Tuesday
Jan042011
Resolution Time
January 4, 2011 Each January, millions of people around the world use the dawning of a new year as a reason to stop eating HoHos. And each January, millions of people fail miserably.
[shaking fist] (I wish I knew how to quit you, HoHos!)
But not this year...
This year, I resolve to:
Eat more fruits and vegetables.
This counts, right?Cut down on my caffeine intake.
...especially while baking. It makes your hands shake and there's nothing worse than dropped Bawls.Take responsibility for my mistakes - even the itty-bitty ones that no one else would ever really notice.
The frownie face shows I'm sincere.Learn Esperanto.
And finally, stop selling babies on the black market.
...or at least start packaging them better. (Customs can be such a pain in the butt.)Thanks Rachel T., Lisa, Alicia G., Monique R., Jessica R., Karilee S. Hmm, Captain Kirk, beer and herpes. I think I remember that episode...
Reader Comments (73)
Grapes? Ew...
That last picture kinda reminds me of the Creepshow movie feature The Crate
Yikes!
#1 Ok, the grapes bring good luck. What does the packaging twine / cargo netting bring? Notice the theme is kontinued on the cake to the left. Is the Parmesan cheese on the grapes part of the tradition?
#2 Ya gotta admit, it took Bawls to decorate that cake. One would think that product would be in an unbreakable container, though.
#3 Proof that there is no point at which a wreckerator says, "Decorate it yourself -- I ain't writin' that."
#4 And they say Klingon is a made-up language.
#5 You could say the packaging needs work, but how would anyone know what was inside -- especially at a baby shower. Why, "A special gift from Heaven" could be anything. I know childhood obesity is said to be an 'epidemic' these days, but a baby with cellulite?
Regarding yesterday's public safety tip about HoHos and peanut butter cups, just cut them in half first (I would cut the HoHos lengthwise, just to be sure). If you see a party in progress, take a picture and attach it to an email to the company in question. Be sure any applicable government health agencies and your favorite blog appear in the CC field. VOILA -- an immediate response.
wv: unclessn. That's the past tense decimated participle of 'unclean' in the language I'm making up.
Incubus is totally the wrong movie if you want to learn Esperanto, Shatner's pronunciation is atrocious (yes, I speak Esperanto, and yes, I've seen the movie)
You know, I always thought it was bad when your Bawls DIDN'T drop! I know guys that have had to have surgery for that... :D
Is it just me, or is there a BORDER around the bawls bottle? Is that to keep it from rolling off the cake or something?
Aliza at 1:29 pm -
This is a HoHo... http://www.hostesscakes.com/hohos.asp.
Sorry! You are going to have to copy and paste. I couldn't figure out how to insert the hyperlink. I agree with the others that Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls are better, and not just because my name is Debi, either! :)
Jen- You should check out the Hostess web site. There are some wacky wedding cakes on there - another twinkie cake and a combo Hostess cake cake. Enjoy and wreck on!
Debi
LOL for the herpes cookie...
Nisrine
OMG, the Baby Butt Cake is my favorite! "Who smashed the baby in the lid of the box?!" I thought the ones with the baby butt on the top of the cake were bad...hahaha :)
Can't...not...laugh.
Bawls? So the stuff makes you cry? I had to look it up, too. Let me know when the kid turns 21 because that might be a party I want to attend!
WV: giday
The word verification has learned to speak Australian!
Bawls is a guarana drink - guarana is a berry from Paraguay and Brazil and is a popular soft drink flavor there. Bawls is aimed at computer geeks here, due to the caffeine content (Think Geek.)
I love it (not as much as Simba Guarana, which is only available in Paraguay) and it's fun to yell "they've got Bawls! Blue Bawls!" in a grocery store.
"I wish I knew how to quit you, HoHos!" gave me the giggles.
I think the first cake was aiming for a vineyard/winery look, like a basket lined in white linen filled with grapes and grape vines? Or something? My best guess anyway, given all the weird brown squiggles. But hey, white grapes and frosting is NEVER a good idea.
Clearly Bawls was named so people could make jokes about it, and therefore buy it. Duh! It's not even that weird to me - I live in Taiwan and we have a brand of almonds (or cashews as another option) called "My Nuts". I don't think it was intentional, as that sort of slang isn't really known here.
Also, yeah, if it were alcoholic that would be technically illegal, but more civilized, less paranoid countries have drinking ages set at 18 (sorry, yo, I'm American and 30, but I honestly feel the drinking age set at 21 is ridiculous).
So, here's a question: who can honestly say that they didn't touch a drop of alcohol until they were 21? (I know some people can...but the majority)? I personally had my first glass of wine at 13. With my parents. And Grandma.
I think I nearly choked when I saw that sorry about the herpes cake. Who on earth thinks that is an appropriate way to apologize lol. Come on now everyone knows about it and whoever receives that outta punch the giver in the nose..after smushing it. Now I want grapes and tons of frosting. That makes a great diet.. lol.
AHHH!! The Baby-eating Box of Doom!!!
Mi kontentas ke vi konas la filmon "Incubus". Mi ne parolas multan Esperanton, sed ĝi estas amuza flankokupo.
{If a real Esperantist reads that, please pardon what I'm sure is awkward language.)
But seriously, now I want grapes. And a HoHo.
Great Cakes! Happy New Year!
First time checking out your blog - reminding me of the time we stopped on our way to our son's college graduation to get a cake at a grocery store off the interstate...First as we were waiting the store manager came over and said to the clerk decorating our cake, "YOU are decorative cakes now, Tom?" then when Tom presents the cake to us he says, "Here it is; I only had to scrape it twice!" Guess we should have opted for some nice pre-decorated cupcakes that day!
I am so glad someone made a Red Dwarf reference! Thanks so much Sarah! The Herpes cookie made me giggle so long my husband came out to make sure I was still breathing! Then I had to check up on him with the Klingon language cake. Too funny!
Fruit on a cake can be good IF DONE RIGHT.c
That first one? SO wrong.
#3: I facepalmed at that.
ewwwwwwww.
hey, check out http://justsomepetpeeves.wordpress.com!!! worth it.
lol @ the herpes cake
it is frosted well, i'll give it that.
i'd hate to be the receiver of that cake