Monday
Jan042010
Curbing Their Enthusiasm
January 4, 2010 I can't quite put my finger on it, but something about these cakes seems to be a little, uh...
anticlimactic? [smirk]Well, less than enthusiastic, anyway.
Oops!
At least you can always count on your co-workers to wish you well:
From what I hear, unless Jenn detonates Tabasco-soaked barbed explosives in her hoo-haw for a living, then odds are the delivery is gonna be a BIT more "pain full then" her job. But that's just what I hear. ;)And we all have those friends who are especially supportive:
All things considered, though, this last cake is definitely the most inconceivable:
Yep, nothing says "Yours is a tragedy that might have been avoided" quite like a cake decorated with real birth control pills. For the women of Oregon! Onward!
Becca S., Lisa S., Ying K., Brittany C., Jenn M., Erin K., & Emily S., this thread on what childbirth feels like is probably the most effective (not to mention hilarious) contraception I've seen.
- Related Wreckage: Mixed Signals
NOTE: No, that last one wasn't really a baby shower cake - but wouldn't it've been funny if it was?
Reader Comments (108)
In your link, the original comment "Take your lower lip and pull it over your head" is from a famous (well, used to be famous) routine of Bill Cosby's. If you haven't heard it, you should-- it will leave you gasping for breath.
"When the second contraction hit, my wife stood up-- in the stirrups-- and told everyone in the delivery room that my parents were never married..."
I'm loving the Marge cake because it's totally a Simpsons reference, and I hope the person who got that cake got the joke as well.
Still, "tobasco-soaked barbed explosives in her hoo-haw" is the comment of the day! To make this comment even funnier, the word verification for me to post is "deadly"
Your Tabasco comment reminds me a lot of Lorelai Gilmore's description of childbirth (Gilmore Girls). I believe she said it was along the lines of doing the splits on a crate of dynamite.
hilarious cakes, but as a new mom, I warn other moms-to-be, do NOT read that thread! that's just horrifying. descriptions may be worse than reality :)
Having just come from the gynecologist, where someone's baby was crying for the entire hour I was there, these cakes are perfect for reinforcing my joy over never planning to conceive. No screaming children and no baby shower cake wreck! Win-win situation! The screaming baby with "Good Luck!" is my favorite.
Looking at the birth control cake, the first thing that came to mind was: "Somebody must seriously have it in for Oregon children".
I was gonna say, that last one must've been one expensive cake if it WAS real! These are just too funny, LOVE the sarcasm on cakes 4 and 5 and gold star for the Simpsons reference (Shasta, I believe it came from a pamphlet Dr. Hibbert gave Marge when she found out about Bart:)
To be honest, I wouldn't mind getting a sarcastic funny cake myself, sugary sweet and cuddly just isn't me:-D
...why did i read that thread, why?
you know, i realize it's a human life and all, but if in the 21st century i'm not even expected to get a wisdom tooth pulled without sedation, i don't think i'd be turning down that epidural.
The link is hilarious, as is the tendency of any group of women to eventually end up comparing labor stories. My girlfriends have told me I'm not allowed to tell the story of giving birth to my daughter. I had a quick and wonderful home birth, my story starts "It was this gorgeous Sunday morning in February, it was so warm there were early spring flowers in the yard. . . ." About this point my friends throw things at me and leave in disgust LOL
I'm impressed though by the "So you've ruined your life", correct use of apostrophes and the right your! Not so much on the "Congrat's" though.
I'm a little less proud to be an Oregonian right now...
Looks like some wreckerators were so cowed by your mocking their exclamation points that they are afraid to put any on at all.
I love the "less pain full than your job" cake. It would be pure win if it weren't for the poor spacing and the misspelling. Unless perhaps the mom-to-be is a layout editor and making the CAKE as painful as her job.
This is where I press the SUBMIT button and hope you don't have eleven comments in your moderation queue that say the exact same thing.
Gahh! What's with all these people finding the Tabasco comment funny?! That's horrifying! And the labor description link... I think I'll go whimper in a corner now.
Speaking as a "Woman of Oregon" I think I'd rather see a cake with a vasectomy depicted.
Aww, that second cake was actually pretty. Too bad they couldn't think of something better to write on it!
*sigh* what timing! my c-section (baby #2) is scheduled for less than 3 weeks away. I think I'm going to go hide now. :)
For everyone saying that the Marge cake isn't a wreck because it's a Simpson's reference that fans will understand:
Go back, look at the cake. It looks like it has been dropped in the dirt and re-iced, and like there was only enough icing to make 3/4 of the flower frame. It's still a wreck...
I wish I'd thought of doing the Marge Simpson quote on my baby shower cake!
Here's the script from the Simpsons episode "I Married Marge":
Dr. Hibbert breaks the news.
Dr.H: Well, uh, Miss Bouvier,
I think we've found the reason why you've been
throwing up in the morning.
Congratulations.
Homer: D'oh!
Homer's ``D'oh'' echoes through the hospital.
Dr.H: Perhaps this pamphlet will prove helpful. [hands over a pamphlet]
Marge: [reads] So you've ruined your life.
-- Marge learns she's pregnant, ``I Married Marge''
http://www.snpp.com/episodes/8F10.html
Anonymous at 4:31 PM said "Speaking as a "Woman of Oregon" I think I'd rather see a cake with a vasectomy depicted..."
As Charles Fort used to say: "Be careful what you ask for...you might just get it."
I'll just retire to the bomb shelter now, and wait for the cakes that incautious comment will cause to be made. I can hear the mixing of the pinky-brown frosting now...
Aieee!
I love the 'so you ruined your life' but seriously they misspelled the painful birthing/easy job cake. Pah. How hard is it really to spell?
wv: umbilyot Last time I was out on the water it was in umbilyot! What a nice yacht uncle bill has too!
The first one almost looks like it says It Is a Bog.
That huge baby face was scary!
I feel like I must provide a counter-point to the Tabasco-sauce description and the giving birth thread that was linked...I didn't read thru all the pages to see if they ever got many comments of women who had great birth experiences. I gotta represent.
I had a great birth with my daughter! 14h total. Labored at home for awhile, got to the hospital fully dilated, pushed for a long time (3 hours, she was sunny-side up) but it went by fast--time has no meaning at that point. It was intense at times but didn't "hurt" per se. Just a big athletic endeavor.
Right afterward, I told my husband, "Well, that wasn't so bad! I'd do that again!" ...he later told me that he thought "Are you kidding me? I thought your face was going to explode!"
I live in Oregon, am pregnant with my second, and didn't realize what a deadly sin it is to not use as many contraceptive pills as I can muster. I'll try harder, women of Oregon... Sorry to disappoint.
Pretty funny cakes, though, really! I'll have to ask for a fun and sarcastic cake for my shower. :)
-"Bess"
I want to give someone the "So You've Ruined Your Life" cake!
It's a fine
Being out-to-here-and-miserable pregnant these days; that all just made my freakin' year! Thanks, Jen.
Those Oregonian women( or orgasims as I like to refer to the general populace) nevah heard of birth control pills
punx, in Glasgow, Oregon
The second cake had real potential to be cute.
*Unsuccessfully trying to stifle uncontrollable laughter* Tobasco-soaked barbed explosives. . .too funny! That last cake is, um, creative? Lol, great post!
Anna Marie
WV: muslogs - The disease which attacked Marge's hand. That's why it was amputated.
Maybe all the girls pitched in and donated their birth control pills for the occasion.
hee! the "it is a boy" cake is so dwight-schrute-ish! like the time he put up a banner for kelly's birthday that said, all in arial font caps, "IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY."
LOL at the Marge Simpson cake - I used to be a big fan of the show.
So, I very rarely watch Jay Leno. However, I was watching it with the fiancé's parents tonight, and saw three cakes obviously taken right from this site on the Headlines.
I don't know if there was permission given, but...just clarifying. ^-^
it was the "leave blank," "big tip if there by 12" and one more I can't recall.
Anyway...cheers!
Lauren
I didn't get the Marge reference, but I would still love that cake if I was ever so unfortunate as to find myself on the verge of birthing a child.
If the maternal instinct/biological clock decides to kick in during the latter half of my 20s, I'll be sure to remember the Tabasco explosives comment to reaffirm my decision to adopt later in life. :)
--kate
Haha love the Simpsons one. If I ever have a baby shower I shall get one of those!
What's with the bacon rashers on the contraceptive cake?
The last cake made me dang proud to be a Woman of Oregon - **I** get to choose when I have children! It's PLANNED Parenthood people - not NO Parenthood! BTW, I did choose 21 years ago and 19 years ago and haven't looked back since. (I also try not to look down, stretch-marks y'know!)
LOVE Jenn's description of childbirth, it is right up there with Bill Cosby's!
I see my BC pills on there!! LOL! I could have donated my first pack since I was already pregnant and couldn't use them!
Did anyone else see the blatant cake wreck rip offs on Leno's Headlines tonight?
The Marge one is awesome. If I ever get pregnant, I'll be expecting one of these from my nearest and dearest.
That Marge Simpson one was definitely modeled after her cake in the series. I think her sisters got her a cake that said those words. LOL
My mistake - the words were actually on a pamphlet, as some other posters have said. Still funny!
The 3rd cake looks like something my parents would get for us. (Married 10 years, parents of 3, would like 1 more). They think that the 3rd was too much.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. :P
I'm not sure, but I think that last one has fly paper on it, too!
Kathy
Yeah, be jealous. I live in the state that decorates their cakes with contraceptives.
The Condom Cup Cake comes next!
I just want to know - is that bacon curled around the corners of the birth-control cake? Or flypaper? (Might be a primitive form of birth control...)
I want a band called "They are Boys" now-- We'd ALWAYS be a sold out show XD
The first cake needs a period at the end, just to cement the finality and matter-of-factness.
Allll right... what exactly is wrong with congrat's? It's a contraction, right? Congrat[ulation]s? Admittedly not a NORMAL one....