The Baby Cake Gets Cut Down to Size
May 24, 2010 You know how sometimes you see a baby cake that's not too horrendously awful, and your first reaction is something like,
"Aw, just lookit that face! Who's a cute widdle boopsie woopsie baby? Is it you? Yes, it's you!!"
Anyway, my point is that while some of these baby cakes might be just the teensiest bit cute, you have to remember one very important thing:
Here we have the standard old man baby cake:
I say we call him Benjamin. ('Cuz he's cute as a Button!) [Quick side note: in case you're wondering, as I did, why he's on a food court tray: it turns out that's a new type of cake board popping up in bakeries. Weird, I know. Ok, sorry to interrupt. Let's move on.]
And just so you get the full effect:
Just lookit that face! No really, look at it. Aren't you glad the eyes aren't open?
[shiver] Whoah. I just gave myself the willies. (Or should I call them the "bennies?")
Okay. So, über realistic baby. Been there, done that. However, here's where things get...
...cutting.I would insert some side-splitting commentary here about how stabbing someone in the back always gets you the cold shoulder in the end - but as you can see, there's no need. He's already "waist"ing away!
Oh, Oh! Wait! I have one more:
Bwahahahahahaahaa!
Ah, I crack myself up sometimes.Anyway, we still haven't gotten to the worst part yet. The worst part actually, literally, in real reality, honestly gave John nightmares. Seriously. So now he won't let me post it here. Instead, I'm going to link to it. But please, all joking aside, choose your clicks wisely. I'm here to make you laugh, not give you nightmares - and this thing puts the "ick" in "squicky."
Ok, enough warnings (since I'm sure they're having the opposite affect anyway): Click here to see the final photo.
Thanks to Kimberley K., who will never again say to a child, "I could just eat you up!"
Note from John: I initially made that last picture a separate post and linked to it, not realizing it would show up in Google readers before the actual post. Oops. Sorry to those of you who clicked on it with no warning! Oh and if the new link doesn't work, you may have to refresh the page.
Reader Comments (274)
O. M. G. NO!!! Poor lil baby!!!! I agree with Kira-at least it was red velvet!!!
Awesome! I needed a boost to my diet! Thanks for reminding me and enforcing that cake is out!
I had kind of decided not to click on the link. Then I read the comments and decided I absolutely will not, ever, never, click the link. If it is that disgusting, it obviously should be banned by law, and the baker should be committed to the State Home for the Criminally Ill-Advised.
wv: molla
Holy, molla, that link must be disgusting.
This just reinforces my belief that Cakes should not, under any circumstances or for any reason, look like animate living things. No cake babies, cake brides, cake dogs, cake cats, cake caterpillers, cake butts, armadillos, etc.
Cake should look, in my opinion, just like something I want to eat...like CAKE! I'm all about the killing, mutilation and happy, happy eating of CAKE.
Not babies. No eating of babies!
Maybe it's a celebration cake for an anniversary of Jonathon Swift's work?
mocking
I love babies.......but I can never eat a whole one.
(very old joke I know, but so fitting......)
Quite possibly one of the most disturbing things I have ever seen. *shudder*
SO WRONG. JUST SO WRONG.
I consider myself tough, so I scoffed "how bad could it be?" as I clicked on the link.
It was worse.
I clicked back as quickly as I could, before the image had a chance to fully embed in my brain. Tonight under the covers with the lights out, we'll see how successful that was. *shudder*
Courtney
I'm not sure which would be more disturbing: getting served part of the face or the seat of the diaper.
I'm inclined towards the diaper.
I just happen to have a four-month-old son named Benjamin nursing in my lap right now. And After seeing those pictures, I think I might never let him out of my arms!
If I'm not mistaken, this is the precise reason Duff Goldman refused to make "people" cakes. Though apparently he has no problem with you hacking up your favorite pet in cake form.
Wow, I took your tale of John's woe for hyperbole, but... looking at that photo reminded me of that time I spent two days reading through random SCP's (scp-wiki.wikidot.com/ ; an entertaining and sometimes totally creeptastic wiki) and then had to sleep at my parents' because I had wigged myself out that badly.
[insert winky face here to imply this story could also be hyperbole]
Here's hoping I forget that photo before bedtime!
My face froze in horror for a few brief seconds. *shudders*
@ Anon at 11:08am - Brilliant!
I am reminded of the Star Trek episode where Brent Spiner is a cake and other cast members are eating him.
I'm reminded of the Star Trek episode where Brent Spiner is made into a cake and other crew members are eating him. That is what that picture reminds me of.
I think we should all be thankful that they decided against a strawberry filling.
Ah! my eyeballs are burning!
omg, when is it a good idea to make a cake like that. Im pretty sure i could even bring my self to have a piece of that.
ooh! sushi! (last photo)
at least it wasn't red velvet cake...
Let's stick to plastic babies in cakes. You know, the kind you remove before cutting. Those are just wrecky. This IS the stuff of nightmares!
Aaaaaaaaah! *screams and runs and hides*
Tishana
I find this cake inspiring.
EEEEEEWWWWWWW!
Uh,um, oh my, uh, why?
All I could do after I saw the last picture was laugh at how gross and ridiculous it all was...and disturbing.
Could this post be sent out to all bakeries with the skill to make a realistic-looking baby cake, as a public service advisory to NEVER, EVER, make a cake of a person that will then be sliced up and served?
The thoroughly inept bakeries, of course, are entirely welcome because we can happily laugh and then mock them without getting queasy first :)
PS and since nobody's mentioned it... baby that young sleeping face down, not a good idea. "Back to sleep" prevents SIDS. Another public health message for the day :)
PPS Loved CarrieP's and CarolineB's comments
Was that last picture from "Saw"?
Argggghhh!
oh come on, it'll take more then that gros....
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhh
That is possibly the most disturbing cake that I've ever seen. Who would eat that? Can you imagine if you were served the face? AAAHHHH!
The cake is just ridiculous...doesn't everyone know you're supposed to put babies down on their backs, not their tummies. C'mon, people!
Picture #2 reminded me of Tom Petty's "Don't Come Round Here No More" video from back in the day.
AAAAAUUUUGGGGHHH! My eyes! My eyes! That cake is disturbing on so many levels. Put this in the category of "Things you can't Un-See."
all I can say is... that's a nice bread knife.
SUSHI BABY!!!
Ummmmm.....creepy is not the right word. IT was horrid. I clicked on the link thinking....hey how bad could it be....its just cake. WRONG! I WAS SO WRONG. Some people are sick.
What is worse is they ate it....so wrong.
I will never look at a baby cake the same again. Never. Bluhh!
Ummmmm, ick! Life-like baby cakes give me the willies!
JohnnyB, it was Troi who was the cake...but that wasn't half as disturbing as this was. *shudder*
Quit talking about sushi, people, please? *big eyes* I adore sushi. If I connect it with this cake, will I ever be able to eat it again???
Seriously...creeeeeeeeeeeepy. So very wrong. Genuinely scary.
I actually came across this cake photo when I was researching ideas for my sister's baby shower cake. It creeped me waaaaay out BEFORE I saw it hacked to pieces!!! I joked to my friends: What kind of people would willingly want to HACK into that? And who gets the hiney? Blech. Seriously, seriously wrong.
Perfect cake for a Jonathan Swift/ "A Modest Proposal" party! See! We can give this a posative take!!
Yea...um..I don't know how anyone can enjoy cutting that cake. Wonder who got to eat the eye. *shudders*
THE HORROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I shouldn't have clicked on the link. I'm going to be sick.
Reminds me of the display at the Field Museum of Natural History (in Chicago) that had 2 human bodies cut into cross sections - one horizontally and one vertically - so you could see what was inside.
Now we know why babies are so sweet - inside of them is cake.
I wonder if it's a cellular peptide cake.
With mint frosting.
(Kudos to those who get the reference. You rock.)
*looks at last picture* ACK!!! O_O That is just so very, very wrong...
OH MY GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!! That's so awful!
I sometimes feel like y'all are more easily creeped out or grossed out than I would be, but that last one definitely made me uneasy. Yuck-o. I totally get where you're coming from.
Beware the link. It cannot be un-seen.
Creepy doesn't begin to describe that. There's no way I could eat much less hack into one of those!
So, so very wrong.