To Be Read By Rod Serling
March 10, 2010 Deedeedeedeeedeedeedeedee
You unlock this bakery with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension.
A dimension of icing.
A dimension of piping bags.
A dimension of wreckitude.
You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of bad taste and even worse skill. You just crossed over into...
BUM BUM BAAAAAHHHH...
Picture, if you will... a monkey. This monkey:
I know, creepy right? [shivering] Brrrrrr. Totally.[resuming serious announcer voice] Ahem. Now picture, if you will, five ravenous-yet-dim-witted Shih Tzu dogs:
[sternly] Let's call them Muffy, Boopsie, Precious, Buttercup and Mr. Snuggles.Now picture, if you will, a face of terror that watches in malignant silence far beyond your present capacity to understand. A face enigmatically bizarre in terms of time and space. A face...
...of a tweety bird.
"What up, playah?"This is the stuff of fantasy, the thread of imagination, the ingredients... of the Twilight Zone.
BUM BUM BAAAAAHHHHH... SQUEEDLEDEEEE!!!
Jennifer P., Matt N., Christine S., and Melanie L., picture, if you will... a dolphin eating a Snickers bar in flip-flops and a cardigan. Then tell me what that looks like. I've always wondered.
- Related Wreckage: A Cake Wrecks Salute
Note: A couple of people suggested the pictures should be in black and white which was an awesome idea. So we changed them. I think it adds to the ambiance, don't you? For those who really want to see the full color versions, click here.
UPDATE! LeAnna and Woobie took up the dolphin challenge and sent in their ideas.
AWESOME! Check out the flip flop thongs on his flippers.And next we have Woobie's
See, the snickers bar is wearing the cardigan and flip flops because I apparently have no grasp of sentence structure. ?thought Who would have
Touché!
One more!
This one's from Vanilla Smoke. Awesome!
Reader Comments (168)
Yeah, I'm pretty sure this just took all the sexy out of Rod Serling...:-(.
_Best_Post_Ever.
The first one looks like the village idiot from a Planet of the Apes movie.
"Meerkat zombies raising the roof" was funny enough, but "What up, Playah" turned them into JD and Turk... even funnier!
The monkey is definitely unintentionally creepy and therefore, a perfect example of a wreck.
At first glance, I thought Mr. Snuggles was dead (the bows look kind of like Xs on his eyes) and Boopsie and Precious are sticking their tongues out at me.
I've never wondered what a dolphin eating a Snickers bar in flip-flops and a cardigan looks like, but now, I always will.
Your post made my day!
One of your wittiest posts yet! Hilarious! The Tweety Bird had me gripped with horror!
:D
Oh! This was JOHN? What a great husband Jen has!
By the way.....That monkey is CREEPY!!!!!
This might be the best post I've read yet on this site. Hilarious!
Excuse me all of you judgmental cake snobs! I happen to have been the person who ordered the Meerkats wading through a swamp of sewage and dead fish. And I think the bakery did a SPLENDID job!
Kathleen
that's a lot of meerkat poo......
Tweety is going to scare little children everywhere, and the Shih Tzus would make my shih tzu run away from cake forever.
monkeys? can't even imagine.....
So far my favorite CW post of the year! I also had Rod Serling in my head the whole time. Yikes!
And, yes, the monkey cake was just darn creepy. Those eyes! Staring up at me! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
Tweetie Pie? Really? Brrrr!!!
As for the meerkats & their dirty protest, after being saturated for months by the most ghastly car insurance commercial here in the UK featuring animated Russian (I kid you not) meerkats, I'd be happy to take a large knife to them.
..and thank goodness it wasn't a monkey's paw, the face is scary enough!
Gah! That "Tweety" cake...them's are soul-staring eyes! IT KNOWS MY SECRETS! KILL IT! KILL IT WITH FIRE!
I think the Meerkats Squeedle-Doo'd all over their cake. Or would it be Squeedle-Did? Hmmmm... The conundrums provided by these Wreckerators will carry me through the day.
Think. Think. Think.
:) and laugh!
@Miradwyn--
I was thinking about Planet of the Apes, too. I do not want a cake that makes me think about that. If I look again, I'll have nightmares tonight, probably.
*****
Tweety looks like he is covered in little bits of colored tissue paper. Hope someone gets him right one day!
EEEEEeeaaaaaaaa.......the meerkats! **shiver**
My brother's gerbils killed their young once and THAT is exactly what it looked like! The parents standing over their recently decimated young!
AAKK!
It took me almost 30 minutes to stop laughing so hard.
My mom had to come in and ask me if I was okay. I couldn't answer her. I just pointed and laughed even harder XD
Seriously, the funniest post to me.
I love you, Cake Wrecks. Please never leave<3
Squeedle Dee.... snicker, snicker, snort... Bwahhahahahha..
I have NO Idea why that made me laugh out loud.. but.... Squeedle Dee... my new favorite word!!
Those Meerkat's are way to proud of themselves for the "mess" they left in the grass.
That was a freaky post.
Looks like the meerkats have a bunch of poo piles too. I know now that imitating poo on cakes is a desirable skill on Cake Wrecks.
Tweety Bird was cool too.
I am also here to invite you to enter my blog contest. It's the same one I had last year. It's Box of Awesome time again. It's free and welcome to all! Just thought I'd extend the invite to my favorite famous blog friend that doesn't know me, but I still check her out everyday. :)
Absolutely FABULOUS commentary today! I could hear Rod talking and the scary music playing throughout. The meerkats made me laugh out loud, and I have to watch that since I'm at work.
Thanks, John, for providing a wonderful, bright spot for my morning! And I won't judge you at all, this post was way too good for that :) .
As always, you guys rock!!!!
Anne-Marie (not THAT Anne-Marie)
I'm with Krista. Is the dolphin wearing the flip-flops and cardigan, or did someone dress up the snickers bar before feeding it to the dolphin?
I think I'm going to have nightmares about that monkey, I couldn't even scroll down, I just sat there while it sucked out my soul through the computer screen. And when I was finally able to scroll, I had to go back up, just be sure it was real.
Picture, if you will, me, barfing on your shoes. Muwahahahahaha!
I love the meerkat zombies and the heaps of rotting flesh at their feet.
Is it wrong that I actually find the shih tzu cupcakes kind of cute?
But horror upon horrors, what ARE the roof-raising meerkats wading though!? (***ohmygoddon'tanswerthati don'twanttoknow)
Flashing now to Indiana Jones:Temple of Doom ==> Chilled monkey brains! A delicacy!
Urp.
So far, one of the best posts ever! I laughed so hard I choked!
Why would the Snickers bar be in flip-flops and a cardigan?
The funny thing (or perhaps the scary thing) is that you nailed Serling perfectly in the writing. I could hear his voice narrating this entry as I read it.
Wait!
I recognize that Tweetie!
Remember the Loony Toons episode where Tweetie gets the Dr. Jekyll/ Mr. Hyde potion and becomes Tweetie Hyde? He's enormous and kinda... square... and looks an awful lot like that cake!
Or is it just me?
My first instinct when I saw that monkey cake was to punch it. Like If somebody had plopped down a monkey cake next to me I would have shrieked like a girl and donkey punched it. TAKE THAT MONKEY CAKE! Also, my first instinct with the ShiTzu cake was to throw them, individually. What is it about creature cakes that makes me so violent? I might have issues.
im going to have such horrible nightmares tonight. OMG.
I would say the gorilla/monkey cake is appropriate; it reminds me of one of the scariest things ever shown on TV--'Terror at 20,000 Feet', a Twilight Zone episode where a gorilla-like creature terrorizes William Shatner.
Like that episode, these wrecks are enough to make me scream and run away!
Oh good - someone else thought of Planet of the Apes with the first cake. I couldn't look away. I was waiting for the next cake to be the head of the Statue of Liberty.
Meerkats - I loved the "What up, Playa!" comment. *rofl* SOOOO appropriate. I would love to know what the exact order was for this. So awesome.
HAHA you made me laugh so hard. I had to think-read it in the voice. Great stuff. Baaaad cakes. lol
Rashelle
Do the meerkats look like they've got incontenance issues to anyone else, or is it just me?
Am I missing something with the monkey? I mean it's ugly but that is what monkeys look like. They are not all Curious George looking things.
Jen, what are you on and how can I get me some???? LOL!!!!
What up playah???
wv: ingso - "So, do you want one of these cakes for your birthday?" "No, I don't ingso, they're all way too scary!"
Oh, switching the pictures to B&W, stroke of creative genius!
What bothers me about the monkey is the nostrils. I would not want to be the person who got the piece cut from the nose.
ew.
WV: nophist, as in "Nophist is too strong to punch that monkey face cake!"
That may be my fave post to date - however, now I have the urge to ride the Twilight Tower of Terror @ Disney World.
Oh dear, that's just...oh dear...
I, for one, cannot come up with one single reason to have a monkey cake.
Not one. Eew.
The shih tzu cupcakes are actually pretty cute. Except the one on the far right... I think it's time to take that one to the vet.
The "Tweety" cake will give me nightmares. But since I like zombies, the meerkat cake might have be kinda awesome..if only they didn't poo in the grass.
I never comment, although I read this blog almost daily, but I had to say that this was one of the most brilliant posts ever.
"Meerkats in a field of their own waste, please."
"Yep, that's what the lady said, just make it..."
I had a bad Tweety experience when I was young. I was nearly over it. Now I'm not. Thanks Jen.
Aww, I kind of preferred the color pictures - the wreckiness of the meerkats is a little lost in the B&W.
At the same time, I don't know if it really NEEDS to be wreckier. The shiny, glistening gobs of icing entrails of their previous victims...it's like "Meerkat Manor" gone wrong.
I know you changed them to B&W upon request, but is there somewhere you could like the color versions for those of us who came late to the party?
The monkey actually looks like one of the masks from the episode of the same name. Kind of like the one the old man made Alam Souse wear. Creeeeeeeeeeepy...