Tuesday
Sep142010
So Hard to Say Goodbye
September 14, 2010 "Hi, bakery? I'd like to order a blue and white cake that says 'Bon Voyage, Charlie."
"Well, that's not exactly right. There's a 'V' in 'Bon Voyage.' But it's no problem. I can wait for the corrections to be made."
"Uhh.... well, I see that you've thrown a 'V' in there, but it's still not correct. 'Voyage' is spelled 'V-O-Y-A-G-E.' And his name is not Brian. Again, just a simple blue and white cake."
"Well, you finally spelled 'Bon Voyage' right, but maybe I haven't made myself totally clear. I don't want any drawings. What is... is that a bleeding cauliflower? Listen, I just want a plain white cake. In blue icing, I want 'Bon Voyage, Charlie.' Nothing else. Plain. Simple."
*sigh* "I appreciate your enthusiasm on this try, but it's still wrong. Please, just blue writing on a white cake. 'Bon Voyage, Charlie.' No extra colours. Just the writing. PLEASE."
"I don't even know who that guy is."
"Are you even listening to me?"
"We're not having much luck here. Let's just forget 'Bon Voyage' all together. Can you please just write 'Goodbye!' on a plain cake?"
"I'll take it."
On behalf of Randi H., Melissa S., Dennis W., Lindsay A., Valerie S., Lauren L., and Liz- we genuinely wish Charlie good luck on his trip. May there be no bleeding cauliflower on his flight.
Reader Comments (89)
I'm with Morgi - thank goodness someone said it. Seriously? Airbrushing the trim?
I can think of quite a few people for whom "Boyage" would be fun....? not minor boyage, but consentual boyage....uh, oh...
oh, and the cauliflower, perhaps is cotton? cottonpickin' hat wearin' shootin' at the cap'n? no?
These are too great!!
Okay, that comment about trying to decipher the bleeding cotton boll as a rebus makes me wonder......Jen? Do people actually make Rebus cakes?? Future post, pretty please? Share them!
on the cake with a picture of some guy is that at the chalmette batlefield!?!
C'mon, that third cake is so obvious. Mike is joining Starfleet and will be posted on the Enterprise. He and Indiana Jones have been chosen to head up a mission against the vicious natives of the planet Cottonfield. Using machine guns, they plan to squelch the Cottonfieldians' insidious plan to substitute all of our cotton underwear with nylon. Seriously...nobody else got that?
Too bad the decorators couldn't spell voyage right on Paul and Michael's cakes, aside from that they're quite lovely.
I want to believe that the original "Bon Boyage Charlie" cake might have been an intentional misspelling for someone who is expecting a son (emphasis on the 'want to').
"Goodbay Playre" could have been a prop from 'The Wire.'
wv- feczates: Spanish for chocolate icing poo-blobs.
Ahem *pushes up her thick nerd glasses* People in previous comments suggested Spanish and Tagalog as the wreckator's native language, but I think it could easily happen to a native English speaker as well - I happened to find this site, where it is explained better than I could :)
http://www.pronuncian.com/podcast.aspx?Episode=111
Basically, /b/ and /v/ are not that different, phonetically; think about the word play 'very berry', 'berry good', and other variations.
I swear on the first one I didn't even notice "Boyage".
I laughed hard. Comedy gold!
[snorting my drink] That was positively hilarious. Cake Wrecks is the best! Boyage - oh my gosh, the illiteracy! [more laughing] Thanks for making my day; I really needed a laugh!
I figured out what the bleeding cotton ball is... it's supposed to be a white carnation with blood dripping off it. Get it?
Sandy
*Someone* has to know what the bleeding cauliflower was supposed to be? Right?
The "Bon Boyage" reminds me of my students who come out of gym class telling me they played "bollyball" today. You know, that game where they hit the back back and forth over a net.
I said it on FB, but i'll repeat it here...
Boyage = cleavage with man boobs.
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John, John, John...*shaking head*...I can't possibly drink that much on a work night...but please warn us if you ever do "A Pizza Reaction" post with pictures. UGH!
WV: excate - a word meaning to flee, as in "The excate prisoner was caught posing as the local wreckreator."
did the 2nd cake have BLACK roses???????
Urban Dictionary gives this as one meaning for "boyage":
Visit to see a boyfriend or fling, requiring plane, train or automobile, and therefore more time and effort intensive than the average boo*y call.
2nd & last cake both have blackroses/flowers on the green leaves. Does that mean "Bob Voiage" and "Goodbay" really mean 'good riddance'?
Who the H#E$%^ are they hiring at these bakeries
I'm actually happy to see these cakes. When I read the title, I was afraid you were announcing that you were having to "retire" the blog. I was more than a bit worried.
*Sigh*
Thank goodness is was just more cake drama.
wv- glartive. What I imagine a lot of us would have been like towards you if you HAD announced such a tragedy.
@Melinda: My first thoughts on that third cake was that it obviously had to be an indiana jones x star trek crossover. I'm afraid I didn't pick up on the cotton plot though ;)
Anonymous said... All I have to say is 'Bleeding Cauliflower Controversy' would make a good name for a rock band.
now THAT'S funny!! paying for a professionally decorated cake & getting one of these? not so much.
Black roses twice was too creepy so I looked it up quick: according to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_rose_%28symbolism%29" rel="nofollow">Wikipedia (first place I look when I'm lazy), black roses symbolize "death, hatred, revenge, sorrow or mourning. It can also be used when conveying a farewell." Huh. Still creepy. As in farewell-we-are-sending-you-to-your-doom creepy.
Hmm I guess in the wreckerators world voyage is boyage.. can't seem to figure out why they have such a hard time with that word. That bleeding cauliflower looks like a bridal bouquet gone bad otherwise that cake was ok lol my hubby would have loved the Star Trek stuff on it. I wonder if anyone told the wreckerators to get a dictionary if they don't know how to spell a word lol. Or just Google it.. if they can.
#2 Are those prunes?! What sort of 'voiage' is Brian being sent on, anyway?
#3 I think it is a rebus. The decorator did a decent job on the various symbols, actually. How many wreckerators would get the Enterprise right without resorting to flotsam? As to what the rebus says...? Someone knows the story on this cake. How can they be induced to come forward?
Rebus could be a way to get messages onto cakes without worrying about spelling, parsing errors, strange punctuation, etc. though it does rely heavily on the artistic ability of the person with the icing bag. In the CW universe, that's a real craps shoot.
#4 'Bon Voyge' from Dr. Tongue's 3-D House of Cakes. Now where did I put those Bonine tablets?
#5 Extraneous quotation marks (the left ones are right on the border of the print) and misspelling. What more could Paul want?
#7 "Good Bay Playre"? For someone with the Packers, perhaps? And again with the prunes. Oy!
It's hard to get too worked up about 'bon boyage' when there are so many variations on 'voila', most of them phonetic. No wonder the French are snooty toward us. Not that one is likely to see 'voila' on a cake, but then, CW has opened up whole new vistas of things I never thought I'd see...
Kind of like the old 'Who's on first base" joke. I like it. Too bad you can't get something simple when they are so inclined to over-compensate for their previous short-comings. By the end of the day, taking what you can get seems like a good idea.
nice post dude.....
i just like the cakes... lovely..
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Celebrity is ass in a tin can. I also hate hate HATE the new rules about needing a passport to go on a damn cruise.
@M: Spock was said to have caught his ears in a rice-picker in "City on the Edge of Forever." (I remembered the crop but not the episode.)
As a Trekkie, I am loving that cake with the Enterprise and Star Fleet insignia on it!
Why is "color" spelled "colour"? Is Jen a Brit?
Came into the comments just to suggest that everyone find some 3D glasses for the Technicolor cake. It totally pops! Back to trying to catch up now.
Nope, Spock's ears were passed off as a mechanical RICE picker. The bleeding doohickey is definitely a lapel carnation. :-)
I can't believe they have that reference on that cake. The "bleeding cauliflower" is from a famous scene inspaghetti western history. It was a white carnation from the final shoot out in Sergio Corbucci's The Mercenary.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8PykHgkq8-Q
Goodbay? Reeeeeealy?
I suspect we need to don 3D glasses to view the fourth http://www.softdott.com/" rel="nofollow">best download software cake down properly.
Oh my gosh, I loled at work....I need to not be looking at cake wrecks....