Through Sick and Gin

They say you never appreciate your health and home until you're eight hundred miles away from home hacking up a proverbial lung in a not-so-proverbial Microtel with suspicious sheets and a broken A/C unit.

Now, I know what you're thinking. Who are these mysterious "they?" And how do they gain their all-encompassing knowledge? And what, exactly, do sheets have to be suspicious OF?

(Have I mentioned yet that I've been taking a lot of Robitussin? No? Excellent.)

And so, in conclusion, I'm writing myself a Get Well post from all of you. Because I know you care. And I probably won't remember any of this tomorrow anyway. (Another hot toddy? Don't mind if I do!)

Meth? Why, yeth, thith cake ITH a "meth."

Actually it's "Jen."
And hey, I'm right here!
I mean, just because someone is humming the theme song to 2001 while rocking a doll made entirely of used Kleenex doesn't mean she can't hear you.

(Daaaa. Daaaa...DAA DUMMM!!)

Now, maybe this is that last Airborne margarita talking, or the honey-soaked onions, or the Vick's vapor rub squishing between my toes, but... is that a sick Bilbo Baggins wishing me a happy birthday?

(You know, this guy?)

'Cuz I gotta be honest: The implied comparison here isn't making me feel any better.

(For that matter, neither are the Dr. Pepper enemas.)

(In fact, I'm starting to wonder if some of these anonymous chat room doctors might not be entirely trustworthy.)

Well, maybe a nice cookie cake will distract me from all the yucky parts of being sick.

Whoah, whoah, whoah! What's with the needle? Is this some kind of threat? What ever happened to teddy bears and flowers?

Well, I'm pretty sure that's a daisy.

So I guess that's one long shot that paid off in the end.

(Think it's solid buttercream?)

(And syringe cakes: do they really *need* a point?)

('Cuz I'd say that cheeky baker really injected some fun into his bottom line!)

(Something something spankin' new rear view mirror. Or something.)

Aaaand that's a bum wrap.

Thanks to honey buns Ethan O., Joe A., Katy D., Alyssa R., & Laura R. Now, someone pass me the ginger peel gin, will you? I have a sinus spray to make.

Comments

[Ellen]

Ah, but is it a GERBERA daisy?

Feel better, Jen!

[Janus]

Actually, that birthday cake looked more like Cavity Sam -- the "patient" in the game OPERATION.

[Puppygirl]

I didn't have a chance to look at this post until today, being likely as sick as Jen, and lets face it, if I didn't have dogs who are pretty persistent about being fed, I wouldn't have gotten out of bed at all.
I'm glad I took a pass, as that cheeky cake would have been the death of me. Although my tummy is still none too happy today.

Get well Jen. At least you get to have as much "cold medicine" as you want. There's some sort of taboo around here about not being sober at work....

[Knit Wit]

I'm taking your word for it on the daisy. I don't want to look that closely.

[daniel42444]

I wish someone made me a meth recovery cake :]

[scyllacat]

That last one is so ... perky, all bouncy and squishy looking, but then I noticed the syringe was inserted most of the way up the barrel! I ... (well, they probably couldn't keep it from falling over any other way)... but,... um... DAISY!

[Anonymous]

i feel like an internet star, 'cause i'm the one who told you about honey soaked onions, lol!
--river

[wildmaven]

Daisy? Bwahahhahahah! That's the puckered starfish! *hands everyone a hand mirror*

[Jason]

Sorry, I read about a third of the posts but got tired and wanted to post this before I forgot. That last "daisy" is probably actually a chrysanthemum because the cake is from Japan and in Japan, that... exit... is colloquially referred to as the "chrysanthemum gate".

[Teresa]

Pei pa koa is pretty decent cough medicine (from herbal as I remembered), great non alcoholic medicine, some western cough medicine are more effective, but this is non drowsy.

You can access info online @
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nin_Jiom_Pei_Pa_Koa
http://ninjiom.50webs.com/

[Anonymous]

It's from China (the pic is labeled Beijing). Yeah, what Crayongirl said.

[Bhakti]

Hahahaha!!! --

"...rocking a doll made entirely of used Kleenex."

Hahaha! I can't tell you how many times I've left my pain management doctor while clutching a huge wad of...WHAT AM I HOLDING IN MY HAND???...used Kleenex!

You are such a great writer: what a humorous visual!

FEEL BETTER SOON! :)

[Sans Parallax]

100+ comments so there is a chance someone else may have noticed that the syringe itself is embedded into the bum, not just the needle, but the plastic, medicine holding, very large compared to the needle syringe.
ouch?

[Locke]

My reaction to the last one: "Hey, looks like Caligula took up baking. Good for him."

[Kay]

I'm pretty sure the "daisy" on that last cake was a reference to "Caligula". *shudder*