Tuesday
Nov172009
What's Black & White & Wrecked All Over?
November 17, 2009 No, not this guy:
See, his stripes actually look like zebra stripes. Which is fortunate, since he is, in fact, a zebra.
Ask for zebra stripes on your cake, however, and there's no telling what you'll get. Maybe Jim's "huuuge pointy teeth!" model:
(Yes, she really did have to tell me this is the number 30. How embarrassing.)Then there's Kristen N.'s post-modern, depressed zebra stripes:
(Why depressed? Because it's a little blue, of course.)And then, the really lucky ones get a little of Beth P.'s airbrush action:
Ah. Such skill. Such attention to detail. Such...airbrushiness.But the really, really lucky ones get a shell-less albino turtle covered in gills:
Ha! Just kidding! Those stripes are way too good.
Kayla U., maybe your baker was trying to make the majestic zebra turtle. Eh?
- Related Wreckage: Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo
- Related Wreckage: Monkey See, Monkey Doo-Doo
Reader Comments (101)
That last one is very, very sad. Poor albino turtle.
PS You're killing me with the Python references!
I couldn't tell that was a '30' either.
And what the heck is the last one?(besides an albino zebra turtle of course)
Thanks for telling me that was a 30. I was cocking my head in all directions trying to figure it out.
Dang, my eyes hurt. It's like those optical illusion pictures... with no pictures.
The stripes on the blue cake look like crazy centipede type creatures, disco dancing...
what the what?!?
i cna hrdddaly ssssee to tyypp nyw.
aside from all that stripey wreckiness (!!!) ... again, what's with the cake sharing?! i think peeps deserve their v. own birthday cake.
as far as mr. zebra himself, awwwwwww!!! i LERVE him! too cute!
Ahahahaha!
I think Christina B.'s "30" cake looks just like a diagram of muscle cells. Click on my name to see . . .
Oh my word.... and the word is YIKES!
Are you sure that's a turtle and not the rare, zebra-striped prehistoric manatee?
I like that last one. Looks like it was made with… you know, longing. Made by a person really longed to see a zebra. Perhaps because they'd only heard of them by rough description.
Wow, that is such a bad idea for a cake,who would want an animal print cake anyway ? yueche! By the way is that baby called Cambria? if so its latin for Wales.Why would anyone do that to a child, dont get me wrong now, we live in Wales,and gave welsh language names to all our children. but its not a personal name!
well, now I know what not to order at the bakery.
That last one CANNOT be a professional cake!
Is that baby's name Cambia? Odd.
Any attempt at a brown striped zebra is going to look like diarrhea, that's a fact.
I had no idea it was a 30 either. The pattern going across both numbers blends them into one wreckful blob.
A very close friend of the family has offered to make our wedding cake. Although she is a retired baker, after much time on this website, I've decided to make our wedding cake very simple (and hopefully foolproof).
Having said that, I'm definitely asking for a "wreck" cake for the shower.
Hey, that is a "30"! I thought it was a splayed out "zebra" hide with the tail cut out.
Are we sure the last one isn't the extremely rare Majestic Turtle-headed, Zebra-striped Cat? (Scientific name: Wreckius horrificus) After all, it's extremely difficult in this day and age to find AN ACTUAL PICTURE OF A ZEBRA!
Andrea S. (wreck-porter in training)
wv: drasie The cake is such a wreck 'cause she couldn't drasie?
Back-to-back days with Monty Python references! I like it! Go for three!
the blue one looks like it's covered in leeches.
Forget the horrifying cakes; bring on more of the Cheetos-loving zebra! He's awesome.
Is that albino turtle cake extremely poorly frosted as well? It looks as if there's hardly any frosting on it in places and that you can practically see the cake through it.
Or is that just some brown frosting mixed in there to show how "dirty" the turtle is?
That poor kid--her parents will probably make her childhood a misery by referring to their marriage before she arrived as the "Pre-Cambrian Era". Even worse if they are paleontologists! Shame, though, because it is a pretty name for a beautiful country.
I did get the 30 but couldn't for the life of me read the names on it. Still no idea what they are.
No...seriously....what the heck is that last one SUPPOSED to be? I'm at a loss....
Heh, even with you SAYING it was a 30, it took me a bit to see it.
"What? Does she mean a thirty on the cake? I think I see a zero [which was actually the hole/center/whatever of the real zero], but where's the three? And what's with that side of the cake? Did someone eat part of it? OH! Okay, 30!"
Albino turtle....So funny! You crack me up. Thanks!
As I chuckle over the albino turtle comment, my four year old comes over to see! I say...
"that's supposed to be a zebra...does that look like a zebra?" "No!!!!" She replys with a laugh..."that's a turtle with stripes!!"
Is it bad if I actually like the first one and the blue one - of course, with the caveat if it's not supposed to be a zebra cake and just a few random designs. As zebra stripes, they're pretty bad - random, abstract art - pretty.
Honey, I'm pretty sure this is NOT Bethesda. Are you sure I can't roll down the window and ask for directions?
That last one is SAD. Have they ever seen a zebra? Do they know it looks like a horse and not a turtle? The fish gills are pathetic attempts at stripes. If they wanted to do gills, stick to a few by the neck, people! I think I can even see the cake through the icing. was it smeared off? did they run out and have to spread it REALLY thin? PA-THE-TIC!
but you have to love these wreckerators inventing new animal breeds. The shell-less albino gilled turtle is right up there with the majestic coiled craphound and oh, so many others!
Check out today's Washington Post. Your signing in Bethesda is mentioned, even if the article isn't really about you so much.
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/11/16/AR2009111602187.html
Some Cake Wrecks are obviously the result of someone attempting something that's just too hard for them, and some are inexplicable (Cupcake Critters), but maybe the most intriguing ones are where someone utterly fails at doing something that ought to be very easy. "Paint some zebra stripes on a cake." "Write the word 'Birthday'". How do some people manage to find their way to work at all?
And that sad excuse for a 30! (I had to study it to see it.) But why are people choosing zebra stripes for 30 year old and 1 year old girl birthdays? Unless, the cake of poor baby "Embia" was attacked by an out-of-control airbrush (what DID it think it was doing??)
And why does Brendi and Lindsey's 30 cake look like a mass of muscle tissue?
http://www.botany.uwc.ac.za/sci_ed/grade10/mammal/muscle.htm#smooth
I can't decide if the tooth cake looks like Kat's name is being attacked by black slugs or if her name is magnetic (thinking of middle school science project here) or what. Oh never mind.
The third cake is actually kind of pretty, except for the mismatched green border. But the blue and brown is nice. No room to write anything so it's a bit of a pointless cake and certainly NOT zebra stripes, but kinda cool in a modern way.
HAHAHAHHAHHAHAAHHHHAAAA!!!! That last one's face/head/whatever!!!!
Somebody needs to tell the baker of the last one that zebras have hooves, not paws.
Was that first picture of a live animal a zonkey?!?
The 30 cake made my head spin, I had to look away. And the blue one reminds me of murderous vines encasing the cake, like from some sort of horrible fantasy story. Nightmarish!
@ diddleymaz
Surely you must have observed by now that reason, logic, and taste do not always enter the picture when people are naming their children? We should be fair though--who knows what the kid is actually named...wrecks may or may not represent reality.
If you're looking to kill some time laughing your tail off and fearing for humanity, google "baby has a bad bad name". :)
WTF??? The last one looks like a turtle-headed, dock-tailed westie with black low-lights.
YOUR zebra pic is waaay cute.
Whoa... Marli you are right!
A muscle-bound, borderless, hard to see #30 it is!
WTH is that weird albino Zebra turtle actually supposed to be? I mean... the head and the tail ARE kinda turtle looking... but the feet? The color? The stripes? weird.
And surely the airbrushed mess is just supposed to be ugly stripes, right?
Also what is up with that insane shade of blue covered in brown poos?
Oops. 11:59 anony is "--kate". I know you guys hate true anons. :)
Oh yeah, now I see it - thirty. A three and a zero. I thought at first it was a mini-toilet plunger dropped on a zebra skin rug, and couldn't get the reference.
wv: tubicant
Tubicantid with you, I miss a lot of the MP references, anyway.
The albino turtle may not be a very good zebra, but I have to admit that I find it absolutely adorable. Look at that happy expression in its face as it gambols along! Charming and very cute if not-a-zebra.
Compared to the last four, that first cake can hardly be classified as a wreck. I think that I just might have guessed those were an attempt at zebra stripes without being told. Maybe. If there was a zoo theme to the party, or something. But the rest? No way.
Have these people never seen even a photo of a zebra? good heavens.
"A little blue"
ba-dum-dum!
"Thank you folks, I'll be here all week!"
*groan*.... that one was REALLY, really BAD Jen. Really.
But I still laughed.
wow, amazing, you have to be pretty talented to get them to look that bad
I like the blue zebra cake. Although, it looks more like a painting than a cake I'd want to eat.
Saw you guys at the book signing in Atlanta a week ago! Good times!
Dude, the 30-year-old cake looks EXACTLY like a black and white version of muscle cells! Crazy.