Wednesday
Dec102008
The Haunted Holidays
December 10, 2008 [creaking door] "Welcome, foolish mortals, to Santa's Playhouse! Mwu-ha-ha-haa!" [dog howls]
"Please, come into the firelight, won't you?"
"Our candles are made with only the most festive blood-red wax. It helps bring out the holiday spirits, you see." [wind blowing]
[water drips] "Don't mind the cobwebs; we find they give the Playhouse a homey feel."
"Now, I'm sure you're just dying to meet Santa, aren't you?" [heart beating] "Well, here he is! Ahahahaha!"
"Loook into my eeeeyes..."
[door slams] [running feet]
"Wait, where are you going, my friends? Don't you want your Polaroid? Only $12.99!!"
Beth A., Deanna T., and Bradley W., hurry baa-aaack. Hurry baa-aaack!
Reader Comments (138)
I think the candle is the wreckiest cake today...followed shortly by the psycho santa.
i still don't understand what that first one is. it's a candle, REALLY?!?! that makes my heart sad.
LOLOL!! Nothing says "Happy Holidays" quite like a bleeding marshmallow, cobwebs and a demonic Santa.
Is the second one supposed to be a Yule log frosted in white?
The Santa cake is about a month and a half late for the holiday it looks like it was intended for...
~Jeffrey
Candle my foot...that's a re-creation of the Christmas Eve my mom almost cut her finger off on a can of green beans and I had to drive her to the emergency room with a t-shirt wrapped around the wound. (true story...and I'm sorry but that flame just looks like spurting blood to me).
And as for Santa...well....you were on the NAUGHTY list this year. But Santa will still bring you presents. In exchange for your SOUL! MWAHAHAH!
Mommy, when I sat on Santa's lap, I started telling him what I wanted for Christmas, but then I think I told him about where we keep the emergency cash and the good silver and the code for the alarm system. Is that bad?
AGGGHHHHH!!!!
Not only is Santa hypnotizing me - which purely on its own merit is creeping me out - but his whiskers are made of shaving cream. Tsk, tsk, tsk.
Word verification (deep breath): "rhedi" as in Redi-Whip.
Truly a Nightmare before Christmas...
Wow, that has to be the scariest holiday spirit I've ever seen! Thanks for the frightful tour!
Ack! Is it just me or did Santa get his brows done at "Evil Stylz" hair salon? Sheesh! Even without his 'swirly' eyes....egad!
Too funny!
Oh, that is PRICELESS!!
Are those webs supposed to be snowflakes???
Oh my! Looks like someone's trying to recycle Halloween cakes! LOL.
Looks a little like the NIGHTMARE before Christmas to me.
Are you sure that is a candle? Ah well, you're probably right: I dan't know what else it could be!
Love your blog.
Willemijn
I want to go to the Haunted Mansion now after seeing that!
It took me so long to figure out that was a candle on the 1st cake. I must need coffee or glasses or both.
OMG, what kind of stores are these coming from? You could frost 10 cakes with the amount of frosting they piled into that "candle" (is that appropriate usage of quotations?) lol
What a horrifying Santa! And to make it worse he's a CCC...dun dun dun.
Clearly, someone was proud of the spiderweb skills they learned at Halloween. And before I read the first one was a candle, I was cocking my head to try to figure out what it was.
Ignoring that Santa is a CCC (which we really CAN'T ignore), he's not that bad. I mean, shouldn't he be a little pale? I can't imagine there's much chance to tan up in the North Pole. His eyes... his eyes... they are strangely hypnotic......
The other two, though, UGH! I don't even GET the first one.
That has to be the most evil looking Santa that I have ever seen.
Is the top one really supposed to be a candle??
"And the murder weapon was a very sharp candle!"
"I would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pesky kids!"
Angie (from over at www.HalfAssedKitchen.com)
Ahhhhh... this one is a scary post! Especially that creepy, twirlly-eyed "Santa." Ooohhhhh
Why would any baker, in their right mind, imagine & create such a frightening scene???
And just think how the kids would feel!
i don't know whether to laugh or go hide under my bed. demonic santa may give me nightmares.
ok wow I so didnt see a candle. I had to look at it and then read it again and then I looked at it again. I still didnt see it. I was at the bottom of the post and reread it again. then I kind of saw a candle not really but Jen says its a candle I guess thats what it is. That is a sad candle though.
Oh my word...every last bit of that was terrifying...ick ick ick...WHAT are decorators thinking? I wasn't the best decorator in my time as one, but...I'd never do something that atrocious...
Why would a white candle have red wax dripping on it? That's just crazy. I can see the severed finger that Leslie sees.
I think the Santa cake is cute. He has the same eyes as Fred Flintstone while in a trance.
Those are some great spiderweb skills...unfortunately no one told the decorator that spiderwebs don't belong on a Christmas cake...
That candle and Santa are hideous.... Laughing at the shaving cream comment from Alix.... I scrolled back up and it DOES look like a shaving cream beard...
Maybe the first one is supposed to be for Hanukkah? It IS the Festival of Lights. (however that cake is more of a Fugtival!)
That blue icing on the ‘candle’ makes me want to brush my teeth...
On the second day of Christmas Cake Wrecks, Jen brought to me, two (well...three really) leftover Halloween wrecks, AND...a reindeer in the shape of a floppy-eared bunny!
I’ve always wondered on this song if the receiver ended up with 12 partridges in a pear tree or if they just like re-listing what they got over and over again...hmmm...(goes off to do some research)...
~Bonnie B~
Actually, I realized fairly quickly (for a wreck) that the first one is a candle, albeit a bleeding one, but I'm still scratching my head over the second. Wha?! I'm going to hope Mandi's guess of snowflakes is correct, because I can't come up with anything remotely better.
I'm glad you mentioned that the first one was supposed to be a candle. Otherwise, I never would have guessed.
I must have a really dirty mind, because it was NOT a candle I saw... more like an emergency room scene, or the aftermath of Lorena Bobbitt! And the Satan, er, I mean Santa? I haven't laughed that hard since... yesterday's wreck! Thank you so, so much...
~Tiffany
Word Ver: downp - the art of peeing DOWN INTO the toilet, an art my 2 and 7 year old still need to master.
Are you sure the candle isn't a Hannukah cake?
Lol. I thought the Santa was rather well done until I saw the eyes....
Obviously, the decorator of that first one doesn't realize that only red candles produce red wax. I still don't believe it's a candle.
Spider webs and Christmas cheer. They always go hand-in-hand, right?
I could tell the first was a candle..but why on a blue background, and why would a white candle drip blood-red wax? Hmmm...
~Amy B
I second the Yule log theory on the cobweb cake, although for the life of me I can't figure out why it's white, if that's the case.
Well, a lot of bakers do the spiderweb thing to represent the rings in a cut log, however, this one is waaaay over done, as well as, WTF a white Yule Log? Ug!
Also, what candle has a red flame? Much less blood dripping from it? Merry Christmas, muahahaha.
Chrissy
Of course evil santa is a CCC...makes total sense to me :)
Mrs. Peacock, with the candlestick, in the kitchen, ftw!
Word Verification: fripy - The process of getting ripped off by frugal decorators
Oh what fun...more blue pooh!
At least if you were brave(?) enough to purchase the Santa CCC you could have a quick exocism and remove what appears to be plastic wrapped candy swirly eyeballs!
And I do beliee that is supposed to be a log. Considering how we all feel about brown icing, maybe the decorator was thinking "I'll just go for the snow covered birch log and show a little end-grain to drive the point home...plant a pointsetta in front of the imaginary fireplace...add plastic snowman cuz, hey he's sitting here..and voila! Holiday cake!"
-Becky
I want to see a face-off between evil Santa and the evil clowns!
Two words...why? wow?!
Santa might want to reconsider the shape that he waxed his eyebrows in! Oh my!!!
Argh. That bright blue icing is my biggest nemesis! Nothing makes me crazier than when grown ups walk around with blue lips and teeth from too much food coloring in their cake.