The Spirit Didn't Just Move; It Threw Up
December 19, 2009 You know that neighbor - the one whose house is currently covered in a full Big Lots' worth of blinking lights, inflatable snowmen, plastic nativity scenes, candy cane fence posts, and Santa-hat-wearing flamingos? Yeah, that one.
Turns out, s/he is also in the cake business.
Oh no you don't - no scrolling down just yet! This, my friends, is a cake worth savoring.
Why don't you call a friend over, click on the photo to enlarge it, and then take a few moments to count how many pieces of plastic there are? Next you can debate whether "Christmas" is two different colors to call attention to "Christ" or because someone ran out of red icing. Then, just for funsies, estimate how many bottles of sprinkles were poured on to make that thick crunchy coating.
Frankly, we could be here all day.
Ok, fully savored? Good.
Now, imagine being a business person, and one looking to expand that business. Would you - hypothetically speaking - think the above cake would be an effective marketing tool?
Why do I ask? Uh...well...
I know the mad sprinkle action makes it hard to tell, but that red paper is actually a business card - and of a wedding planner.
Yes, a wedding planner.
Who wants you to hire him.
To plan your wedding.
Is your friend still there? Good. Next time killer: imagine a wedding thematically congruent with that cake. Maybe draw a few pictures. Then send them to me - cuz THIS I gotta see.
To be honest, A. Nony, I'm a little jealous: this would've been a brilliant way for me to send my own holiday greetings out.
- Related Wreckage: Ye Olde Yuletide Ax
UPDATE: Well, I can't say I didn't ask for this. Heheh.
Marian Murdoch (who is a rockin' photographer, btw) cracked me up with the little bridge & Santa/officiator, but the best part is that shocked snowman. You can almost hear him saying, "OMG, Mary? Is that you?!?"
Then we have Fanboy Wife's creation:
Oh yes, it's all there - right down to the bonus-points-scoring red rickrack up the side of the bride's dress. That kind of attention to detail is what really sets you Wreckerators apart!
Another Update: Ok, one more, from 15-year-old Kelsie:
Love the children's choir. ;)
Click here to donate your dollar via our First Giving Campaign Page, or go the extra mile and help build a house near you.
Reader Comments (94)
Oh. My....
Um... is that really sprinkles? Or did those bakers have serious scalp conditions??? Egad. I think I need to walk away for a minute.
Am I the only one that finds it a bit morbid to have the Nativity scene with a giant cross over it? I mean...this was supposedly taking place a long time before the cross became a symbol for Christ, so isn't this sort of like having the Nativity scene with some gallows in the background? If I was Mary I would be thinking, "Wow, really? Someone is getting ready to crucify somebody right next to the stable where I'm having my child. That's classy." Talk about foreshadowing....over a BABY.
Augh! My eyes! My eyes! Too much to process! Not to mention my stomach hurts just THINKING about all that sugar!
On a more serious note, I'm happy to see Habitat for Humanity featured today. I went on a service project with them my freshman year of college and it was a wonderful experience. :)
Decoratoritis, anyone??
wv: reveng (what I could expect from my friends if I DARED make a cake like this for their holiday party!!
Just saw the book on the Today Show this morning! Cool!
I agree that the cross hanging over baby Jesus is totally creepy. It's like saying "Hey, welcome to the world kid! By the way, you're going to be tortured to death later, so enjoy your short life while you can!"
Wow. Don't drink and decorate.
Ok, gotta say...it looked like someone made the Candy Land game into a cake...just wow.
What's up with the Bridge Over the River Kwai?
Bawahahahaha!!!! I so needed this little pick me up today. What a sugar rush I have from all those sprinkles.
Wow - were these decorated by the same person? They're almost exactly the same, down to the organization of the plastic flotsam and the positioning of the images! Talk about lack of creativity (and a certain discerning eye for aesthetic!)!!
Nothing like snorking my breakfast eggnog! I think what really threw it over the edge was the plastic ruffle around the bottom.
And a wedding planner....*ROFLMAO* My Big Fat Plastic Wedding anyone?
scerings: My retinas received quite the scerings from the glare of the sprinkles.
Over the river and through the woods. . . to Joseph and Mary's we go!!
The whole thing is just wrong.
Kits. They HAVE to be kits. The random impossibility of two bakers reaching into that bottomless box and pulling out sleigh, bridge, two snowmen, trees and light bulbs for separate cakes is astronomical.
And the face that they MUST BE kits, put together on purpose, piece by piece, for just THIS purpose. . .ohhhh, cruel World.
The worst part is that there are two actual HOUSES tarted up like this, with bridge and kissy-kids a permanent fixture, then all the other geegaws scattered into the mix----that I CAN SEE FROM MY FRONT DOOR!! Right now, blazing away through the snowfall.
My Daddy took one long Southern look at it once, and drawled, "Ain't a THANG left in K-Mart, is there?"
I feel guilty by association for having the same Christmas present labels as shown in the first one. I vow not to use a single piece of plastic flotsam or sprinkle in my holiday baking as expiation for this.
Holy crap, talk about trying to cover all the bases.
Perhaps there was a sale at the Dollar Tree on the Bag O'Christmas Crap?
So you've seen that house on the corner of my block?
Love your charity links with every post!! YOU ROCK!
yes, yes. the cross is bothersome to me, in a manger scene.
but the cake, as a whole, is just plain ridiculous. both of 'em.
sometimes, more is not more. in this case, more is grotesque.
gives a whole new meaning to "winter wonderland"
I personally love that there are only six reindeer pulling Santa's sleigh. 'Cause adding the other three would make the cake too busy.
In the second cake, judging by the angle of the hill, I think Santa just cried a river over the cake.
And, yes, that cross over baby Jesus is really morbid LOL
You know we southerners think Santa is one of the Three Wise Men.
I'm not quite so sure about Frosty the Snowman or the Giant Lightbulbs, since I did sleep through that part of Sunday school.
I made the top wreck my desktop background so that I may savour it every day, all day, until Merry ChristMAS day comes around ^___^ bravo!
All it needs is some "Christmas stars" from Chappy Chanukah...
I counted 21 pieces of plastic on the first "cake". That is if Santa's sleigh and reindeer only count as one.
Just thinking about cruching into a piece of this cake makes me gag a little. I need to look away. Ick.
Oh, lawsy! I went off to see Yvette's site and about had a fit. My husband had to come in and see what was going on. One of my granddaughters is getting an engagement ring for Christmas, so of course I had to send it to her, too.
Yes, absolutely - that site and those cakes go together.
I think I just got ADD from those cakes.
Why is the giant gray cross near the "nativity" next to Dandruff Mountain?
I counted 20~21 plastic ornaments on the first one...yeah, I stared into that long enough to count.
These kinda remind me of those I Spy books for little kids. "I spy a button, some candles, and snow...." hahaha
I feel so very sorry for that wedding planner. I bet they dropped off their business card for contact information or so they can spell the company name right. Even better, if they wanted the design to be the inspiration for how they wanted the cake to look. I'd be mortified if I were that business owner.
What is with the first cake? The cross coming from the little manger shows as upside down! Who exactly was born in the manger? Yikes. I'd be a little scared of this cake in real life... you know: millions of flies coming at the window, black tar in the toilet, people with their head spinning in circles saying all sorts of f bombs about the big J... Nothing says Merry Christmas like an inverted cross I guess
More evidence of people's increasing inability to make hard decisions. Can't decide what design to use for the cake? Just throw EVERYTHING on there, including some burned-out light bulbs.
"Ain't a THANG left in K-Mart, is there?"
Racheld, your Daddy's comment made me laugh out loud.
Well, I am offering myself as the exception....I liked them. It looks a lot like the homemade Christmas village we do each year. From the cake wreck perspective I concede that they're wrecks, but so is the Christmas Village. As for the cross, well, its a very good example of foreshadowing, a writer's device, that adds a hint of what is to come. The problem here is that the "shadow" is too prominent. It should be much paler and less well- defined. Ok, I'm ready for the slings and arrows!
The upper cake as a skirt. As a final indignity, it has been given a lace skirt. Cakes should not wear skirts.
Rachel, I think the inverted cross is supposed to be a clever shadow of the manger's beams, with some, ahem, foreshadowing.
But an inverted cross is associated with St. Peter, who didn't deem himself worthy to be crucified in the same manner as Jesus and thus asked to be crucified upside down (which is even more unpleasant), or so the story goes. This cake appears to foreshadow that, too!
Word verification: alitypo - The Happy Hallidays cake from the other day had alitypo, even if it was in icing and not typed.
Um, seriously? Christmas light bulbs? Does the cake light up too? (wouldn't that be SWEET!) or are they just recycling old glass bulbs and sticking them on a wintry scene, like THAT makes sense. They're just mingling among the trees.
Now, what is the logic of a 3D winter scene and a 2D comic strip of carolers and/or the nativity scene? and a sprinkle OUTLINE? sprinkles don't work well for an outline. Is that 3D sleigh lurking on the mysterious mountain going to mount an assault on the unawares 2D characters?
Btw, love the foreshadowing of Christ's death at his birth, with a cross and a creepy shadow cast from it. *shudder* Wreckerator, do you know how long it took me to get my preschoolers to understand that they didn't crucify BABY Jesus? thanks a lot! great way to confuse the issue!
That wedding planner would have been better off with yesterdays xmas balls or penguins promoting seasonings. YAH.
wv: sultale--These cakes are an in-sultale to everything decent about Christmas and cakery!
@Jamie LOL. very creepy! not to mention the SHADOW of the foreshadowed cross. punny, and creepy!
wv: parri -- fencing term, of course. time to impale the cake with a fencing foil after the flotsam, trees, and lights!
@Karenlibrian ROFLMAO Good one!
Unfortunately I have been really busy lately and didn't see the charity suggestion post, but if it hasn't already been mentioned (or even selected!) I'd like to suggest the Alzheimer's Association as a charity for people to consider.
As someone who lost his grandfather to a long struggle with the disease, it's a cause very near and dear to my heart. I've been participating in Memory Walk fundraisers for the last 5 years to help raise money for research.
If anyone is interested in more information about the Alzheimer's Association and how you can help, their website is:
http://www.alz.org/
If you'd like to find a Memory Walk in your area, go to this address:
http://www.alz.org/memorywalk/
Also, lastly, if you feel the urge to donate, here is my personal donation page for this year's walk:
http://memorywalk2010.kintera.org/columbus/tstreet10walk
Thanks.
I think you and I both know what kind of wedding that planner creates - streamers, balloon arches, plastic flowers, paper bells, confetti sprinkles on the tables. Redneck-tastic!
WV: hayedl - The bales used for seats at the reception hayedl over the place.
Everybody now: Dashing through the NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
wv: thene
A Nativity thene to offend every one.
LOL @ EVERYONE today! And yes Anon @ 10:42. That winter wonderland makes me wonder...cross, bulbs and all.
And if this is a kit, what happens in the lower right half of the cake is up to the artist, er, wreckerator I presume. I wonder if the hill is part of the kit....
I really like the subtle white tulle ruffles UNDER the cake too. Because it needed a little embellishment.
Oh my. Does anyone else see that golden stream of "sprinkles" around the nativity scene? Reminds me of yellow snow...
Please, please, PLEASE tell me that those weren't glass ornaments and light bulbs on those cakes!!!!That kind of crunchy is definitely a no-no!
Oh. Oh my. I'm a wedding planner and I just had the BEST idea about how to drum up some more business for the 2010 season...
Everyone, expect to see my frosting coated card at your engagement party! I'll make sure the lettering matches the icing
There's ornaments with those bulbs, too. And "giant" snowman eating poinsettias among the trees. And powdered sugar"snow" over everything. dimming those bulbs! oh yeah, they don't light.
the bridge...wtf?
my eyes are bleeding.