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What's a Wreck?

A Cake Wreck is any cake that is unintentionally sad, silly, creepy, inappropriate - you name it. A Wreck is not necessarily a poorly-made cake; it's simply one I find funny, for any of a number of reasons. Anyone who has ever smeared frosting on a baked good has made a Wreck at one time or another, so I'm not here to vilify decorators: Cake Wrecks is just about finding the funny in unexpected, sugar-filled places.

Now, don't you have a photo you want to send me? ;)

- Jen
Wednesday
Sep102008

The Cake Head Diet Aid: Killing Appetites Since 2007

We've all been there: six weeks of rigorous dieting, all ruined by the sugar-paste encrusted morsels at cousin Jill's wedding. But what is today's bride to do? Is it possible to have the wedding cake of your dreams while still showing consideration to your dieting guests?

Yes, it is!

Introducing the Cake Head Diet Aid!


That's right, folks, just place the professionally decorated Cake Head Diet Aid alongside your wedding cake. It's that easy! In addition to being a delicious red velvet groom's cake, the Cake Head Diet Aid will effectively dissuade all but your most ravenous and/or non-squeamish of guests from indulging in the gut-busting baked goods. Guaranteed!

Here's what our happy customers are saying about the Cake Head Diet Aid:

"The children ran screaming - no sugar buzzed hellions at the reception! Thank you, Cake Head Diet Aid!"

"Never have I wanted to eat cake less. Just the thought of your product has kept me up nights, and I've lost over 15 pounds!"

"When my husband said the wrong name at the altar, I was ready to kill him. Slicing into the Cake Head Diet Aid, however, helped me vent enough of that murderous rage to make it to the annulment. And the jam filling - oh, that was the best part!"

As a bonus, your Cake Head Diet Aid is completely customizable! From football helmets to sunglasses, iPod earbuds to nose rings, you can make your Cake Head Diet Aid the spitting image of your husband-to-be while incorporating his favorite hobbies!

So girls, be kind to your guests waistlines while giving your guy his just desserts: order the Cake Head Diet Aid today!

Michelle D., I bet these work great at birthdays, too.

UPDATE: Alright, all you PhotoShop nay-sayers: there IS such a thing as edible image printing, mkay? I also verified that this came off a professional bakery's portfolio site, so chill wit' da hatin' , yo.

« Don't Do It, Billy! | Main | The Painted Cake Cometh »

Reader Comments (193)

aughghgh!!!!! is that real???? what the H E double hockey sticks is that thing? I'm about to puke up my breakfast now...omg omg omg omg omg thats a HEAD!

oh and FIRST! I shot gun the corner piece of cake with the whip cream flower!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterpika23

OMG that is disturbing! The eyes are following me...

This decorator has some serious skills. Although, perhaps an occupational change to mortuary cosmetologist is in order?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh Cripes on Toast! That is awful, disquieting, unsettling, disgusting, eerie, ghoulish, macabre, nasty, ominous, scary, sinister, spooky, and down right icky. (Thanks thesaurus.com) But the decorator haz some mad skillz! I think this is worse than the baby cake...only because the eyes are following me around the room!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElvira

... I'm having trouble believing this one. It looks too real!

I think if I were at this receiption, I would spend hours starring at this ... thing, waiting to catch it blink!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterElizabeth

That is creepy...the eyes are seriously just creepy.

Do you think they could do like an Amy Winehouse version and call it a a Coke Head?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStephanie

Whoa, that's gonna haunt me badly tonight. I think I'd rate this as one of the best wrecks you've posted.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Yeesh, it's a bit early in the morning for such shenanigans.

I am sooooo tempted to ask for my (un)favourite politician's head on a platter... but I won't hijack your blog by naming names!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Firstly, as an artist I have to say that whoever did the airbrushing on the face did a marvelous job...

BUT! There is NO way I could ever eat anything that was staring at me! Muchless red velvet with jam filling! *shudders* The groom definitely had a sick sense of humor.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterV. Nicharico

Um.... jumped the shark much? I say this with sincere love of Cake Wrecks, but you're trying too hard. The early wrecks seemed effortless, genuinely funny. Now, it's kinda like watching Robin Williams on a talk show.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer

"Just when you thought it was safe to cut into the helmet cake at your wedding, it starts talking and winking, and now you've crossed over to the Twilight Zone!" ~"Rod Serling"

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJennifer Foster

Looks like someone photoshopped their face in.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKim

What. The. Hell.

Is that the most realistic air-brushed frosting in history, or is this a joke, with an actual dude sticking his head through a hole in the table and wearing a fondant-covered helmet???

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChaucer's Bitch

I like the mortuary ref by anon above--could be a useful replacement for what would be a closed casket ceremony... Want an open casket? We can offer cake!

I wonder why the transverse plane through the head was deemed necessary? What was wrong with the groom's chin?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJen

That HAS to be photoshopped. How in the hockeysticks can the face look that real?!?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAmanda

Double-U

Tee

Eff?!?!?!?!?!?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJessie

I would like to hear the thoughts of the person who modeled for this cake! Truly one of the most bizarre you have posted yet!

http://newsfromnola.blogspot.com/

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSara

Just when you thought it was safe to go back to the CakeWrecks...Seriously, like most disturbing cake yet.

Worst part? The sort of forlorn expression on the guy's face. 'Oh, sure, go on, eat my head, it's just my lot in life.' It'd be like eating Eeyore, or Marvin the Paranoid Android. Though I'm not sure using a cheerful photo would have been better, actually. "Sure! Eat my head! Cool! This'll be so fun!!!"

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKansas girl

There's no way this can be real. No way. It's got to be PhotoShopped. And who puts a guy in a PINK HELMET?!

This is disturbing on many levels.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMamaLemma

that is truly disturbing

wow

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterdamon

Wow.
That is extremely impressive, mind-boggling, and disturbing all at the same time.

I'm waiting for the day someone sends you one of these with a pic of them cutting it up.....I wonder if anyone actually goes that far?

Question; even if it weren't a head, how does one cut a spherical cake?

How about thos eyebrows!? Mmmm.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterrrr

argh!!!! that head cake is truly disturbing. I mean... it looks like a real head. On a plate. Who'd want to even cut into that thing?

I'm not sure which I'm more disturbed by now- the infamous meat cake, or this... (shudder)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenter*daisy

looks as if the face is photoshopped on.

I mean, the helmet doesn't have that kind of realistic detail.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenterfractalerrors

I'm disturbed. The face on the cake looks so real, as if some guy is actually sticking his head up through the table into the helmet. It's probably one of those edible sugar sheets that you can print a picture on to.

Still oh so creepy...

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKaye

i think the face's faded out colors are due to some serious embalming skillz on the part of the "cakemaker." oohhh, what a great name for a new horror movie character!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

It must be an edible image. I don't have any idea how someone would make the eyes that real, otherwise. I think edible images of people are creepy anyway, this one goes the extra mile. Why would it be so bad just to do a plain helmet. Would people not understand that it was the type of helmet that the groom wore without seeing an actual representation of his face in it? Ick.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commenteryellemama

I think that's a real head. He looks kinda sad about being decapitated.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterThe Courteous Chihuahua

Oh my...I truly believe you've been punk'd again. That face appears to have been photoshopped into that helmet. Not even an edible image would look THAT realistic.

Look carefully at the lower left edge where "face" meets helmet. Something is amiss.

Love your site, and take it as a huge compliment that folks will go to extreme lengths to get you to pick their submission. :)

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLynne

Wow, whose wedding was this? Salome's?

Salome to Daddy Herodias: Daddy, I know you've already spent $50K on my wedding...but what I really want is John's head on a platter.

Daddy: Well honey, you know there's nothing I wouldn't do for you. Consider it done.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterLorri

Oh my God! WTF? This one's really really disturbing. At first, I thought there was a real head on the plate. Sick, very sick.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterGirl Khan

Creepy idea, I will not do people or animals, but you have to admit, the skill of the decorator shows!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterEvelyn

This is just wrong... wrong, wrong, wrong... I'd love to meet the person that thought this was a good idea!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterTracy

Such great cake skills, so little judgement.

Exquisitely executed (pun intended), but WHY?!?!?!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentermim

Words cannot describe the feeling of sickness I have in the pit of my stomach. YUCK!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterJupiter

I kept waiting for it to go Hut!Hut!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered Commentertrash talk

Oh Dear God! What the hell is that thing? It rivals the life-like baby cakes.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterStacey

that has to be photoshopped.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

You know, edible ink and paper CAN be put to better uses. Good God.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKara

It also kind of looks a little bit like the person is emerging from the table, maybe like a wedding of the living dead kind of thing... ew.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRuth

I gotta give the decorator props, the face looks SO realistic! Creeeeepy! I agree, perhaps he/she should go into mortuary science. Could make a decent living in a funeral home.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterSarah

Brings a visual to:
"I'll have his head on a platter."

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Oh my good god that looks like a real decapitated head! Where's did they find this decorator...Madame Tussaud's?

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterMeg

OMG poor football head man, he's looking at all from behind his helmet cage, pleading with eyes to please not be eaten. And to have red velvet cake in there, only appropriate I guess, if you're gonna go disturbing, might as well go all the way.

I love your blog, thank you for the laughs!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterChristine

He looks so sad, must be because his helmet is pink.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

I feel like I've been transported to another period in time, where decapitation is still a jusitfiable form of punishment and the King orders the head of the theif to be displayed on the table for all to see and remember!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKiley

This is creepier than the baby butt cakes! WHY? WOULD? YOU? DO? THAT? TO? CAKE?!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Geez. it looks just like David Archuleta!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterCorey Wilde

That is seriously gross. *hurk*

I have never, ever been so disturbed by a cake! I actually went to the comments section as soon as I could so it would get off my monitor.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterRenee

Oh my, this is very disturbing! Nobody's severed head should ever be decorated with icing--it's just wrong. Ew!

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterKelly

It's a fake. The helmet is a decoration, but the face is a guy with his head stuck through a hole in the table and tray. Just so you know.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

Looks to me like the guy stuck his head up in a hole in the table. That looks way too real to be a cake. Wish the photo was larger, I'd be able to tell better.

September 10, 2008 | Unregistered CommenterAnonymous

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