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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Feb252009

Kids These Days

"They just grow up so fast." [wiping away tear]

"I mean, first Holly was asking for thongs for her 8th birthday, and now her very own Playboy-themed party at 12. Wow. Can you believe it? I'm just so...so... proud.

[blowing nose] "I mean, every parent wants her little girl to grow up dreaming big dreams, padding her trainer bra, and looking to attract men as a means of personal validation, but to see it actually happening...[sniffle] I'm sorry, it's just a dream come true. Why, in another 6 years she could even be on The Girls Next Door - not that I want to get her hopes up too much, of course; there's no telling how much longer Heff's gonna be around, after all.

"I know, right? It IS unbelievable. You know, the Smiths over there made their Jenny wait until she was sixteen to have her playmate party. Isn't that awful?


"I mean, geez, how stifling can some parents get? Although, to be fair, I hear they had a great pole-dancing instructor come in for the girls. In fact, I need to get that number for Holly's party, if you'll excuse me..."

Now, Karen P. & Sarah G., remember to keep everything in perspective: these cakes still aren't as bad as this one.

UPDATE: Apparently the prosti-tot pole-dancing class includes an age-inappropriate audience. Check it out, and don't miss all the priceless expressions on the kids in the crowd!

« When Common Sense Isn't | Main | Guess Who! »

Reader Comments (180)

Holy Cow!! I'll just hope the first one was a mistake. Can't really hope that on the second one, I guess.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterErin

Oh, Jenny's parents are probably just uptight Republicans. Such party poopers.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Here in Britain Playboy bunny-themed items (clothing, bed linens, etc.) are very popular and are marketed for young girls. Parents, inexplicably, seem happy to buy them. I'm glad you had the good sense to at least be offended by these cakes. (And we wonder why 13-year-olds are becoming parents...)

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMrs. Chaucer's Pirate

Ahh, art imitates life yet again. There's a girl down the street from us that's the same age as my daughter. We can't stand her and my daughter usually tries to avoid her (long story there).
She brought up a present for my DD's 12th birthday...DD thought it was really nice of her until she unwrapped it - it was a HUGE Playboy pillow. (it's actually the same colors as that second cake) DD kinda looked at me and said, "Oooookay" and promptly hid it in her closet. It hasn't seen the light of day since.
The same girl is now inviting the DD to go down and work out with her - she got Flirty Girl Fitness...you know the one that comes with the pole for $1?? Yeah. She's 13 and pole dancing her way to a flat belly. I can only guess how proud her father must be. *confused stare*

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLeslie

WOW...as a parent I find this completely disgusting...no wonder kids these days act the way they do..their parents teach no morals what so ever.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterminerva1822

Ahhh. hahahaa.. this one's rich. And the comments are to die for.

"Pole dancing instructor..." - hilarious.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterArlynn

My first thought was maybe they meant bunny cakes but these girls are 12 and 16. Maybe Daddy ordered the cakes??

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMargaret

As a mom of two girls, I am deeply, deeply disturbed. And strongly considering putting my hat in the ring as a foster parent.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpiecemeal people

I would love to know what the parents were thinking when they ordered these obviously expensive cakes for their 12 and 16 year old daughters.

And when they find them on the street corner wearing a spandex mini skirt and neon green tube top, those parents are going to wonder where they went wrong....

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterKashmir

Is it possible that those parents don't know what the playboy bunny is?? And just thought it was a cute bunny picture for a kid?

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeah, whassup wit all dat up in thur? My daughter's friend Tori got a Playgirl tattoo on her nether region when she was 16. WTF?

Cakes are well done tho.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAlix

The second one, for the 16 year old, actually has the word "playmate" on the side, so I don't think even an innocent mistake has been made.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDarkshines

Wow. Just, wow.

Great commentary! "...looking to attract men as a means of personal validation..." Priceless. :)

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSara Jo

What is this world coming to?

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDangGina

Agreed, your commentary is amazing. How sad that this is actually happening. Oh, Hef. Is he still alive? Wow.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRachel

The cakes are actually pretty well-made. I wouldn't call them wrecks...

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPaanduuh

*wonders why my foreMothers fought so hard for equal rights*

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHyena Overlord

Aack! I almost can't believe it...

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPuanani

I should get my 3 year old to be a playboy birthday cake! Why didn't I think of that...

http://gifoftheday.blogspot.com/" REL="nofollow">Don't forget to swing by my Daily Gif Blog, today is the Final day to get entered in my $50 giveaway!

DB

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDoublebanker

I think I'll be nice and just sigh here, then go shed a tear in private.

I agree: at least the cakes are well done. That's something, right? Right?

Word verification: illital, which is what cake decorators should do in cases like these instead of taking their orders so literally.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

What has gotten into these parents??!! DUMB, DUMB,DUMB!!!!!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterVashti

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This makes me want to cry...and then smack the parents around, like hardcore.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMiranda

In all fairness though...when I was 12, I was a C-cup, so well out of the training bra (I graduated to a "real" bra at 9). ;)

But, that didn't mean I got to wear Playboy clothing...my mom made me wear polka-dots. lol

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJade

I'm not a parent and I'm totally offended! Yikes. These parents need their head examined!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

Hilariously inappropriate! I love it. My daughter turns 3 next week...hmmm

HM

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Happy Medic

And the oversexualization of pre-teen girls continues... Hideous, and I don't mean the cakes.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterNicole

You have to admit, those cakes are spot on. On the other hand, I hope those moms are ready to be grandmas soon.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChiclet

OMG... I am going to be the sucky mom that doesn't let her daughter do anything. My husband is always furious when there are 12yo in Victoria's Secret holding up thongs, he is always whispering "where are their fathers?"

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterThe Fat Dietitian

Oh YES, the parents knew exactly what kind of cake they were getting for their kids. My (then) 13 yr old niece had a huge P.B. bunny poster in her room. Her mom thought is was funny. Now at 16 she's drinking booze with her mom. :/

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterTaraB

Good Lord!! That's just a whole new type of cake wreck... that's a train wreck!!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

Isn't Holly the name of one of the girls on "Girls Next Door"? Maybe Hef was interested in her long before we knew about it...

WV: reducl

Playboy cakes for kids under 18 are reducl-ous. (ridiculous).

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Ick. Extremely inappropriate.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

In fairness, the cakes themselves actually look quite nice. It's just the parents who are retarded.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterspyderqueen

The spelling is perfect!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBibi

Bunny ears and g-strings as favors! Woot!

Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHalf Assed Kitchen

I have to admit, I'm terribly disturbed by this. However, I did own a Playboy shirt and a multitude of sparkly, Playboy stickers when I was in elementary school and had no idea what it meant. I just liked the bunny. D:

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHayley

I could not have asked for a better CakeWrecks post on my birthday. Think it's too late to change the originally planned birthday cake?

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterpopkernels

For once, I didn't laugh. That a parent would allow that is appalling.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterkarina

My daughter is going to turn 7 this year... I wonder if it's time to start shaping her to become a bunny...
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWendy

unbelieveable. . . I'm stunned. . .

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLisa

To be fair, though, these aren't really cake wrecks so much as parenting wrecks. The cakes, themselves, are actually really nice.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjmcleod76

Hehe. Admittedly, the cakes are very cute, but... maybe more bachelorette party kinda cute?

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCamille

I'm at a loss for words

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterBellaLovesPink

I usually just grab a look and the fabulousity of the wreck, read the hilarious commentary and move on to the next blog on Google Reader...

Now that I am in the comments sections, wanting, searching for something profound to write...nuttin'. My brain is exploding and I can't find the right words to describe what I feel about parents who would think this is a great idea.

As a decorator at a bakery (a while back) there were limits to what we would decorate. I think these cakes would have been considered as "accessories to the crime" and would have been denied. It's amazing what people will do in the name of making another buck.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterS'mee

It's amazing that there is more than one of these floating around...

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterHorribleLicensePlates

There's no mistake. There isn't a man alive that doesn't know what that symbol is. I live in Utah,land of downright sexual stupidity. Even we know what that symbol means.
Also, The 2nd one just says it's her "16th Party" it doesn't say it's her 16th BIRTHDAY party. Maybe the 16th sex party has some kind of significance or something. I know, I know... maybe.... it means that she finally gets some antibiotics for that burning itch that she picked up at party #12.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJana

I 100009876% agree that these cakes, as they portray something in our culture directly related to sexuality, for children and teenagers. However, I would like to point out that just because an adult chooses to pose in the nude for a respected male-centric magazine does not mean she is a stripper or streetwalker, or has the aspirations to become one.

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMaria

This makes me sick to my stomach. And the really sad thing is there are girls as young as 10 giving birth hello out there!!! Why don't some parents get it! What happened to being innocent and wanting the coveted sleepover party?!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterLaura Moffitt

Seriously, what are people thinking?!

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterElleah

Good Grief! People are sexualizing kids so much these days.
Unless poor Jenny asked for a "bunny cake" and that's what she got.

~Amy B

February 25, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAmy

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