks out there. My horizons are well and truly widened! Thanks!
No wonder Admin Asst. are so needed. No one else in the office can figure out how to order a cake. Bless her little green heart.
Hilarious commentary! Oh, and I love how they found it necessary to give the green woman, in no uncertain terms, boobs.
JO Uk,
I seriously just had the most fun reading your comment (you sounded just like Q from the Bond films in my head).
But yes, the day is real, and much deserved by those brave souls who slave under tyrannical memo-wielding bosses for a living.
That said, we also have:
Apr 11- Eight-track tape day
Oct 3- Virus Appreciation day
Jan 6- Bean day
But who doesn't love beans?
mmmmmm beeeaaans...
john
That second cake definitely explains why we need administrative professionals... I mean, proffionals... clearly, the bakery needs to hire one to do their proof reading!
Now why would you treat so poorly the person in the office who is most likely to know all your personal info?
I'm looking forward to the Boss's Day cakes! The difficulty will be trying to differentiate which errors were unintended.
I think I'm glad we just gave our administrative professional flowers.
It would be so much simpler if they still called it "Secretaries' Day!"
John -
I didn't know that we had such arcane holidays. I guess that I need to add those to my calendar!
What does one do to celebrate 8-track day?
Presumably on bean day, you eat them - or is that you don't - you free them?? You're FREE, have cake!
You definitely have cake for Virus appreciation day.
Sadly, I think we have Administrative "Proffional" Day" because they would never get appreciated without it.
The butterfly looks like it flew into the galaxy..probably sent from the Orion girl.
~Amy
PS. Professional is the "professional' spelling.;O) LOL
Maybe with the last two cakes they're trying to make the point that the administrative professionals are the ones that do the proofreading?
john(the hubby of Jen) said...
"... we also have:
Apr 11- Eight-track tape day
Oct 3- Virus Appreciation day
Jan 6- Bean day"
=================================
Virus Appreciation day?!
Good Heavens--you weren't making it up!!!
(I Googled it while nibbling on a grain of salt.)
Now there is time to plan accordingly.
For me, that means doing absolutely nothing--but thanks just the same! The world is a better place for having so many Important Days to acknowledge and make cakes for!!
>^~~^<
Perhaps they should have stopped with a simple 'Thanks!' As a former cake decorator, trying to squash the word 'professional' in amongst the flowers is never a good idea.
Ah, John!
Yes, we are all *just* like James Bond characters over in the UK! You've obviously visited our fair shores . . I even have a cat like Q's . . . .
But hey - how's this for wierdness - my birthday is on January 6th and my daughter's name is Bean!! So, now I shall be able to raise another glass in honour of the American Bean Day. How jolly will that be!!!????
Oh, hang on a tick - you're joking, aren't you?
(confused) Aren't you??
(thinking) Oh, any excuse for a cake, it would seem - and I expect beans (in all their variety) would be a particularly easy shape to bodge . . .
(My daughter isn't officially, birth-certificatley called Bean but it's what everyone calls her. My birthday *is* January 6th, just so you remember for next year . . .)
"That second cake definitely explains why we need administrative professionals... I mean, proffionals... clearly, the bakery needs to hire one to do their proof reading!"
Wouldn't that be proff reading?
You guys missed my favorite non-holiday holiday. International Talk Like a Pirate Day on Sept. 19th.
Arrr! Now hoist the main sail me hearties and make haste! For there be cake wrecks in these waters!
#3...Happy Administrative Punishment Day?
After clowns in icing and bondage on a cake nothing will ever be right in the world.
wv...erget: the cake wrecks equivilent of this...http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Egret.
"his Wreck, however, has only one redeeming factor: And that is it's made of chocolate."
If you look closely at the chunk that's missing from the cake, you'll see that it's white on the inside. It's a sad sad wreck both inside and out.
Okay, does anyone else see the pinkness bleeding on the bottom of that first cake? Is that from the pepto-pink border or just a strange choice of airbrushing?
Oh no, Pam, nothing would be simplified; we'd be awash in cakes celbrating Secretarys Day or Secretarie's Day or Secatarrys Day or Secrete Aries Day.
@kid-lit-fan:
Heh heh...so very, vairy, varrie true!
What you said would be innevitible, inedibitle, inevatabel...
a sure thing.
I see you've been around this block a time or two, yes?
The orion slave girl actually seems to be wearing a Starfleet uniform as well (admitedly, one thats been through the wash a few too amny times)
"So, for all you administrative professionals out there who had to order your own cakes last Wednesday, this post is for you."
Yes, that was me. Not a cake, per se, but I was asked to send a building-wide email thanking our administrative assistants for all they do. It made me want to write, "And you know they're the ones who do all the work around here when they are the ones sending this email!"
The best part about it is if it were the administrative "proffesional" her/himself who had ordered that cake, they'd would have been looked down upon for the misspelling. (Take it from an actual administrative professional.)
And Cake #3 is the most "got milk" moment I've seen on your site to date.
If you're going to misspell ANYBODY's cake, it should not be the administrative professional. Many would send it back, edited in red icing. (speaking from past experience here.)
Oh the irony from Jo UK, a post about incorrect spelling and she has managed to completely booboo on the word weirdness.
Darn it.
Actually the Green Orion Slave Profffesssional looks to me a lot like Courtney Love, perchance after an extended mid-90's bender.
(WV: "cotab"--the medically-approved version of whatever it is Green Courtney was on when she modelled for that pic.)
I just thought the "girl" on cake #1 was green due to political correctness. After all, if you have several Administrative Professionals of various ethnics around, you don't want to pick just one to honor on a cake.
Or maybe ...
I was going to reference Somerset Maugham's Of Human Bondage here with his description of the green-complected Mildred, but she's a waitress--which may have something to do with serving cake...
This site is doing strange things to my mind.
WV Serfu Mildred asked "May I serfu some cake?"
And do you celebrate *everyones* jobs? I mean, there are more than 365 professions out there so the cake and card companies must be doing orders every single day of the year and doubling up too, no doubt, at busy times like Christmas . . . Do you have a list of days like this? "Happy Waitressing Day" "Every Best Wish to my local Fishmonger" "Felicitations to you on Bricklayer's Day" . .. that sort of thing.
I teach 7 and 8 year olds. Each morning our journal entry is a wierd fact or holiday for that date. Yes, you will be surprised how many obsure holidays we have, many of which have been cited by Acts of Congress. Yes, we can't balance the budget, but we can proclaim Jell-o Week or Pancake Day. I will abstain from the Larry Craig Make a New Friend in the Bathroom Day or Buy a Seat from Blagojevich "Senate Seat" Sale Day.
to: john(the hubby of Jen)-
There is an excuse for a cake (wreck or not) any day of the year. Just consult:
http://www.gone-ta-pott.com/index.html
for the celebration of the day, week or month.
Girl looks like the hulk to me.
The last cake is definitely misspelled, I can read "Proffesio-al", and I have no idea what it is between the o and the a, but it's definitely not an n.
I believe the green girl is just being very, very sick... of her job.
Aren't there any cakes celebrating Towel Day today? That's something that really deserves a cake.
What about Earth Day cakes? Are there none of those?
I can't WAIT for Oct 3!!!
What a WONDERFUL day. I should order a professional cake. (Granted I could probably do a better job--or at least a more entertaining one.)
Hi. I just found you. This is such a funny and interesting concept for a blog!
>This Wreck, however, has only one redeeming factor:<
No, two! It has chocolate AND sprinkles!
"You work here, and we wanted cake" is a sentiment I'll second any time. ;)
That explains the gift on my desk when I returned to work on Thursday.
So this crossed the other pond. I'm in Australia.
And that's why I bought our admin support staff ice cream sundaes instead!
Hmmmm - Anyone decorating cakes should be required to keep a dictionary on hand - and required to USE it...lol.
Julie from
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