I Am So, So Sorry: 6 C-Section Cakes People Actually Ate
January 14, 2015 I want you to know, minions, that this post is not my idea/fault. *I* didn't make it Cesarean Section Day, mmkay? And *I* didn't make/order/condone ANY of these cakes, NO SIR.
But now LOOK what these bakers are making me do! LOOK.
;)
(Made by Darcy at Brown Butter Bakery who has an awesome sense of humor)
:head tilt:
Well, actually, that's not TOO bad. I mean, EW, yes, but at least they kept the gore to a minimum.
In fact, this next one doesn't have ANY blood! Yay!
;)
And hey, perky nipples! What mom-to-be doesn't want her friends eating perky lady nipples at her shower? Besides all of them?
I feel I should warn you, though, that this next one is definitely crossing a line:
;)
Not ready. NOT READY.
Just tell yourself this is a creepy old man poking his head out of sheet, and you MIGHT only scream for, like, a second or two:
;)
Brb, still screaming.
But you know what we haven't had enough of yet in this post? Doll parts and drippy red syrup.
;)
STILL SCREAMING.
Ok, for realsies, folks, turn back now.
'Cuz you do NOT want to see this last one.
It's bad.
Real bad.
Why are you still scrolling?
Are you on a diet?
Out of birth control?
Do you ENJOY feeling queasy?
Well, ohh kaaaaay....
;)
What's that? You want to ZOOM IN?
You sick, sick puppy, you.
;)
SCREAMING FOREVER.
"Thanks" to Jenn M., Matt R., Carl G., Anony M., Heidi D., & Amber B. for making me question all of my life choices up to this point.
*****
Thank you for using our Amazon links to shop! USA, UK, Canada.
Reader Comments (76)
May I say, there is no *proof* that any of these were eaten. All cakes are completely intact. I'd like to think that whoever ordered them spent a whole lot of money on unearen cake.
Wow! Did not need a close-Up of the last one. Once seen, it cannot be unseen.
I want to know why that last one is coming out of her DRESS!?!? Disturbing!
Is that what I think it is hanging out of the belly in picture number three? Because that deserves a close-up, too...
Oh, my gosh! That first cake is MINE! I made it. And I want you all to know, when they asked me to make it, I said No, because I thought it would end up on cakewrecks (Love you, Jen)! But it was for some nursing students who had just finished their OB/GYN rotation, and two were pregnant, so they wanted this for their shower cake. The loved it, it was delicious, and they said they had lots of stares and looks at the restaurant (OMG, they took it into a restaurant) Check out my facebook page (Brown Butter Bakery) to see that usually I make nice cakes. With mostly buttercream. That aren't gross.
Johanna, I couldn't agree more. Is it just because we are Europeans that we expect Nemesis to be lurking at the back of the party crowd?
Wow. Disturbing! I think I would burst into tears if someone gave me a cake like this at my baby shower. Baby shower cakes are supposed to be cutesy. Teddy bears. Carriages. Booties. Not violent and sexualized. I don't think I would like to know anyone who would find one of these cakes cute or funny. Except maybe #2, but even that one is disturbingly sexualized. (Yes we all know that's what got you into this situation in the first place but I don't think the cake needs to emphasize it!) A fun game that I have played at showers is to (without the mother to be realizing if possible) have someone write down what she says when the presents are opened. This is read out loud later as "What she said the night the baby was conceived". Hysterical when it's lines like "oh how tiny!" "Isn't it precious" and "oh I really needed one of these". (Do a similar game at bridal showers and it's "what she'll say on the wedding night".)
I'm with Johanna.
I read cakewrecks every day but I never comment here.
But this one COMPELLED me.
Yo, cakemakers!
Just because you CAN make a graphic cake, doesn't mean you SHOULD.
Thanks for telling us the backstory on the first cake Darcy. Your presentation is very clean.
I think if a person really loves zombie movies or the Alien movies, one could really like these cakes.
Fun tip for expectant mothers: try applying temporary tatoos on strategic parts of your body as you go into labour. It makes the pictures more fun and staff blink. Also, i was able to wear a cute and short litte sundress for my two labours (yay Canada) I vaguely recall it may have been swapped out for something hospital for the one c-section.
The timing of this post is uncanny. I had a c-section on Tuesday. It was not cute like a cake.
You warned me. You did. I know. I don't blame you. But I just threw up my breakfast. Over my laptop. At work.
Grammar Gracie, you rock! Sexualized violence against women really is everywhere.
I am wondering why one would stick a "welcome whoever" sign in the hand of the emerging baby as if it were welcoming itself.
That last one...kind of reminds me of The Shining...not sure why that book would pop into my head...
I like the last one and would gleefully unveil it at my baby shower if A) I could get pregnant again B) was planning a c-section and C) didn't think most of my friends would laugh and eat the cake too.
Well I was warned but I didn't listen. Now to go cry in my bathroom while hiding from the hideous cakes lol. Boy bring that to my baby shower and let's see how many people remain once I saw that last cake.
These don't actually bother me that much. #1, they're only cake. #2, I've watched the real thing (and much worse) many, many times.
But there is no denying that this whole"mother torso with sonogram/C-section/baby hands and feet" concept is in incredibly poor taste-the nipples and graphic details are just "icing on the cake", as it were.
Somewhere there is a person serving circumcision cake. People never cease to amaze me.
OMG, what the %@$#! is WRONG with people??!?!?
This post was hilarious, like everything else at Cake Wrecks, but OMG, the content!
These things (with the possible exception of #2) are the most disgusting and unbelievably gross excuses for cakes I've ever seen. They're even worse than the "baby head emerging from bloody vagina" cakes.
No, scratch that. Both kinds of cakes are equally gross. Because both kinds of births are "messy, sticky, bloody, and gross," as Cookiemamma says. Which means that I (and most of us, I'd warrant) don't want to look at EITHER kind, in reality OR immortalized in cake.
I can't imagine why ANYONE would want to display one of these horrors at a party, much less *GAG* eat it. I can't even imagine what goes on in the minds of people who think this sort of thing is a good idea.
I'm just glad I had my one baby long, long before trends like this got started, so I didn't have to worry about being ambushed by a bloody birth cake at a shower.
Yuck, barf, upchuck, hurl. gag, retch, vomit. GROSS!
That last one looks like it came right out of a horror movie.
That last one made my c-section scar throb a little bit... :-/
...um
Oh. . . dear. . . God. Nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure.
Oh. . . dear. . . God. Nuke them from orbit, it's the only way to be sure. (Seriously, am I the only one around here who looks at those cakes and thinks of a certain scene from 'Alien'?)
When I get sick of the depressing Donald Trump nonsense all over the Internet, I come to this site for therapy. Easily the funniest, most hilariously innocent and entertaining thing out there. I love it. Thank you, thank you. Love it.
OMG, THE LAST ONE WAS KINDA CREEPY,