Well Met, Helmet
January 25, 2011 Apparently, there was a football game over the weekend. Or something. And while I care slightly less about football than I do about squirrel husbandry, I figured now would be a good time to talk to you about protection.
Er, of your heads, I mean. Not my squirrels' nuts. (Those are in the shed. Next to the zippers.)
So...helmets! For your heads! Except the cake ones, of course, which are for your mouth!
It's actually really hard to make a cake that looks like a helmet. There are all the doodads and thingamajigs and whoosywhatsits, and if you're not careful it just looks like a heap a' flimflam jibber jabber!
(Wow. I just turned into my grandfather)
First, let's have Mr. Floopers model a real football helmet for us:
"I hate you."See? It's simple. Just wrap your cat in a towel, and you can get almost anything on his head.
Oh, and the helmet is pretty easy, too.
In fact, when you break it down artistically, you can see that it's really just a big tombstone with a snail on it:
RIP, Ravens.Or a one-tentacled jellyfish:
"Comb the dessert!"A well-executed cupcake cake (hooy-patooty!) is great for crushing the other team's spirit.
"Choppin' broccoli!I'm choppin' brocolay-hay!
I'm choppin' broccoli!"
Why, just look at the terror in their eyes:
"And that little pile of poo is a fleur de lis!"[other team's minds exploding]
Hey, a football field is 300 feet.
Peeping Tom Brady. [shudder]Thanks to Tim M., Cassidy S., Hunter F., Molly M., Erica B., Dena G., Amy K., & Lisa K., who think someone really should tell Giselle.
Reader Comments (118)
I must agree with Frank! I read the reference, thought about it, and 'lightbulb' got it! A most definite favorite while growing up!
And then remember the footballs? How do you make an oblong football out of circular cupcakes? I don't know, but here's an idea: carve an actual cake!
@ great references today!
"We ain't found s#!%!"
"My lady she went downtown....she bought some broccoli. She brought it ho-home....She's choppin broccoli"
Thanks for the "Choppin' Broccoli" reference! I laughed hard remembering that!
I thought the "comb the dessert" ones looked like Beaker standing in front of a giant, uh, round headed lizard?
Also, I love that the yellow "fleur de lis" has a sticker on it that says "message cookie". I think the wreckerator's message is the same as your cat's (while wearing the helmet).
Yeah, I didn't get the Broccoli song either, y'all. Or the Nut Zippers. Off to do some "research"!
Andrea
As a football lover I wonder WHO on God's green earth buys these? Or makes them for that matter! And can I just say, I didn't know it was possible for my like for you to grow until you pulled out that Dana Carvey reference and I knew you will always hold a special place in my heart. *Grin*
R.I.P Ravens and terrorized Jets? You know more about football than you're letting on, Jen! Go Steelers!
I LOVE that someone else (actually, looks like MANY someones!) knows the 'choppin broccoli' song! And toss in a Spaceballs ref?!
WIN! .. unlike those cakes(?). Scary.
another non-football fan here... at least I got the squirrel nut zippers reference :)
(and the cakes are horrid as always - that's why I love ya!) (in a purely platonic way) (really)
Okay, I totally thought the first pair of cookies depicted men wearing tall white chef's hats. The second cookie - who knew that pac man played football?
FORTY DOLLARS?!??!?!?!!
Obvious which cake tripped me up!
I actually kind of like the little round guys on the cookies. If you can't draw a helmet, cute caricatures are better than scary poop blobs any day.
I love love love that "chopping broccoli" song and no one I know seems to remember it. I can always count on Cake Wrecks to make my day!! xoxo
Are you sure the round yellow one isn't a Pacman that is now confused and lost?
LOVE the Spaceballs reference :) You two are hilarious!
LOVE the Spaceballs reference!!! Thanks for making me laugh! Cheers!
beaticSucre, a beautiful bakery and confectionery here in New Orleans makes phenomenal helmet cakes. I have seen them in person and they are gorgeous.
http://www.shopsucre.com/sweettalk/sucre-cheers-on-the-saints-with-helmet-cakes
I think that the broccoli cake must be what happens when you ask Cpt. Picard to order a birthday cake for Barclay's birthday party.
Thanks for putting that song in my head, all day, on repeat! :D I guess he calls it "The Lady I Know." I call it "Choppin' Broccoli." I don't know why it's funny, but it is! I found the Dana Carvey SNL skit here, though, for those who wonder, or just want to see again:
http://www.hulu.com/watch/4195/saturday-night-live-derek-stevens-chopping-broccoli
Ha! Now what do you have for Jon Lovitz?
Fleur-de-lis poo, or yellow smiley after getting punched in the eye?
a "Spaceballs" reference! yOU ROCK!
Show someone one of the pictures without knowing what it is. I did and she didn't know what it was.
"Choppin' broccoli!
I'm choppin' brocolay-hay!
I'm choppin' broccoli!"
Yet another person who actually GETS this! I love it!!!
I like your Squirrel Nut Zippers reference, and I like your taste in music!
OMG we do the same thing to our cat with a Michigan helmet.
If that is a real helmet, you have a HUGE CAT!
These are hideous! I'm now officially afraid to EVER make or post a football helmet cake.
A cat wearing a Pack helmet AND a reference to the Squirrel Nut Zippers? Jen, I am so in crush with you!
Make it stooooopp!!!
Btw...mr floopers?!
You named your cat mr floopers?
Please tell me youre kidding.
What a horrible thing to do to a cat! He was obviously rooting for the Bears!
I had to go back to see the Spaceballs reference and, yeah, it was worth it!
I soooo want to chop through the middle of Tom Brady's helmet! Let me at it!
The abstract one: Pac-Man. And I completely agree about football being slightly less interesting than squirrel breeding.
She chop -uuh! Man, I thought I was the only weirdo on Earth who knew the broccoli song. Are we the same people who remember the Jackie Rogers Jr. $100,000 Jackpot Wad?
I loved all the references you got into today's post, from SNZ to broccoli!
Thanks, John.
The Mr. Floopers pic -- with caption -- should be a poster. And a t-shirt. And a cake. Ok, maybe not a cake. Who questions the name of the cat? What else could his name possibly be; have you ever seen a more flooperish cat?
I like that "fan of the opposing team" comment, @Aliza. I also support a ban on decorating cookies. And anything else that isn't cake. Ok, frosted brownies do rule. But just frosting -- no writing, flotsam, swimming 'balloons', etc.
What became of the missing globe piece. I would have said, "decorator's bonus" but @Anonymous Becky nailed it: 'watermelon' slice.
If cats have a favorite team (seems like contact sports would be beneath them with all that dirt & sweat), wouldn't it be the Tigers?
You guys never fail to crack me up!!!
I've squinted, turned my head, flipped the laptop around, and thought of taking an extra dose of my meds...but I don't think it would help. How do these look like helmets???
(squirrel nut zippers- freakin' awesome)
I completely love Frank, Fluffy Cow, Craig, and Isolder74 (ST:TNG FTW), in addition to Jen & John!!! (don't worry, I don't stalk- I just ardently admire from an appropriate distance as defined by the court system)
Now, on to watch the Dana Carvey skit. I love this website- screw Word of the Day like most sites- we get Song of the Day here!!
-Barbara Anne
I lol'd at the squirrel-husbandry line. Seriously, thank you for making me laugh today.
I feel bad for the cat! He's staying still b/c someone's has some powerful arms or legs.
The head in the helmet cakes are freaky, like a disembodied head.
Thank you for the very appropriate Dana Carvey as Derek Stevens broccoli reference! That's one of my all-time favorite SNL sketches. The abstract yellow cake looks like a smiley face by Picasso... Do you think your kitty's expression could be at least partially in response to the hideous cakes you expose him to on a daily basis? I think Mr. Floopers should file for restitution.
$60 for a creepy peeping Tom Brady cake. Well, what do you say to that?!
Geeze... I don't know what to say abotu these. That Ravens 'helmet... is that supposed to be a parody or something of the team?
Googleing for GOOD football helmet cakes... I'll be sure to send you some links.
Aww cute cat. I sure hope the cat didn't get revenge after the helmet came off lol. Now if I were to receive any of those cakes I would promptly chase the bakers with a helmet just to show them what the heck they didn't put on these cakes. Ugh scary.
Personally, I think that fifth cake is perfect.
http://img27.imageshack.us/img27/7674/inglipcake.png
Assuming this is the intended result, of course.
Balized: I agree, my lord. These cakes have to be seen to be balized.
Man, not another Packers helmet!
lol
Should have been Chicago!
I'm still giggling at poor Mr. Floopers... and, sadly, wondering where I can find a Bears helmet to fit my Mr. Booty Kazoodie...
That poor, poor Jet... I wonder what he did to deserve such a fate
Nice Dana Carvey and Spaceballs references!!! Good laugh today!
On the broccoli-thingy, anyone notice the GIANT blob on icing on it? And why, oh why oh why oh WHY, did they put a photo on the last one!? that's worse than a CAKE head!!!
-B