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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Tuesday
Mar312009

Back to Basics

Sometimes we look so hard for Wrecks we fail to see the forest for the trees, as it were. After all, it doesn't take crazy sculpted nonsense or illiterate scrawlings to make a Wreck; sometimes all you need is a healthy dose of what I like to call "the fugly":

For a baby shower, no less.


Green streaked nastiness AND a cupcake cake. Wow, Heather, you scored big.



Die, tie-dye! Die!
(You know, I bet a lot of you are going to like this one. Well, rest assured I won't be calling you a tasteless hippie if you do; I'll just give you one of my patented sardonic looks. Like this: [sardonic look]. Crippling, isn't it?)



I actually made something like this once. Of course, it was with finger paints, and I was three at the time, but still...

Amanda, Anne M., Elizabeth C., & Miranda C., I'm sure these cakes are all beautiful on the inside.

Ok, that's a lie. But I'd still eat them.

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Reader Comments (152)

Those are ALL hideous, however, I am thinking the tie-dye one was hard to do. Thanks for cakewrecks! Makes my day, everyday!

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeah Hollett

i do admit i like the tie dye cake- except for the wonky borders and lovely moldy green sides... and the flourescent yellow bottom trim.

okay wait, let me rephrase... i do admit i like the TOP of the tie dye cake. that must have taken mad patience. except it's kinda crooked.

okay wait, let me rephrase... i do like the IDEA of a tie dye cake...

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

Really, the first cake is for a baby shower? Wow, I suddenly don't feel so bad about the baby shower cakes I've done! Thanks for that.

And you really let the second "cake" off easily. There's a lot more wrong with that cake than just the green streaks and the fact that it's a CCC. What's with the yellow stuff all over the cake? Are they supposed to be worms?

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTrevor

Did someone leave the top cake in the box for the whole nine months of pregnancy?

(Er... I *do* like the tie-dyed one. I'll be limping for a week from the sardonic look, though, if it makes you feel any better.)

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterajnabi

The first one just looks . . . well . . . words escape me. But worse, is number 2. Are those black olives on to top corners?

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRileysowner

The first one is obviously trying to inform us about pollution and climate change.

The last one is like a Rorchach's. I see a mermaid!

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkara

Hey, I think I have the shirt that was the model for that tie-die cake.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterEd

I LOVE the tie-dye one! That had to be hard - and I actually think they kinda pulled it off. Sardonic look received.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWinona

*raises hand* Yes, I am one of those who like the tie-dye cake, but many already consider me to be a tasteless hippie which means it not all that surprising.

However, maybe it's also nostalgia since that cake looks a lot like the spin art I used to make. ^_^

As for the others... well... Why do people insist on using green for a background? I love green, but on cakes it just looks unappetizing.

~ Peace and Love

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commentersugarapplesweet

Whoa. Those are fugly.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBecky

I WOULDN'T eat the first one. It looks like its been around awhile and it's made of mold. Gross!

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCrystal Copeland

I think I just threw up a little bit in my mouth.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenternorthern_hunter

The first one is obviously a shower cake because she's going to be seeing that color a LOT in the next few months.
The second one I swore said "Here Lies Sarah Heathen's Youth"...I thought maybe she grew up in one of those disapproving families that didn't go for you finding your own spiritual calling. (unclean, unclean!)
I won't say I like the tie dye, but it gives me happy memories of ruining my friend's bedroom carpet with one of those paint swirl things, aka Centrifuge Junior.
And that last one is almost vaguely Van Gogh...as re-created by his three year old nephew.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

Yep. Sorry, Jen. I like the tie-dye cake.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKara

The first one looks like something is growing on it, so I'm not sure you'd want to eat that one. The tie-dye may not be too bad in real life... would have to see it. I give them propsfor trying a difficult idea (I'm guessing a request, I'd hope they'd only do that with a request). It's a little too much though.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Dotson-Thomson

I have to admit, I do like the tie dye one....

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMommy of M's

hahaha The fingerpaint comment. Oh so funny.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBlalock

I agree with Maria, I like the TOP of the tie Dye but the rest of the decorating on it is....UG-Leeeee!!!!

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Here lies three dead pieces of poop.

Nastiness.

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

Wow, I need to remember to NOT be drinking something while reading about the wrecks....it almost came out my nose! Let me give you a sardonic look back! [sardonic look] Even more crippling, right? OK, maybe not.

Oh, and the word verification: winsu. I kid you not.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

Hmm...about the last cake.... I've seen alot of amateur cake decorators come and go and one thing that has constantly amazed me.... No matter how ugly the cake they produce....there is always a customer out there willing to buy it it. Yep...makes me shake my head every time. But someone WILL buy that cake. I can almost guarantee it. I don't understand it but that doesn't change the fact. Wait...( Light bulb click) Maybe thay're buying them only to show them on cake wrecks.....Nope! (sigh!)

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJudy

Is the first cake from a baby shower in 1972? All that green and orange!

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

These are really awful looking. Let's do some classes on color and color mixing and what makes an appetizing looking cake and... oh, never mind, I'm not going to those parties anyway.

WV=symplum for those times when your cake wrecks and you need more than sympathy.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdrgns4vr

they all look awful. mushy and awful.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commentervery married

LOL, yeah I do like the tie-dyed cake...but only cause I think I have that exact same shirt. Without the horrible border stuff, of course ;)

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

I LOVE the tie dye cake! The rest are hideous, though.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMel

Yes, your sardonic look is very crippling lol. The tie-die cake looks cool :D

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBilby P. Dalgyte

Ack! The horror.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDorci Harris

they all look familar to me, oh wait it's the vomit look!

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkyooty

The "tie dye" cake looks like the last thing Commodore Decker saw as he entered the Doomsday Machine!

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

#1 looks like a recycled Hallowe'en cake - it looks like a sugar bat was removed making that white "void" on the left, and maybe the orange blobs are pumpkins?? But I don't get the orange+green=brown airbrushing.

#2 would make more sense if the brown blobs were more grave-mound shaped. Man, that's ugly.

#3 is kinda cool. :D And I am immune to your sardonic look, as I am wearing my specially-coated glasses this morning. Had I been wearing my contacts, the blow might have been fatal.

#4 0_o Huh?! Utterly baffled by that one. Hallowe'en again? (What else could that color combo be part of?)

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

Sorry, mang. I like the tie-dye cake.

But still, I wouldn't order it for anything. I'm sure it tasted good, nevertheless.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCat

I'm with Maria - I like the *idea* of a tie-dye cake, and the top isn't so bad. But the sides... egads.

It actually reminds me of the little paint spinner I had as a kid. Insert a card, drip paint, and ta da! tie-dye style post cards. Or, in my case, tie-dye style trash since I don't think we ever did anything with them.

However, that method probably wouldn't be good for doing a cake, though cleaning the mess off of the walls would be tasty.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterdiopsideanddiamonds

Why does the second one have cannon balls piled in the corners??
And the tie-dye one.... Like Maria said, I like the IDEA of a tie-dye cake. This one is rather too sloppy and hurts the eye more than I'd expect from tie-dye.
The first one defies the comment-generating portion of my brain right now. Wow.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJasry

That first one looks like it's been sitting in the box for the last 20 years...and something was removed where those white blotches are. Not appetizing in the least!

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPink

That tie-dye cake is a masterpiece in that it manages to look kind of cool (they did the tie-dye effect well) and monstrously ugly at the same time.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJen - devourer of books

I'll admit it - I liked the tie dye - but I should disclose that I have a substance abuse problem.....

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterALBinNYC

Haha great blog! Not so great cakes... :P
I had no idea that you could do a cake with cupcakes...? :S
But I´m from Sweden, so I don´t know. Anyway, love the blog!

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnna

Oh, wait, that last one, isn't it supposed to be a version Starry Night? Except it's missing blue ... hm ... You're right. It's a 3-year-old's finger paint job on a cake.

*snerk*

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKamity

Are you sure that's a tiedye cake... and not SPIN ART? I was a spin art artist when I was about oh, 7.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRecoveringActor

I've said it before and I'll say it again: what were they thinking? Especially the one for the baby shower? :)

The tie-dye cake isn't bad...just a little too glaring. The others, though! *shudder* Hidieous color combinations.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLittle Scarf Girl

First word I thought of when I saw the tie-dye, "SPLAT." Seriously. Don't you think that's what a rainbow cake would look like if it hit the floor?

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPerkinsClan

LOL to the Trekkie reference it does look like that! Wouldn't the tie die look like tie die, and better, if it was airbrushed? Not only does the 1st look like it has been sitting in the back for a looong time, did they sell it with the boo boo on top?

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSonya

I'm sure they are all beautiful on the inside. "...that's better than not pretty at all...too bad i'm an outside pretty kinda [gal]..." (http://www.tabcrawler.com/search.php?show=viewfile&letter=m&artist=misc%20unsigned%20bands&tabname=ceann%20-%20pretty%20on%20the%20inside&tabtype=chords&id=55410)

(the tie-dye *IS* fun--and much like spin art!)

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThoughtfulAct

I'm a hippy, I admit it... I like the tie dye cake, moreso because it makes me wonder how the heck they did that any way.

Do you think the piped different colors in a spiral and then pulled a spatula through it?

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJade

I like the tie dye cake too! Not the squiggly blue stuff, or the attempted tie dye sides (maybe, is that what they did?) or the bottom. But the top is cool.

I agree with you on the rest though. Hideous. I would have cried if that showed up at my baby shower. Heck, I practically cried at my actual baby shower cake because the trim was the wrong color.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMelinda

What's with the glossiness on that first one? And I don't even know what that last one is supposed to be. It's almost like they had leftover frosting and then made the cake. Badly. Are there really that many people who do this for a living and don't care? I would be embarrassed if I made these.

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered Commentercakelady72

Boy, that first one...yecch. And I would like to know the thought process behind the last one. (Actually, I'd like to know the thought process behind most of the cakes on this site.)

But I think we have a great opportunity presented with the second one. If the submitting Heather is also the Heather whose youth lies in that sketchy cake, I have a few questions. First, what are the brown things in the middle of the cake? My guess is open graves--was that explained to you? Secondly, how did you respond to receiving this cake? Obviously, you thought it would be perfect for cakewrecks and grabbed a camera (nice work), but how did the whole presentation go down other than that? Third, who gave this to you, and are you still friends?

~kate

March 31, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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